Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Project Runway 8/13/08--"Welcome to the Jungle" summary

Previously on Project Runway: Bravo thought it would be great if we had another Post Office challenge, and then they remembered how awesome the figure skating challenge was. “Hey, why don’t we combine them! It’ll be doubly awesome!” So the designers were asked to design outfits for the Olympic opening ceremonies. Not for the men, though, and not to actually be worn in the Olympics. That was just as well because there was an awful lot of crappy nonsense and costumes. Korto won with a light all white outfit, which was pretty cool. Terri and Joe also followed the challenge. Daniel made a cocktail dress (for someone whose sport is drinking, a sport which I support) but Jennifer’s skirt/cardigan combo was enough to send her home. She’s been making the interview rounds and explaining that her design philosophy was not “surrealism meets cute” but that she had two “characters” in her line. Why she didn’t make two separate lines, who knows. Also she says that Tim liked her outfit. (click for more)

Korto is very happy to have immunity so she can leave drama to everyone else. Daniel says he won’t be on the bottom again. Snerk. Blayne almost walks out of the house without shutting the door.

Heidi lets Korto choose models but she keeps her model. Jennifer’s model is about to cry. Heidi (who is in a shiny General Zod look today) says that they have to design for a “high powered and glamorous professional woman”. This to Blayne says Hillary Clinton. He can’t win with a neon pantsuit, although I would love to see that. (Kmanpat: “Pantsuits are not glamorous.”)

Everyone goes back to the workroom to brainstorm. Someone says Heidi, which is probably a good guess, also Nancy Grace (ugh) and Joan Rivers (uh, not glamorous). Stella would love Sharon Osbourne, which would be cool. Tim appears and calls in Brooke Shields. They try to make it all dramatic reveal, but we all already knew this since last week. Suede is old enough to remember her as a Calvin Klein model. No one interviews that they don’t know who she is, thank God. Their challenge is to design a look for her character on “Lipstick Jungle”, which is a show I’ve never seen so I don’t know if it is any good or not. It’s a day to night look, for a high powered executive/mom, except that she’s got some event in the evening so there won’t be any mom looks. Oh, how I wish Laura were here. She’d nail this one. Tim has dossiers for everyone that have pictures from last season, so they can get a sense of how they usually dress the character. Oh, and Tim has one last bombshell: everyone has to partner up! Haha! Kenley is worried because some people are clueless. Everyone gets 30 minutes to sketch and then pitch ideas to Brooke. So it’s basically like the Miss America challenge, or any other challenge where pitching the look becomes important, so later when it doesn’t turn out right the judges can come down on them for failing to execute their design.

Jerell knows he has to really fit the challenge after last week’s hat. Keith is making adjustable sleeves, I think. Kelli is equating bohemian (which is how Brooke described her character) with leopard print. Daniel says he’s extremely talented and then discusses his background. Not always a good sign, editing-wise.

Suede actually says “I” as he’s talking. He’s so much less annoying. Kelli still has leopard. Kenley has a boat neck. Blayne has walking shorts. Interesting. Keith says layered fringe is his thing. He talks about her legs, eh. Stella has a corset, for work. We’re not really seeing a lot of people’s designs, so much as getting sound bites of people talking. They seem to have it together for the most part. No Daniel Franco awkward flirting.

Back in the workroom Brooke says that she will wear the winning outfit on “Lipstick Jungle”. But the big question is: how is anyone going to know that’s your outfit? Keith is the first one picked, so he’s pleased. The rest of the chosen are Korto, Jerell, Kelli (except she warns her about the leopard), Terri, and Blayne. She’s kind of scared of Blayne, but as long as he’s not too shocking it’ll be fine.

Blayne gets to pick his partner first, and he picks Leanne, who quietly freaks out. Keith takes Kenley. He says she’s headstrong, but “as long as I can get her to shut her mouth, and stick to sewing, we’ll be good.” Wow. I know you’re hot and all, but now I have lost interest. Terri picks Suede, with no comment. Korto picks Joe. Kelli picks Daniel, wincing the whole time. She says that Stella is her friend, but if she can’t do the construction then she’d have to go home. This is assuming that the judges completely bail on what they usually do which is to get rid of the team leader. She thinks Daniel is mad because he was almost last. Jerell is quite confident as he says he’s got leather in his outfit anyway, so he needs Stella’s skill set. That’s pretty cool.

