where is my food show recap for my food holiday?

Sorry I'm late with this, but I'm at my parents' house and I haven't gotten a chance to watch "Top Chef" yet. I don't know when I'll watch it, let alone get a recap done, but I'm hoping it'll be up by Sunday night at the latest. Happy Thanksgiving! Clicky clicky

TAR13, Recap Leg 9, 11/23/08

Welcome to Leg 9! Last time, on MOOOOOOOOOOO!, teams galloped from Dehli to Almaty, Kazakhstan, where we were subjected to the most Borat references ever. Dallas gets closer to Starr, and Terence gets very close to a piece of meat even though he’s a vegetarian of sixteen years (until, of course, he tried to eat meat). Dandrew is clueless, but Terence and Sarah are very far behind and are eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Nick/Starr, Team HSM! *jazz hands*, arrived at 9:21 AM
2nd – Toni/Dallas, Team Himbo, arrived at 10:47 AM
3rd – Ken/Tina, Team Mom and Dad Evans, 11:17 AM
4th – Andrew/Dan, Team Superbad, 12:41 PM

Old Square, Pan Filev Park, Almaty, Kazakhstan

9:21 PM Nick/Starr (1st)
Clue: Fly 2000 miles to Moscow, Russia. Once there, take a taxi to a local monastery and light a candle to get your next clue. You have $175 for this leg of the race.

10:47 PM Toni/Dallas (2nd)
11:17 PM Ken/Tina (3rd)
12:41 AM Andrew/Dan (4th) – So, Dandrew made an interesting mistake of leaving their shoes at the Detour and are now traipsing through Kazakhstan in slippers.

Teams arrive at the airport in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Ken/Tina
4- Andrew/Dan

Teams arrive at the airport and find that the earliest flight out is an Air Astana flight at 6:05 AM. So, Dallas and Starr get a little closer and joke about Nick and Starr always being first. Cue the love theme from some 1990’s teen drama. And Dandrew finds a 24 hour shoe store. Cue the POLKA OF SHOES!

The Amazing Yellow Line flies to Moscow. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Andrew/Dan – Dan: “Well, that looks churchy.”
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Nick/Starr
4- Ken/Tina

Teams race to the monastery, and teams light the candles. The women wear head scarves and are reverent. They then grab the clue in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Andrew/Dan
4- Ken/Tina

Teams must now travel to the outskirts of Moscow by taxi and find Kolosok Camp, and search the grounds for the next clue. Teams arrive and find the clue in the following order:

1- Toni/Dallas
2- Andrew/Dan
3- Ken/Tina
4- Nick/Starr – who have the most confused taxi driver ever.

And now, we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Boots OR Borscht

For this Detour, all teams must first suit up in Russian uniforms and put them on correctly, including the traditional foot wrap.

*Boots: Teams must find the squadron and learn a parade march and then complete one lap of the parade route in order to get their next clue.
*Borscht: Teams must find the mess tent and serve borscht to 75 soldiers in order to get their next clue.

1-Toni/Dallas choose Boots
2-Ken/Tina choose Boots
3-Andrew/Dan choose Boots – When Dan decided that Andrew couldn’t put the wrap on his foot, he decided that they needed to do Borscht, neglecting the fact that they still needed to suit up for that task. So, the boys bald snarked to Borscht, only to return to the tent to change back into the outfits and decide to do Boots. So, after the double bald snark, we see that Dan can’t march his way out of a paper bag, and even the Russians are laughing at him. So, we see the rarely attempted triple bald snark back to Borscht where the boys FINALLY complete a task.
4-Nick/Starr choose Boots – and wore each others uniforms.

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Toni/Dallas
2- Ken/Tina
3- Nick/Starr
4- Andrew/Dan

Teams are now told to take a taxi to the Zhukovsky Bakery in a nearby town to find their next clue. They arrive in the following order:

1- Toni/Dallas
2- Ken/Tina
3- Nick/Starr
4- Andrew/Dan

And teams come to the eighth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who has a strong back?

In this roadblock, one team member must unload 50 55 pound bags of flour and stack it correctly to get their next clue from the snarky baker woman.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Dallas
2- Ken
3- Nick – Baker: “He’s not fit.”
4- Dan

After much hauling of flour, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Toni/Dallas
2- Ken/Tina
3- Nick/Starr – who switched taxis in order to get to the pit stop faster.
4- Andrew/Dan

Teams must now travel by taxi back into Moscow and find Naskuchny Sad Park, the PIT STOP of the ninth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Toni/Dallas – Toni: “Say it, Phil.” Phil: “Say what, Toni?” Dallas: “Say, ‘Toni and Dallas, you’re team number one.” Phil: “Why would I say that?” They are, and they win a trip for two to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.
2- Ken/Tina
3- Nick/Starr
4- Andrew/Dan

Phil: “I’m sorry to tell you . . . you’re still in the Race!” We’re sorry too Phil. VERY sorry. So the boys now have to complete a Speed Bump in the next leg. Not that I expect to see them after next week. Let’s leave them in Russia, shall we?

ORDER NOW:
1st – Toni/Dallas
2nd – Ken/Tina
3rd – Nick/Starr
4th – Andrew/Dan

Next week: Teams are dancing in Moscow, and Dan reprises his excellent coordination. Plus, en route to the Final 3, some racer loses their passport and cash and jeopardizes their place in the race. Until next time. . .

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Top Chef 11/19/08--"Show Your Craft" summary

Previously on Top Chef: Seventeen chefs showed up for the competition, but Lauren was sent home right away for not knowing her apples. Everyone else got to cook foods based on different ethnic neighborhoods. The two Europeans quickly felt they were superior to everyone, and other than that no one made a large impression. Stefan, one of the aforementioned Europeans, won both the Quickfire and the Elimination challenges. Patrick, the cute culinary student, went home first. Which is good because I think if I’d had to watch him flounder for weeks that would be sad. This ain’t “Hell’s Kitchen”. Also there is “Team Rainbow.” (click for more)

Richard recaps the last episode for us, while I see Stefan smoking in the house. Boo. (Kmanpat: “Oo, smokers are hot!”) Ariane is still kind of freaking out because she was on the bottom with Patrick. Stefan is quite pleased with himself, but of course he thinks Fabio (the other European) is his biggest competition. Not any silly Americans. Fabio is calm about it, because it’s not about the dragons but who goes home with the princess. Hee.

Padma greats everyone with Donatella Arpaia. Thanks for nothing, Bravo, for having your stupid ad for real housewives of some stupid place onscreen at the EXACT moment you put up the chyron for Donatella. Padma lets the contestants know they will be making something New Yorkers spend millions of dollars on, and in a “Top Chef” first they’ll have an expert to cook against. In rolls a hot dog cart. Heh. Angelina, the woman with the cart, will be making hot dogs for all of them to beat. Fabio does not know how to make hot dogs. Sausage only. Hee. They will have 45 minutes.

Hosea can see people freaking out. That’s because people have forgotten how to make hot dogs from scratch. Daniel has had Angelina’s hot dogs before, or something similar, so he knows what he’s up against. Fabio knows you can’t beat the “American” hot dog at its own game, so he’s got sausage and is going a totally different direction. Jill knows she can’t make hot dogs from scratch, so she’s wrapping pre-made hot dogs in rice paper. Radhika is making kabobs, I think. Hosea has no experience stuffing sausages. Oh, like I would ignore that comment. (Kmanpat: “Darn. He can come over, I’ll teach him.”)

