Previously on “Project Runway”: Jeffrey was eliminated and Bryan was Saved, because fuck you is why. Everyone had to make both a wedding dress and a reception dress. The winner got their looks sold at David's Bridal, and I know you all already know it looked terrible and nowhere near the actual design. Anyway, Anna won, because she hadn't won yet, and she and Jude were in. Bi was also in. So I was briefly happy about Bryan being gone, but of course the judges decided they could maybe do a fourth finalist. Sigh. (click for more)
The last finalist is Joseph. Yes, this is a good finale. I love Naheim though. But like, thank GOD Bryan isn't going. Naheim seems like he'll be OK with it eventually. Bryan of course doesn't agree and says he's happy for everyone except Joseph. Girl bye.
One week to make a five look collection with $7500. Heidi claims the world is watching, but we all know the world is not watching. Everyone takes a field trip to Christian's atelier, and they wander around to “get inspired” by things they can't afford. Heh. Someone tries to hire one of his sewers, and Christian is like, you can't afford her either.
Design Day 1 of 5. Eight hours to work, and eliminated designers for help. Well, carefully selected eliminated designers: Jeffrey, Bao, Aaron, and Naheim. You'll note not Bryan, or like, Bobby. I'll give Naheim that he would have been eliminated like, yesterday, and he seems in a great mood. I guess it's possible Bryan told them to get fucked. It's happened more than once, people get eliminated and are told to come back next episode to help out and they say no. It's Anna and Jeffrey, Jude and Naheim, Aaron and Joseph, and Bi and Bao. Honestly those are pretty good pairings. Aaron tells Joseph he's proud of him and I got a little teary eyed, tbh. Naheim says he and Jude are the youngest contestants, and he's ready to help him out. Do you think Jude has suits? Come on. Jeffrey says he's always connected with Anna, and watching Jeffrey be team leader, I think he'll be a great help. Bi's collection is about a Vietnamese card game. Sure. Bao is ready to help out. Yeah I think they actually figured out who is friends with who, and paired them up for the least possible amount of drama.
Design Day 2 of 5. It's Christian Time, with five hours left. The chyron says it's his first walkthrough. He loves the top stitching Jude is doing and offers him a job. Jude wants fitted clothing that comes alive when it moves. Like his dance outfit? That'll be the one to beat if the whole collection is going to be that. Christian claims he has to do something unexpected, but I remember his telling Ethan last season to change everything, and then he complained that he changed everything, so I will take Christian's advice today with a grain of salt. Bi has a molded leather bodice. He's never done it before so he's testing it out. Christian is already sighing when he heads for Joseph, who says “Americana” and “fighter” and I guess it looks kind of collegiate but he doesn't care. Time to make everyone enter his world instead of making his stuff fit a challenge. Anna has decided to use unconventional materials in her collection. Interesting. Like, soda can tab bra and trash bag skirt. Christian is skeptical. Maybe step out of your head a little bit. Anna is starting to freak out.
Design Day 4 of 5. OK so fuck day 3 I guess. I'm all for this show being over sooner rather than later but if you don't even have enough time to show something from each day? Christian returns to introduce a mentor from the CFDA to give them some of the guidance they will get as part of the prize if they win. OK really everyone talks about their fashion philosophy and the guy is like “good for you”. Nothing exciting.
Design Day 5 of 5. Model fitting, and Christian says “final” model fitting, so I guess they've all been around before. And I guess there was no drama about model selection the way there was last season so they just cut all of it. Sure. Bi has a look that is currently held together with clips, and it's not tight enough. It doesn't fit. All the helpers are still there, so it's kind of nice they got another pair of hands for all five days. Anna needs to clean up the details like hems. Christian thinks Jude's collection is safe. Not like Anna's. Hmm. Joseph is Joseph. His middle dress looks like he wrapped the model in fabric, so maybe rethink it. He might make a whole new look in three hours.
Runway Day. They have four hours total to get it all together. Naturally some last minute sewing. Joseph has indeed made a new outfit. Anna is putting in grommets by hand. Bi has rivets, and they are breaking. This seems like a lot of work for last minute. I think in the end Anna is missing a grommet.
Heidi's dress is terrible. It's a long black velvet dress with a train, the skirt is slim, there are long sleeves. All the way down the front of the dress, neck to floor, it's split and there is a silver ribbon lacing like a corset. Then the same down each arm. I lied, it's less corset lacing and more shoelaces. And she of course has left it open with plenty of skin showing. Guest judge is Fausto Puglisi, creative director of Roberto Cavalli. Also Christian is here. I was waiting to see if Heidi's dress was laced in the back too but there aren't any shots of her back.