Each team gets $150 and 30 minutes to shop. Kenley tells Keith she hates his fabrics and goes in search of things she likes. Keith is insulted. Tim looks at some fabric Kenley feels is the best and he tells them to keep looking. Heh, take that. Daniel thinks all of Kelli’s fabric is cheap, and his is high end. He really doesn’t get that he’s not in charge. Also when Kelli asks his opinion he’s like, oh, it’s pretty. Can’t bitch if you’re not going to speak up about it. Although I am noticing that Kenley hasn’t been allowed to explain her conflict with Keith.

They only have until midnight tonight. Only one day? 10 hours? Jerell and Stella quickly divvy up the work. He’s so excited that he could have Brooke Shields in his portfolio. Tim appears for just long enough to tell them there’s no immunity this week. Kenley goes to the sewing room, where Daniel is also sewing…something. She says that Keith’s design isn’t her style at all and she doesn’t particularly like it, because it’s not structured, like that’s evil. Kelli chafes at having to delegate. She raised herself, so she’s used to fending for herself. I kind of get that, wanting to do everything yourself so you know it’s right. Especially knowing Daniel hates whatever she’s doing. Suede hesitates to cut fabric, because he’s afraid they don’t have enough. He at least explains this to Terri, who finds a solution and tells him to cut it. He’s “uncomfortable” cutting the fabric, sewing the fabric, whatever. He looks like he might cry, to be honest. Terri tells him to work and then delivers this fantastic quote: “I don’t know what he’s packin’, balls or va-jay-jay, but he needs to work that out, cause, I ain’t got no babies, ain’t nobody suckin’ on my t***ies, so please, man up.” OK, so that’s also offensive, like Keith, but unlike Keith, that was funny. Blayne works on his design and talks about growing up in Yakama, Washington, and blames his craziness on his parents. Korto has very orange fabric. Kenley explains to Keith that his print is “South Beach cheesy” and that he needs to make a clean silhouette. I don’t think Keith’s style is “clean silhouette”, I think it’s “poofy”. Although, the print does remind me of Uli. She says that Keith knows she’s opinionated and he needs it. Except that she’s not in charge. Jerell is very confident. Stella pounds things.

Tim time! And he’s bringing models! People actually seem to have clothes to put on their models. Kelli and Daniel are futzing, because Daniel messed up the skirt. Or at least Kelli says he made the skirt with some rouching and some not, and the zipper is jacked up, or something. He insists it just needs adjustment. Kelli wants to cut something new, because she knows she’s the leader and she’s in danger. Daniel claims not to mind redoing it because it’s her design.

I guess Tim doesn’t have any opinions right now because we go back to work without any comments from him. Suede brings the top to Terri, the one he didn’t want to cut, and she tells him the back is all jacked up. Kenley whispers to Daniel that they’re arguing. Get back to work, Ms. Bossypants. Suede freaks out so much he forgets to refer to himself in the third person. He goes to fix it, bitching to the sewing room about it, and Kenley tells him to get ready to defend himself. I don’t like her today. I was indifferent before, and now I don’t like her.