Jill: summer rolls with hot dogs and chili, soy sauce, and rice wine vinegar. Ew. But she didn’t make the hot dogs. She says she didn’t have time. Radhika: kabob style with lamb, pork, and ground chuck, and caramelized onions, cucumbers, and tomato jam. That sounds fantastic. Daniel: pork hot dog with horseradish, mustard, garlic powder, and fried onions. Eugene: maki roll with pita bread, red onions, and boursin cheese. Oh, Eugene. That is not maki. You are from Hawaii. Sigh. Hosea: bacon and roasted pepper hot dog, with roasted poblanos and jalapeños. Stefan: “World Dog”, which is Italian sausage on a French roll with Wisconsin cheese and Irish tartar sauce. And German beer. Oo, bribery with booze. Carla: Lamb and pork sausage with “quick” sauerkraut and caramelized onions. Ariane: chicken sausage, bacon, celery seed, garlic, and white pepper. Fabio: andouille sausage with goat cheese, roasted bell pepper, and sun dried tomatoes. Jamie: pork and beef sausage, bacon, onions, smoked paprika and cayenne pepper. Oh, but there is a ground bone in it. Oops. Angelina then gives the judges a New York dog with mustard and relish. I thought they should feed the contestants too.

Jill was one of the worst, because everyone else made sausage. Stefan also was on the bottom. Ha. Donatella says she wouldn’t go anywhere for that. Stefan of course scoffs at this. Radhika is in the top, for embracing her Indian theme and having moistness. Fabio’s Mediterranean flavors carried through. Hosea’s bacon was also excellent. Radhika wins! She’s glad to have proven herself.

Padma starts out her description of the Elimination challenge by talking about how tough New Yorkers can be as customers, and then says they’ll be opening a Top Chef restaurant. Um…it’s a little early for Restaurant Wars, but OK. Fabio has opened 7 restaurants already, so he’s like, eh. They have to make up a 3 course “New American” lunch menu. That is such a broad and nebulous category. Everyone is responsible for one dish, and they’ll have 2 hours to prep before they serve 50 people. Padma dismisses them and people immediately start yelling. Jeff wanders off and when he comes back he makes people sign up and move around. 5 people are making appetizers, 5 making entrees, and 5 making desserts, which is cool because usually you have to force people to make dessert. Jeff says luckily the numbers worked out.

Off to Whole Foods with 30 minutes and $2,500. Jeff thinks they look like they’re robbing the place, shoving soccer moms out of the way. Eugene tells us the $2,500 is for everyone. Hosea’s making something with crab, but he’s got to buy his crab sight unseen in tubs. Fabio is making beef carpaccio. Jill has decided to make ostrich eggs, but put them in a quiche. So…what would the point be, then? Maybe they taste different. (Kmanpat: “We should ask Colin and Chip.”) Luckily everyone is under budget.

The appetizer group consists of Fabio, Hosea, Melissa, Leah, and Jamie. Jamie loves their cohesiveness and tells us she’s making chilled corn soup. The entree group is Stefan, Jeff, Alex, Eugene, and Jill. Jill prepares to open her ostrich egg, which is of course harder to do than normal eggs. Jamie thinks she’s ridiculous. Desserts are Carla, Ariane, Daniel, Richard, and Radhika. Ariane is making a lemon meringue martini, because she’s not a baker. So why are you doing desserts? Tom appears to tell everyone that they’re going to be cooking at his restaurant craft. Oo! He’ll be with them the entire time, and also there is another twist: all of the diners are New York chefs who tried out for “Top Chef” and did not make it. Ha! Awesome. Carla kind of freaks out, because she knows these diners are going to be hyper-critical.

At home Fabio is telling Stefan about his dragon/princess metaphor. They’re pretty jokey about it. Eugene brags that the flight home to Europe will probably be long. He’s there to win for his family. Hey, Hosea has glasses like mine! Granted, I have narrow black rectangular frames like a million other people, but still.

As Fabio says he’s ready for tomorrow, Leah randomly interviews that she is into having a boyfriend because otherwise she’s too crazy. This is to explain why she’s all over Hosea. Fabio is like, good for them. (Kmanpat: *singing* “Long has he waited for her coming home to him…“) This little scene was in the middle of the commercials. I don’t know.

In the morning, Carla freaks out at the idea that she’ll have to learn another kitchen. I’m sure Tom’s kitchen is well-laid out. Everyone huddles under umbrellas, Richard (I think) under a busted one.

Fabio interviews that he wants to be Tom. Everyone gets their own corner in the craft kitchen. See, I told you. Jamie is unconcerned about her soup. Fabio is talking about olives, and it takes me a minute, but he’s busted out some molecular gastronomy to take olive puree and solidify the outside, so you have little bubbles of olive, with liquid centers. That’s pretty cool. And they look almost like regular olives. Hosea is seasoning his crab, and he seems fairly confident. Jill is trying to plan her time so her quiche can cook. Carla obsesses over her pie crust. Ariane asks everyone to taste her martini. All we can see of it is some kind of purple fruit in the bottom of glasses, so I’m not sure what’s going on. Richard thinks it’s too sweet, but he won’t tell her because it’s a competition. Carla admits it, though. Even though at least Carla said it finished sweet, Ariane interviews in a mousy voice that it’s what she made, so that’s what she’ll serve. But in the kitchen she threatens everyone that they’ll hear it if she goes under.

I very much like how craft looks. The Top Chef rejects hang out and network and talk shop. They kind of bug me, although I’m sure the producers picked out the most obnoxious ones so we’d think they were all bitter douche bags. But I have the feeling it’ll be like “Hell’s Kitchen” where the loudest, most irritating people get all the camera time and act up on purpose to be on TV. Tom is going to expedite back in the kitchen. He’s immediately giving orders and making sure everyone shapes up.

Appetizers are up first, obviously. Jamie: chilled sweet corn soup (Tom calls for “corn puree”) with chili oil and mint. Gail and Padma love it. Hosea: chilled crab with citrus vanilla dressing, mango, and avocado. It is slimy and muddy, or something. People can taste that the crab came out of a can. Leah: Yukon potatoes with seared scallops, chives, and green peppercorns. Someone says the scallops are sandy. Padma thinks the presentation is 80’s. Fabio: beef carpaccio with arugula salad, parmesan, balsamic vinaigrette, and “spherical olives”. Donatella loves it. Melissa: grilled avocado, white peaches, nectarines, and balsamic vinaigrette. It’s not exciting enough. Some guy thinks he could have done better. Some other people opine that it’s 75% effort.

Entrée time. Jill: ostrich quiche with rice pecan crust, asparagus, and aged cheese. This is compared to dog food with the flavor of glue. Not good. Eugene: open-faced meatloaf sandwich with ciabatta bread, gouda fondue, and portabella ragout. Bad presentation, says Donatella. It’s kind of deconstructed, but admittedly I am not a presentation person so unless it‘s really bad I have no idea about it. Stefan: pan seared halibut, micro greens, ravioli, champagne sauce, and dill oil. Everyone loves it of course. Jeff is making everyone behind because he isn‘t plating fast enough. Oops. He serves southern chicken, honey mustard, chorizo spoon bread. Mm. Alex: Pork tenderloin over potatoes with fresh vegetables, and red beet, tomato, and mushroom demi-glace. Someone says they could have gotten that at home.

Desserts! Radhika: citrus avocado mousse with chocolate wontons and chocolate milk with Kahlua. Padma reminds the other judges she has immunity, and Gail says you can tell because the mousse is just sweet guacamole. Didn’t Dale do an avocado dessert that they all swooned over? Daniel: ricotta pound cake with toasted pistachios and strawberry lemon coulis. This is well liked. Ariane: lemon meringue martini. I have to break the pattern for this one. On top is the meringue, which is toasted with a torch. Then is the lemon curd, and then on the bottom is a “cherry surprise” and some cookie crunch. It’s so sweet that Padma makes a very entertaining face and then spits it out. All I know is, if I order something with the word “martini” in it, there better be alcohol. Richard: banana bread slices with peanut putter and “bruleed” bananas in the middle, and grape gelato on the side. Interesting. Gail declares it an “after school snack” but I’m not sure if that’s bad. Carla: rustic apple tart with ginger peach tea, apple cider reduction, and cheddar cheese. Somewhere my sister is cringing about the cheese. Sadly the cheese is sad looking so no one seems to want to eat it. The tart itself is good, though. Tom also gets to taste everything while the chefs stare at him. Diner reactions range from “it was pretty good” to “horrible” to “I am angered that it sucked so bad”.

