TAR13, Recap Leg 9, 11/23/08

Welcome to Leg 9! Last time, on MOOOOOOOOOOO!, teams galloped from Dehli to Almaty, Kazakhstan, where we were subjected to the most Borat references ever. Dallas gets closer to Starr, and Terence gets very close to a piece of meat even though he’s a vegetarian of sixteen years (until, of course, he tried to eat meat). Dandrew is clueless, but Terence and Sarah are very far behind and are eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Nick/Starr, Team HSM! *jazz hands*, arrived at 9:21 AM
2nd – Toni/Dallas, Team Himbo, arrived at 10:47 AM
3rd – Ken/Tina, Team Mom and Dad Evans, 11:17 AM
4th – Andrew/Dan, Team Superbad, 12:41 PM

Old Square, Pan Filev Park, Almaty, Kazakhstan

9:21 PM Nick/Starr (1st)
Clue: Fly 2000 miles to Moscow, Russia. Once there, take a taxi to a local monastery and light a candle to get your next clue. You have $175 for this leg of the race.

10:47 PM Toni/Dallas (2nd)
11:17 PM Ken/Tina (3rd)
12:41 AM Andrew/Dan (4th) – So, Dandrew made an interesting mistake of leaving their shoes at the Detour and are now traipsing through Kazakhstan in slippers.

Teams arrive at the airport in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Ken/Tina
4- Andrew/Dan

Teams arrive at the airport and find that the earliest flight out is an Air Astana flight at 6:05 AM. So, Dallas and Starr get a little closer and joke about Nick and Starr always being first. Cue the love theme from some 1990’s teen drama. And Dandrew finds a 24 hour shoe store. Cue the POLKA OF SHOES!

The Amazing Yellow Line flies to Moscow. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Andrew/Dan – Dan: “Well, that looks churchy.”
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Nick/Starr
4- Ken/Tina

Teams race to the monastery, and teams light the candles. The women wear head scarves and are reverent. They then grab the clue in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Andrew/Dan
4- Ken/Tina

Teams must now travel to the outskirts of Moscow by taxi and find Kolosok Camp, and search the grounds for the next clue. Teams arrive and find the clue in the following order:

1- Toni/Dallas
2- Andrew/Dan
3- Ken/Tina
4- Nick/Starr – who have the most confused taxi driver ever.

And now, we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Boots OR Borscht

For this Detour, all teams must first suit up in Russian uniforms and put them on correctly, including the traditional foot wrap.

*Boots: Teams must find the squadron and learn a parade march and then complete one lap of the parade route in order to get their next clue.
*Borscht: Teams must find the mess tent and serve borscht to 75 soldiers in order to get their next clue.

1-Toni/Dallas choose Boots
2-Ken/Tina choose Boots
3-Andrew/Dan choose Boots – When Dan decided that Andrew couldn’t put the wrap on his foot, he decided that they needed to do Borscht, neglecting the fact that they still needed to suit up for that task. So, the boys bald snarked to Borscht, only to return to the tent to change back into the outfits and decide to do Boots. So, after the double bald snark, we see that Dan can’t march his way out of a paper bag, and even the Russians are laughing at him. So, we see the rarely attempted triple bald snark back to Borscht where the boys FINALLY complete a task.
4-Nick/Starr choose Boots – and wore each others uniforms.

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Toni/Dallas
2- Ken/Tina
3- Nick/Starr
4- Andrew/Dan

Teams are now told to take a taxi to the Zhukovsky Bakery in a nearby town to find their next clue. They arrive in the following order:

1- Toni/Dallas
2- Ken/Tina
3- Nick/Starr
4- Andrew/Dan

And teams come to the eighth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who has a strong back?

In this roadblock, one team member must unload 50 55 pound bags of flour and stack it correctly to get their next clue from the snarky baker woman.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Dallas
2- Ken
3- Nick – Baker: “He’s not fit.”
4- Dan

After much hauling of flour, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Toni/Dallas
2- Ken/Tina
3- Nick/Starr – who switched taxis in order to get to the pit stop faster.
4- Andrew/Dan

Teams must now travel by taxi back into Moscow and find Naskuchny Sad Park, the PIT STOP of the ninth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Toni/Dallas – Toni: “Say it, Phil.” Phil: “Say what, Toni?” Dallas: “Say, ‘Toni and Dallas, you’re team number one.” Phil: “Why would I say that?” They are, and they win a trip for two to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.
2- Ken/Tina
3- Nick/Starr
4- Andrew/Dan

Phil: “I’m sorry to tell you . . . you’re still in the Race!” We’re sorry too Phil. VERY sorry. So the boys now have to complete a Speed Bump in the next leg. Not that I expect to see them after next week. Let’s leave them in Russia, shall we?

ORDER NOW:
1st – Toni/Dallas
2nd – Ken/Tina
3rd – Nick/Starr
4th – Andrew/Dan

Next week: Teams are dancing in Moscow, and Dan reprises his excellent coordination. Plus, en route to the Final 3, some racer loses their passport and cash and jeopardizes their place in the race. Until next time. . .