Project Runway 9/10/08--"What's Your Sign?" summary

Previously on Project Runway: everyone got to meet Diane von Furstenberg and design a look to go with her fall collection. The inspiration was “A Foreign Affair” so everyone was supposed to do 40’s spy type stuff. Leanne won by making a great dress with this odd menswear coat. Everyone loved the coat although I didn’t really get it. Stella made a suit, which might have been cute if it had been well made, and then this cape that I think was too thin or something and looked stupid. So she went home. She seemed cool with it though. On another note, did you know Fashion Week was this week? Notice how many designers are left? I wonder what they’ll do. (click for more)

Terri wanders around singing “the bitch is dead” and she is glad. Suede mumbles to Blayne about dreaming about making dresses out of chiffon and pop tarts. Pop tarts would just crumble and fall apart, wouldn’t they? Kenley wants to win the next challenge. She thinks she will win the whole thing, she is so awesome.

Leanne decides to keep her model. Big whoop. Heidi announces “special guests” and when they come out, it turns out to be the eliminated designers. Eh? Oo, Wesley! Everyone who is still in the competition looks very nervous. Each of the designers that are left are working with one of the eliminated designers to create an avant garde look. Jerell says that is his bag, baby. Not to worry because the eliminated designers are only there for inspiration and are not able to return to the competition, unlike Angela and Vincent that time. Kenley worries because she doesn’t work well with others.

They are working in teams of 2, and Tim has additional information: the look must be inspired by the astrological sign of one member of the team. Avant garde looks based on astrological signs? This should be good. I kind of wish there were 12 people left so they could each do a different one. Tim breaks out the velvet bag to make assignments. Korto is signed up with Kelly, Kenley with Welsey, Joe with Daniel, Leanne with Emily, Blayne with Stella (they are thrilled), Terri with Keith (she’s pissed), Jerell with Jennifer, and Suede with Jerry. They will have 2 days, with 30 minutes to sketch right now (and a dossier with info about all the signs). The dossiers have colors, personality traits, all that stuff. People react as if they’ve never read up on their signs before. You guys, I am a scientist and I am fully versed on my sign and all the personality traits and how I interact with people and all that stuff. It’s fun. (Kmanpat: “That’s why you get along with me so well when other Cancers I know don’t get along with me, because you’re on the cusp so you must have Gemini traits but I think you’re really a Cancer because you’re moody and Gemini’s aren’t nearly as mo—ow!”) Leanne says she is unbalanced, and she wants to work with Scorpio because she doesn’t want to do something with scales. Cut to Blayne and Stella discussing scales.

Shopping time! 30 minutes and $250 to run around Mood. Kenley says Wesley takes direction well. (Kmanpat: “Welsey, come over to my house. *silence* *pouting*) Keith complains that Terri is using fur and making a lion costume. What do you care? You’re already out. He tells her not to use fur but she ignores him.

Suede and Jerry also have Libra and they seem to be trying to work in the scales. Suede wanted to move away from the animal thing. Terri says Keith doesn’t have the skills she has so she has no idea what is going to happen. He says that he’s fragile and she should “be gentle”. Snerk. So Terri pretty much rolls her eyes and says “Maybe he can pick up the pins that fall on the floor.” I love Terri.

Joe and Daniel are working with Aries. His print looks like red cabbage. This is somehow a ram. Well, it’s not really done yet, I guess. Jerry says he’s won prizes for avant garde design. Kenley says she is strong and progressive like her design and it’s awesome. Leanne finds it annoying that she never shuts up, and she says so. In the workroom. While Kenley is still in the workroom. Kenley complains that they are talking smack right in front of her, which…they are, to be fair, but I don’t like Kenley so it doesn’t bother me. In confessional Kenley says some girls don’t like her to have fun. Well, I don’t, so…yeah.

Tim time! Blayne starts talking about manifestation, or something? Libra is about being nude and then manifesting when there’s a “situation”? I don’t think Tim gets it either so he just leaves them. Jerell and Jennifer have an armor vibe. There’s a brocade looking plaid skirt (Tim says it’s houndstooth). But the skirt is very slim with like, saddlebags on the hips. Tim says he’ll either win or be out. Leanne is talking exoskeletons, with a black fabric curving around and over something underneath, I think. It looks really cool, like an insect without being literal. Kenley is trying to pin giant light bulbs to her dress form. Oh, those are forms for her giant leg of mutton sleeves. She has the following fabrics: purple plaid, zebra, and floral. It hurts my eyes just to look at them in a pile on the table. Tim calls it a costume, and also that it looks like Glenda the Good Witch of the North. Kenley waves him off. Wesley knows it’s messed up. Terri still wants to do a collar of fur, and Tim wants the dress to all go together. He says that Keith has innovation so she should listen to him. When did he show any of that? Anyway, this prompts Keith to give some advice, which Terri shoots down because he hasn’t spoken up before this. Except that he did, in Mood. Tim bails, now that he’s stirred the pot. Then Keith is like, you’re hard to work with, I’m trying here. Dude. Seriously? That’s not the way to get Terri to be nice to you.

The cameramen missed Welsey too. That’s why they showed him shirtless. Everyone is worried about how much work they have to do. When they get to the workroom Heidi has left them notes: they’ll be showing their designs before a live audience tonight at 8pm. So instead of having all night tonight, they have a lot less time. Also, two people are going home. (That still leaves them with 6 designers for Friday, so WTF is that?) The mad rush begins. Stella says she’s only worried about Blayne losing. Emily is working hard. Jerry and Suede whisper and then wonder why they are whispering. Terri watches Keith and then takes over from him and won’t let him do anything. So he bails and goes to the lounge to complain about her to Jerell. He abandons all responsibility for the look.

Tim appears to bring models and give them another hour. Also he delivers the bad news that there will no longer be immunity for any challenge winners. There is a ton of running around and freaking. Kenley is not impressed with anyone, because she thinks she is the best. Korto says her dress has to go to the party all pinned because she can’t sew it in time.

Everyone arrives at The Rose Center for Earth and Space for their fancy party. I thought there would be a runway show, but I think they are just going to be standing there and answering questions. When they arrive in the main room, the other secret guests are revealed: previous designers. Hee. Danny V (with a Monkees haircut which is not working for him), Christian, Carmon, Alison, Robert (season 1 Robert sadly, not Robert Best), Jay, and Kara Janx. Heidi says they’ll be picking the winner, but no one will find out until the runway show tomorrow. Oh, who am I kidding, Danny V is still hot. Kenley is up first, and when Heidi says her model’s boobs are saggy, Kenley says they’re where Heidi’s are right now. She even gestures to demonstrate. Sigh. I can’t really see anyone’s dresses very well right now. Keith says Terri won’t talk to him, but he just was bitching about her so, no sympathy. Christian hates the collar. Carmon criticizes Suede, that he repeated the bell/scale shape too much. Jay quickly guesses Korto’s sign that she was representing. Heidi hates Blayne’s color choice, because it reminds her of granny panties. She doesn’t get it. Jerell has 6 different trims on his jacket, and Danny V says it’s subtle and great. Kara loves Joe’s look. Jay mimes a scorpion for Leanne. Everyone schmoozes, and you can notice how tiny Christian is. Carmon looks like she could break him in half.

In the morning everyone gets up early to work. Terri says that Christian hated the fur collar so she’s scrapping it and adding color to the front. She is talking about working hard, as Keith is sleeping. Kenley plans to stuff her model’s bra. Korto has to sew everything still. Stella is hammering grommets. Heh. Suede refers to himself in the third person for the first time, 35 minutes in. He’s getting better. Joe says that Kenley’s outfit is like Mickey Mouse. OK, I don’t like Kenley, but giant leg of mutton sleeves are not Mickey Mouse. Tim actually has to go to the lounge and wake Keith up so he won’t miss the show. Wow. He didn’t take his elimination well, did he?

Guest judge for today is Francisco Costa, women’s creative director for Calvin Klein Collections. Blayne is up first, with Libra. I have no idea. It’s a nude leotard, except that it’s not formfitting, it’s more like a chemise, with nude tights. Then there are leather straps crisscrossing it, and over her right side there are bunches and bunches of colored fabric poofs in red, blue, and pink. I have no idea. It’s unbalanced, which, I thought Libra was balanced? Kenley: she had Aquarius. Sadly, it’s not bad. Huge leg of mutton sleeves in purple plaid, a black leather bodice, and a bubble skirt in floral fabric overlaid with yellow chiffon. The top has a high neck. It doesn’t look like Aquarius, that’s for sure. Terri: Leo. The dress has a high collar and then it’s open through her chest, and there are huge red swaths of fabric over her shoulders like sleeves. Then there’s a tawny bodice, with strips of trim down the sides, and a gold skirt. I think the red looks better than the fur. Also there are two strips of red fabric down her back to the floor. Notice: no pants. Korto, Aquarius: the top is dark purple strips, draped over her arms and chest, and then an empire waisted dress with a flowing skirt, in shades of blue. It’s gorgeous. The back has pieces of fabric that are sewn to look like waves. Joe, Aries: the skirt has layers and layers of tiers, and the top has sheer sleeves and a sweetheart neckline. Very flamenco. It doesn’t remind me of a ram at all, but Aries is a fire sign and it’s all in shades of red, so that’s something. But I think I can see her stomach; it’s a two piece. Jerell, Sagittarius: a jacket in a dark print, with sleeves that seem to be made out of several layers of trim, ending in a gold fabric that is in the bodice of the dress. The dress has a long slim skirt, with flaps of fabric over the hips to give the model some curves. Also she has an arrow wound around her head. The top is backless. I like the shape of the skirt but the jacket is whack. Leanne, Scorpio: simple red dress, with black fabric loops and whorls over the top of it, standing away from her body slightly. It’s pretty cool looking, actually. Suede, Libra: blue sheer top (over a lighter blue tank top) and pants. The sleeves are bell sleeves, and there are two pieces of fabric hanging down her back, that are shaped like bells also, to suggest scales. The pants are harem pants so they end at her ankle.

Korto, Jerell, Leanne, and Joe are called forward. One of them is the winner. Heidi kicks them out so they can yell at the losers. Blayne tries to explain his whackadoo design, that he tried to make it unbalanced. Nina says it looks haphazard and wonky. Francisco doesn’t like it either, and when she turns around Kors says she’s pooping fabric. Not pretty. Terri wanted heat and she says that she changed the fur collar after yesterday. Kors asks what Keith and Terri’s signs are and says they are perfect together. Of course they make faces and Kors practically begs them to dish. Terri says Keith walked out on her (not wasting time pretending to be polite, I see) and Keith protests that she wouldn’t listen to him or talk to him. Kors tells her that her career will never go anywhere if she can’t work with others. Terri is mad, and I don’t think she’s listening. She says she is shocked by these comments. Kors thinks she has no taste. Nina tells Kenley her outfit has nothing to do with Aquarius, and Kenley practically yells back at Nina that her sign is about strength, and also purple. Nina responds that she just did whatever she wanted and ignored the challenge. Kors has seen it before, and he can name specific collections that it reminds him of. Kenley says she doesn’t look at collections, as I snicker. Nina smirks too. Kenley whines that this is avant garde, but Kors says that avant garde is something you haven’t seen, and he’s seen it. Take that, Kenley. Suede talks about scales, but it doesn’t push the envelope enough. Suede is talking about himself in the third person again, to make up for the first part of the episode. It’s expected, and not crazy enough. Tim said in his blog that Suede and Jerry actually really didn’t get along, and they also threw Tim under the bus since they ignored his advice. And we didn’t see any of it.