Bi is up first. He says “bi” is short for “bitch”. Heh. The runway is a ring? I guess so? OK so the molded leather chest plate is on a male model? It's red and black, very sexy. The dress that didn't fit right is white leather, and it does look like it fits much better in the waist. But the strapless bodice gapes in the back like it's supposed to hold something. The final look is black pants and then a skirt and top with a lot of straps, but only in the front. Like an apron but with a ton of beading and volume.
Anna's turn. She says this collection is called “The Breakdown” which is what she went through this season. Heh. So she had said it will start with restriction, and this model has a white shift dress. There are brown leather straps connecting the back and front, all around the sides of the dress and over her arms, so her arms are basically tied to her sides. And then the skirt has holes in it. Each look has more movement. The trash bags look great, and then Liris looks amazing thank God because the designers fucked her over this season. The soda can tab bra is hidden under a doily. Like, it's a lace circle draped over her shoulders and chest. The last look is a white gown, but like, there's a stiff narrow piece in the front, and one in the back. Like posts? I think maybe a corset that sticks up between her boobs to her throat. This look is freedom. So I can see the theme.
Jude's parents are here which is cute. It's pants with like, side straps, plaid, everything fits of course. Another plus size model in a dress that is essentially a blazer, but her boobs look great and it fits her like a glove. I think the middle look is basically his wedding reception look. Lots of movement for having three looks be pants. Expensive looking.
Joseph. Law looks irritated already but you knew this would happen. This collection is of course giant coats and so much volume and streetwear. And his name on shit which is funny. The theme is sports so it's sweats, and like, a bandeau top in red with the two white stripes like on the cuffs of baseball jackets. But the bandeau top with a huge red skirt that has the pleats at the waist. You remember Kini's umbrella dress for the rainway? Like that but not tapered at the ankle. It's the strongest point of view, I think, and he doesn't care because he knows someone will like it.
We find someone to praise each collection so you can't tell who is an obvious winner. As ever. Honestly though stronger collections than last season. Jude can tailor so well at 23 years old. His red coat moves and is feminine, and Nina says no one knows how to do that. He has taste. Heidi whines that he needs head-turners. Nina disagrees, because Nina knows what's up, and what's up is a 23 year old with elegant, expensive looking, perfectly tailored clothes has a long career ahead of him.
Anna wanted people to feel something, and Law admits he did feel something. She has very pretty, desirable clothes. Heidi says it wasn't cohesive. Even Law knew it was an evolution, a storyline, and Heidi is all “but it's such a small collection.” Shut up Heidi. Nina loved Liris's look. Fair, it was amazing.
Bi was polished. His models look expensive. His molded leather breastplate was interesting without being theatrical. Law wants the apron/pants look for a client. But the white look, the one Christian said didn't' fit, they all hated it. It doesn't go with the black apron/pants look.
Joseph is pleased with himself, you will not be shocked to know. The guest judge says finally, an authentic American Designer, who says “I don't give a fuck.” OK that's true. It's American Freedom. Heh. Listen his clothes say “I don't' give a fuck” and that's what he wants them to say so mission accomplished, I guess. Nina says maybe sometimes it's so outrageous it's cartoonish, but he's bold and “of the culture”. Law of course thinks this is tacky and horrible because Law has spent the season hating on Joseph. Law thinks his arrogance is going to keep him from being great, but I would argue that Joseph doesn't want to be “great”. He wants to sell his clothes and if he gets famous on the way, then fine, but I think he'd be perfectly happy making a living and not compromising on his designs. Also Law thinks maybe the show will last 20 seasons after Joseph leaves and this is hilarious. It might not last past this season. 20 seasons, fuck off with that shit.
Bi has a sense of sculpture, but he maybe doesn't have a point of view. Nina argues he is sexy and polished. Anna makes expensive looking clothes out of trash, but if you don't see the storyline in her collection it looks disjointed. Jude's looks are polished and sexy, and this is rare for how young he is. Heidi is bored, but Nina knows he has the talent to last for a long time. Does Nina have a crush on Jude like so much of the internet? Maybe. Joseph is authentic, but he is loud too. Heidi says maybe a ringmaster could win this show for once and Law loses his shit. Heidi suggests Joseph is loud because Law is an asshole to him, which is a fair point. Law thinks he's tacky, and Nina is like, sure but maybe that resonates with people. Law claims he came here to find “the next great American designer” which is fucking hilarious. Law came here to stir up shit and get ratings because of drama.
Everyone talks about how much they want to win and then the winner is Jude! Aww. His parents are teary-eyed. Joseph says you only lose when you stop trying. Bi is at peace, and he knows he worked hard and he's happy. Anna is proud of making it to the finals and she feels unstoppable.
Time for Amazing Race soon! Thanks for reading!
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment