Top Design 11/5/08--"Finale pt. 2" summary

Previously on Top Design: the final 4 designed one room, with the hopes that they would be allowed to continue and design the rest of the house. Preston and Ondine did their usual good jobs, with Ondine being slightly better. Nathan tried to please the judges, which backfired, but he was still better than Eddie, who was still “old” and also irritated Jeff Lewis for some reason. As a bonus for the episode we got to watch Nathan and Eddie get drunk and paw each other, and do a drunken interview where they pretended to blow up their muscles and it was kind of disturbing. We also got some shots of the designers’ actual houses. Preston = looks like no one actually lives there. Nathan = very Nathan and funky. Ondine = also looks like her and like people live there, and is probably the one I would live in. (Kmanpat: “Whatever, I’m living in Nathan’s house. With Nathan.”) Who will win…tonight? (click for more)

First we get a nice montage of our final three’s wonderful spaces and also the disasters from some other people. Season long montage! Finally it is morning in the loft. Nathan says that like all of us, he thought he was going home last episode. As he puts his shirt on (Kmanpat: “Aww!”) he says how he is going to fight back to the top. Preston reminds us that he didn’t get plastered and stupid with Eddie and Nathan because there’s a history of addiction in his family. This is accompanied by pictures of Preston as a child. I especially like the one where he’s sitting on a plastic tub, surrounded by paint-splattered walls and paint cans. Oh man. Ondine lets us know they have $60,000 to spend on furniture today. Nice. She’s very excited for this opportunity. Ondine lived the 80’s to the fullest, according to her pictures. Where are Nathan’s pictures? Anyways, the 80’s look was something she designed herself. That makes them cooler.

Wallpaper! That’s about how long that shopping trip lasts. Why don’t they get lots of time to design? Didn’t the two finalists last season get months to plan? Everyone discusses the concept of their houses. Nathan‘s concept is “hip, young, good looking art collector‘s house“, Preston is doing “sleek and modern with a traditional twist” , and Ondine is doing “Danish modern chic.” None of those seem like anything more than buzz words. There’s a very cute shot of everyone sleeping in the car. Hee.

The next day, everyone meets India at the houses. They have a little more than 2 days. All the rooms have been painted and wallpapered, and everyone gets 2 carpenters and 1 seamstress. But of course, they might need more help. So Natalie, Andrea, and Eddie pop out of one of the houses. Eddie is bitchy as usual, because of course he just got eliminated. Nathan gets Natalie, Preston picks Eddie (oo, he’s pissed), and Ondine gets Andrea. Preston says he’s pleased. Eddie demonstrates why they should have passed him over by saying if Preston asks him for coffee he’ll tell him to go f*** himself. Eddie: YOU ARE NOT FUNNY. Actually it’s also entertaining that Andrea, who chose to go home, is paired with Ondine, the person she saved.

One of Ondine’s rooms has bright yellow stripes. Andrea complains that she totally could have done this challenge and rocked it. Eddie views Preston’s rooms as hotel rooms. Whatever. He complains about the heat and then pretends that he respects Preston’s designs. Natalie loves Nathan’s room that almost got him eliminated. NOW we get the pictures of Nathan, all blond and precious. And with freckles. Ondine has a 12’ by 12’ headboard of mirrored tiles for her carpenters to make. Nice. She worries if they can finish. Preston rearranges his rooms, because he’s changing the room he made into a dining room. Nathan makes 7 people move this giant ass chest/sarcophagus into his house. Up the stairs. When he gets it in there, he discovers that it’s too big. Oh, Nathan. You could have avoided that. He wants to move it or possibly cut it in half, but he can’t bear to move it again after all that.

Everyone gets $5000 to shop at one “dream” store. I thought there’d be more shopping shots. Back at the houses the assistants are running the show. Eddie is wandering around, and Natalie says she’s doing more than Eddie but that’s because Preston wouldn’t give Eddie anything to do. Hee. Preston calls him and tells him to do some painting, and move some stuff, and basically refutes what Natalie just said. Eddie, because he is mature, rolls his eyes and makes faces, and eventually ditches the phone on the staircase and leaves. Asshat. Do you think Martha approves of that? What if I hired you to design something? Would I have to worry about you rolling your eyes and ignoring me all the time? I hope you get fired for that.