So apparently they aren’t going to talk about why the winners were great. Blayne’s outfit was a ridiculous joke, Heidi says that’s bad. Kenley didn’t do Aquarius, and didn’t care about the challenge at all, and was very defensive. Backstage she’s saying this is all BS. Nina hated Terri’s outfit and it looked cheap. Also she should have taken responsibility; even though Keith walked out, that happens all the time. Suede was boring, which you know is not a good thing. And FINALLY, Kors says Suede is not ready for the third person. Everyone laughs at Suede.

Everyone comes back out to the runway. Jerell wins. Even with that stupid arrow? But now we won’t know why he won! Man. Leanne, Korto, and Joe are dismissed. Kenley is in. Terri’s look was poorly made and tasteless, Blayne gave them a joke, and Suede’s look was safe and boring. Blayne is out. Well, now he can go tan. Heidi won’t even get up to kiss him. He’s baffled. Suede is in. Damn, I like Terri. She is totally shocked. Tim gives a double hug. Terri says people will still hear from her. Blayne tells everyone to be confident and go for it.

Next week: “special ladies”. Older women? Moms and daughters? Jerell wears leaves on his head. That’s all I got.
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Top Design 9/3/08--"Impress the Best" summary

Previously on Top Design: there was a first season that no one liked very much, at all. We watched it, having been sucked into Bravo Reality by “Project Runway” and “Top Chef”, but somehow it didn’t measure up. Supposedly it’s been fixed. They have a host now, India Hicks. Todd has the Tim Gunn role now, mentor but not judge. Kelly, Jonathan, and Margaret are all back. Let’s hope Kelly is still dressing like a weirdo. Oh look, her hair is all frizzy and she has a purple sequined beret! Excellent. Just an upfront, I don’t know nearly as much about interior design as I know about fashion and food, so who knows what will happen with this. I do know I’ll probably be doing a better job when “Project Runway” is over and I only have to recap one show a night. (click for more)

Meet the designers time! Nathan Thomas, from New York, says he will bring absolute chic. Ondine Karady decorated sets for Sex in the City. Nice. Shazia Kirmani has her own company. She says the thing that sets her apart from other designers is that she’s brown. Oo, I like her already. Kerry Howard is known as “Big Daddy.” Alrighty then. When he was a teenager his parents lent him $1000 to redo his room, and they were so impressed they asked him to do the rest of the house. Andrea Schroder is a mom, and her husband is Rick Schroder. Yes, that Rick Schroder. What is she doing here? That is too close to real celebrity, I don’t like this one bit. She’s only here because her kids are grown and she’s bored. Eddie Ross is senior style editor of Martha Stewart magazine. He shows up in a waistcoat and jeans looking terribly cute. Natalie Williams refuses to be intimidated by anyone. Preston Lee is tasty. He is showing quite a lot of chest. Wisit Prapong used to be in fashion. Hoping for another Goil, were we? Did you know Goil is on Trading Spaces now? It’s a good fit for his spazzing. Wisit actually has a really good operatic voice, very high.

In comes India and Todd. Oh, Todd. Cut your hair. You look stupid. India is a designer in her own right. She is Heidi, and Todd is Tim. Seriously, Todd has stupid long hair, and a plaid short sleeved buttoned up shirt, and sneakers. First challenge: they have 2 days to fully furnish and decorate an entire apartment. They’ll be divided into 4 teams. Since there are 13 people, one team will have an extra person, and they’ll be penalized by having less time. Todd talks with his hands a lot as he says that they should make sure their own points of view come through, as well as the client’s. Did they tell him to do that? He looks like he’s trying to direct traffic. Or possibly he’s a bad actor in a school play. They’ve already divided them into teams randomly.

More intros: Teresa Keegan is from Vegas. She’s on the red team with Wisit, Ondine, and Nathan. Green team is Shazia, Andrea, and Serge. Serge van Lian is eclectic. He says he “breaks the rules” so he’s probably supposed to be the bad boy. Eh. Semi cute. The blue team is Robert, Preston, and Kerry. Robert Reid, from Houston, has a broad style and attention to detail. The orange team is Eddie, Jennifer, and Natalie. Jennifer Newsom is an architect. She thinks she brings something original.

Off everyone goes to see the lofts. Thank goodness they’ve got real spaces this time. The orange team has to design for Jonathan Adler. Red team has Kelly. She looks normal today. Blue team has Margaret, Green team has India. Interesting. Everyone uses buzzwords and is very particular. The lofts have white walls and concrete floors. All of the judges have a few particular demands. They all know what they want. As the clients leave, they tell them they only have $2000 for the whole thing. They get to go to a flea market! Heh. Various people complain about how in their world $2000 will buy one thing.

The orange team has a concept: “chic and dreamy”. They are looking for bright colors. Red team’s concept is “form over function”. They want it sophisticated and subtle. Blue team is “crisp and glamorous”. Robert tries to override his teammates, and Preston thinks they might clash. Green team has decided on “Caribbean classic”. Andrea has done this style, so she’s kind of taking over. Serge thinks if he wants to win he has to speak up.

At the thrift store, team members get $500. Others go to the junkyard with the same budget. The rest of the money is for flooring and paint. And drapes. Serge tries to go outside the box. Natalie and Eddie run around and find stuff. Kerry and Robert are looking for crisp and modern at the junkyard. They find some gates. Preston has maxed out his budget and says Robert promised him a lamp. Which he did.

Everyone gets ready in the morning. Many without shirts. India comes to get them and makes them come up to the roof. Jonathan is there, with a table full of empty picture frames. India asks them if they remember pop quizzes, and now they will participate in something called “Pop Design”. They have to make shadowbox displays with the frames and things from inside the apartments they’re living in. This is an individual test, and somehow this will be taken in consideration at judging. Winner gets immunity. They’ve got 30 minutes and ten they’ll be displayed in the apartments. So this is like a Quickfire.

Running around, and frantic gluing. I think some people have used their own personal items. Shazia is trying to mount apples without glass. She didn’t even get it up on the wall. Andrea has rocks and a piece symbol, only the piece symbol is wrong. Wisit has fashion sketches and flowers. Eddie has silver stuff but it’s all his own. Natalie has a calendar and stuff for New Year’s. No one gets it. Robert has silverware and barware. Kerry has grass and woven pieces. Teresa has flowers and rocks. Jennifer has “strong women” which isn’t obvious from the design but it looks cool. Ondine just got married and she has a monkey theme. Serge has “breaking the rules” but it just looks random. Nathan has “cleanliness is next to godliness”, but he knows it’s stupid, plus he broke his glass so there’s glass all over the floor.

Natalie’s design was very high school, Serge doesn’t even know the rules, and Teresa’s was disappointing, Shazia didn’t even really get started. Favorites: Eddie had stuff on tops of boxes, Kerry made a beautiful abstract display, Ondine’s was sweet, and Wisit’s drawings were risky. All four of them have won immunity. Wow. Andrea quietly freaks out that both her teammates were in the bottom.

Everyone gets to work on the lofts. Nathan realizes that both his teammates have immunity, so if they lose, he’ll be leaving. Andrea realizes that they’ve got a whole 8 rolls of the wrong wallpaper. It looks like they wrote down the wrong number possibly. Preston chafes at Robert trying to be organized. Andrea takes the covers off the couch cushions and washes them in the sink. She says they’re really coming clean and then asks Shazia to turn off the sink in about 5 minutes. There is ominous music and a lingering shot of the sink so you know what is about to happen. Sure enough, Shazia goes upstairs to wash something else and the sink overflows all over all their fabric and wallpaper. Oops. Now there’s fabric all over the place, but at least Shazia right away owns up to it. Andrea is pretty pissed. The orange team has a lot to do. Jennifer is working on the sofa, because Jonathan really wanted it, but she’s kind of slow, apparently. No one on the blue team knows how to sew. Robert tries to figure out the sewing machine and Preston discovers that there is paint on the floor. He was painting canvas inside the loft, and it seeped through. Oops again. There is a lot of running around, because apparently they only have 4 hours tomorrow to finish.

In the morning, Ondine notices that Andrea’s husband looks an awful lot like Rick Schroder. Heh. Andrea is surprised she figured it out, except that as we see the picture, it’s pretty obvious. She says she’s not trying to keep it a secret, but she wants to be a separate person and have her own credibility. Serge is ready to get some work done.

Back at the lofts, everyone gets right to work. Nathan wants to redeem himself. Robert tries to tell Preston how to do the artwork, but he finally gives up and is like, whatever, I told you what I think. He goes off to make lamps. Jennifer is trying to build a dog bed. I hope that’s big enough. Eddie says every gay has a dog so it’s not a big deal.

Todd comes by to make comments, of course on the second day when there’s really nothing anyone can do to fix anything. He gives Nathan and his team good solid advice on how to hang their drapes. He loves the Orange team’s paint job. The blue team barely talks to him. Todd suggests Andrea make some pillows. I am just noticing, Todd has two armband tattoos. I was not expecting that. He says that time will be the big factor for everyone. There is plenty of last minute running around.

The orange team is up first. They didn’t put any floors in downstairs, but there are wood floors upstairs. It looks cozy, with light blue green on the walls downstairs up to about mid torso. Lots of blues and whites, but upstairs are some oranges. Jonathan loves the dog bed. There’s red and orange on the bed, with wood. And this fabulous lamp. The blue team has dark dusty rose sofas in the living room, with these great iron gates in the dining area, and a dark blue bathroom. Kelly points out there are no lamps so it’s a good thing they have a candelabra. The bedroom has dark wood and a dark blue bed, which looks very rich. But then the headboard has pink flowers. Still no lamps. No one owns up to that. Green team is next. Stupid crooked mirror on the floor next to the front door. India is worried about that. The couch looks like crap. I guess Andrea took out the stuffing, and told Shazia not to put it all back, but it looks like she put the extra stuffing in the cracks of the couch or something. The bed is white with red stripes. It’s kind of good. Andrea says she was in charge of the bedroom, and seems to be taking credit for everything. Red team has a very warm loft with dark leather and lots of dark accents, along with a great table with a mosaic top. The bedroom is in beige and wood and it’s pretty cool. I think I like the red team the best but I want the blue team’s iron gates.

The judging takes place in a huge open room, with the judges all together on a couch and India in a matching armchair. Jonathan liked his loft, and the style reflected the designers. He said it was a little Golden Girls but all in all it was great. The other team that did well was the red team. They listened to Kelly and had some great shopping finds. The red team wins! That was the team with an extra person, and you notice they didn’t show how they had less time to work. The orange team gets to leave the judgment room also. Margaret had demanded hot pink and not dusty rose so she was mad about that. Kerry blames it on Preston. Kelly liked the art in the kitchen but the bedroom was lame. India tries to get Preston to throw someone under the bus but he refuses. Kerry also refuses. Robert immediately says that Preston has horrid time management skills, and spent a lot of time scrubbing the floor when the paint seeped through the canvas. She says they didn’t get lamps, or think about how one lives in a loft, things like where to put your drink. Preston speaks up and says that it’s Robert’s fault they didn’t have any lamps, because he said he could get them done. India also feels like she gave her team a clear direction. Margaret thought that the bedroom worked but the rest didn’t. Shazia admits to ruining the sofa. Serge says he worked the whole time on the floors, and Andrea pipes up that eventually she made him stop working because it was taking too long. When Serge says “I disagree” she smiles the most smug, condescending smile at the judges and proceeds to describe all of the work she did. Then she says that her teammates don’t have talent. They ask if Andrea was the leader, and Shazia explains how Andrea knew the style so they just kind of let her run things. This team has no qualms about pointing the finger: Shazia and Andrea point at Serge, and Serge points at Shazia.