Tom joins the other judges to report on the kitchen and how many people don’t understand “New American”. Also it’s mentioned that last week the food was so much better than this week.
Tom tells everyone they did a good job setting up, but their food was crappy and they set New American cuisine back 20 years. He asks for Jamie, Hosea, Ariane, Fabio, Carla, and Jill. Carla made an excellent pastry crust, although Tom would have liked to see her work the cheese into the dish better. Maybe she could grate the cheese into the crust like on “Pushing Daisies”. Fabio is called on next, and he’s extremely defensive because he sells that dish all the time, the ingredients are so great, why is he here? See, that’s what happens when you call out the winners and losers together. Padma has to tell him they liked his dish. He recovers nicely. Gail loved the grilled lemon, but the stars were the “olives”. Jamie is also in the top 3 for her corn puree, which had texture and was flavored wonderfully. The winner, whose dish surprised all the judges, is Fabio. He celebrates in Italian. Now he’s tied with Stefan, so he’s pleased.

Time for the loser gong. Hosea wanted to make crab salad, something light and fresh, and he says he thought he was one of the winners. The diners thought it was too sweet and it wasn’t seasoned very well. All his ingredients should have worked together but they didn’t. Ariane says she does her dessert at her restaurant, and she did think it was a little sweet, and Padma lets her know she spit it out. Jill took her cool ostrich egg and made it into something boring and ordinary. Gail didn’t like the flavors, they didn’t go together. She demands to know how she’ll make it better next time. Jill flounders and finally says she got stuck on time and she’ll do better. It wasn’t the greatest answer.

Hosea was so confused that he was in the bottom 3, and the judges can’t get over it. Gail just didn’t like his dish, but she can‘t pinpoint the exact reason. Ariane’s was too sweet, and Padma spit it out, which is so bad. Gail feels that Jill’s defense of her food was the lamest response in the history of the show. Tom thinks she worked herself into a corner because she wanted to use ostrich eggs.

Tom tells the losers that they were supposed to stand out. Hosea was complacent, Ariane was just so-so which isn’t good enough, and Jill didn’t make her unique ingredient stand out enough. Jill is out. Oo. Jill’s annoyed that Ariane is still there when Padma spit out her food. Yeah, I would agree with that. Padma never spits food out. Jill says she never got to show off a dish she really loved. Once Jill leaves Ariane starts sobbing and saying she doesn’t deserve it, and Carla comforts her. Jill is going to “take some time” and figure out what she’s going to do, although she’ll always be cooking. That sounds almost like someone who is quitting being a chef because of the show. I didn’t think that ever happened.

Next time: making Thanksgiving dinner for the Foo Fighters. Awesome. Some jerry-rigged kitchen or something. And a team challenge, so expect some drama.
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TAR13, Recap Leg 8, 11/16/08

Welcome to Leg 8! Last time, on Our Regular Greeter Was Busy So We Hired The Groundskeeper teams pussy-footed from New Delhi to Old Delhi where teams were pelted with paint and water balloons. Kelly was annoyed, Ken and Tina were speed bumped, and Nick and Starr finished in first. AGAIN. That makes four. Andrew and Dan are clueless as usual, but Kelly and Christy are slower and are eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)


Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Nick/Starr, Team HSM! *jazz hands*, arrived at 10:14 AM
2nd – Toni/Dallas, Team Himbo, arrived at 10:24 AM
3rd – Terence/Sarah, Team Asshat, 10:43 AM
4th – Ken/Tina, Team Mom and Dad Evans, 11:48 AM
5th – Andrew/Dan, Team Superbad, 12:00 PM

Humayun’s Tomb, New Dehli, India

10:14 PM Nick/Starr (1st)
Clue: Fly 1000 miles to Almaty, Kazakhstan. Once there, take a taxi to Al El Agro Chicken Factory for your next clue. You have $403 for this leg of the race.

10:24 PM Toni/Dallas (2nd) – Dallas: “All I know about Kazakhstan is Borat.” Toni: “We won’t mention that.”

Starr and Dallas sneak away together to an internet café where they book tickets together while making out. Or something like that. I think Nick and Toni were there too. They find the early flight to Almaty arriving at 11:50 pm the next night.

10:43 PM Terence/Sarah (3rd)
11:48 PM Ken/Tina (4th)
12:00 AM Andrew/Dan (5th)

Teams arrive at the airport in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Terence/Sarah
4- Ken/Tina
5- Andrew/Dan

In our first airport scramble of the race, Team HSM and the Himbos booked their reserved flights, and Ken and Tina go to the right counter first to get their tickets on the same flight. As Terence and Sarah are booking the second flight, Andrew and Dan arrive and are shut out. So, the flights stacked like so:

First Flight, Lufthansa via Frankfurt, arrives 11:50 pm
1) Nick/Starr
2) Toni/Dallas
3) Ken/Tina

Second Flight, Aeroflot via Moscow, arrives 1:20 am
1) Terence/Sarah

Third Flight, Emirates via Dubai, arrives 7:00 am
1) Andrew/Dan

The Amazing Yellow, Orange and Green lines make their connections in order to fly to the former Kazakh capital. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Ken/Tina
2- Nick/Starr
3- Toni/Dallas
4- Terence/Sarah
5- Andrew/Dan

AND we hit our first HOH of the race, since the Chicken Factory does not open until 7:30 am. The Frat Boys just make it and there is a run for the cluebox, where teams grab the clue in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Terence/Sarah
3- Dan/Andrew
4- Toni/Dallas
5- Ken/Tina

And teams come to the seventh roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who’s feeling peckerish?

In this roadblock, one team member must search the chicken coop for one of seven golden eggs. Once a roadblocker finds one, they give it to the proctor for the next clue.

And then, behind the Roadblock envelope, we find the FAST FORWARD!

FAST FORWARD:

Recall (if you can, since we see these so rarely anymore) that a fast forward is a task that can be performed to allow one team to skip all remaining tasks and head directly to the pit stop. However, each team may only use their fast forward power once on the race, so they must decide when it is more advantageous to use it. In this, the second of TWO fast forwards on this race, teams must travel to a nearby restaurant and eat a local delicacy, which turns out to be sheep butt fat. Each team member must finish their meal to get their next clue and to skip all remaining tasks and travel directly to the Pit Stop.

Teams decide to go for the Fast Forward in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Terence/Sarah

So, both teams arrive at the restaurant and start eating. One minor problem: Terence is a vegetarian. So, when he finally realizes that STARR is finished way before him, Terence and Sarah give up and head back to the Roadblock. Anyway, Nick and Starr gets their Fast Forward and takes a taxi to the Pit Stop in Pan Filev Park at the Old Square.


In the meantime, the following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Andrew
2- Toni
3- Tina
4- Sarah

After much searching under chickens, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Toni/Dallas
2- Andrew/Dan
3- Ken/Tina
4- Terence/Sarah

Teams are then instructed to find the giant crane trucks and travel by truck to the Koktabe Arch at the base of the foothills of the Tienshan Mountains. Teams then follow the marked path to the Mongol Warriors and wait for their next clue.

