Project Runway 1/16/08--"On Garde!" summary

Previously on Project Runway: The designers had to make prom dresses. The screwing of the models continues as the high school girls are allowed to model their own dresses. Seriously, I don’t know any of the model’s names and the producers don’t seem to care, seeing as how every other challenge doesn’t include them. There was a LOT of disagreement with the judges this week. Victorya won with a bubble hem skirt, which was OK, but Kit and Chris did excellent jobs and got no recognition. Christian got slammed for his ugly dress and his willingness to throw his client under the bus, but in the end Kevin went home because his model looked older than me. Also he decided not to finish his hem and he thought he could get away with it. Not Christian for his ugly dress, and not Ricky for his boring bubble hem dress. Whatever. It makes me feel a little better to know Tim Gunn doesn’t agree with things either. (click for more)

You know they tape the opening credits in the middle of the season? After people are out? So when Carmen says “Bottom line? I’m the best” it’s entirely possible that was after she was eliminated. Good acting job, if that’s the case.

Christian the next morning says his client almost got him eliminated. Then he says that he knows his dress wasn’t that great, but other people’s dresses were not cute so he shouldn’t have been in the bottom two. Shut up, Christian. You and your cowboy boots. Ricky is going to turn it around. But he does not promise not to cry.

Heidi comes out with the velvet bag. Today the models have strange hair. I don’t know. Heidi says they have to make an avant-garde look inspired by the models’ hairstyles. Chris is thrilled. Oh, one poor girl has dreds. Do you know how hard it is to get rid of those? AND two of them will be out, meaning they let them jack up their hair for no good reason. So, when I heard that this challenge had to do with the models‘ hairstyles, I was pissed because models don’t have hairstyles; their hair is often damaged because it gets styled within an inch of its life on a regular basis, and also it has to be boring so the designer for the show or the shoot or whatever can do stuff to it. So I thought that using “hairstyles” like that was pretty stupid. This is only slightly less stupid. Model selection. Whatever. The final 3 models are left up there for Ricky to choose from. They show clips and it could all be the same girl. Seriously, they all look the same. The girl with the dreds doesn’t get picked because Ricky picks the girl with the giant 50’s “Hairspray” bouffant.

Tim says since it’s avant-garde they don’t have to make practical or wearable looks. Now they have to work in pairs. Ha! And Tim will pair them up with the bag. HA! Kit and Ricky, Sweet P and Rami (she is thrilled), Chris and Christian (HAHAHA) but Christian lucked out. Chris does crazy stuff every day. Victorya and Jillian are the last pair. They get to pick between the two models, and they‘ll have $300 and 2 days. Each team has to have a leader. Christian doesn’t want to be leader because he doesn’t want to be eliminated but he feels strongly about this whole thing. He wants thousands of circles of fabric to match the braids on their model. Kit is working with the girl with better hair, not the one Ricky picked. She has a very cute curly bob, but for some reason Kit thinks it looks like a bird’s nest. Um, hello? Oh wait, “rat’s nest” and “bird’s nest” are not the same. Anyways, Kit starts talking about nesting. Rami is leading because Sweet P doesn’t think avant-garde. And they’re using a red head with gorgeous long wavy hair. Somehow this is “hard and soft“ and Rami wants to have curvy lines but also pants. Jillian wants to make a trench coat but Victorya wants punk. They‘re using the girl with the row of ponytails that makes her look like she has a Mohawk. She and Victorya have to flip a coin to decide leader but they both seem to agree that’s only way to decide. Victorya wins. Jillian says that’s OK but she has concerns about some of the design and they have to make sure they have a story.

Shopping. Christian needs 50 yards of organza. Rami and Sweet P play Marco Polo. Somehow I remember shopping being more interesting in previous seasons.

Kit describes her clothes in more detail now: the girl’s hair is a nest, and so there’s layers of aprons like she‘s working in the garden. Christian declares that if he was a diva, his name would be “Feroche”. (Kmanpat: “If?“) Their dress of circular layers includes a circular neckpiece to match. As Chris is making the skeleton of the neckpiece out of wires, he jokes about making a cell phone tower, but Sweet P wants a spaceship to Elisa’s planet. Chris: “Didn’t you know, Elisa left me these instructions.“ Hee. Jillian is making a trench coat and replicating the hairstyle down the back. She’s worried about time management because neither of them are good with that. Rami is doing the corset because of the detail, and he’s left Sweet P to do trousers. When he describes it, it’s phrased very carefully. Not “Sweet P is going to do the trousers”, but “Sweet P assured me that she would have no problem making the trousers.“ Dun!

Ricky jokes about boning girls. Heh. Rami tells us he has to constantly help Sweet P all the time and it’s putting him behind. He’s kind of condescending when he talks to her, in that rather than asking her if she has questions, he’s like, “Do you feel comfortable with that?“ He continues to harp on her in the sewing room, saying he thinks the pants should be almost finished and so he’s just concerned. She thinks it’s fine because they’re ahead of his schedule. We don’t see her asking him questions, at all. He interviews that he feels he’ll get blamed for any conflict. I’m not sure why he’s bugging her to make sure things are done; if he’s had to spend all day answering her questions then wouldn’t he know how far along she is?