Margaret feels her loft was random, and the thing she got that she wanted was the point. And the desk, and then Kelly pipes up that she got the bar. Margaret protests that she did not ask for the bar, and Jonathan knowingly says, “You asked for the bar.” Hee. They continue to joke around some, which is cute. Finally when they stop Jonathan says that India’s loft was worse, although her bedroom was better. He thinks Andrea saved that loft, and Shazia’s story about the sofa bored him. Serge didn’t seem to contribute to the design very much. Margaret finds it difficult to figure out who is responsible for her horrid loft, because that team was so protective of each other, up until Robert threw Preston under the bus. In the waiting room Robert tells everyone not to take things personally. That takes some balls. Preston did work hard but he is responsible for the sofas in the wrong color. However, Robert should have known that making lamps was a poor use of time.

Kerry has immunity from the Pop Design challenge so he is safe. Andrea saved her team so she is also safe. So that’s how we’re viewing that, I guess. Preston bought the dusty rose sofas, Robert didn’t get the lamps done, Shazia hid behind Andrea and told a long story about the sofa, and Serge was labeled the weak link but didn’t defend himself well enough. India tells Serge they can’t live with his design so he’s going home. What, no catchphrase? He’s had a good experience, but he wished he could stay longer, etc.

This season: lots of running, breakage, I think more team challenges, drama. Oh you know there is drama. Santino! Andrae! DANIEL FRANCO! Oh, that’s going to be fun. And a short montage of Kelly’s odd clothes. Jonathan Antin that asshat that had that show Blow Out. Simon Noonan who is so precious. Oh man, I hope Santino asks for some super crazy nonsense.
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Project Runway 9/3/08--"Double O Fashion" summary

Previously on Project Runway: for some reason we had to make clothes out of car parts. Don’t get me wrong, it was pretty cool and all, but I still think it would have been better had they forced the designers to actually take the cars apart. Leanne won by making clothes that didn’t look like they were made from seat covers. Korto’s coat was also so awesome, but apparently weighs like 30 pounds. Keith’s clothes also didn’t look like car parts, but his were boring and the skirt was so jacked up he had to tell his model not to sit down. So he was eliminated. And a sentiment that I saw in multiple places: when he had his exit interview, he started bawling, which several people said was super hot. I guess it’s all those who wanted to “comfort” him and make him feel better. (Kmanpat: “Oh, yes. Let me make it all better.”) (click for more)

Kenley appears to be trimming her bangs in front of the mirror. Stella is making coffee with a ladle. In her bra. I mean, she’s only wearing her bra, not making coffee in her actual bra. Terri thinks she should be able to figure out how to make it. It’s strong. Suede had to move into the other boys’ apartment, because there are only 4 guys left! Interesting breakdown.

One of the models has her hair all up messy with a ribbon. That’s because they don’t tell you that the model selection happens the same day as your runway show, while the eliminated person is cleaning out their table. When you see the shot of her you can tell. Heidi brings out Tim to give them details on the next challenge, like he’s a special guest or whatever. He says they’ll be designing for a “fashion legend”. Leanne is relieved they won’t be designing for Tim. Oh, man, how cool would that be? And evil.

Field trip time! Everyone walks down the middle of the street. Blayne wants to design for Mary Kate Olsen and marry her. EW. Stella says they’re at the meatpacking district so it could be a lot of people. Inside the showroom they find Diane von Furstenberg. Awesome! Everyone seems pretty starstruck. Kenley starts to cry because this is the biggest opportunity ever for her. Well, I might be starstruck but hopefully I wouldn’t cry. Diane says that today they’ll be creating a look for her fall collection, inspired by the movie “A Foreign Affair”. Diane gives a short synopsis of the film (mainly the important parts are: spy, worldly woman, Berlin, Shanghai, New York) and they can see some of her looks that she’s already made. Tim reminds them that Diane works prints and colors like no other, so she’s allowing them access to her fabric room. Also, American Express will produce and market the winning look to AmEx members. Damn, I don’t have one of those.

Tim gives everyone 15 minutes to pick out fabrics from the sample room. Jerell is in heaven with all the expensive fabric. Kenley has some black and white print that reminds me of her zebra pattern she likes. Still crying. Stella can’t get a fabric down and no one will help her get it down. Finally Kenley starts pulling bolts down onto the floor. This room is a mess. Tim announces 5 minutes and apparently they have to cut their own fabrics. Heh. Terri has fireworks. She’s making more pants. She makes a lot of pants.

They’ve got 10 hours to work. Leanne is relieved to have immunity but she really wants to win while she has immunity. Everyone gets a lookbook to get ideas and to get a feel of the collection. Joe notices that she’s got a lot of layers, which is what he’d like to do, but that’s a lot of time. Kenley asks if everyone is doing 3 pieces, in that tone that makes it obvious she doesn’t want to have to do 3 pieces to keep up. Suede ditches his jacket idea, something about making a vest instead of the jacket, with camo and masculine fabrics, I was trying to tune out the third person. He’s sitting cross legged on the table like a little tailor. Blayne has too many colors. It’s like his neon dress from the New York challenge. He insults Terri for making pants again. Which she has, but to be fair, those are kick ass herringbone pants. While she’s in the sewing room showing off her pants to Korto, Blayne and Joe are mocking her firework fabric by singing the national anthem. Joe complains about her blazer/pants combo that she always does, which you will note hasn’t been attacked yet. Everyone hangs out for dinner and shares what they’re doing except Stella, who says it’s not Leanne’s business and she doesn’t trust Terri. Why, she’s going to copy you? That was weird. She seems not to care what everyone else is doing. Korto tells Terri she’s making the baddest vest, so you make one too and we’ll see who is best. I still can’t tell if Korto is joking or if she’s really tired of Terri. She hasn’t interviewed one way or the other.

Jerell reminds us that they’re designing clothes for a spy/traveling woman. Or whatever. I think he gets it. In the sewing room, everyone discusses what pressure it is to design for Diane von Furstenberg. Korto is making an evening gown. Stella is making a cape. OH! Joe and Jerell make ching chong noises. That’s not cool. Joe is making a blouse with an open back and a mandarin collar. Leanne has a cropped trench coat (?) and a long gown. She pretends to be a spy, sneaking around the workroom and calling herself “Leanimal”. It’s kind of cute. Suede says something in third person. Kenley asks Joe if her gown looks bulky and he says no, while gagging behind her back. The print actually isn’t bad but it’s got a high neck and that’s a lot of print. She’s still defensive about not making three pieces, and she loves her print, but she also picked that horrid floral print for the team challenge.

Tim time! Suede has sort of a military thing. The camo is bleh. Tim worries about the fullness of the skirt. We ALMOST get away without a third person Suede reference. Leanne has a gorgeous collar, but then the jacket is too long and it doesn’t go. Joe wants to make a hooded shawl with pockets. Tim says he will say he’s ambitious, so hopefully he gets it done. Korto’s jacket has full sleeves, and she wants to put yellow under the strap, but it’s kind of like a bra strap. She’s got the same print that the model has in those AmEx commercials. Stella has decided this character is from Paris and not Berlin. Oops. Tim reminds her that the judges want cohesion from all her pieces, unlike last time. Stella responds that the judges were just stupid and that “the stylist in the oversized muumuu dress and waistband didn’t know any better.” Tim tries to apologize to Rachel zoe but Stella says she really did mean it. Tim sees Shanghai in Kenley’s dress, which is simple and that’s OK, but she needs to watch the waistband she has planned.

After Tim leaves, Kenley beams about how Tim liked her dress. She and Stella discuss, again, about how big this challenge is. Kenley cries about it, again. She says she’s worked for Kmart and Walmart but this is much bigger. She’s almost crying in the workroom. Lots of flailing. Stella likes her outfit but it’s not really rock and roll. The vest is two-sided and the fabrics are different weights. She’s not listening to criticism.

The day of the runway show brings us Jerell in his underwear, which has a fun zigzag pattern. He hopes the fashion gods are on his side. The girls say everyone has a jacket. Stella is wearing leather pants that seem painted on.

Tim appears to give them 1 hour with their models. Kenley’s top has cap sleeves made out of feathers. The one she herself is wearing, I mean. Terri has no blouse. Damn. Kenley only has one piece, but she says that she’s already done so that makes her better than everyone else. Everyone freaks out and badmouths other people’s outfits. Lots of frantic working. Joe thinks his polished outfit will be hidden among all the other crap everywhere. His shirt is cropped. I think they’ll notice it. Stella works up until the very last minute.

The weekly poll: What should Heidi’s spy name be? A. Venus Schnitzel, B. Mata Hottie, or C. Mrs. Stiletto. Ugh.

Fern Mallis is here instead of Nina. She was sick for a couple of days, that’s what’s up with that. Joe: pink mandarin collared top with frog closures, a darker pink sash, black skirt, hooded sleeveless coat thing. It does not look like a shawl. The sash at least means there isn’t any skin showing. The top has long tight sleeves and a big keyhole opening in the back. Leanne: long dark blue dress with a cropped jacket. Actually the jacket hits at her hips so it’s not that cropped. The dress has a short train, I think. The tope is draped in a cowl neck and the back of the skirt has a ruffle up to her waist. It’s very elegant but the jacket doesn’t go. Terri: herringbone trousers, black coat that looks like it’s made of fur, blouse. The coat has wide lapels but they look cool. The blouse has a ruffle down the front and you can’t really tell the print is fireworks. Jerell: dark blue miniskirt, copper blouse and brown coat. Over the blouse and coat is a neon blue belt which does not go at all. The coat is pretty open in that you can see almost her entire chest, and there’s a giant brooch. The blouse has a high neck. And remember that hat he wore that time, the green one? She’s got a small dark blue hat. At least this is supposed to be kind of period. Korto: long black and white print dress with a yellow underskirt. You can see the same yellow under the straps in the halter top. Then over that is a black cropped jacket with wide sleeves. I hate to say it but I don’t like it at all. The skirt looks weird and the jacket is cut in such a way that you can see skin on either side of the straps of the dress. It just looks like they don’t go. Blayne: dear God in heaven. Those are knee length harem pants. They are very wide and balloony, and then at the knee there is a band to bring them in, and then they end. Also they are polka dotted. Above the waist she looks pretty good; fitted jacket in black, with a poofy blouse in a colorful print. The jacket has a high collar. Blayne says that Diane was giving him the “googly eye” when she met them and that she must love a tan. I think your headband is too tight. Suede: long dress in a green and brown print, and a vest in grey with black trim. That vest doesn’t go. The dress is OK. Stella: pants and a vest in a brown pinstripe, and a cape. The pants are a little wide, and the cape is wrist length and black. The vest looks like crap, like she tried to put a peplum and it failed. (A peplum is what Kenley put on her model last week, that thing made out of air filters). It looks like she messed it up. Kenley: slim dress with a high collar. There is black trim at the hem and the collar. To be fair, I do like her print. Actually I like her dress but I don’t like Kenley.

