TAR14, Recap Leg 11, 5/10/09

Welcome to Leg 11! Last time, on I Need To Pee and I Hope That We Still Win A Million Dollars, teams jauntily sauntered across the town of Beijing, after having carried cheese, gone hang gliding, run naked, fed camels, and called each other bitches a thousand times or so. This all led to Kisha and Jen being eliminated at the Bird’s Nest, and we have our final three teams: Margie and Luke, Jaime and Cara, and Tammy and Victor. Who will win The Amazing Race 14? (click for more)


Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Tammy/Victor, Team Asian, arrived at 9:15 AM
2nd – Margie/Luke, Team ASL, arrived at 11:24 AM
3rd – Jaime/Cara, The Cheerleaders, arrived at 2:04 PM

Niao Chao, Beijing, China

9:15 PM Tammy/Victor (1st)
Clue: Fly 5000 miles to your final destination city: Maui, Hawaii, USA! Once there, teams must take a taxi to Beach Access 118 and put on their provided swimsuits. Once there, teams must prepare a pig for a luau by rubbing a special seasoning on the pig, then carry the 145 pound pig 200 yards to the cooking pit, where teams should follow the provided example to prepare the pit for the pig. Once the pit is correct, teams will receive their next clue.

11:24 PM Margie/Luke (2nd)
2:04 AM Jaime/Cara (3rd)

Teams arrive at Beijing International Airport in the following order:

1- Tammy/Victor
2- Margie/Luke
3- Jaime/Cara

All the teams end up on the same flight to Maui. We follow the Amazing Red Line to the final destination city. (Toyouke: “Maui is not a city.”)

Teams arrive in Maui and grab taxis in the following order:

1- Tammy/Victor
2- Jaime/Cara
3- Margie/Luke

Teams take their taxis to Beach Access 118 arrive in the following order:

1- Tammy/Victor – (Toyouke: “There is your Victor-in-a-swimsuit eye candy.”)
2- Jaime/Cara
3- Margie/Luke

Teams then carry the pigs and create the luau setups. However, Margie and Luke seem to be the only ones who can carry the pig on their shoulders. As a result, the teams complete the luau task in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke
2- Tammy/Victor
3- Jaime/Cara – Jaime: “Cara, we’re going to lose a million dollars!” (Toyouke: “Oh Jaime. You never had the million dollars to lose.”)

Teams are then instructed to take their taxis to McGregor Point Beach. Once there, the teams are to take a watercraft into the ocean to a buoy field. Once at the buoy field, teams search for a clue among the 100 buoys. (Toyouke: “Just when I thought we had dodged Swedish Roulette!”) Teams then get their clue and return to the beach.

Teams arrive at McGregor Point in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke
2- Tammy/Victor
3- Jaime/Cara - who had some issues with the pig.

Teams take their watercrafts to the buoy field and arrive in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke
2- Tammy/Victor
3- Jaime/Cara

Teams find their clues and head back to the dock. They arrive there in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke
2- Jaime/Cara – who found the needle in the ocean faster.
3- Tammy/Victor

Once there, they read the clue that tells them to travel along the Hana Highway and find the Maui Surfboard Fence at Ka’ohu Farms Pe’ah to get their next clue. Teams arrive there in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke
2- Tammy/Victor
3- Jaime/Cara – who are having taxi trouble and get shot down by the head of the taxi service: “I am not your personal concierge.” (Toyouke: “Someone finally told Jaime to shut up! Good for them.”) Then, once they call the POLICE to get directions (Kmanpat: “I hope they didn’t call 911.”), the taxi driver decides that they need gas. (Toyouke: “Oh, the nastiness to all drivers everywhere has caused your bad karma. I am pleased.”) And when the taxi driver says that, you should ALWAYS get gas. So stop arguing, FLO.

And teams arrive at the final roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
“Who’s ready to build something from memory?”
In this roadblock, one team member must build their own surfboard wall using eleven of the 300 provided surfboards. However, they must construct their wall using eleven items, one from each leg of the race, and put them in order. Once the entire wall is correct, teams will get their next clue.

The order is as follows:
1) Saint Christopher: Church of San Antonio, Locarno, Switzerland
2) Gondola: Ruhpolding, Germany
3) Nadia Comaneche: Sala Gymnastica, Bucharest, Romania
4) Dam: Krasnoyarsk, Russia
5) Lada: Detour, Novosibirsk, Russia
6) Nose Flute Pit Stop Greeter: Jaipur, India
7) Esso the Tiger: Phuket Zoo, Phuket, Thailand
8) Boats: Bangkok Canals, Bangkok, Thailand
9) Cormorants: #24 Bridge, Guilin, China
10) Foot Reflexology: Liangzi Foot Massage, Beijing, China
11) Scorpion Skewers: Dong Hua Men Yi Shi Market, Beijing, China

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Luke – (Toyouke: “I don't think Luke knows his #10 is wrong.”)
2- Victor
3- Jaime – Jaime: “I don’t remember donkeys and kiwis on this race.” (Toyouke: “Does Jaime not understand the task? Does she think every surfboard will have something from the race on it? OH!!!!!!!!! PLEASE tell me the decoy surfboards have tasks from previous seasons!!!!! Donkeys and kiwis!”)

