My monkey could do that

Tuesday, June 2, 2026

Top Chef 6/1/26--"Plate Expectations" summary

 

Previously on “Top Chef”: everyone went to Asheville to drive around and look at cool restaurants from the outside but not go in. Listen I know this was to raise awareness about the hurricane recovery and talk about how apparently chefs are the most important part of that, but driving around for hours just looking at the outsides of buildings isn't really helpful. Then making everyone go back to Charlotte to have a benefit, meaning you threw a benefit for Asheville, that was held three hours away from Asheville. The final five had to make apps for 200, featuring at least two Appalachian ingredients. Everyone was successful on the ingredients part, so it came down to Jonathan having too much acidity and Sieger serving runny chicken liver mousse. Outside in 90 degree weather. When Sieger was sent home, he started arguing with the judges, and according to someone on social media claiming to be a PA, it was louder and worse than shown in the show. This man asked production for a written copy of the rules, like he was going to find some loophole to stick around. This did not happen. (click for more)

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Monday, May 25, 2026

Top Chef 5/25/26--"Appalachian Celebration" summary

 

Previously on “Top Chef”: Keith and Rachel from the Try Guys were here for the “let's let the internet screw you” challenge. It was mostly fine until they forced everyone to move one station over. Sherry was very bitter about this, but honestly I get it. Everyone got a free loaf of bread so there was a lot of fancy toast, but Rhoda won, mostly with Sherry's ingredients which is why Sherry was pissed. The Elimination Challenge was to make rabbit, for some Michelin starred chefs, so it had to be fine dining. And mystery diners, although that didn't really come into play. Sherry was still pissed, and Tom questioned her so she was mad about that too, but then she won for making jerk rabbit and mofongo. Anthony did a very fine-dining “here are five pieces of food all separated on the plate with a swoosh of sauce” and it was dry, so he was sent home. (click for more)

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Tuesday, May 19, 2026

Top Chef 5/18/26--"Down the Rabbit Hole" summary

 

Previously on “Top Chef”: We had the mise en place relay race, which is always fun. Then of course everyone had to cook with the things they prepped, which was grapes, shrimp, pecans, and corn. Rhoda won some money, which was nice because she had said she hadn't won any money yet. Then it was time for “go fishing and cook what you catch” which is a great challenge. I like that challenge. Laurence made steamed fish but it was perfect so he won. Duyen undercooked her fish, and went home. Sadly it was a fish challenge, and she cooked it the worst. But it's sad because Duyen is the best. (click for more)

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Monday, May 11, 2026

Top Chef 5/11/26--"Hook, Line, and Dinner" summary

 

Previously on “Top Chef”: Rhoda returned from LCK, and she got stuck with making dessert for a dinner party. Everyone had to make appetizers with mayonnaise, which was fine, it was whatever. Anthony won some money. Then each contestant had to sign up for a course of the dinner party, so of course they left Rhoda with dessert. Also there was not very much money, for added drama. Laurence won the Elimination challenge with his soup. Rhoda spent four hours making...meringue and whipped crème fraiche, and the meringue didn't turn out. Oscar had bland meat and then because of the budget he put rice in his dish, so there were “two” “grain” dishes. Oscar was eliminated, and the internet feels Rhoda should have gone home but was saved because you can't get rid of the LCK winner immediately or why have LCK at all? That's fair but I think she had a vaguely edible dish while all of Oscar's dish was bland. (click for more)

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Tuesday, May 5, 2026

Top Chef 5/4/26--"The Ultimate Dinner Party" summary

 

Previously on “Top Chef”: we started Restaurant Wars early, as in immediately after the end of the last challenge. Everyone picked teams by sort of standing around and then shuffling into groups. We have Jenn, Oscar, and the twins, and then Anthony, Duyen, Laurence, and Sherry. As the teams came up with menus and concepts and who would do front of house (FOH) or executive chef, Jenn left to go to the hospital, and then stepped out of the competition. Justin was offered the spot, but he declined, to stay with Jenn, so Sieger returned. As we predicted. Oscar's team decided on Latin flavors with a Southern bend, and named themselves Tierra Reina. The other team almost fell for a “global” concept, but Laurence was genre-savvy about it and they went with Carolina comfort food and the name Carolina Queen. Each team had to serve 100 diners, plus judges, plus do takeout. None of the judges sampled the takeout (although they did get reports) and I feel this is bogus. If you make them have takeout, then a judge needs to eat the takeout. Also there was no reason for them to spend an hour immediately making menus, unless it's so they can be there when Sieger returns, because the rest of the timeline seems as usual. Duyen and Carolina Queen had an extremely smooth FOH experience, with a welcome drink and a small wait but nothing crazy. They did forget some stuff on takeout but fixed it quickly. Food here was good but Anthony made rice with bernaise sauce and okra so it was stringy. Over at Tierra Reina, we had the classic “the waiters are not writing tickets correctly and food is going to random tables”. Also the judges waited nearly 45 minutes for their first course. Oscar did do a good job at FOH and had the best dish of the night. But Carolina Queen (and Duyen) won. Brandon made one dish, and it was not cooked properly, so he was sent home. (click for more)

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Tuesday, April 28, 2026

Top Chef 4/27/26--"Restaurant Wars" summary

 

Previously on “Top Chef”: the Quickfire was to make a dish that fits into the existing Cracker Barrel menu. I think this is a great challenge, but not when you make everyone get into groups of three and then they have 45 minutes but only one person can cook at a time. Why do we need to only have 15 minutes? Also this is the day after the BBQ challenge where they stayed up all night. Anyways, the twins and Anthony won, mainly because Jonathan made steak smothered in bourbon pan gravy and it did seem exactly like something you could buy at Cracker Barrel. Then everyone had to take a Southern dessert to reinterpret, for the judges and 60 “superfans”, with three hours. Starting immediately, no going to the store, no time in the car to think about what you're doing. The superfans voted on the winner, which was Anthony, for making a twist on apple stack cake. Justin picked out ambrosia salad, which the excellent logic of “this way I don't have to bake a cake”, but then he didn't have enough cream and everything was too cold, so he was eliminated. Kristen called everyone back and said that Restaurant Wars starts right this second, with 36 hours until service. Oh also you must do takeout. Jenn (whose face was pulling and drooping and painful) was sent to the hospital, and they asked her to leave. But she can come back in a future season. Kristen pulled Justin from wherever he was to tell him the news and that he can return if he would like. Justin called Jenn, and then said he couldn't think about competing while she was in the hospital, which is totally fair. Then the episode ends. (click for more)

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Tuesday, April 21, 2026

Top Chef 4/20/26--"Desserts Fit For a Queen" summary

 

Previously on “Top Chef”: at first they said there was no Quickfire, because it's BBQ time. Smoke a whole pig overnight, in two teams. Each chef took one part of the pig and they battled head-to-head for [product placement] money. There did end up being a Quickfire, but it was “optional” and it was just to make s'mores. Oscar won some cash. Laurence won the Elimination challenge, partially because he made some pork floss at Sherry's suggestion. Sieger put himself in charge of his team's pig, and he did get a little superior about the other team removing the pork loin before it could dry out, but his pork loin was too dry and he was eliminated.(click for more)

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