Terri, Jerell, and Blayne are safe. See, you bitch about Terri and her always making pants, but she is ALWAYS in the middle. Korto goes first, and Diane asks to see it without the jacket. She loves the yellow. Fern thinks you can see the Shanghai influence. Everyone likes the jacket, so apparently I know nothing. Joe goes next. You can see the shawl is shiny. No one likes the open back, and when you look at the back of the skirt you can see that all the hems are uneven. Kors says that’ll make magazines in the “What was she thinking?” pages. Kenley talks about her one piece that she made, and almost cries, but Heidi right away reminds Diane that her lookbook had a lot of layering. Kenley tries to defend herself by saying that she thought Diane needed a simple dress. Heidi keeps attacking her for being lazy and only making one thing, but Diane finally states she likes it so Heidi shuts up. Kors and Fern like it too. Heidi must be pissed. Stella goes next, and Diane likes the mix of tweed and shiny fabric, but the cape is not cut properly? It’s a magician’s cape or something but not a cape for a woman to wear out on the town. Kors doesn’t like the construction and says the crotch is every woman’s nightmare and “she’s got something missing, if you know what I mean!” No, no I don’t know. What are you talking about? She’s a girl! Just say it’s insane. Leanne’s men’s jacket and long gown is a great combination. I forgot this is a look for a very famous designer’s collection and nothing ever makes any sense. Suede’s dress has too much fabric in the hip (there’s a sash tied there) and the back of the skirt is slit which is weird. In this case, they hate the herringbone. I don’t get this at all. How is Leanne’s jacket a wonderful contrast, but Suede’s vest, which doesn’t go any better, makes everyone think she got dressed in the dark? I mean, the vest was pretty bad, but I don’t think the random jackets were so much better.

Good: Kenley (simple and well designed, not costumey, but needs another piece), Leanne (met the challenge, mixed the influences, lots of good design), Korto (all the pieces were interesting, great neckline). Bad: Suede (the dress is boring and the vest is stupid, not good enough), Joe (the back was jacked up and looked homemade and messy, so it looked like he didn’t think about that), Stella (the cape isn’t cut right, they could see her vision but the execution was poor).

Korto is in. Leanne gives her a look of sympathy. Leanne wins. She is so thrilled, it’s so cute. Kenley is in. Suede is in. Joe’s look had too much going on, and Stella’s three pieces were all done poorly. Stella is out. She actually rolls her eyes which is great. She tells Heidi that her ego is too big to be here anyway. Huh? She says she did Stella 100% so she’s not worked up at all. Tim calls it an ebullient departure. She says “If you like my stuff, come buy it, if not, keep walking.” Stella to the end.

Next week: I think family members. Special guests that everyone is excited to see, anyway. Everyone is starting to hate each other. Someone is pooping fabric.

P.S. I recapped "Top Design" too! Check the post after this one.

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Project Runway 8/27/08--"Fashion That Drives You" summary

Previously on Project Runway: the most fabulous challenge ever occurred. Drag queens. Oh, it was fun. There wasn’t as much drama as I thought, though. Lots of sequins, and crazy bright colors, and other fun things. Joe won with a pink sequined jumpsuit. The straight guy, I know! It was pretty cool. Korto made flames for her queen. (Kmanpat: “As if she’s not putting out enough of her own. The queen, not Korto.”) Keith made some weird black and white mess, but Daniel did not use one sequin and so went home. His dress was OK, and in another challenge might have survived. But it was too boring for this challenge, especially for a drag queen named Annida Greenkard. Either one could have gone home, I think. Ah, but it was satisfying to see those designers freak out about having to put dresses on men. (click for more)

Kenley is all sad that Daniel is gone, probably because he’s the only one who will put up with her. Keith can’t handle being in the bottom two. I can’t handle his little glasses and newsboy cap. Yum. He says he wants to change the way the world dresses. (Kmanpat: “You can start by wearing fewer clothes.”)

Heidi makes the models come out, which sucks because Daniel’s model is up and they didn’t even use her. This system has flaws. Heidi is wearing some striped thing, it’s weird. She sends them on a field trip, but without Tim, to some rooftop. And then she’s like, hurry up slackers! Blayne…babbles about “rooftop style”. Whatever.

The address is a parking garage. Hee. Will they make clothes based on cars? Like that one guy first season? I think it was Robert. He was always saying that women were cars and had hot curves or whatever. I can’t believe I remember that. Terri says it’s always scary to see what’s coming. Yeah, they’ve had some crazy stuff. Oh. Oh no. There ARE cars all lined up. Dude. Tim is there with Chris Webb who is a tiny British man. They’ve got 5 Vue Hybrids, and the guy says some stuff about how much of the car is recyclable, and then he reveals the challenge: “recycle” the car materials into clothes. HA! Everyone craps their pants. I thought it would be trash. Inside each car are piles of materials that are used to make the cars. So they don’t have to tear the cars apart? That’s no fun. Tim tells them their first challenge about innovation sucked ass and they’d better bring it now.

Everyone gets a roller cart and goes crazy. There are seat covers, seat belts, upholstery materials, floor mats…somehow this is right up Joe’s alley. Jerell is getting dashboard stuff. They only have 4 minutes. Jerell also has a headlamp. I think they’ve also got engine parts and stuff. Stella says rushing is embarrassing? What? She’s just standing around. Terri can’t even carry all her stuff.

They have until midnight and winner gets immunity. Another reminder about innovation and Tim tells them to have fun! Haha! Everyone seems to be rummaging, breaking stuff, tearing things apart. This was so fast that people tended to grab whatever they could and now they’re trying to figure out what’s going on. Joe offers to trade a carburetor for a light. Keith freaks out because he knows he has to please the judges. Stella has a headlight, it looks like, and she has no idea what to do with it. She says that making a leather dress wouldn’t be innovative. The ONE challenge where she could make a leather dress with hardware, and she won’t do it. Suede is making tops from the rubber floor mats and he has injured himself breaking glass and cutting things. Can’t say as I care very much, although he does say “I” a couple of times.

Stella mutters to herself about doing something cute, and she says she’s making tiers of seat belt straps for a skirt. Everyone agreed with me that she should do things with leather. Suede talks about a car his dad gave him. Also his dress, but that’s before the random story about dead family members. Keith is using some leather to make a short pencil skirt. He’s more worried about what the judges will think than what he will design, and he knows that’s not a good place to be. It has to be more constructed. Korto is weaving seat belts in what looks like a big coat. Kenley is drawing on what looks like air filters with a sharpie. She says everyone was going to use seatbelts so she didn’t want to. So she’s drawing a zebra print. Zebra print = not innovative. Blayne’s trying to make a flowing gown out of seat belts but all of the sewing machines are jacked up from people sewing seat belts and leather. He thinks he might have to sew it all by hand, which would suck. Jerell is quite pleased with himself but doesn’t explain why he’s not worried about the machines. Leanne’s outfit is all black, and there are some jokes about it snapping at the crotch. She says no, and whoever said it (I think it’s Blayne) is like, forget that then. It’s made from a seat cover. Stella has a weird hat/helmet thing. She starts talking about Planet of the Apes. Terri asks Keith what he thinks of her design, and he’s like, I wouldn’t know, apparently I have bad taste. Don’t be whiny. Terri interviews that she needs this show because she’s trying to start her own label, and she doesn’t want to go back to her own job.

Tim comes to deliver models. Kenley’s model has dropped out. WTF? That’s the second model this season! Maybe the models realize that they’re going to be sitting out like, every other week, so they’re taking other jobs. Korto’s weaving is coming along. Stella is far enough behind that her model is trying on muslin mock-ups. It fits, luckily, so she gets right to work. Kenley whines that her model “bailed on [her]”, as if the girl did it just to spite Kenley. Wait, maybe she did. Jerell reminds her that models also have to eat. Kenley responds “Well, it’s all about me right now, so, I can be mad.” She’s all upset and freaking out, but since I don’t like her I don’t care. I find that I don’t even care enough to gloat.

Tim time! Blayne is changing his design because he realized it was too much to finish. Somehow his gown is molded? To give it shape? It’s sewn into the shape it has, I think. Tim just leaves him to work. Jerell has a bodice and some plastic things for panels. It looks pretty good. Korto’s coat has a 60’s mod look right now that is great. Stella’s look isn’t very innovative, but it is out of her comfort zone. Leanne’s dress is well executed, but we don’t see much of it. She’s making fringe from seatbelts, I think. Actually her dress has a lot of volume at the hips but it’s well constructed. Keith is making a corset to make his dress have clean lines. And some straps to make a tank top. Tim is kind of bored but he just says for Keith to make sure he’s bought into the design. Tim lets everyone know he’s excited and don’t screw it up.

Korto’s coat is so stiff that the arms stick out by themselves. Terri is laughing so hard she falls on the floor, and she makes some comment about scarecrows or something, and Korto mutters that she’s hating on Terri. Jerell snobs that Terri doesn’t know how to talk to people, but Korto might just be joking around. I don’t see Jerell being everyone’s friend. Then he ruins it in interview by telling us like 5 times that Terri is two-faced. You only need to say it once, honey. Keith complains to the sewing room that people should fix the machine when they’re done with it, and then he stomps out. Blayne says that he’s gotten really cranky and is slamming stuff and whatever. Keith says everyone’s there to win but he deserves it more than others.

At home, Stella calls her boyfriend “Ratbones” to chat. They’re going to start their own line called “Zotis and Bones” which is a cool name. She says the show is really hard, but she wants to get exposed. That’s the word she used. I’m calling this as bad editing. In the morning everyone gets ready and Korto is ready for a fight.

Tim gives everyone an hour with their models. Kenley is flailing. Keith tells his model she can’t sit down and he has to work on the top now. Everyone thinks they’re going to win. Tim gives everyone 10 minutes, which is when Keith discovers that his model did actually sit down and has torn the skirt. He’s like, “I knew you were going to sit down.” So why did you put it on her? She had to get her hair and makeup done. At first it looks like it might just be a little tear at the hem but there’s a much bigger tear further up. He says there’s more at stake for him than for her, and he’s pissy that he “gave a model a small task” and she ruined his chances or whatever. Keith, honey, shush. You’re turning into a jerk and while my eye candy is often incompetent it makes me sad when they’re jerks. Leanne has stuffed muslin into her model’s underwear so the sides of the skirt don’t cave in. Keith is now even telling his model to watch her breathing. You made it wrong, if it’s so fragile. Seriously.

Poll: Which designer would you like to hop in the backseat with? A. Blayne, B. Kenley, or C. All of them? WTF kind of stupid answers are those? Blayne? Ugh. (Kmanpat: “D. Wesley)

Heidi tells us that Nina is gone today. But are we stuck with Anne Slowey? Never! It’s Laura Bennett! Oh, I hope she rips someone a new one. The real guest judge is Rachel Zoe.

Jerell: strapless bustier in the suede side of the car seat (a putty color) with the silver plastic pieces at the top and in panels in the middle. Inside the panels and under the part at the top is black vinyl. The skirt is black vinyl. It’s really really short. Her hair is in a ponytail that is like, 3 feet tall. Keith: short putty skirt and a halter top made from cargo netting, apparently. It actually looks like real clothes. Terri: tight pants and black top, made from carpets and seat cushions. It also looks like real clothes. Kenley: black vinyl vest and pencil skirt made from window shades, with the ruffle out of air filters or whatever. I don’t like the skirt proportions and the ruffle is really wide. Leanne: black dress with jodhpur hips, and fringe along the bustline made from seat belts. They don’t look like seat belts. I love it. Suede: black one shouldered top from floor mats, and silver fringy skirt from sun visors. The top is really stiff but the skirt is kind of cool. Korto: seat belt coat. It looks quilted and it’s fab. Blayne: long dress made out of seatbelts. He draped them vertically, and the skirt isn’t all sewn together so it moves. Then there are bits of broken mirrors along the chest in a V. The top fits horribly but it is made from seat belts. Joe: black sleeveless top and short skirt in black with seat belt accents. He also took the car logo panel in red and made that into the front panel of the shirt. It kind of reminds me of a NASCAR racing suit. Stella: top from leather and suede, with stitching to hold it shut, and seat belt skirt. The seat belts are horizontal. Her model looks dead. Like, she’s walking all slow and it’s boring.