The teams arrive at the Mongols to receive their clue by falcon in the following order:

1- Toni/Dallas
2- Ken/Tina
3- Andrew/Dan
4- Terence/Sarah

And now, we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Play Like Mad OR Act Like Fools

*Play Like Mad: Teams must travel by taxi to the Museum of Folk Musical Instruments and learn how to play two traditional Mong instruments. Once they learn a simple tune, the team must travel to a local park and play the song for the equivalent of $1.50 in tips and take it to their teacher for their next clue.
*Act Like Fools: Teams must travel by taxi to the Children’s Puppet Theater and don a two-person cow costume. They then walk in the cow costume to a nearby milk stand, drink the glass and find their clue on the bottom of the glass to go to Zelgany Bazaar. Teams must then find the butcher and present themselves to get their next clue.

(Paul: “I am not walking around Argentina in a cow costume.” Nicole: “Hell NO.” Toyouke: “Hee.” Kmanpat: “Oh wait, wrong show. All of these people will TOTALLY act like fools.”)

1-Toni/Dallas choose Act Like Fools
2-Ken/Tina choose Act Like Fools
3-Andrew/Dan choose Act Like Fools
4-Terence/Sarah choose Act Like Fools

And speaking of, Dallas missed the milk stand on the first pass, Ken and Tina return the cow suit before getting their clue and have to go back to get it, Andrew and Dan leave their tennis shoes at the costume shop, and Terence and Sarah have a great quote. Terence: “Good job my love.” Sarah: “Good job my cow. . . boyfriend.” I think his ox was broken.

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Toni/Dallas
2- Ken/Tina
3- Andrew/Dan
4- Terence/Sarah

Teams must now travel BY FOOT to Old Square in Pan Filev Park, the PIT STOP of the eighth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!


1- Nick/Starr – who each win a 180 horsepower waverunner. Nick: “You sound like a broken record Phil.”
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Ken/Tina
4- Andrew/Dan – who take a taxi to the Pit Stop and have to go back and walk it. And they STILL finish fourth.
5- Terence/Sarah

And Terence and Sarah are eliminated. But Terence couldn’t swallow the meat. At least Sarah trusted him. :P Asshat.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Nick/Starr
2nd – Toni/Dallas
3rd – Ken/Tina
4th – Andrew/Dan

Next week: Teams are off to Moscow, and Dan apparently has never learned how to march. Look, the Russians are laughing at him! And Nick and Starr have the unthinkable happen to them. . .they break a nail! No, actually, a bad cab driver, but still. Until next time. . .

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Top Chef 11/12/08--"Melting Pot" summary

Previously on Top Chef: we had a pretty good season with mostly non-offensive people. Except for Lisa. Stephanie, who was possibly the least offensive contestant ever, ended up with the title of “Top Chef” and also was the fan favorite. I liked her very much. This season is in New York. About time there was a season in New York. 17 chefs?!?!?! I’m exhausted already. Montage of this season, cooking, arguing, people spitting food out. Same prizes as usual: money, be in a magazine, work at the Food and Wine Expo. Kmanpat, ready? (Kmanpat: “Woo!”) Alrightly then. (click for more)

Fabio Viviani, 30, from Italy. An accent always helps, guys. He’s a chef/owner of a restaurant. As he’s talking I notice that Tom is now listed in the credits as “Co-host” and not “Judge” or even “Head Judge”. How interesting. Fabio has never been to New York before. Jamie Lauren, 30, executive chef. Her restaurant is named “Absinthe” after a possibly poisonous and hallucinogenic liquor. Fantastic. She likes that in her job, she can be creative and no one tells her what to do. Oh, this will go well. Eugene Villiatora, 32, personal chef/consultant. He also seems to be self-taught. Nice. I hope he goes far, I usually root for the self-taught people. Jeff Mcinnis, 30, chef de cuisine. He’s pretty but knows it. Sigh. Radhika Desai, 28, executive chef. She’s afraid everyone will pigeonhole her cuisine. I hope she is better than the Indian girl that was on “Next Food Network Star.” Lauren Hope, 24, chef tournant. That’s a chef that can work any station in a kitchen. I had to look that up; the TV just said “chef”. Some other people show up but they apparently will have their bios later. Ariane Duarte, 41, chef/owner of a place called “CulinAriane”. I can’t decide if I like that or am horrified. Daniel Gagnon, 26, chef du cuisine. He has odd facial hair. Like, it’s a close trimmed beard, but where the mustache meets the beard it’s shaved. Like a negative mustache. Lauren freaks out because the guy that just walked in was one of her classmates in school. Patrick Dunlea, 21, culinary student. He is much cuter on the TV; his photo on the website has this smirk that is unattractive. He also has very pink cheeks. Stefan Richter, 35, chef for his own catering company. Stefan is from Finland and he’s lived around Europe, so his accent is harder to identify. Everyone is on the ferry. Richard Sweeney, 27, executive sous chef? How does that work? He says the inner queen inside him wants desperately to know what Padma is wearing. Then he pretends it’s the queens back home that really want to know. Sure.

On Governor’s Island Padma and Tom wait to greet everyone. Leah Cohen, 27, sous chef, tells us her mom told her whatever you do, don’t cry because you will look like a little bitch. This means she will cry this episode. Padma tells them how important New York is to the culinary world. Now is the first Quickfire challenge. Some people have blank looks like they have never watched this show before. Perhaps they have never watched reality television before. Padma lets them know that 17 of them are here, but only 16 chef coats are waiting in the kitchen. The person who finishes last, goes home right now. Ouch. Lauren knows one of the coats is hers. We’ll see. There are 3 rounds: first is to peel 15 apples with a knife (oo, Iron Chef Sakai would kick ass). Alex Eusebio, 33, executive chef, says he hasn’t used a paring knife to do this since culinary school. Seriously? I don’t know that I’d be proud of that. Tom will double check everything, and the top 9 will have guaranteed spots. The bottom 8 will go to round 2. Hosea Rosenberg, 34, executive chef, is looking forward to this because he’s been winning culinary competitions for a number of years. (Kmanpat: “His name is Hosea? *singing* Come back to me with all your heart…“ Me: “You’re going to sing every time he does something, aren’t you.“ Kman: *nods vigorously*)

The challenge begins. Fabio says he’s not going home, even if he has to swallow the apple whole. (Kmanpat: “…”) Richard quickly slices his thumb. He talks about it, and how it was stupid, as he drips blood all over the cutting board and his “Beer Pong” T-shirt. What would the queens say about that? Stefan finishes first, and is relieved to not be bested by an apple. Carla Hall, 44, caterer. She wants to prove caterers are just as good as restaurant chefs. The 9 spots fill up, and Stefan gets immunity for finishing first. No, I don’t know who else was in the spots. There are seventeen chefs. When they get down to the end I’ll know who’s left.

Round two: brunoise 2 cups of apples. Tom, sadly, tells them that “brunoise” means “finely dice”. It means I don’t have to look it up but I wanted someone to not know what that meant. The first 4 to finish will be safe, but the bottom 4 will do round 3. The safe people watch everyone and feel bad. Patrick is worried and shouldn’t the culinary student be good at stuff like this? Jill Snyder, 28, executive chef, is starting to freak out. Tom makes her do some stuff over. Oops. She does finish, though. Leah (I think) says she will be super embarrassed if she gets sent home today.

Lauren, Pat, Radhika, and Leah are left for round 3. This round will involve creating a dish using their 2 cups of apples. They have 20 minutes. Radhika thinks this is only enough time to get your knives and spices in place. You are going to suffer. She’s going to make apple chutney and pork. Leah is going to make scallops. Lauren is making salad with bacon. Patrick? Also salad but with yogurt dressing. He says he would rather go for “perfect” as opposed to “fast”. Oh, you’re going to suffer too.