Now it’s really Tim time. Blayne’s shorts look too sporty, but then he’s got a great top. So he needs to do something to the shorts. Jerell and Stella have a lot done, and Tim loves the palette. He also thinks it really looks like a collaboration. That happens so rarely. Kelli shows Tim how her outfit is black but the inside is lined with leopard print. I hate to say it, but Daniel was right. It does look cheap, and the first thing it reminds me of is the wrestling challenge. Tim is dubious. Terri is concerned, and Suede admits that they work differently, but their outfit works and he loves the neckline. Terri demands a hug because she feels so much better now. Tim loves the new fabric Keith has, and as soon as he says that Kenley pipes up that it’s really pretty. Tim eases my anger, though, by bringing over the ugly floral print Kenley loved so much and making faces about how it would have sucked. Kenley gets all defensive and Keith points this out to her, so as to rub it in more. Hee. Korto has a really loose orange top, and a strapless sheath underneath for night. The jacket is poofy, and Joe admits this to Tim, that it probably should be more fitted. He trails off as Korto jumps on him and says he never said this before. He does come up with a reasonable explanation in that it’s her design so he was letting her do whatever. Korto one-ups him by reminding Joe that she has immunity so if their design sucks, he’s the one who will go home, so he should be speaking up. I can’t believe he never said anything before; usually those people are loud about how they are getting screwed. Korto somehow segues into an example of pulling someone out from the street if there’s a bus coming and they don’t see it.

As Tim leaves Korto wanders out of the room. Joe is clueless (well, he IS the straight one) and says he was only trying to give her some gentle criticism and she doesn’t need to get mad. Impressively, it doesn’t sound defensive so much as he seems surprised Korto would react that way. They have an adult conversation on the couch, with Korto saying she doesn’t mind little things, and Joe trying to be nice about his objections. Korto interviews that she’s afraid Joe will turn on her, but she’s ready to turn on him.

In the morning, Blayne is pretty confident, while Kelli swears to push Daniel aside if he’s not doing it right. Apparently he hasn’t made the new skirt yet. He begs for a zipper or something. Kenley says she hasn’t seen his high end glamorous style yet. What the hell do you think last week was? Terri tries on her top and loves it so much Jerell has to interview about how she’s not all that. Blayne also wishes to keep his design for himself. Korto and Joe’s dress doesn’t look all that good, according to Leanne, who hasn’t spoken much this week. Tim comes in to give them an hour and tell them to borrow “appropriately” from the accessory wall. Jerell is speechless at Kelli’s design. All he can do is shake his head. Tim gives them a 5 minute warning and is horrified some of them are still sewing. Daniel swears it’s done. I think everyone finishes, even Daniel.

Brooke is back to guest judge, of course. Heidi says “one of you will be out”, but it’s on a shot of the designers, so she might not have said that at first. But if they only eliminate one designer per week, when Fashion Week rolls around they’ll have 7 people left. SEVEN. Something must be done. Korto and Joe: I really like the orange in the jacket, but the sleeves are really big. There’s a belt so it shows off her figure which is good, and then the skirt is really tight. Not too short though. And then she takes off the jacket, and you can see that her dress is not fitted properly in her torso, like at all. Kelli and Daniel: at first you think it’s just a black jacket and skirt. But the jacket has a green waistband, and it flares out at the hip and there’s a lot of fabric there. The cuffs of the jacket have the leopard, which is repeated on the side and back panels of the bodice and the bottoms of her bra (the tops are in the green). Also you can see skin between the top and skirt. Jerell and Stella: a brown print skirt, which is loose and has kind of a mottled tone-on-tone print, a wide dark yellow leather band at the waist with a narrower striped belt, and a brown tank top. It’s actually pretty good, although there’s no real day-to-evening aspect to it. Keith and Kenley: a bright print, in “tropical” colors for the top, which has a v-neck and sleeves (they’re an odd length, like, halfway down her upper arm). Then a belt right under her breasts, and a chocolate brown skirt. The skirt has scalloped layers of chiffon, so it makes kind of a fish scale effect. Then the model gets to the end of the runway, takes off the scarf she had tied around her throat, and pulls on a couple of ties at the shoulders of the top. The sleeves slide down, and now they’re attached at the shoulder and the end of the fabric. Now there’s more skin, with the slit sleeves, and the top still looks good. That’s pretty cool. I know usually I don’t write about what people say during the runway show, but Kenley claims she wouldn’t have done anything differently. Terri and Suede: the top is off the shoulder and has a big ruffle neckline. It’s tunic length, and there’s a low-slung belt, and tight black pants. On the way back up the runway she pulls the top up so it’s sitting on her shoulders and looks more professional. Blayne and Leanne: bright blue button down shirt over a dark blue strappy top, and gray walking shorts with a cuff. The dark blue top fits her really well but the shorts are pretty low in the back.