Terri, Suede, Joe, and Kenley are safe. Terri looks pissed. Jerell gets to start, and he talks about how the plastic parts look futuristic and he loved it. Rachel thinks it’s so great and smart. The styling is over the top but appropriate, and the clothes are wearable. Blayne just saw seat belts and took as many as he could grab. Laura likes the idea but she is too distracted by the crappy fit in the bodice. Kors says he always hates a car wash skirt. Rachel thinks that if it was sewn to the knee, or if the fringe ended at the knee, that would be better. Heidi jokes about breaking mirrors, which she says causes 7 years of no sex. Blayne is unconcerned. Laura and Rachel love Korto’s coat. Rachel would wear that right now. Kors talks about restrained drama. Leanne’s dress gets high praise. The back of the skirt flares out a little bit, so it looks less like jodhpurs. Kors can’t shut up about how awesome it is. It’s very well made, too. Stella talks about her comfort zone, and there’s a close-up so you can see the skirt isn’t sewn well. Laura says the two pieces don’t go together. Kors agrees, and they pan to the skirt again. There are the horizontal belts, and then a vertical seat belt, but the vertical one isn’t sewn right so there are big gaps. Keith says that first thing, he wanted to make something that didn’t look like it came from a car at all, and also to make it clean. The back…there’s some cargo netting, you can see her bra, the belt is just tacked together, and there’s a gap between the belt and the skirt, like a notch where he just didn’t finish. The back looks BAD. Keith explains how his model was “forced” to sit down to do hair and makeup and he had to fix it. Laura is bored. She says she doesn’t see an idea, and Keith says she should have seen his other stuff. Laura is like, “Excuse me?” Oh this should be good. Keith complains that when he did other stuff that took it to an extreme, there wasn’t as much “appreciation” as he wanted. Kors, for some reason, is almost nice, and tells Keith they weren’t trying to rein him in, necessarily. Keith continues complaining that he put so much work into his last outfit and they called it a “dowdy chicken” which hurt. OK, so 1. it was “sad chicken” so get it right, and 2. it was a sad chicken. He thinks they weren’t criticizing but insulting him. Kors basically tells him to cowboy up and deal. Heidi sends them away which means that Laura didn’t get to put anyone in their place. Dang.

Good: Jerell (very dramatic, wearable, sexy), Korto (chic, beautiful, elegant), Leanne (flawless, risky but cut perfectly). Bad: Stella (the pieces didn’t match, too much for the eye), Blayne (too many ideas at once, too long, not well made), Keith (lacking inspiration, not flattering, blaming the model and the critic doesn’t go over well with Kors).

Poll question: America wants to makeout with all the designers at once. Strumpets.

Jerell is in. Leanne wins. Yay! She’s so cute she does a little dance behind the scrim. Korto is in. Blayne is in. Keith wasn’t innovative, and Stella was not surprising. Stella is in. I have got to stop watching editing for clues. In his exit interview Keith’s crying. Like serious crying, he can’t even talk. It’s most upsetting that he went home for presenting something that wasn’t even his aesthetic. He says in Utah he doesn’t have opportunities to get out, but he’ll show someday. Time to move to New York.

Next week: Designing for Diane von Furstenberg! I like her. Everyone freaks out. Drama! Crying! Insane crotches!

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Project Runway 8/20/08--"Good Queen Fun" summary

Previously on Project Runway: everyone had to make clothes for Brooke Shields to wear on her TV show. Once again some people didn’t listen to the challenge, which was a day-to-evening look. Shorts are not day-to-evening. However, Blayne’s shorts were saved by Kelli’s cheap and slutty bustier with animal print. Since it was a team challenge, and Kelli was in charge, she went home, even though she tried to sell Daniel down the river in her place. Terri said something totally inappropriate about Suede, which was hilarious, making me like her a lot. Kenley became really annoying and now I want her to go. I mean, laughing at Daniel during judging? When he’s not even part of your team and no one is talking to you? Ugh. (click for more)

Someone has put up a Post-it in one of the apartments that says “too much drama!” Of course. Korto says that Daniel is too safe and that is the wrong strategy. Except she says that after she expresses her non-shock that Kelli went home so…shouldn’t your strategy involve not going home? In the other apartment Joe and Blayne discuss how Keith’s skirt was all raw cut chiffon and it shouldn’t have won. Joe thinks the judges are blind.

Heidi appears and brings the velvet bag of doom, but does not discuss models. She says she has a special guest to help announce the next challenge. Behind the scrim is a very large figure in a dress and giant Viking helmet with horns. Everyone expresses dismay and confusion until we hear Chris March’s laugh. He appears in opera singer garb, complete with sequins and a bra he made from a disco ball. I mean, I don’t have proof of that, but judging from the shape and size, it’s pretty likely. Each side is half the ball, plus a cross shaped piece to hold it together. OH! What if it SPINS?!?! That would be the best. (Kmanpat: “I don’t think my brain could handle it if that thing spun.”) Suede labels it a yodeling outfit. Sadly the bra does not spin. When he gets over to Heidi she can’t greet him properly because his boobs are too big. Then you can see how Chris remembered to put on false eyelashes but did not shave off his goatee. The shots of the designers show how nervous they are. Chris announces the best challenge ever: design an outfit for a drag queen! No one seems thrilled, and Blayne says “too much drama” although I’m not sure where that came from. Terri shares my opinion of this challenge and says she loves drag queens. Awesome. Then the models come out. Korto says that they are huge and there is too much to look at. Stella looks pretty pissed, which is weird, since I bet at least one of them would like a leather outfit. Everyone introduces themselves, which is also super entertaining because they of course have names such as Farrah Moans and Sharon Needles. All of them have a sound bite, which is weird, because some of them sound really rehearsed, like they were forced to come up with one and then they practiced it. Some of them seem almost shy. Anyways, Chris encourages them to be over the top and go all out. Everyone picks clients, and Keith picks one with great legs. Seriously, I wish my legs looked like hers. Everyone else picks their clients and manages not to look too uncomfortable. Heidi leaves with Chris and they discuss going to get pretzels and beer. Hee.

Tim comes in and says that each of their clients has a particular persona and they have to match it. He also says to go over the top, so you know a bunch of them won’t. They’ll have 30 minutes to meet, and then the rest of today and all day tomorrow to sew. Brooke Shields gets one day and the drag queens get two? Also all the outfits will get auctioned off for Broadway Cares which is an HIV/AIDS charity. Time for consultations. Joe winces as Suede’s client (Hedda Lettuce) makes herself known in a loud fashion. Jerell’s client says she doesn’t need costumes. Korto is going for reds and oranges. Blayne is thrilled to have color, but he demands tasteful. Leanne is talking Jetsons and futuristic, but I think she has it confused with her client’s actual look which is Goth. Those are not the same. Joe quietly freaks out in the corner. No, he tries to talk to his client, but he interviews that he cannot wrap his brain around any part of this challenge so he’s going to pretend he’s making a Halloween costume. Daniel is going couture. As they file out of the workroom one of them says “Tim call me!” He just laughs, but I think he’s blushing.
Shopping time! $200 for fabrics and sundry. Terri is buying as much as she can because Acid Betty is like 7 feet tall. Stella sadly did not get either of the two models that matched her best, so she can’t do a whole leather outfit. Kenley wants old Hollywood.

Tim lets them begin knowing the winner will have immunity. Keith complains that he didn’t get immunity when he won so he feels he deserves it. Yeah, but your outfit is supposed to be on TV, and not basic cable either, so shush. Joe is convinced to put on “the boobies” and he dances a stupid white boy dance. You see, since these are drag queens, the normal female dress forms won’t work. They’re too small in addition to being shaped wrong. So they’ve been given male dress forms, which they have to alter in some way so they have breasts. Joe’s client kindly left her boobies behind so he’d be able to fit her better. Daniel was not so lucky and is reduced to begging Kenley to remove her bra. That goes over much as you’d expect. Korto seems really really lost. Joe stops freaking out. Terri opines that these girls are serious like Miss America. Hee. Blayne starts with the “licious” BS again and I try not to listen. Stella, and Keith, and Leanne all give the same basic interview, which is “Shut up, Blayne.”

Somehow we skip to day 2. I guess nothing else happened. There are sequins and brightly colored fabrics scattered everywhere. Jerell fills us in on his middle-class background. Suede babbles about his dead grandfather and seeds? I don’t know OH DEAR GOD HE’S MAKING ROSETTES. (Kmanpat: “You go, Angela.”) Then he says he still misses his grandfather so I kind of feel bad for making fun of that. But not the rosettes. Keith has more fringe, which he says is different from the other fringe. Kenley runs to tell everyone, because that is how she is. Although this does bring up a good point, which is that there is a lot of trash talking this season. A lot. Do they ask them in confessional to comment on everyone else’s clothes? Because I don’t remember anyone having time to notice before in other seasons.

Tim sends in everyone’s clients for fittings. I do a double take along with the designers because no one is in makeup or drag. Terri tells her client she has no problem with a wardrobe malfunction. Korto for some reason promises us she’s dressed plus size women before, an they’re people too, etc. it’s that kind of defensive “I’m totally open-minded!” that always seems like the person is trying too hard, even if they are totally sincere. Someone tries to comment on the outfit and Sweetie says “I didn’t ask you, other designer” and then he badmouths Kenley’s outfit. Hee. (Editing note: I wasn’t sure if a drag queen was “she” or “he” when out of costume and makeup but we think it’s “he”. Apologies if that is wrong.) Jerell has a big collar but his client isn’t thrilled. Joe has made a sequined pink jumpsuit. Wow. Suede’s rosettes freak out Hedda Lettuce and he says he feels Godzilla-ish. There is a coat with cap sleeves, and a dress, and the gloves with rosettes. Then he asks for sleeves. Why would you have sleeves with gloves that come past your elbows? Suede doesn’t have sleeves, and the response is, “Were you being lazy with the gloves because you didn’t want to put sleeves on the outfit?” Huh? Making gloves from scratch is less work than putting sleeves on a jacket? On what planet? Terri sticks up for her friend with a well placed “oh no she di’int!” Suede gets pissed and says he’s doing what he wants. After everyone leaves Suede shares his annoyance and everyone backs him up. Then they call Hedda Lettuce “Soggy Lettuce” and snicker.

Tim time! And Chris March too! They love Korto’s flames on her outfit. I do too, they look really cool. She’s still working on the skirt. Blayne has bright blue and then somehow pink triangles? They look like kites and they attach to her shoulders and then ribbons hang down. Tim declares it “pterodactyl out of a gay Jurassic Park”. Ha! The whole room laughs. Blayne…loves it. No, he thinks it’s the best compliment ever. Chris loves Joe’s garment, especially since he changed the collar so the jumpsuit is less “Elvis” and more “Navy”. Well, as Navy as you can get in pink sequins. Chris loves Suede’s gloves and rosettes. I don’t know. Tim puts on his bitch pants and says Suede should make Hedda wear the gloves and say don’t mess with me, sister. Interesting. Keith has some fringe…he says he’ll “sculpt” it on his client tomorrow. Tim and Chris don’t have anything nice to say. Daniel has yellow and orange in an eye-searing combination. The skirt is wonderful but the top is kind of plain. It’s totally flamenco, though, so that’s something. Daniel makes Blayne try on his dress. I don’t know. Blayne thinks it’s not over the top enough. Jerell knows he has to sell his outfit something fierce.

