Bromans 11/2/17--Season 1 Episode 8 summary

Previously on “Bromans”: The show is almost over! Everyone got spa time, and then an evening at the club. Callum got very drunk and turned into a jerk, and then felt very bad. The final challenge was the same as the first challenge, the chariot pull. In the end, Callum and Brandon were up for banishment and Callum was sent home. It was sad because I liked Callum a lot. But now it's time for the Emperor's Games and the last episode! (click for more)

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Bromans 10/26/17--Season 1 Episode 7 summary

Previously on “Bromans”: Jordan and Glenn had a fight and then resolved it like adults somehow. Tom decided Dino and Cherelle were full of themselves and they didn't hesitate to rub it in. Meanwhile everyone had to wash clothes with urine. It's as dumb as it sounds. Jordan and Glenn were both up for elimination, and Glenn ended up going home. Sadly, because I liked Glenn and Summer. (click for more)

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Bromans 10/19/17--Season 1 Episode 6 summary

Previously on “Bromans”: new contestants Chet and Helen wasted no time in irritating everyone, especially since Helen and Nicola already hate each other. They sniped at each other constantly, Nicola giving just as good as she got, while Chet managed to piss off both Dino and Callum. The girls had to put on performances, and Summer and Ellie won a wine and cheese party for themselves and their boyfriends. Meanwhile Helen jumped Nicola and was removed, and then Chet mouthed off at Callum, who rushed him but nothing happened. They were kicked out, and then Dominus said that someone else would go home and Liam and Ellie were also banished, which was too bad. The boys had to haul bags in the Cesspit, and Liam did really well, but it was too little too late. (click for more)

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Bromans 10/12/17--Season 1 Episode 5 summary

Previously on “Bromans”: Liam and Jordan's “punishment” was to be locked up for the day. Liam got let out earlier, because Jade and Ellie had to do the first challenge instead of their boyfriends, and Ellie killed it. Eventually Jordan did get out though, but not before Dominus showed up to read him some bad poetry. The girls also had to cook, which was pathetic but I guess there was some humor in it anyway. The final challenge was wrestling, in the black speedos, oiled up. But oiled up by your opponents girlfriend. I love this show. Dino, Brandon, Tom, and Jordan all won their battles. Even though Doctore tried to argue in favor of Glenn, he and Tian were up for elimination. The vote was split right down the middle, so the Emperor gets to have the last say, and Tian was banished. (click for more)

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Bromans 10/5/17--Season 1 Episode 4 summary

Previously on “Bromans”: so I guess whenever someone is eliminated they'll bring on a new pair so there are always eight lads. Our new pair is Callum and Rachel. The lads have to do some cross-training or something, with Doctore yelling at them. He declares Brandon and Glenn the “winners”, because they pushed themselves the hardest or whatever. They and their girlfriends won massages, and that's about it. Well, I guess the other guys saw them as a “threat” or whatever. The girls made plaster molds of their body parts and I learned apparently ITV or whatever network this is has no problem with showing a penis but they won't show a naked breast. The actual challenge was to use a slingshot, and most of the lads failed miserably. Liam and Jordan were put up for banishment, and only Dino and Cherelle voted for Liam, but then Dominus says no one is being sent home. (click for more)

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Bromans 9/28/17--Season 1 Episode 3 summary

Previously on “Bromans”: a new pair was introduced to the competition. Liam looked very intimidating, but couldn't follow it up. His girlfriend Ellie didn't approve, but no one really judged her for being mad at Liam. Meanwhile, Kai failed to understand one of the two rules of the wrestling challenge, and Modina laid into him about it and was soundly denounced. There was no explanation for why everyone said Modina was wrong, but when Ellie did the same thing no one cared. We also had an “American Gladiator” style challenge which looked painful and seemed to involve not falling down as much as it involved winning fights. Tom won, although it's not clear if he actually won any kind of prize. Kai and Tian were up for elimination, and although Kai argued that he was useless and should be kept, Doctore told Natalie to speak for Tian and then everyone voted for Tian except for Glenn. I know I was treating this show as just dumb fluff, but you all know how I feel about elimination shenanigans. There are aliens at the edge of the galaxy who know how I feel about elimination shenanigans. So Kai and Modina were banished. (click for more)

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Bromans 9/21/17--Season 1 Episode 2 summary

Previously on “Bromans”: a bunch of Jersey Shore-types showed up to a crappy set to pretend to be gladiators. First they had to stand outside naked while their girlfriends dug for clothing. Then they had to haul rocks in a chariot. In between these activities was a lot of nonsense and general tomfoolery. The two main actors broke the 4^th wall repeatedly, almost as if they knew they were in a terrible show. The two slowest lads, Richard and Glenn, were up for elimination. As the contestants voted for who would go home, they decided Glenn was easy to beat so they kept him. Richard and Sophii lost. This show might be terrible, but I find it endlessly entertaining, which probably means I should think about my life. (click for more)

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Bromans 9/14/17--Season 1 Episode 1 summary

I don't know how much I've talked about it, but I LOVE terrible movies. I made my friends see “Snakes on a Plane” with me in the theater and had a blast, while they told me I “owed” them. Pff. I knew that thing would be terrible, and it was, so I was not disappointed. Same thing with “2012” or “Armageddon” or “Sharknado” or “Clash of the Titans”, the original with the shitty claymation, not the new one. So it makes sense I also enjoy terrible reality shows, like “Kept” and “America's Most Smartest Model” and that model show that followed Janice Dickinson around. So Kmanpat sent me a link to an article about “Bromans”, which was a bunch of British meatheads forced to be gladiators. I immediately knew I had to get my hands on it. Later we found out that the meatheads had to bring their girlfriends along, so my interest dropped by like 50%. Still! This show looks like “Towie” crossed with “The Quest”, but since “Towie” is a British show and I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who watched “The Quest”, that analogy probably doesn't make any sense. (click for more)

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