Luke arrives very early, and is able to complete nine of the eleven boards before Victor arrived. He’s been studying. (Toyouke: “See, now that they've been doing that for so long, people are studying. Which is an excellent idea.”) However, he can’t figure out the final two, and both of the other teams show up in the meantime.

Teams finish the roadblock in the following order:

1- Tammy/Victor
2- Jaime/Cara – who can’t figure out the first surfboard. So Luke tells them. (Toyouke: “Are you allowed to work together? Did Luke just help Jaime finish? WTF?”)
3- Margie/Luke – who are resigned to finishing third. Cara: “Jaime, come on.” Jaime: “NO, I would have not gotten St. Christopher without him. Luke show me your order.” And she helps him get it right.

Teams are then informed that they should travel to King Kamehameha Golf Club and run to the finish line. (Toyouke: “They're not even making it suspenseful? Was there that much of a gap? “) They arrive in the following order:

1- Tammy/Victor
2- Jaime/Cara
3- Margie/Luke

Tammy and Victor, after 3 continents, 9 countries and 40000 miles, you are the winners of The Amazing Race 14! YAY! (Toyouke: “God, when Victor was flailing in Bulgaria, who would have thought they could win?”) And Jaime and Cara finish second, with Margie and Luke in Third.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Tammy/Victor
2nd – Jaime/Cara
3rd – Margie/Luke
4th – Kisha/Jen
5th – Mark/Michael
6th – Mel/Mike
7th – Christie/Jodi
8th – Amanda/Kris
9th – Brad/Victoria
10th – Steve/Linda
11th – Preston/Jennifer

And that’s it for this season! We’ll see you next time on the Amazing Race!
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TAR14, Recap Leg 10, 5/2/09

Welcome back to Leg 10! Last time, on Mama Still Ain’t Name Her Grace, teams leapt from Guilin to Beijing China, where the Athlete and ASL feud continued. Teams got wonderfully hard massages and then went swimming, where Jen completely broke down. Jaime and Cara finally got into the lead, but arrive at the Drum Tower, and find a fake Pit Stop with Phil and another clue. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)


Drum Tower, Beijing, China

Teams arrive at the Drum Tower in the following order:

1- Jaime/Cara – who are annoyed that they didn’t actually finish first. Jaime: “For Phil to say it wasn’t over was very disheartening.”
2- Margie/Luke – where Margie is finally getting frustrated at her overbearingly whiny son.
3- Tammy/Victor
4- Kisha/Jen

Teams are to make their way to Bai Hai Dong Men, a nearby shopping center for their next clue.

Teams arrive at Bai Hai Dong Men in the following order:

1- Jaime/Cara
2- Margie/Luke
3- Tammy/Victor
4- Kisha/Jen

Teams are now instructed to search the shops at Bai Hai Dong Men to find a Travelocity Roaming Gnome, and teams must keep their gnome until the Pit Stop. (Toyouke: “Stupid gnomes.”)

Teams find their gnomes in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke
2- Jaime/Cara – Cara: “They think we’re crazy searching for gnomes.” (Toyouke: “If people came into my shop and asked me for a gnome I would think they were crazy too.”)
3- Tammy/Victor
4- Kisha/Jen

Teams are now told to go to Gu Gong Xi Bei Jiao and find the electric bicycles. Teams are to then ride their bicycles through the Forbidden City and Tiananmen Square to Dongdan Subway Station to find their next vlue.

Teams arrive at the bikes in the following order:

1- Tammy/Victor – (Toyouke: “Victor is riding in a bicycle with a gnome in the basket. Hee.”)
2- Margie/Luke
3- Kisha/Jen
4- Jaime/Cara – (Toyouke: “You know what, I think that when Jaime was pointing at things in the cab, she was highlighting ‘Gu Gong’ and he decided they were going to the Forbidden City. Maybe he was trying to be rid of them sooner.”)

Teams ride through Beijing in the early morning traffic, where Tammy and Victor almost get run over. But teams all arrive in one piece at Dongdan in the following order:

1- Tammy/Victor
2- Margie/Luke
3- Kisha/Jen
4- Jaime/Cara

And teams get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Beijing Opera OR Chinese Waiter
*Beijing Opera: Teams travel to Hu Guang Hui Guan Opera House. Once there, the two team members must get made up as a princess and a gentleman in the Chinese Opera style. Teams then get into full costume, go onstage and bow to the Opera Master to get their next clue.
*Chinese Waiter: Teams travel to Hu Guang Hui Guan Restaurant and choose a table of five guests. Teams then must take their order in Mandarin, and recite the order back to the chef. When the orders are given correctly, the chef will make the dishes which the teams will then deliver and the guests will give them their next clue. (Toyouke: “Seriously? Mandarin? Well...I guess if you could take your order phonetically that would make it easier.”)