The day of the show everyone comes back in to finish. Tim gives them 1 hour with their models, who enter the workroom in various stages of makeup/wigs. Some have all their makeup, some have very little, some have no wigs, some have hair already done. Who knows? Terri says her outfit is entirely her point of view and she just has to hope her client likes it. Keith says that his client didn’t want him to trim any of the fringe. Suede is still working, and he tells Hedda that he made some changes but in the end they have to agree. More like she has to agree with him. They kind of make up. I bet the hair and makeup people have never seen anything like this. Korto says it’s love or hate with her outfit. Stella is standing on a chair to finish sewing.

Heidi appears to introduce the guest judge: RuPaul. I must say, girl needs some new extensions. Kenley and Farrah Moans: silver sequined dress with black and white ostrich plumes in a giant collar. It’s kind of Showgirls, but more modest. Not classic and Marilyn Monroe. Kors is dying. Blayne and Miss Understood: short hot pink and electric blue dress, black belt, and fishnets. Then there are those wing things, trailing ribbons. It hurts my eyes. Joe and Varla Jean Merman: neon pink sailor suit. With flared legs, a wide collar, and a wide low-slung belt. It’s pretty good, actually. Stella and Luisa Verde: black long dress, with a pink plaid panel in the front and down the back. There’s a train too. And grommets. I think it’s strapless with sheer sleeves tacked on. Suede and Hedda Lettuce: VERY short skirt and top in green, then the cap sleeved jacket, then the gloves and stupid rosettes. Daniel and Annida Greenkard: yellow and orange halter top and flounced skirt. You know what fabric it might be? The one Wendy Pepper made her swimsuit out of. The one with the wavy corset back. It’s not terribly over the top but it’s nice. Terri and Acid Betty: red and black shiny corset, over a white kimono with a silver collar and long traditional sleeves with a blue stripe down the center. Very short. Jerell and LeMay: a pretty normal looking dress in gold, blue, and black. The fabrics are cut in vertical stripes that swirl, and the hem is frayed or maybe it’s beads. There’s a big collar that she pops up at the end of the runway. Korto and Sweetie: red sequins everywhere, and then these narrower pieces up by her face like flames. Like a giant corsage. And then a big poofy skirt that comes off too. Hee. Even Nina is laughing. Keith and Sherry Vine: miniskirt and the top doesn’t seem to meet in the middle, but I think that’s on purpose. Lots of skin. The fringe isn’t interesting. She looks pissed but that might just be her. He says it’s different from all his other work. Leanne and Sharon Needles: black and grey dress with an angular skirt and collar. There are pieces in both that stick out and look pointy. There’s blue in the skirt.

Blayne, Kenley, Suede, Stella, and Leanne are safe. Terri calls her look “super samurai”. RuPaul loves it. Nina says it’s mahogany (Mahogany?) crossed with KISS. Hee. Kors likes the boots. Keith pretends he achieved “sex kitten”. When Heidi calls it messy he says that “rock and roll” can be messy. Nina is confused, and Kors calls her a sad chicken. Ouch. RuPaul even has suggestions. They bring up how he’s been called on his messiness before. Joe (who is dwarfed by his client, hee) wanted to show off her assets. Namely her ass. She looks amazing but is also covered up. Everyone loves all of it. Jerell was going for “Hollywood glamour” but RuPaul says that the dress is too long. Even though it hits her knee. So her legs look too short. Kors calls it too normal. Wow. He says one of his aunts would have worn that dress. Oh, that’s cold. Korto went for fire and she went out there. Everyone knows she had fun, made a flattering shape, looked great. Daniel wanted something soft but still looking flamenco. This was a moment to do fantasy and Nina wanted sequins and stuff. Daniel says that would have caused him to throw up, which can’t be a popular opinion. Heidi wants more drama. Daniel wanted “drag” but not “showgirl”. Uh, duh. Everyone rolls their eyes because he doesn’t get it. RuPaul says these girls got to make their money!

Good: Terri (everywhere you looked there was something interesting), Joe (showstopper outfit, the belt hides “the candy”, it has attitude), and Korto (innovative, Sweetie felt good in it so everyone is happier). Bad: Keith (messy, not paying attention to the body ever), Jerell (too long, too much like any costume you could find anywhere), Daniel (didn’t fit the challenge, no one wants to wear it, too defensive). Kors knows that both times Daniel’s failed to meet the challenge at all, he gets defensive when criticized which is probably why he keeps doing it.

I missed this week’s poll question when they asked it, but apparently 54% of respondents would rather see Tim in drag, as opposed to Kors. I say, ew to both. They would make terrible women.

Terri is in. Joe wins! I liked Korto’s better, but Joe did do a really good job. He’s thrilled and more confident about making it to the end. Terri looks kind of pissed for some reason, probably because she feels robbed again. Korto is in. Jerell is in. Daniel didn’t go over the top and had too many excuses. Keith’s outfit was random and unpolished and they’d seen it before. Daniel is out. He thinks he’s letting people down somehow. Everyone seems sad, especially Keith for some reason. He reiterates his taste level.

Next week: field trip. Industrial work, with everyone wearing heavy gloves. Trash? I think it’s trash. And LAURA BENNETT is the guest judge. Oh, I hope she rips someone a new one.
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Project Runway 8/13/08--"Welcome to the Jungle" summary

Previously on Project Runway: Bravo thought it would be great if we had another Post Office challenge, and then they remembered how awesome the figure skating challenge was. “Hey, why don’t we combine them! It’ll be doubly awesome!” So the designers were asked to design outfits for the Olympic opening ceremonies. Not for the men, though, and not to actually be worn in the Olympics. That was just as well because there was an awful lot of crappy nonsense and costumes. Korto won with a light all white outfit, which was pretty cool. Terri and Joe also followed the challenge. Daniel made a cocktail dress (for someone whose sport is drinking, a sport which I support) but Jennifer’s skirt/cardigan combo was enough to send her home. She’s been making the interview rounds and explaining that her design philosophy was not “surrealism meets cute” but that she had two “characters” in her line. Why she didn’t make two separate lines, who knows. Also she says that Tim liked her outfit. (click for more)

Korto is very happy to have immunity so she can leave drama to everyone else. Daniel says he won’t be on the bottom again. Snerk. Blayne almost walks out of the house without shutting the door.

Heidi lets Korto choose models but she keeps her model. Jennifer’s model is about to cry. Heidi (who is in a shiny General Zod look today) says that they have to design for a “high powered and glamorous professional woman”. This to Blayne says Hillary Clinton. He can’t win with a neon pantsuit, although I would love to see that. (Kmanpat: “Pantsuits are not glamorous.”)

Everyone goes back to the workroom to brainstorm. Someone says Heidi, which is probably a good guess, also Nancy Grace (ugh) and Joan Rivers (uh, not glamorous). Stella would love Sharon Osbourne, which would be cool. Tim appears and calls in Brooke Shields. They try to make it all dramatic reveal, but we all already knew this since last week. Suede is old enough to remember her as a Calvin Klein model. No one interviews that they don’t know who she is, thank God. Their challenge is to design a look for her character on “Lipstick Jungle”, which is a show I’ve never seen so I don’t know if it is any good or not. It’s a day to night look, for a high powered executive/mom, except that she’s got some event in the evening so there won’t be any mom looks. Oh, how I wish Laura were here. She’d nail this one. Tim has dossiers for everyone that have pictures from last season, so they can get a sense of how they usually dress the character. Oh, and Tim has one last bombshell: everyone has to partner up! Haha! Kenley is worried because some people are clueless. Everyone gets 30 minutes to sketch and then pitch ideas to Brooke. So it’s basically like the Miss America challenge, or any other challenge where pitching the look becomes important, so later when it doesn’t turn out right the judges can come down on them for failing to execute their design.

Jerell knows he has to really fit the challenge after last week’s hat. Keith is making adjustable sleeves, I think. Kelli is equating bohemian (which is how Brooke described her character) with leopard print. Daniel says he’s extremely talented and then discusses his background. Not always a good sign, editing-wise.

Suede actually says “I” as he’s talking. He’s so much less annoying. Kelli still has leopard. Kenley has a boat neck. Blayne has walking shorts. Interesting. Keith says layered fringe is his thing. He talks about her legs, eh. Stella has a corset, for work. We’re not really seeing a lot of people’s designs, so much as getting sound bites of people talking. They seem to have it together for the most part. No Daniel Franco awkward flirting.

Back in the workroom Brooke says that she will wear the winning outfit on “Lipstick Jungle”. But the big question is: how is anyone going to know that’s your outfit? Keith is the first one picked, so he’s pleased. The rest of the chosen are Korto, Jerell, Kelli (except she warns her about the leopard), Terri, and Blayne. She’s kind of scared of Blayne, but as long as he’s not too shocking it’ll be fine.

Blayne gets to pick his partner first, and he picks Leanne, who quietly freaks out. Keith takes Kenley. He says she’s headstrong, but “as long as I can get her to shut her mouth, and stick to sewing, we’ll be good.” Wow. I know you’re hot and all, but now I have lost interest. Terri picks Suede, with no comment. Korto picks Joe. Kelli picks Daniel, wincing the whole time. She says that Stella is her friend, but if she can’t do the construction then she’d have to go home. This is assuming that the judges completely bail on what they usually do which is to get rid of the team leader. She thinks Daniel is mad because he was almost last. Jerell is quite confident as he says he’s got leather in his outfit anyway, so he needs Stella’s skill set. That’s pretty cool.

Each team gets $150 and 30 minutes to shop. Kenley tells Keith she hates his fabrics and goes in search of things she likes. Keith is insulted. Tim looks at some fabric Kenley feels is the best and he tells them to keep looking. Heh, take that. Daniel thinks all of Kelli’s fabric is cheap, and his is high end. He really doesn’t get that he’s not in charge. Also when Kelli asks his opinion he’s like, oh, it’s pretty. Can’t bitch if you’re not going to speak up about it. Although I am noticing that Kenley hasn’t been allowed to explain her conflict with Keith.

They only have until midnight tonight. Only one day? 10 hours? Jerell and Stella quickly divvy up the work. He’s so excited that he could have Brooke Shields in his portfolio. Tim appears for just long enough to tell them there’s no immunity this week. Kenley goes to the sewing room, where Daniel is also sewing…something. She says that Keith’s design isn’t her style at all and she doesn’t particularly like it, because it’s not structured, like that’s evil. Kelli chafes at having to delegate. She raised herself, so she’s used to fending for herself. I kind of get that, wanting to do everything yourself so you know it’s right. Especially knowing Daniel hates whatever she’s doing. Suede hesitates to cut fabric, because he’s afraid they don’t have enough. He at least explains this to Terri, who finds a solution and tells him to cut it. He’s “uncomfortable” cutting the fabric, sewing the fabric, whatever. He looks like he might cry, to be honest. Terri tells him to work and then delivers this fantastic quote: “I don’t know what he’s packin’, balls or va-jay-jay, but he needs to work that out, cause, I ain’t got no babies, ain’t nobody suckin’ on my t***ies, so please, man up.” OK, so that’s also offensive, like Keith, but unlike Keith, that was funny. Blayne works on his design and talks about growing up in Yakama, Washington, and blames his craziness on his parents. Korto has very orange fabric. Kenley explains to Keith that his print is “South Beach cheesy” and that he needs to make a clean silhouette. I don’t think Keith’s style is “clean silhouette”, I think it’s “poofy”. Although, the print does remind me of Uli. She says that Keith knows she’s opinionated and he needs it. Except that she’s not in charge. Jerell is very confident. Stella pounds things.