The next day Sweet P makes sure she has enough smokes for the day. She’s nervous because Rami was upset last night. You guys, I totally missed Rami shirtless last week. I’m so ashamed. Ricky and Kit are working well together. Sweet P is trying to get a bustle for some drama but Rami thinks it’ll look terrible. It is up to him, I guess. Tim makes them gather ‘round and they are all freaked out. That’s almost never good. He says there will be another look walking down the runway tomorrow. Everyone is angry. They have to make a second garment, a ready-to-wear look that embodies their avant-garde look. PLEASE. Seriously, tell them that in the beginning! They’ll still freak out and have drama! Now the challenge is as stupid as I thought it would be. ALSO I was so glad to have half as many designs to describe. $50, 15 minutes to shop and an extra hour to work. Only one person can go shopping. The only good point is that Tim does have a point about how most designers have to do this all the time: make crazy runway stuff, and then make stuff people will buy. I think Tim hates this too. Victorya freaks out because they’re already behind. Rami shoots down Sweet P’s ideas, but to his credit, she’s describing it and he wants her to sketch, but she refuses and he can‘t picture it. But she wants navy and he says, “Navy’s not so much day, though.” Navy isn’t day? WTF? Kit is going shopping for fabric but Ricky is going to make the dress.

The models get to come in for a fitting. Immediately Sweet P tries to get rid of some of the stuff because there’s too much but Rami loves it. But he didn’t want the bustle? Ricky and Kit thrilled with their look. Victorya only has pants. In the sewing room Sweet P says her dress is done, and Jillian bitches that great, I’m glad for you, everyone is done but us. Sweet P has to apologize for making an observation. It’s really bitchy and passive aggressive, and I kind of hate it, but it’s the most emotion I’ve seen from Jillian ever so I kind of like it. She’s upset because if they lose, Victorya is immune so Jillian goes home. Chris doesn’t want anyone to forget their dress as long as they live. Christian demonstrates fierce walking. OK, that was dorky and cute. Sweet P seems to be in charge of the ready-to-wear look. Rami demands to know when she’s going to be done with stuff, and she’s insisting that she’ll get done, but he feels he is “entitled” to know when they’re going to be done. He tells her that his ass is on the line, as if hers isn’t. She reminds him of this fact, and he says that she’s not in as much danger as she is. Rami gets really frustrated that Sweet P won’t give him a time frame, I guess because he doesn’t trust that she‘ll be done, and he tells her to understand that he’s in danger of elimination and that‘s all he‘s asking, is for a time stamp. He says that he has to be careful because Sweet P is so defensive and it‘s exhausting him. Perhaps if you didn’t attack her about being done she wouldn’t be defensive. The man is wearing bell bottoms, I just have to point that out. Sweet P is in tears and her model has to comfort her. She keeps saying that she’s almost done and Rami needs to calm down and get off her back. I know, there may be editing with this. But what I saw was Sweet P forced to explain how close she was to finishing, but she can’t or won’t say something like, “I’ll be done in two hours,” which makes Rami yell at her like they’re going to send the model down the runway naked. Not knowing exactly when you’re going to be done doesn’t mean you won’t finish on time.

Tim time! He starts by making them gather ‘round again, models too, and introduces Nathaniel Hawkins who is from Tresemme. Oh, sorry, TRESemmé. So they can tone down the crazy hair for their everyday look. The winning team gets to be in an ad in Elle. Hair consults. Not exciting. Tim comes to visit. He loves Christian and Chris’s avant-garde look but not the other one. Christian thinks it looks expensive and awesome. Tim thinks Ricky and Kit have made a costume which is apparently not OK. They need to punch it up. Time for Rami and Sweet P. Tim thinks Rami isn’t going to surprise the judges. He thinks they haven’t gone high enough. Rami is like, well, they haven’t seen corsets from me yet. I see. Sweet P makes some comment which is bleeped, and all of a sudden Rami is talking about how they don’t get along. They are both diplomatic about their problems, even though Rami brought it up for no reason and he actually says, “Well, how is the experience so far? I want you to talk a little bit.” Wow. Victorya and Jillian are slow. He loves their coat if they can get it done. They haven’t even started the second outfit yet, with 4 hours left. Sigh.

More working. Sweet P and Rami are now not speaking. She wants to make the everyday outfit awesome so she can stand on that when they’re on the runway. Jillian freaks out and shows some emotion. Chris sits next to her and calmly sews and curses in a weird accent. Jillian and Victorya aren’t done of course. Frighteningly, they go home without starting the everyday look. Are you serious?