1-Tammy/Victor choose Chinese Waiter – because they speak Mandarin. Which makes sense. And then they screw it up. Hee. Victor: “Our parents are going to die because we screwed up yet another task involving Chinese things that we should totally know because we’re Chinese.”
2-Kisha/Jen choose Beijing Opera
3-Margie/Luke choose Beijing Opera – Margie: “You’re making me look like Alice Cooper!” Luke: “Well, I know what I’m doing with make up, so stop looking at yourself in the mirror!” Or something like that.
4-Jaime/Cara choose Beijing Opera – but get taken to the National Opera by mistake. (Toyouke: “Hey, your taxi driver got "opera" out of your stupid singing. That's pretty damn good.”)

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Tammy/Victor
2- Kisha/Jen
3- Margie/Luke
4- Jaime/Cara

CAUTION: U-TURN AHEAD

This is the second of two U-Turns of the race. Teams may choose to u-turn any team they wish (well, the team has to be behind them), but they may only use the U-Turn once during the race. If a team is u-turned, they must go back to the Detour choices and complete the Detour that they did not complete. This U-Turn is NOT blind. (Toyouke: “It wouldn't matter if it was a blind U-Turn, because at this point I'm sure you'd be able to figure it out.”)

Teams leave the detour and get the clue to go to Wen Chang Ge, which is in the Opera House / Restaurant complex. After wandering around, teams arrive at the U-Turn and then get their next clue in the following order:

1-Tammy/Victor choose to U-Turn Kisha/Jen – because, as Victor reasons, even though Margie/Luke are the strongest team, Kisha/Jen are the fastest. And also that Kisha/Jen would U-Turn them. (Toyouke: “OOHHHH!!!! THEY WOULD HAVE U-TURNED LUKE AND MARGIE! But that's cool anyway.”)
2-Margie/Luke cannot U-Turn
3-Kisha/Jen have been U-Turned – so they go back and do Chinese Waiter. Jen: “We Black, not Chinese.” (Toyouke: “Good Western Heads Lack Fish" HA”)
4-Jaime/Cara cannot U-Turn – because they wandered for THREE HOURS looking for it. Cara: “Maybe we should go back to the Opera and retrace our steps.” (Toyouke: “Go back to where you started and retrace your steps? You mean, like EVERYONE ELSE DID 3 hours ago?”) Jaime: “This is why I didn’t want to go to China, because it sucks.” (Auburnium513: “Whiney whiney bicker bicker bicker shut UP”)

Once teams finally get to the U-Turn, teams find their next clue which directs them to Dong Hua Men Yi Shi Street Market.

Teams arrive at the Street Market in the following order:

1- Tammy/Victor
2- Margie/Luke
3- Kisha/Jen
4- Jaime/Cara

And teams arrive at the ninth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
“Who’s got a taste for adventure?”
In this roadblock, one team member must eat Chinese street food, which includes grasshopper, larvae, scorpions, and starfish, all fried. Once roadblockers finish their plate, teams get their next clue.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Victor
2- Margie – Margie: “This stinks.” Luke: “Smells good.”
3- Jen
4- Cara

Teams finish the roadblock in the following order:

1- Tammy/Victor
2- Margie/Luke
3- Kisha/Jen – Jen: “I’ve got to pee; I just drank four bottles of water.” (Toyouke: "Jen's comments about having to pee are fun.")
4- Jaime/Cara

Teams are then instructed to race by taxi to Niao Chao, or the Bird’s Nest, the stadium built for the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing. THIS will be the tenth PIT STOP for this racearoundtheworld. The last team to check in here will probably be eliminated!

Teams arrive at the Bird’s Nest in the following order:

1- Tammy/Victor – who win a trip for two to the Galapagos Islands.
2- Margie/Luke
3- Jaime/Cara – Phil: “I’m sorry to tell you that you’re going to have to keep racing.” Cara: “Didn’t I tell you that there’s always hope?” Yeah, Flo, listen to your partner. Pthbbt.
4- Kisha/Jen

And Kisha and Jen are eliminated, why? (Toyouke: HOLY CRAP JEN AND KISHA LOST BECAUSE JEN HAD TO PEE!!!!!!) Yes, folks, this is why we don’t stop in the middle of a race. Jen: “I feel guilty as hell. I had to use the bathroom.” Oh well.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Tammy/Victor
2nd – Margie/Luke
3rd – Jaime/Cara


Next week: FINALE! Teams race to Hawaii, and carry pigs. Jaime talks to Americans like they are Chinese, and there’s surfboard arranging. Until next time!
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