Tim time! And he’s bringing models! People actually seem to have clothes to put on their models. Kelli and Daniel are futzing, because Daniel messed up the skirt. Or at least Kelli says he made the skirt with some rouching and some not, and the zipper is jacked up, or something. He insists it just needs adjustment. Kelli wants to cut something new, because she knows she’s the leader and she’s in danger. Daniel claims not to mind redoing it because it’s her design.

I guess Tim doesn’t have any opinions right now because we go back to work without any comments from him. Suede brings the top to Terri, the one he didn’t want to cut, and she tells him the back is all jacked up. Kenley whispers to Daniel that they’re arguing. Get back to work, Ms. Bossypants. Suede freaks out so much he forgets to refer to himself in the third person. He goes to fix it, bitching to the sewing room about it, and Kenley tells him to get ready to defend himself. I don’t like her today. I was indifferent before, and now I don’t like her.

Now it’s really Tim time. Blayne’s shorts look too sporty, but then he’s got a great top. So he needs to do something to the shorts. Jerell and Stella have a lot done, and Tim loves the palette. He also thinks it really looks like a collaboration. That happens so rarely. Kelli shows Tim how her outfit is black but the inside is lined with leopard print. I hate to say it, but Daniel was right. It does look cheap, and the first thing it reminds me of is the wrestling challenge. Tim is dubious. Terri is concerned, and Suede admits that they work differently, but their outfit works and he loves the neckline. Terri demands a hug because she feels so much better now. Tim loves the new fabric Keith has, and as soon as he says that Kenley pipes up that it’s really pretty. Tim eases my anger, though, by bringing over the ugly floral print Kenley loved so much and making faces about how it would have sucked. Kenley gets all defensive and Keith points this out to her, so as to rub it in more. Hee. Korto has a really loose orange top, and a strapless sheath underneath for night. The jacket is poofy, and Joe admits this to Tim, that it probably should be more fitted. He trails off as Korto jumps on him and says he never said this before. He does come up with a reasonable explanation in that it’s her design so he was letting her do whatever. Korto one-ups him by reminding Joe that she has immunity so if their design sucks, he’s the one who will go home, so he should be speaking up. I can’t believe he never said anything before; usually those people are loud about how they are getting screwed. Korto somehow segues into an example of pulling someone out from the street if there’s a bus coming and they don’t see it.

As Tim leaves Korto wanders out of the room. Joe is clueless (well, he IS the straight one) and says he was only trying to give her some gentle criticism and she doesn’t need to get mad. Impressively, it doesn’t sound defensive so much as he seems surprised Korto would react that way. They have an adult conversation on the couch, with Korto saying she doesn’t mind little things, and Joe trying to be nice about his objections. Korto interviews that she’s afraid Joe will turn on her, but she’s ready to turn on him.

In the morning, Blayne is pretty confident, while Kelli swears to push Daniel aside if he’s not doing it right. Apparently he hasn’t made the new skirt yet. He begs for a zipper or something. Kenley says she hasn’t seen his high end glamorous style yet. What the hell do you think last week was? Terri tries on her top and loves it so much Jerell has to interview about how she’s not all that. Blayne also wishes to keep his design for himself. Korto and Joe’s dress doesn’t look all that good, according to Leanne, who hasn’t spoken much this week. Tim comes in to give them an hour and tell them to borrow “appropriately” from the accessory wall. Jerell is speechless at Kelli’s design. All he can do is shake his head. Tim gives them a 5 minute warning and is horrified some of them are still sewing. Daniel swears it’s done. I think everyone finishes, even Daniel.

Brooke is back to guest judge, of course. Heidi says “one of you will be out”, but it’s on a shot of the designers, so she might not have said that at first. But if they only eliminate one designer per week, when Fashion Week rolls around they’ll have 7 people left. SEVEN. Something must be done. Korto and Joe: I really like the orange in the jacket, but the sleeves are really big. There’s a belt so it shows off her figure which is good, and then the skirt is really tight. Not too short though. And then she takes off the jacket, and you can see that her dress is not fitted properly in her torso, like at all. Kelli and Daniel: at first you think it’s just a black jacket and skirt. But the jacket has a green waistband, and it flares out at the hip and there’s a lot of fabric there. The cuffs of the jacket have the leopard, which is repeated on the side and back panels of the bodice and the bottoms of her bra (the tops are in the green). Also you can see skin between the top and skirt. Jerell and Stella: a brown print skirt, which is loose and has kind of a mottled tone-on-tone print, a wide dark yellow leather band at the waist with a narrower striped belt, and a brown tank top. It’s actually pretty good, although there’s no real day-to-evening aspect to it. Keith and Kenley: a bright print, in “tropical” colors for the top, which has a v-neck and sleeves (they’re an odd length, like, halfway down her upper arm). Then a belt right under her breasts, and a chocolate brown skirt. The skirt has scalloped layers of chiffon, so it makes kind of a fish scale effect. Then the model gets to the end of the runway, takes off the scarf she had tied around her throat, and pulls on a couple of ties at the shoulders of the top. The sleeves slide down, and now they’re attached at the shoulder and the end of the fabric. Now there’s more skin, with the slit sleeves, and the top still looks good. That’s pretty cool. I know usually I don’t write about what people say during the runway show, but Kenley claims she wouldn’t have done anything differently. Terri and Suede: the top is off the shoulder and has a big ruffle neckline. It’s tunic length, and there’s a low-slung belt, and tight black pants. On the way back up the runway she pulls the top up so it’s sitting on her shoulders and looks more professional. Blayne and Leanne: bright blue button down shirt over a dark blue strappy top, and gray walking shorts with a cuff. The dark blue top fits her really well but the shorts are pretty low in the back.

Jerell and Stella, Kelli and Daniel, Keith and Kenley, and Blayne and Leanne get called out. The other two teams are safe. You’ll notice that’s Korto and Joe (who had conflict) and Terri and Suede (who also had conflict). Jerell gets to go first. Brooke loves the mix of textures, but she thinks the belt is kind of busy. Heidi loves the belt, though. Kors loves it too, but Nina doesn’t get to talk. Kelli explains that Daniel made the skirt while she made the jacket, and they both worked on the bustier. As they’re talking and showing close-up shots, you can see that there’s a lot of rouching on the jacket so it looks wrinkly. You know that kind of tiny pleating that is supposed to provide texture and allow you to wear your clothes wrinkled. Brooke calls the shape “unfortunate” and cheap. Kors asks to have the jacket removed and then says it’s slutty. Nina questions Kelli’s taste and says you can’t get it if you don’t have it. Kelli admits she should have fixed it, and Kors jumps in to say that Daniel should have said something. Of course Heidi asks who should go home, but Kelli says she won the first challenge and has never been in the bottom so Daniel should go home. Reluctant to fall on our sword, are we? He says he has impeccable taste and there’s no question about that. Kenley starts laughing so much that Heidi asks her what her problem is. She’s like, “oh, hee hee, Daniel’s statement was so absurd I had to laugh and draw attention to myself, but you should just ignore me now!” Her team gets picked on next. Well, not picked on, because Brooke loves it. Nina says it’s not really day, but it’s beautiful. Kors for some reason thinks that they melded aesthetics perfectly, and Keith redeems himself somewhat by not calling Kenley out. Blayne starts talking about bohemian, because a button down shirt and shorts are bohemian. Brooke likes it, but it’s too casual. Blayne counters by pretending to know stuff about her character, saying he knows she won’t be restricted forever, or something. Nina says he didn’t listen, and then attacks Leanne for not stopping this. Heidi thinks she got dressed in the dark. He says he’s crazy, and they know that, and he took a risk. Kors interrupts to tell him that if he was taking a risk he could have at least made it interesting. Blayne, showing surprising maturity (take that, Kelli), says it’s his design and he should go home. Leanne agrees. Kelli does kind of look worried.

Jerell and Stella had a great silhouette, it was Heidi’s favorite, it was impeccable and feminine. Keith and Kenley were inspired, sophisticated, classy, and actually listened to the challenge. Kelli really just did what she liked, didn’t execute the design, and Nina questions both of their taste levels but especially Kelli’s since she was in charge. Heidi counters by saying Daniel didn’t really do a lot, and hasn’t been impressive. Blayne didn’t listen and is a brat, but Leanne has lost confidence and didn’t speak up.

I just noticed Jerell is wearing a dress under that jacket, and over those pants. Honey you are no Austin. Keith wins. Eh. It was pretty but who would wear that to work? I guess a character on TV that doesn’t have to be based in reality. Jerell and Stella are safe. Leanne is in. Daniel is in. Kelli has no taste, and Blayne can’t step outside of himself. Blayne is in. I do think Kelli’s was the worst. She’s mad and doesn’t think she deserve to go home because she took a risk. She says she’d rather go out as herself than try to be something she’s not.

Next week: what is that behind the scrim? Giant Viking helmet? No, just Chris March in drag. And a bra that he must have made out of a disco ball. LOVE IT. And THEN! Then, my friends, he says the words I have been dying to hear for years: “Your next challenge is designing an outfit for a drag queen.” Ever since I heard Rupaul was a guest judge, I hoped and hoped that the challenge would be drag queens, and oh baby it’s going to be good. Just look at the shot of the models to choose from. Tim asks them if they’re ready for the most fabulous show in the history of Project Runway. Yes. Yes I am. (Kmanpat: “Hell yeah we are.”)
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Project Runway 8/6/08--"Rings of Glory" summary

Previously on Project Runway: we had yet another challenge repeat, which required the contestants to take pictures of New York at night for inspiration for an outfit. Pretty much no one did a great job of turning their picture into a good outfit, except for Leanne and possibly Joe. Of course neither of them won. Kenley won with an 80’s inspired dress that had nothing to do with her picture, not even the colors. Emily went home for making a boring black dress with a random giant ruffle, but at least that sort of looked like a line of light, unlike Jennifer’s super boring non-clock-looking dress. Judging seems to still be wonky from last season, although to be fair Emily’s dress wasn’t very good. (click for more)

Everyone looks very tired. Korto says that Emily’s gone but oh well, life goes on. Kenley is glad she won and is recognized by people who matter in fashion. If you say so.

Kenley gets to pick a new model but she sticks with her old model. This method seems to make the models more useless. It’s not like someone else will snap up the losing designer’s model because she’s awesome. If your model isn’t very good the only way to get rid of her is to win. Heidi sends everyone to meet Tim for yet another field trip.