Morning! Sweet P hopes to avoid a fistfight. Christian has a vest and puffy shirt. Sigh. Jillian is only now starting on the second dress. They’ll get their everyday models first, because the avant-garde models are already in hair. Kit and Ricky’s everyday dress is simple and Ricky doesn’t like the fabric but he admits it’s up to Kit. Lots of shots of hair. Christian knows they’re going to win. Sigh again. Jillian’s everyday dress is really basic. She knows it’s an afterthought. Kit is nervous because her dress is so different from everyone else. Jillian thinks it would be great if they won. Yeah.

Guest judge is Alberta Ferretti. Only one of them will win and only one will go home. Rami and Sweet P: beige corset and ribbons. Draped, of course. Asymmetrical, of course. One side is pleated and draped, and on the other side you can see the boning of the corset and there’s a ruffly ribbon outlining it. The skirt is flowy and airy, but then there are black pants. With the airy beige. Bleh. The everyday dress is short and one shouldered and in a silvery fabric with beige trim. Lots of pleating, with a wide band at the bottom and a belt. I like it much better. Christian and Chris have ruffles everywhere and I love it. There’s vertical pleating right in the center of the bodice but layers and layers all around the skirt. The best part is the giant one-sided collar with more ruffles, that is like 4 feet high but only on her left side. Then the everyday look is a pencil skirt, a belt, and a sleeveless blouse with the same ruffles, like tux ruffles. Kit and Ricky: hoop skirt with layers of shiny fabric (darker on the bottom layer shading to peachy near the waist) and then wider layers of what looks like printed cotton. It’s cute but not that fashionable. The bodice is boring, square cut like an apron, blah. The second look has some of the same fabric but the skirt isn’t even that full. How does it go? It’s a very boring sleeveless dress with pockets. Victorya and Jillian: the jacket is fabulous. Double breasted, a huge bustle and ruffles with a dark pink plaid lining. Underneath there are tan jodhpurs and a white sleeveless blouse with more ruffles like a tuxedo shirt. The black dress is boring. One shoulder, some ruffling with the same pink plaid lining. I can’t tell if it’s well made or not, because the black hides it well.

Rami and Sweet P, and Kit and Ricky, are called forward, they have the low scores. They have to leave so the judges can talk to the winners. Christian says that they loved the romantic look of her hair and decided to make all the ruffles and worked together no problem. It’s amazing. Kors makes them admit the skirt of the everyday look is a throwaway, but the top is great and they love their team. Victorya describes their “equestrian-punk” look. The blouse has contrasting ruffles in the back, and the judges ask why they covered that, but the jacket is so great that you have to have the jacket. They have 3 looks and Victorya jokes they should win and Christian looks pained. The judges like their everyday dress. It’s OK I guess.

Rami immediately thought of a corset and flowy skirt, but then they needed pants to make it different or something. Sweet P’s dress is more forward looking and commercial which is the point. They think Rami only drapes and they wanted to see something else. The pants are ill fitting and could have been cool but they really aren‘t. Sweet P says she wanted a bustle but Rami was taking ownership of the look and didn‘t want her putting too much into it. They do seem pretty calm about how they don’t get along, like, not a lot of finger pointing. They just both say that they don’t see eye to eye. Kors says that the best design teams don’t get along. Kit made the skirt of their look and Ricky made the top and everyday dress. Alberta says it’s Scarlett O’Hara but her dress looked like a real dress, whereas Kors thinks this dress looks like bedsheets. Heidi thinks the satin on the skirt is too puckery and it’s not avant-garde. Whatever. I mean, they have a point, but whatever. There are lots of problems with that dress and you’re going to pick on wrinkly satin?

Christian’s avant-garde is perfect and the team worked together so well. Victorya and Jillian have terrific clothes that women will want to wear. Rami drapes all the time and now is the time that the judges are tired of your signature stuff. Sweet P got thrown under the bus but she did a better job on her dress than Rami did. Kit’s dress isn’t avant-garde and the only thing that’s good is that they made a hoop from scratch. Apparently in other fabrics and higher quality stuff it would be better. Plus the everyday dress looked poor.

Christian wins. Wow, I agree! He gets immunity, so I guess Chris is out of luck. Christian says that he doesn’t have that much press yet. Those cowboy boots will get you press. Victorya and Jillian are in. Ricky is in. Sweet P is in. Rami’s avant garde look wasn’t dramatic and it’s his fault that there was drama. Kit’s look took them backwards. Kit is out. Oh, like the judges would get rid of Rami. They all want to get in his pants. That’s right, I said it. He’s their favorite and I’ll be surprised if they get rid of him before Fashion Week. Kit doesn’t have any regrets but she has two full suitcases of friendship. Aww (barf). It’s unfortunate for the competition that she’s out. They apparently did the Elle photo shoot right then, because everyone is on the runway and Chris and Christian are wearing the same clothes. They look cute, although Christian is standing in front of his model so you can‘t see her dress as well. Figures.

Nest week: some warehouse garbage challenge. You know it is, they’re at the Port Authority. Jillian breaks down. Ricky cries and Kors looks on in disgust.