Lauran ended up with spinach salad, apples, blue cheese, orange, balsamic vinaigrette. Patrick: apple salad slaw, yogurt dressing, mint, honey, cinnamon. Radhika: pan seared pork, apple chutney, raisins, chili powder. Leah: seared scallops, dried apples, vinegar, and apple juice. Tom and Padma taste without commenting and then tell Leah and Radhika their dishes are good. Lauren admits she would like to see Patrick go instead of her, but maybe she might feel bad. After the commercials we find out that Patrick is going to stay. Lauren has to leave to get on the ferry. Patrick is about to cry. She’s pretty pissed, but oh well.

Padma brings out the knife block, before they even move in and unpack. Ha. Patrick pulls a knife that says “Chinatown”. These appear to be teams, or possibly pairs, with locations around the city. Hosea doesn’t even know what his knife phrase means. The chefs must create something inspired by the neighborhood they’ve selected. These are all ethnic neighborhoods. Interesting. Also, thank God I only have 8 dishes to talk about.

The apartments they’re staying in are awesome, as always. Everyone hangs out on the balcony, and when Patrick appears, Jamie hollers at him that “Team Rainbow is complete!” (Kmanpat: “It’s never complete without me! I get to be flaming purple!“) She beckons Patrick to sit over by herself and Richard. Jamie has a T-shirt with a rainbow on it, she says, and she’s totally going to wear it. Fabio and Stefan bond over being European and liking soccer. Hee. Stefan has a big ego and is getting into it with Daniel for some reason, about vinaigrettes. Daniel thinks this makes him look immature. Whatever. It’s not even an interesting argument.

In the morning everyone’s having coffee and brainstorming. Carla warns Ariane that people might be more annoying today than last night. Sadly there is no half-naked eye candy.

The pairs split up to head to their respective neighborhoods for shopping and ideas. Richard and Jamie head to Astoria (Greek) and Richard is still talking about Team Rainbow. They have $75 and 20 minutes to shop. Hosea and Carla are at Brighton Beach (Russian) where Hosea is a little lost. Carla is waiting to be led to this dish by her spirit guides. No, seriously. Stefan and Ariane are in Long Island City (Middle Eastern) and the whole place confuses Ariane. Jeff and Fabio, Ozone Park (Latin), and Jeff knows his Latin from living in Miami. Radhika and Jill are in Queens (Jamaican) which makes Jill think of fruits and rum. Leah and Melissa hit a deli in Little Italy. Leah’s worked in Italy, and we finally meet Melissa Harrison, 28, sous chef. She has no idea about Italian cuisine. Patrick and Daniel get to go to Chinatown. Patrick is taking a chance on something he’s never used before: black rice noodles. He’s babbling to Daniel, and then Daniel clarifies something that I got wrong before. They’re not cooking in pairs. Each pair is going head to head. UGH that means I have to talk about 16 dishes after all. Daniel thinks this is dumb. Alex and Eugene are in Little India, where Eugene is in new territory and Alex is amused by the spices.

Inside and outside the Top Chef Kitchen they’ve tiled the walls, and put a mosaic of the logo in the middle of the walls. It reminds me of a subway station. Everyone marvels at the kitchen. 2 hours to cook. Jeff thinks he has a lot of time, time to do some more garnishes. We have some info on what people are doing, but I’m going to wait until the end. Hosea notices that Carla has bought whole trout, not trout filets like him, and she’s got a ton of pin bones to take out. Leah feels pretty confident, it seems, since Melissa has not much experience. Eugene is just trying to finish. Ariane is running out of time to cook her farro. Patrick is trying to prove himself, but he’s not satisfied with his noodles. Jeff hasn’t budgeted his time, and he has 3 minutes to plate something with 19 steps. He’s running around all over the place worse than Hung. And he doesn’t get done.

Did you know Ted won’t be back this season? I know! But he was taping his new Food Network show, which sadly, sucks ass. I’m sorry but all the stories I saw on his new show, I’ve either seen on “Mythbusters” or “Good Eats”. The judges come in: Jean-George Vongerichten (he is a very famous chef), Tom (introduced as head judge), and Gail. Stefan and Ariane are up first, with Middle Eastern. Ariane: cous cous-crusted rack of lamb, farro “risotto” and dates with chickpeas. Stefan: lamp chops with tabouli salad and a beef onion skewer, with some fennel seed and cinnamon as spices. Ariane’s lamb is great but her farro is undercooked. Stefan’s is excellent so he wins. Richard and Jamie, Greek. Richard works in a comment on how cute Tom is. He’s married, you know. Richard: lamb slider with orzo feta pasta salad. Jamie: eggplant puree, seared sea bass with wild arugula salad and Greek honey and olives. The lamb is overcooked, sadly, so Jamie wins. Jill and Radhika, Jamaican. Jill: macadamia crusted plantain fritters with jerk spiced scallops. Radhika: jerk rubbed halibut on three bean rice with mango salad. The fish and rice are too close in texture. The scallops are a little overcooked but Jill’s dish is declared better. Fabio and Jeff, Latin. Fabio: sous vide pork chop with mango and jalapeno demi-glace and mushroom and avocado salad. Jeff: coffee seared tenderloin, smoked plantain with black beans and rice. Fabio needs more salt, and his knife work is covered by other garnishes. Tom thinks the beans and rice weren’t very good, but he is outvoted and Jeff wins. Hosea and Carla, Russian. Hosea: smoked salmon with caviar and crème fraiche, smoked trout with apple chutney, and smoked turbo. Carla: smoked trout and wild salmon cake on a potato latke, with Russian sour cream and caviar. Her salad doesn’t have enough sauce, but Hosea nailed Russian cuisine and was “eloquent” so he wins. Leah and Melissa, Italian. Leah: farro risotto with seared red snapper and mushrooms. Melissa: seared rib eye, arugula salad, fried mushrooms and tomato sauce. Melissa needs salt and pepper, so Leah wins. Daniel and Patrick, Chinese. Daniel: ginger poached chicken salad with bok choy, shitake mushrooms, and fried wontons. And “honey sriracha scallion foam”. Patrick: seared salmon, bok choy, black rice noodles. Sadly the noodles are gummy and his flavors are one-note. Daniel’s salad is kind of soggy and they are bored with Chinese chicken salad. Daniel wins, barely. Alex and Eugene, Indian. Alex: grilled lamb chops, spicy ragout and basmati rice. Eugene: malasa rubbed lamb, basmati rice and tzatziki. Alex’s flavors aren’t too hot or over the top. However, Eugene, despite never having made Indian food before, has made what Padma labels curds and rice, one of the most classic dishes from South India. So he wins. Wow. Tom thinks that there was no one dish that was so horrible that it stuck out. But Chinatown stuck out as missing the mark. The judges go through pretty much everyone bad, but it‘s all the same things they just said.

In the Stew Room everyone sits in a semicircle talking about how they freaked out up there. Also how the judges apparently like things salty. Padma appears to collect Stefan, Eugene, and Leah, but also Patrick and Ariane from the losing group. Ariane says the last thing she wants is to go first. Except that Lauren already did. Patrick thinks he has more to overcome. All 5 of them get to go in at once.

Winners first. Leah captured “new” Italian cooking, and focused. Stefan’s dish had a lot going on, but it all worked together. Everything blended and complemented each other. Eugene had a delicious dish and hit Indian cuisine head on. Padma is all, no pressure, but 3 out of the 4 seasons the winner of the first challenge is the winner of the whole competition. (The exception would be Hung, if you were wondering.) Stefan wins. He is pleased, of course, and thinks it would be great if a European won “Top Chef” because it’s been all Americans so far. Well that would be because it’s AN AMERICAN SHOW. Duh. The winners get to leave Patrick and Ariane to the judges.