Jerell fears female wrestlers. Hee. Korto wants hip-hop. That would be cool. Kelli sees a hospital and freaks out. Tim tries to ask Blayne about his tanning routine. Don’t encourage that, Tim. Blayne says he goes tanning every other day. Do you know nothing about skin cancer?!?! Everyone ends up at The Armory Track and Field Center. I would be confused if I wasn’t already spoiled, especially since there’s a big building called the Armory in San Francisco. I’m pretty sure that’s what it’s called. They don’t have track and field there, they make…”videos”. Yes that kind. Everyone goes inside to the track and up skates Apolo Anton Ohno, on racing rollerblades, looking very good. (Kmanpat: “Oo, yes.”) They do not mention “Dancing with the Stars”. It’s hilarious how Stella and Terri are confused about the crazy skating person, as if they don’t understand speed skating. Their challenge is to design the outfits for the opening ceremonies at the Olympics. (Kmanpat: “OH MY GOD I WAS RIGHT”) Daniel has never seen the opening ceremonies. Under a rock, apparently. They only have to do the women’s outfit, which is a copout. They should have to do both. Apolo thinks the opening ceremony is like the catwalk, except usually the opening ceremony outfits suck ass. When my friends and I get together to watch the opening ceremonies, we take a drink every time another country has better team uniforms than the U.S. We drink a lot. Tim says that Ralph Lauren has already done some stuff for this year, I think. Blayne says something stupid about going for the gold. Apolo tells them they’ll have 30 minutes in the museum there to get ideas.

Joe talks about how great the Olympics are, especially for telling the whole world how great America is. And he has a sportswear background. Daniel cannot even identify which photos are opening ceremony photos. Terri wants classic sports wear. Stella is talking about gladiators, or something, since there’s a photo of a competitor wearing fur. Who knows. See, I saw some photos of things like warm-up suits, and the captions said the design of the opening ceremony outfits was being kept a secret. This would explain that. Jennifer and Jerell both are going retro. Daniel is confused since he is into high end glamour.

30 minutes to shop and $150. Korto trash talks about how she has some leather, and people are looking at her funny, but they should worry about their plaid. Stella is buying black, and Tim is starting his comments. Keith asks for a yard of a red and white print, and Terri gets on his ass about “stealing her fabric” which she had the worker put on the table and then she left it there to go do something else. Keith hems and haws so he looks kind of guilty, even if he’s not. Terri says “oh no you di’int!” and if this was another situation I’d make a comment about cheaters named Keith, but who cares? They’re all going to have red, white, and blue anyway so they’re going to kind of look the same to begin with. It’s not like that’s never happened before, or that he snatched it out of your hands. Now Terri is watching him, or whatever. This is a stupid argument.

Back at Parson’s Tim gives them 9 hours, with the promise of immunity for the winner. OOooooo. If the winner was going to have their outfit mass produced to be worn in the actual Olympics, they probably wouldn’t offer immunity. Everyone shares their sports experiences. Joe is making a skort. Those are so unflattering. Ugh. Daniel is not into sports, unsurprisingly. He’s making a cocktail dress. Huh? He says uniforms make everyone look generic. Blayne talks about tanning again, and he says it’s a sport but they only go to bronze medals. OK, that was amusing. He says he’s getting paler and weaker and he’s dying. Jerell interviews Blayne’s becoming tanorexic and it’s only his bleached hair that is keeping him alive luckily. Heh. Terri has a corset? I guess? She’s keeping it simple, but she’s got 4 pieces which is a lot. She seems to be working quickly though. Jennifer is making a skirt, camisole, and sweater jacket. It looks precious and retro, but very girly and not athletic at all. She is staying “true to [her] style” which may backfire. Stella is making black clothes because it’s “space-age” and “modern” but not soft looking because athletes are not soft. Apparently they are also immune to the consequences of wearing black stretch satin jumpsuits in the summer time. She insists that lots of bikers watch the Olympics so that’s her argument. Leanne (or possibly Jennifer) makes fun of her. Keith used to be a gymnast (Kmanpat: “…gymnasts…*drool*) and is using silk and fleece. Joe bitches about Kenley and Daniel always giggling and having fun and not being considerate of him. Korto and Jerell complain too, so it seems to be that Kenley has a very annoying laugh, rather than no one wants her to have fun. Actually both Korto and Jerell do hilarious chicken squawking impressions of Kenley’s laugh. Korto says she always notices when people wear white. Then we get some of her background in Liberia, and having to go into exile. When she thinks of something like this uniform that is patriotic and American, it means something different to her than to us.

Tim time! Tim agrees with Joe that “skort” equals “athletic” I guess. He’s bought zippers in both red and blue, which could be cool. Blayne talks about dresses and he’s got a white jacket with red stripes. Tim calls it Sgt. Pepper and Blayne’s like, I don’t know what that is. Tim rolls his eyes and says “youth” in disgust. I agree. Smack. Tim has to explain it to him, and once Tim tells him it’s the Beatles, then Blayne starts talking about how that’s the right era and then mentions cardigans, which is not what is on his dress form and is wrong anyways, says Tim. In confessional he babbles something about cover bands, and at least manages to remember that one of them was named Ringo. Daniel thinks his colors look like a superhero. Agreed, but he’s kind of freaking out like he always does. Tim tells him to chill and superheroes are OK. Jerell has a pencil skirt with horizontal stripes. Tim reminds him the women are “muscley” and stripes might be bad. Up top he’s got lots of print scarves and Tim warns him against “Lucy Ricardo”. Jennifer has a navy cardigan and a white and gold vertically striped skirt. She wants to make the Olympic emblem in jewelry, but it’s matronly. Then Tim calls it “junior” which is an odd combination. It’s not that great, though.

Back to working. Kenley tells Daniel his bolero jacket sucks and makes it look like Wonder Woman. Joe comes into the sewing room and complains that Daniel rethreaded his machine with different thread. He says that he’s used that particular machine for the past 3 weeks, but Daniel tells him that Kenley was working on it the last time he looked, and there are a lot more machines anyway. Seriously, there are like, 3 people in the sewing room. Joe bitches that Daniel should pay attention to who’s been working on what machines. Aren’t they all the same? Joe goes back to the workroom and Daniel is like, seriously? Did that just happen? Suede is glad to miss the drama and calls other people “wack-a-doodle” and is the normal one for once. Joe says there’s too much drama because there are too many queens. As I recall, you were the one causing drama, Mr. I-have-kids-and-am-the-straight-one. Walking in the sewing room and announcing “Daniel rethreaded my machine with red.” Korto tells Joe to whine and I can’t tell if she agrees with him or is mocking his whining and he doesn’t understand he’s being mocked.
Jerell starts talking about taking everyone down, the next morning. Stella views immunity as the chance to screw up royally and not be eliminated for it. Kenley thinks Daniel’s blue will look purple on the runway. I think she has the same fabric. Tim appears and gives them 3 hours, which is a ton of time. Joe is cocky because he has a background in sportswear. Jerell has a hat. It’s like if there was a musical about Olympians, where the guy and girl are both athletes and fall in love but only after they are rivals somehow, and one of them is almost kicked out for some scandal. And the girl is feisty. (Kmanpat: “Ooo! It would be called ‘Going for the Gold’ and that would be the name of the show stopping number during the opening ceremonies, where the whole ensemble sings about winning and glory and America” *starts dancing*) Right…anyways, Jerell’s outfit is what the costumes would look like. Jennifer doesn’t have any red. Stella has a lot of black. Korto thinks everyone else went too retro.

Apolo Ohno is back to guest judge. Korto: vest, cami and wide legged pants. Everything is white except the vest which is white with red shoulders. The pants have some kind of detail running from the waist down the front; I think it’s a fold in the fabric or something. It’s very smart. Suede: full skirt in blue with red and white stripes, and a white high necked sleeveless top. Not bad but it does remind me of a cheerleading outfit. Kelli: really retro 50’s blue skirt with white details, and sleeveless red shirt with a big bow and white plackets. I think the shirt has white polka dots. Maybe 40’s, I can’t always tell the difference. Joe: white jacket and skort with USA on the side. That’s kind of cheesy. There are stripes of red and blue along the sleeves and the front of the skort, and red piping on the jacket. It’s really sporty. Leanne: white top with a high red white and blue collar and shorts. Nice. The top is sleeveless but flares out at the hip. Daniel: a cocktail sheath dress with a red belt and red buttons on a narrow panel in the front. His fabric does look purple. Jerell: pencil skirt (he at least turned the fabric so it’s vertical stripes), pink blouse with puffy sleeves, giant scarf in navy and red with white polka dots, hat with polka dots. Total musical costume. Oh, and dark leggings that are capri length. Stella: black, with metallic trim in silver, red, and blue. The pants are cropped and the jacket is zipped up strangely, so it has a keyhole opening and then there’s a notch cut in the bottom so you can see her navel. Fleh. Keith: at least it reminds me of all his other dresses. Poofy skirt in blue and white, a white vest with a high collar, and a long blue and red scarf. Terri: white pants with dark blue tuxedo stripes, a red white and blue strapless top, scarf in that fabric she said Keith stole (which he didn’t use, by the way), navy jacket with a pinstripe. It’s not bad and it’s similar enough to what they’ve worn in the past that it’s not too far of a stretch. Jennifer: gold and white striped skirt, camisole, navy cardigan. Cute but not sporty. Blayne: one shoulder fitted jumpsuit with some stripe detail. Very fashionable and not Sgt. Pepper. Kenley: purple plaid high waisted skirt with short sleeved white top. Interesting but it looks purple too.

Suede, Kelli, Leanne, Stella, Keith, Blayne, and Kenley are safe. Stella is going to get away with her rocker shtick again? Seriously? Blah. Terri says she saw a lot of blazers in the past, so she wanted to put a spin on it. Apolo says it looks American, and it would read well. Kors likes the 70’s spin. Nina thinks it’s smart and sharp and versatile. Jennifer took some inspiration from the 20’s, but it doesn’t look confident and it doesn’t look American. Nina says that she didn’t follow the challenge at all, she kept to her design aesthetic and her model looks silly. Joe wanted to go modern, and he wanted it to read USA, which is why the skirt says USA. The zipper on her jacket is half red and half blue, which is a neat detail. Apolo loves that it will show off an athlete’s body. Nina likes to see sportswear, and Kors says the length of the skirt (in the front it’s much longer than the shorts) has an issue but the idea of a skort is wonderful. Daniel wanted some glamour. Nina complains about relevance and she’s like, there’s no America in this. Daniel insists that the girl is wearing blue and red to make it American, but no one agrees, and Kors finally is like, the color is the least of your problems because it’s stupid. Korto likes the white fabric, and wanted it modern. The red in the vest is leather. Nina proclaims it chic, and it’s made of linen so Apolo thinks it will be comfortable. Jerell wanted to make sportswear but from the 20s. He himself is wearing a Peter Pan hat or something. We start right out with Apolo comparing it to a movie costume. Everyone is confused, and they’ll admit it’s unique but it’s pretty wack. It’s not athletic. Kors points out that a modern, strong woman would not wear that hat.

Good: Korto (sophisticated but still athletic, modern), Terri (simple but stylish, you could do something with it, it’s actually sportswear), Joe (literal, very athletic). Bad: these 3 people heard the challenge in another language. Jerell (costume, not athletic but at least had good fabrics), Jennifer (boring and prim, she can’t separate her own taste from her designs), Daniel (cocktail dress, “Well if her sport is drinking it’s a good dress” says Kors, he should have used the jacket and made her look like a super hero).

Joe is in. Korto wins. Cool, I liked her outfit. They do not say anything about her outfit actually being in the Olympics, so we’ll have to see. She says it’s about time. Terri is in. Jerell is in. Daniel completely missed the point of the challenge, and Jennifer is stuck in the past as a designer. Jennifer is out. She doesn’t think her garment is stuck in the past, and she thought she brought another point of view and she talks about her surrealism again, which I’ve never seen.

Next week: the contestants have to design for Brooke Shields, people freak, Kors says something is slutty, Kenley laughs at Daniel. I think there may be teams.
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