Jerell and Stella, Kelli and Daniel, Keith and Kenley, and Blayne and Leanne get called out. The other two teams are safe. You’ll notice that’s Korto and Joe (who had conflict) and Terri and Suede (who also had conflict). Jerell gets to go first. Brooke loves the mix of textures, but she thinks the belt is kind of busy. Heidi loves the belt, though. Kors loves it too, but Nina doesn’t get to talk. Kelli explains that Daniel made the skirt while she made the jacket, and they both worked on the bustier. As they’re talking and showing close-up shots, you can see that there’s a lot of rouching on the jacket so it looks wrinkly. You know that kind of tiny pleating that is supposed to provide texture and allow you to wear your clothes wrinkled. Brooke calls the shape “unfortunate” and cheap. Kors asks to have the jacket removed and then says it’s slutty. Nina questions Kelli’s taste and says you can’t get it if you don’t have it. Kelli admits she should have fixed it, and Kors jumps in to say that Daniel should have said something. Of course Heidi asks who should go home, but Kelli says she won the first challenge and has never been in the bottom so Daniel should go home. Reluctant to fall on our sword, are we? He says he has impeccable taste and there’s no question about that. Kenley starts laughing so much that Heidi asks her what her problem is. She’s like, “oh, hee hee, Daniel’s statement was so absurd I had to laugh and draw attention to myself, but you should just ignore me now!” Her team gets picked on next. Well, not picked on, because Brooke loves it. Nina says it’s not really day, but it’s beautiful. Kors for some reason thinks that they melded aesthetics perfectly, and Keith redeems himself somewhat by not calling Kenley out. Blayne starts talking about bohemian, because a button down shirt and shorts are bohemian. Brooke likes it, but it’s too casual. Blayne counters by pretending to know stuff about her character, saying he knows she won’t be restricted forever, or something. Nina says he didn’t listen, and then attacks Leanne for not stopping this. Heidi thinks she got dressed in the dark. He says he’s crazy, and they know that, and he took a risk. Kors interrupts to tell him that if he was taking a risk he could have at least made it interesting. Blayne, showing surprising maturity (take that, Kelli), says it’s his design and he should go home. Leanne agrees. Kelli does kind of look worried.

Jerell and Stella had a great silhouette, it was Heidi’s favorite, it was impeccable and feminine. Keith and Kenley were inspired, sophisticated, classy, and actually listened to the challenge. Kelli really just did what she liked, didn’t execute the design, and Nina questions both of their taste levels but especially Kelli’s since she was in charge. Heidi counters by saying Daniel didn’t really do a lot, and hasn’t been impressive. Blayne didn’t listen and is a brat, but Leanne has lost confidence and didn’t speak up.

I just noticed Jerell is wearing a dress under that jacket, and over those pants. Honey you are no Austin. Keith wins. Eh. It was pretty but who would wear that to work? I guess a character on TV that doesn’t have to be based in reality. Jerell and Stella are safe. Leanne is in. Daniel is in. Kelli has no taste, and Blayne can’t step outside of himself. Blayne is in. I do think Kelli’s was the worst. She’s mad and doesn’t think she deserve to go home because she took a risk. She says she’d rather go out as herself than try to be something she’s not.

Next week: what is that behind the scrim? Giant Viking helmet? No, just Chris March in drag. And a bra that he must have made out of a disco ball. LOVE IT. And THEN! Then, my friends, he says the words I have been dying to hear for years: “Your next challenge is designing an outfit for a drag queen.” Ever since I heard Rupaul was a guest judge, I hoped and hoped that the challenge would be drag queens, and oh baby it’s going to be good. Just look at the shot of the models to choose from. Tim asks them if they’re ready for the most fabulous show in the history of Project Runway. Yes. Yes I am. (Kmanpat: “Hell yeah we are.”)

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