Ariane went shopping and looked for the things there were the most of, thinking those were popular. They nail her again about the farro being undercooked. Patrick’s dish was one-note and wasn’t really original. They wanted to see more “Chinatown” and more inspiration in his dish. Tom calls it “cliché” but yet “sanitized”. Tom tells them both to get out of their comfort zone and learn some new things. He asks Ariane what if someone asks you for a Middle Eastern meal, and she laughs that she has books to look at. Cut to Tom looking disgusted. Look, Tom, I don’t go to an Italian chef and ask them for Japanese food, OK? He gets on his high horse and says they don’t learn to cook from books. Whatever. Both Ariane and Patrick beg to stay and do better. They go back to the Stew Room and tell everyone that they don’t know who won. Everyone acts shocked, which…they always do that.

Patrick is a culinary student, and he lacks experience. Gail thinks he can’t handle doing things out of the box, on the fly. Ariane has 20 years of experience and should have known better. She had decent ingredients, but made a mistake on basic cooking techniques. Well that was a nice short deliberation.

Ariane’s technique was pretty poor, and she won’t win that way. Patrick lacks inspiration and he could have taken it further. Patrick is out. (Kmanpat: “Aww! He was cute.”) He announces this to everyone by telling Stefan he’ll have to make his own coffee tomorrow. He’s not very fazed since he’s just going to go back to culinary school and graduate.

This season: fire, plenty of arguing and arrogance, Martha Stewart! That almost makes up for seeing Rocco, again, no one wants you.
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TAR13, Recap Leg 7, 11/9/08

Welcome to Leg 7! Last time, on You Have Fire on Your Head; That’s INSANE!, teams bounded from Cambodia to TAR’s favorite destination: India. Starr takes a shining to Dallas, and vice versa, apparently. The Superbads finish the Roadblock first, shockingly enough, and then self-implode on the detour. Nick and Starr finish first for the third time in the race, but Ken and Tina finish last and are non-eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)


Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Nick/Starr, Team HSM! *jazz hands*, arrived at 8:55 PM
2nd – Kelly/Christy, Team Missing Bra, 9:02 PM
3rd – Toni/Dallas, Team Himbo, arrived at 9:10 PM
4th – Terence/Sarah, Team Asshat, 9:31 PM
5th – Andrew/Dan, Team Superbad, 9:44 PM
6th – Ken/Tina, Team Mom and Dad Evans, 9:51 PM

Baha’i House, New Dehli, India

8:55 AM Nick/Starr (1st)
Clue: Take a taxi to Deshbandhu Apartments and search for Gate 4 in order to enter the complex central park for your next clue. You have $21 for this leg of the race.

9:02 AM Kelly/Christy (2nd)
9:10 AM Toni/Dallas (3rd)
9:31 AM Terence/Sarah (4th)
9:44 AM Andrew/Dan (5th) – Kelly: “I’d make out with Andrew!” Christy: “Well, then I’d get Dan, but he’d start pacing when he got done kissing!”
9:51 AM Ken/Tina (6th)

Teams find taxis waiting for them outside of Baha’i House and take them to arrive at Deshbandhu Apartments in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Kelly/Christy – who let their taxi go, because they don’t like him. Bad move.
4- Terence/Sarah
5- Andrew/Dan
6- Ken/Tina

And teams come to the sixth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who’s ready for a colorful experience?

In this roadblock, one team member must participate in an Indian festival called Holi that involves tossing paint at the participants. The Roadblocker must run through a barrage of people to one of three ladders and climb the ladders to search through a bunch of “Try Again” envelopes to find one of six that says “The Amazing Race” to get their next clue.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Starr
2- Dallas
3- Kelly – who misreads the clue (Shocking) and keeps bring envelope after envelope to Christy, and getting very upset in the process.
4- Terence – Terence: “Who’s my girl?” Sarah: “You are! No, wait, I am!”
5- Dan
6- Ken

After much yelling, screeching, painting and craziness, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Terence/Sarah
4- Andrew/Dan
5- Kelly/Christy
6- Ken/Tina – and Kenny is topless while Tina has bright green hair.

Teams are then instructed to navigate the Indian streets and travel to Old Dehli, and the Charity Birds Hospital, located on the grounds of a Jain temple, where they must remove socks and shoes. Once there, teams should search the cages and find the one that has their next clue.

However, once they arrive, Ken and Tina find the Speed Bump.

SPEED BUMP:

A speed bump is a task that must be performed by the last place team on a non-elimination leg. Once they complete this task, they may return to the place where the speed bump occurred and continue the leg. In this, the first of two speed bumps on this race, teams must travel to Gurudwara Sisganj Sahib Temple and do community service in India by serving Holy Water to all of the Sikhs on the temple grounds. Once all of their thirsts have been satisfied, they may get their next clue.

Teams complete the Speed Bump in the following order:

1- Ken/Tina

So, Ken and Tina go to the temple. They serve the water fairly quickly, and Tina even learns some Hindi! They then complete the task, and get into a taxi (Which they get out of in order to clear traffic) to get their next clue.

Now, if a team didn’t have to do the Speed Bump, teams went directly to Charity Birds Hospital and arrived in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Terence/Sarah
4- Andrew/Dan
5- Ken/Tina
6- Kelly/Christy

And now, we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Bleary Eyed OR Teary Eyed

I must interject here that this has got to be one of the best (and most random) task descriptions EVER. No, really, ever.

*Bleary Eyed: Teams must travel to Nai Sarak and find the marked pole on the street corner. Once their, they must follow the power lines down the street and find the number tags on the power lines amongst all of the advertisements and signs on the streets. Once at the end of the street, teams find the man with the sewing machine, who checks their numbers. If they get the numbers right, he will send them across the street to New India Stationers to plug in a Musical and light-up Ganesh statue to get their next clue.
*Teary Eyed: Teams must travel to the spice market and find Ram Bhandar to pick up 2 40 pound bags of chiles. Teams then carry the chiles a quarter mile to Shwan Kumar and Sons to grind the peppers with a mortar and pestle to the line in the bowl. Once complete, the grocer will give them their next clue.

1-Nick/Starr choose Bleary Eyed
2-Toni/Dallas choose Bleary Eyed
3-Terence/Sarah choose Teary Eyed
4-Andrew/Dan choose Bleary Eyed
5-Kelly/Christy choose Bleary Eyed
6-Ken/Tina choose Bleary Eyed

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Toni/Dallas
2- Nick/Starr
3- Terence/Sarah
4- Ken/Tina
5- Andrew/Dan
6- Kelly/Christy – Kelly: “Please, God, help us not be sixth.” God: “Look, if you had done ANYTHING right this leg, I might actually be listening. No, no, wait, I’m in the tub. See ya, have fun, oh, and do you want to know something? I pushed your bra over the ledge, yeah, that’s right, I did it, me GOD. So whatever, have fun. WOO!”

Teams must now take a taxi to Humayuns Tomb and find the final resting place of Isa Khan, the PIT STOP of the seventh leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

When we arrive, the greeter seems to be busy. . . watering the grounds. Wow, we go from flaming headgear to hired help? That’s a step down.

1- Nick/Starr – who win a trip for two to Kauai. That makes four folks; Colin and Christie, watch out!
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Terence/Sarah
4- Ken/Tina
5- Andrew/Dan
6- Kelly/Christy

And Kelly and Christy are eliminated. Big loss, I’m sure. But great placing for an all female team!

ORDER NOW:
1st – Nick/Starr
2nd – Toni/Dallas
3rd – Terence/Sarah
4th – Ken/Tina
5th – Andrew/Dan

Next week: KAZAKHSTAN! And it looks like a Fast Forward, and all five teams going for it?!?!? That hasn’t happened since we went to less than -1 Fast Forwards on a race. Not that I’m bitter. Oh, and Andrew and Dan break down, and maybe, just maybe GO AWAY. Until next time. . .