As the designers return, Nathan lets us know they have 2 ½ more days. Todd time! He loves Preston’s wallpaper in the bedroom, which is a floral dark brown that I feel we’ve seen before. Cut to a shot of Nathan’s house, with the same wallpaper. Somewhere else though. Ondine’s got a lot of dark furniture. Todd only has praise for everyone, of course.

Ondine goes to check on her furniture, which hasn’t arrived, and the construction stuff is going slowly. So she’s freaking out. But this doesn’t prevent the designers and their helpers from heading for the pool after work. Hee. Nathan lets us know he “got to show off [his] body”. (Kmanpat: *drool*) He’s made lifelong friends. Lord, I hope not with Eddie. Preston sits in a deck chair while everyone else is in the hot tub, to get some alone time. It’s hard to get alone time when everyone is right there.

Day 2! This is the last full day. Nathan is taping and painting a console table, with the random stripes. Preston looks for shortcuts. Ondine ventures over to the carpenters and offers to speed things up. Nathan has made a chandelier out of paper plates and chicken wire. It looks like paper plates and chicken wire, but I like the shape of it. Ondine’s carpenter is like, I can only do one thing at a time, and refuses to answer her question about whether everything will be done.

The morning of the last day brings everyone talking about how they want to win and their dreams of what they’ll do when they win. 2 hours to work today, which isn’t that much time. Ondine is still freaking out. It’s a theme. Her carpenter promised her that the kid’s bed would be done when she showed up that morning, but it’s not. She’s painting valences. Nathan makes some art by pouring paint on a canvas. Ondine’s headboard with mirrors looks awesome. Finally everyone is finished. I hope this means Eddie will go away. However, Andrea gets in the more annoying comment by saying if Ondine wins she should take Andrea out for dinner and buy her an outfit. Yeah.

Ondine’s house is up first. Sadly Kelly’s dress is almost normal, although she‘s wearing a braid wrapped around her head with a big metallic flower. Her house looks comfortable. Downstairs is a sitting room in camel and dark woods, and upstairs the living room has dark wallpaper in a fan pattern and bright pink couches. It looks really cool. Shiny wall sculpture! The dining room goes along, with black and white. Master bedroom has the giant headboard with mirrors, turquoise walls with gold brocade looking wallpaper and coordinating drapes. The girl’s room is bright yellow and pink, with a bed recessed into the wall under the window. With curtains. It’s so cute! Ondine acknowledges she asked her carpenter to do a lot. Her room she did last week is the same except she has black drapes and different artwork. I like her house a lot. It looks really cool but also like you could flop on the sofa and put your drink on the table.

Preston gets the second spot. The bottom sitting room is gray and warm woods, and upstairs the “lounge” is also warm browns. He calls it a “Ralph Lauren” type feel. It’s very magazine cover. Jonathan tells him he could have used a splash of color, since everything is dark brown. He thinks that the flowers (small purple heather-type flowers) and the artwork (rusts and browns) and the drapes downstairs (green but not bright) are enough color. The room he did last week he kept the wall the same, but the whole rest of the room is different. All the furniture is brown and black and heavy in the new dining room. The master bedroom is pretty dark, with brown wallpaper. He keeps claiming his color is the green which I think is faded and not very bright. Not to serve as a pop of color. The guest room has molding and a couch with some bright cushions. The office is full of all the color that is lacking in the rest of the house. Lots of artwork, the orange bench from last week, it’s cool. He says that his house is playful and works for any client.

Nathan has a foyer instead of a sitting room. There’s a wardrobe and a big table with some artwork on it. Upstairs is his console table and a square dining table. The artwork with the poured paint is horizontal which I like, but the paper plate chandelier still looks cheap. The family room is cramped because of that giant chest thing. The sofa looks cozy. Jonathan wishes that he had used the chest as a table at least, instead of having it hulking in the corner. Nathan didn’t much change his master bedroom, and Jonathan thinks he should have. Ouch. The child’s bedroom is the coolest bedroom, although it’s very neat and clean. Not as much color as Ondine’s. The office is turquoise and has the same wallpaper as Preston’s bedroom. Lots of pictures, and a sofa and a big desk. A big foofy mirror above the desk.