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Top Design 11/5/08--"Finale pt. 2" summary

Previously on Top Design: the final 4 designed one room, with the hopes that they would be allowed to continue and design the rest of the house. Preston and Ondine did their usual good jobs, with Ondine being slightly better. Nathan tried to please the judges, which backfired, but he was still better than Eddie, who was still “old” and also irritated Jeff Lewis for some reason. As a bonus for the episode we got to watch Nathan and Eddie get drunk and paw each other, and do a drunken interview where they pretended to blow up their muscles and it was kind of disturbing. We also got some shots of the designers’ actual houses. Preston = looks like no one actually lives there. Nathan = very Nathan and funky. Ondine = also looks like her and like people live there, and is probably the one I would live in. (Kmanpat: “Whatever, I’m living in Nathan’s house. With Nathan.”) Who will win…tonight? (click for more)

First we get a nice montage of our final three’s wonderful spaces and also the disasters from some other people. Season long montage! Finally it is morning in the loft. Nathan says that like all of us, he thought he was going home last episode. As he puts his shirt on (Kmanpat: “Aww!”) he says how he is going to fight back to the top. Preston reminds us that he didn’t get plastered and stupid with Eddie and Nathan because there’s a history of addiction in his family. This is accompanied by pictures of Preston as a child. I especially like the one where he’s sitting on a plastic tub, surrounded by paint-splattered walls and paint cans. Oh man. Ondine lets us know they have $60,000 to spend on furniture today. Nice. She’s very excited for this opportunity. Ondine lived the 80’s to the fullest, according to her pictures. Where are Nathan’s pictures? Anyways, the 80’s look was something she designed herself. That makes them cooler.

Wallpaper! That’s about how long that shopping trip lasts. Why don’t they get lots of time to design? Didn’t the two finalists last season get months to plan? Everyone discusses the concept of their houses. Nathan‘s concept is “hip, young, good looking art collector‘s house“, Preston is doing “sleek and modern with a traditional twist” , and Ondine is doing “Danish modern chic.” None of those seem like anything more than buzz words. There’s a very cute shot of everyone sleeping in the car. Hee.

The next day, everyone meets India at the houses. They have a little more than 2 days. All the rooms have been painted and wallpapered, and everyone gets 2 carpenters and 1 seamstress. But of course, they might need more help. So Natalie, Andrea, and Eddie pop out of one of the houses. Eddie is bitchy as usual, because of course he just got eliminated. Nathan gets Natalie, Preston picks Eddie (oo, he’s pissed), and Ondine gets Andrea. Preston says he’s pleased. Eddie demonstrates why they should have passed him over by saying if Preston asks him for coffee he’ll tell him to go f*** himself. Eddie: YOU ARE NOT FUNNY. Actually it’s also entertaining that Andrea, who chose to go home, is paired with Ondine, the person she saved.

One of Ondine’s rooms has bright yellow stripes. Andrea complains that she totally could have done this challenge and rocked it. Eddie views Preston’s rooms as hotel rooms. Whatever. He complains about the heat and then pretends that he respects Preston’s designs. Natalie loves Nathan’s room that almost got him eliminated. NOW we get the pictures of Nathan, all blond and precious. And with freckles. Ondine has a 12’ by 12’ headboard of mirrored tiles for her carpenters to make. Nice. She worries if they can finish. Preston rearranges his rooms, because he’s changing the room he made into a dining room. Nathan makes 7 people move this giant ass chest/sarcophagus into his house. Up the stairs. When he gets it in there, he discovers that it’s too big. Oh, Nathan. You could have avoided that. He wants to move it or possibly cut it in half, but he can’t bear to move it again after all that.

Everyone gets $5000 to shop at one “dream” store. I thought there’d be more shopping shots. Back at the houses the assistants are running the show. Eddie is wandering around, and Natalie says she’s doing more than Eddie but that’s because Preston wouldn’t give Eddie anything to do. Hee. Preston calls him and tells him to do some painting, and move some stuff, and basically refutes what Natalie just said. Eddie, because he is mature, rolls his eyes and makes faces, and eventually ditches the phone on the staircase and leaves. Asshat. Do you think Martha approves of that? What if I hired you to design something? Would I have to worry about you rolling your eyes and ignoring me all the time? I hope you get fired for that.

As the designers return, Nathan lets us know they have 2 ½ more days. Todd time! He loves Preston’s wallpaper in the bedroom, which is a floral dark brown that I feel we’ve seen before. Cut to a shot of Nathan’s house, with the same wallpaper. Somewhere else though. Ondine’s got a lot of dark furniture. Todd only has praise for everyone, of course.

Ondine goes to check on her furniture, which hasn’t arrived, and the construction stuff is going slowly. So she’s freaking out. But this doesn’t prevent the designers and their helpers from heading for the pool after work. Hee. Nathan lets us know he “got to show off [his] body”. (Kmanpat: *drool*) He’s made lifelong friends. Lord, I hope not with Eddie. Preston sits in a deck chair while everyone else is in the hot tub, to get some alone time. It’s hard to get alone time when everyone is right there.

Day 2! This is the last full day. Nathan is taping and painting a console table, with the random stripes. Preston looks for shortcuts. Ondine ventures over to the carpenters and offers to speed things up. Nathan has made a chandelier out of paper plates and chicken wire. It looks like paper plates and chicken wire, but I like the shape of it. Ondine’s carpenter is like, I can only do one thing at a time, and refuses to answer her question about whether everything will be done.

The morning of the last day brings everyone talking about how they want to win and their dreams of what they’ll do when they win. 2 hours to work today, which isn’t that much time. Ondine is still freaking out. It’s a theme. Her carpenter promised her that the kid’s bed would be done when she showed up that morning, but it’s not. She’s painting valences. Nathan makes some art by pouring paint on a canvas. Ondine’s headboard with mirrors looks awesome. Finally everyone is finished. I hope this means Eddie will go away. However, Andrea gets in the more annoying comment by saying if Ondine wins she should take Andrea out for dinner and buy her an outfit. Yeah.

Ondine’s house is up first. Sadly Kelly’s dress is almost normal, although she‘s wearing a braid wrapped around her head with a big metallic flower. Her house looks comfortable. Downstairs is a sitting room in camel and dark woods, and upstairs the living room has dark wallpaper in a fan pattern and bright pink couches. It looks really cool. Shiny wall sculpture! The dining room goes along, with black and white. Master bedroom has the giant headboard with mirrors, turquoise walls with gold brocade looking wallpaper and coordinating drapes. The girl’s room is bright yellow and pink, with a bed recessed into the wall under the window. With curtains. It’s so cute! Ondine acknowledges she asked her carpenter to do a lot. Her room she did last week is the same except she has black drapes and different artwork. I like her house a lot. It looks really cool but also like you could flop on the sofa and put your drink on the table.

Preston gets the second spot. The bottom sitting room is gray and warm woods, and upstairs the “lounge” is also warm browns. He calls it a “Ralph Lauren” type feel. It’s very magazine cover. Jonathan tells him he could have used a splash of color, since everything is dark brown. He thinks that the flowers (small purple heather-type flowers) and the artwork (rusts and browns) and the drapes downstairs (green but not bright) are enough color. The room he did last week he kept the wall the same, but the whole rest of the room is different. All the furniture is brown and black and heavy in the new dining room. The master bedroom is pretty dark, with brown wallpaper. He keeps claiming his color is the green which I think is faded and not very bright. Not to serve as a pop of color. The guest room has molding and a couch with some bright cushions. The office is full of all the color that is lacking in the rest of the house. Lots of artwork, the orange bench from last week, it’s cool. He says that his house is playful and works for any client.

Nathan has a foyer instead of a sitting room. There’s a wardrobe and a big table with some artwork on it. Upstairs is his console table and a square dining table. The artwork with the poured paint is horizontal which I like, but the paper plate chandelier still looks cheap. The family room is cramped because of that giant chest thing. The sofa looks cozy. Jonathan wishes that he had used the chest as a table at least, instead of having it hulking in the corner. Nathan didn’t much change his master bedroom, and Jonathan thinks he should have. Ouch. The child’s bedroom is the coolest bedroom, although it’s very neat and clean. Not as much color as Ondine’s. The office is turquoise and has the same wallpaper as Preston’s bedroom. Lots of pictures, and a sofa and a big desk. A big foofy mirror above the desk.

India reminds everyone of the prizes, when they gather for judging. Nathan is wearing a huge necklace that says something, but I can’t read it. Jonathan had expected more lows from Nathan, but he liked what he saw. He’s chic and intellectual and surprising. Nathan’s least favorite piece is that giant chest. He tells them he didn’t take it back out of the room because of how much it took to get in, and Margaret asks if it wasn’t worth $100,000. They loved the art, especially the dining room pieces. Jonathan helps me out by asking what the necklace says, which is “another friend” in Russian. Aww. Ondine’s house was the most pulled together work they’ve seen from her. Kelly wishes there were fewer accessories. Ondine badmouths her carpenter, even though she asked him for a lot. She implies that she didn’t know he couldn’t do anything. Preston’s guest room with the molding was great, but the dining room was like a set he bought all at one store, which is bad I guess. But he fixed the bed by putting an upholstered piece in the headboard.

The judges talk alone. Everyone did an incredible job. Jonathan is “wildly conflicted”. Ondine had some big ideas that worked (headboard and child’s room) and some things didn’t work (the conflict with her carpenters). They’d like to see her let herself go a little more. Basically, they want to see the child’s room, all through the house. Backstage Ondine is still complaining about her carpenter. Nathan is bold and individual and creative, but his best room is the foyer, a room that is basically useless. Kelly disagrees, but they all agree that the wallpaper along the stairs is crappy. They love the photos in the office. Preston’s house was polished, but boring. Jonathan says it needs more “kapow”. Kelly makes faces and Margaret tells her to shush because the house can be polished but not so boring. Each designer has their clients that would hire them over the other two.

Commercials. Everyone thinks Preston should win. Silly people. Don‘t bore Nina! Or Margaret, I guess.

Everyone should be proud of themselves, but there can be only one. Nathan’s grown and is versatile, and can succeed after failure. Ondine’s progress has come from her listening to the judges, and she needs to be herself all the time. Preston has come a long way from his crappy flower arranging, and he knows exactly who he is and what his design style is. And the winner is…Nathan! Wow, I thought Ondine was going to win. Not that I’m complaining. Preston is going to have the confidence to think outside the box. Ondine knows there’s plenty of room for everyone to be successful. Nathan’s so pleased, and it hasn’t kicked in yet because he feels like he has another challenge coming up. Hee.

Thanks for reading, you guys! I’ll be back next week with “Top Chef”!
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TAR13, Recap Leg 6, 11/2/08

Welcome to Leg 6! Last time, on It’s Like Pulling Down Your Zipper and Letting It Flow, teams jumped from Auckland to Siem Reap, Cambodia, where the Frats didn’t let the gas flow at all. Nick lied to get ahead, Tina got lost and frustrated, and all the craziness ended in Aja and Ty being eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Nick/Starr, Team HSM! *jazz hands*, arrived at 11:22 AM
2nd – Toni/Dallas, Team Himbo, arrived at 11:34 AM
3rd – Ken/Tina, Team Mom and Dad Evans, 11:53 AM
4th – Kelly/Christy, Team Missing Bra, 11:59 AM
*5th – Terence/Sarah, Team Asshat, 12:05 PM
6th – Andrew/Dan, Team Superbad, 12:29 PM

*Actually, Terence and Sarah came in third, but because of their speeding ticket in New Zealand, they incurred a 30 minute penalty and wound up starting in fifth. Just letting you know.

Bayon Temple, Siem Reap, Cambodia

11:22 PM Nick/Starr (1st)
Clue: Fly 2000 miles to Dehli, India! Once there, travel by taxi to San Raport Auto Complex and find your clue at Moonlight Motors. You have $110 for this leg of the race.
Ken: “I feel like a kid again! This old man and old woman aren’t so old!” Tina: “Speak for yourself.” (Toyouke: “Hee.”)

11:34 PM Toni/Dallas (2nd)
11:53 PM Ken/Tina (3rd)
11:59 PM Kelly/Christy (4th)
12:05 AM Terence/Sarah (5th)
12:29 AM Andrew/Dan (6th)

Teams arrive at TourEx Travel Agency to get their tickets in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Toni/Dallas – where Dallas proceeds to flirt with Starr in an effort to get closer to her brother. Just saying.
3- Ken/Tina
4- Kelly/Christy
5- Terence/Sarah
6- Andrew/Dan

Teams choose flights to India. All teams end up on the same Bangkok Airways flight to Dehli that arrives at 4:15 PM.

So, teams arrive in Dehli and get their taxis in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Ken/Tina
3- Toni/Dallas
4- Andrew/Dan
5- Kelly/Christy – who tried to use silly exits from the airport.
6- Terence/Sarah

Teams finally get to Moonlight Motors in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Andrew/Dan
3- Toni/Dallas
4- Kelly/Christy
5- Terence/Sarah
6- Ken/Tina

And teams come to the fifth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who’s got an artistic flair?

In this roadblock, one team member must help India “go green” by painting one of their new natural gas powered rickshaws in a new color. Team members must cover up all existing yellow parts and then paint the old black part green to get their next clue.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Starr
2- Andrew
3- Toni
4- Kelly
5- Sarah
6- Ken

After much yelling, screeching, painting and craziness, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Andrew/Dan
2- Nick/Starr
3- Toni/Dallas
4- Ken/Tina
5- Kelly/Christy
6- Terence/Sarah

Teams are then instructed to navigate the Indian streets and travel to the Ambassador Hotel. Once there, teams should find the garden and the Indian Doorman waiting their with their next clue. This occurs in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Toni/Dallas
3- Andrew/Dan
4- Kelly/Christy
5- Terence/Sarah
6- Ken/Tina

And now, we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Launder Money OR Launder Clothes
*Launder Money: Teams must travel to a nearby banquet hall and create a wedding necklace that is made up of 10 rupee notes totaling 780. Once the necklace is assembled, teams must deliver it to a waiting bride and groom to receive their next clue.
*Launder Clothes: Teams must travel to the laundry shop where they will choose an ironing station and use a charcoal press iron to iron 20 clothes. Once completed, the laundress will hand them their next clue.
1-Nick/Starr choose Launder Clothes – and use their own gloves, FYI.
2-Kelly/Christy choose Launder Clothes
3-Toni/Dallas choose Launder Clothes
4-Andrew/Dan choose Launder Clothes – and we discover that Frat Boys do NOT launder clothes.
5-Terence/Sarah choose Launder Money
6-Ken/Tina choose Launder Money

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Nick/Starr
2- Kelly/Christy
3- Toni/Dallas
4- Terence/Sarah
5- Ken/Tina
6- Andrew/Dan

Teams must now take a taxi to Baha’I House, the PIT STOP of the sixth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Nick/Starr – who win an electric car each in honor of going green this leg.
2- Kelly/Christy
3- Toni/Dallas
4- Terence/Sarah
5- Andrew/Dan
6- Ken/Tina

And Ken and Tina finish last?!?!? OK. . . but this is the first of two non-elimination legs, and they are still in the race, but have to deal with the speed bump next episode.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Nick/Starr
2nd – Kelly/Christy
3rd – Toni/Dallas
4th – Terence/Sarah
5th – Andrew/Dan
6th – Ken/Tina

Next week: An Indian festival that looks strangely like Diwali. Tina and Kelly flip out. And I’m sure there’s other drama involving Terence, Bra-gate, and Dallas flirting with Starr in order to get closer to Nick. Until next time. . .

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