India reminds everyone of the prizes, when they gather for judging. Nathan is wearing a huge necklace that says something, but I can’t read it. Jonathan had expected more lows from Nathan, but he liked what he saw. He’s chic and intellectual and surprising. Nathan’s least favorite piece is that giant chest. He tells them he didn’t take it back out of the room because of how much it took to get in, and Margaret asks if it wasn’t worth $100,000. They loved the art, especially the dining room pieces. Jonathan helps me out by asking what the necklace says, which is “another friend” in Russian. Aww. Ondine’s house was the most pulled together work they’ve seen from her. Kelly wishes there were fewer accessories. Ondine badmouths her carpenter, even though she asked him for a lot. She implies that she didn’t know he couldn’t do anything. Preston’s guest room with the molding was great, but the dining room was like a set he bought all at one store, which is bad I guess. But he fixed the bed by putting an upholstered piece in the headboard.

The judges talk alone. Everyone did an incredible job. Jonathan is “wildly conflicted”. Ondine had some big ideas that worked (headboard and child’s room) and some things didn’t work (the conflict with her carpenters). They’d like to see her let herself go a little more. Basically, they want to see the child’s room, all through the house. Backstage Ondine is still complaining about her carpenter. Nathan is bold and individual and creative, but his best room is the foyer, a room that is basically useless. Kelly disagrees, but they all agree that the wallpaper along the stairs is crappy. They love the photos in the office. Preston’s house was polished, but boring. Jonathan says it needs more “kapow”. Kelly makes faces and Margaret tells her to shush because the house can be polished but not so boring. Each designer has their clients that would hire them over the other two.

Commercials. Everyone thinks Preston should win. Silly people. Don‘t bore Nina! Or Margaret, I guess.

Everyone should be proud of themselves, but there can be only one. Nathan’s grown and is versatile, and can succeed after failure. Ondine’s progress has come from her listening to the judges, and she needs to be herself all the time. Preston has come a long way from his crappy flower arranging, and he knows exactly who he is and what his design style is. And the winner is…Nathan! Wow, I thought Ondine was going to win. Not that I’m complaining. Preston is going to have the confidence to think outside the box. Ondine knows there’s plenty of room for everyone to be successful. Nathan’s so pleased, and it hasn’t kicked in yet because he feels like he has another challenge coming up. Hee.

Thanks for reading, you guys! I’ll be back next week with “Top Chef”!
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Top Design 10/29/08--"Finale pt. 1" summary

Previously on Top Design: everyone had to make rooms out of Jonathan Adler products, which was semi-interesting. Then they designed rooms around giant sparkling chandeliers. Some of them were cool, but Preston’s looked weird. He won, somehow, even though his chandelier was only the center of the room when viewed at exactly the right angle. Nathan did a loud room that somehow worked. Eddie had immunity, which was good because his room sucked. Ondine’s room was next worst, but Andrea got really homesick and quit. In a very evil move, the judges wouldn’t just kick her out; they made her confirm that she wanted to leave. AFTER they told the women that Ondine’s room was the worst of the two. Whatever. (click for more)

Ondine (who is wearing bright red and yellow, and navy blue) tells us she’s glad that she’s still here and Andrea gave her her spot. Nathan appears with a cake covered in candles, because it’s Eddie’s birthday. Eddie interviews that he’s with a talented group of people. Notice he didn’t say he likes them. They have all managed to buy him presents somehow. Then he’s a bitch about Preston, saying he’s not part of the group and he’s too L.A. or whatever. Preston says he needs time alone and he’s not getting any. You look pretty alone sitting there by yourself.

Instead of dropping the designers off at the workroom, they end up at some townhouses in a new development. India gives them some blah de blah about how they’ve made it this far, and then gives them the challenge: design one room of one of these houses. No one looks surprised or disturbed. However, they must be wary of what they pick, because three of them will continue on and design the entire rest of the house. The finale this season, instead of lofts, will be 3 bedroom town homes. Eddie for some reason cries at this news. Ondine says she’s designed entire houses before, although she’s had a year to plan. $20,000 for this one room, and if they make it that far, $85,000 for the whole thing. Wow. So this room is supposed to make the judges want to see your entire house.

90 minutes for planning and ordering. Ondine wants to prove she’s worthy. Eddie misses his calm bedroom. Which is super rich, he says. Preston picks the family room, because he is thinking he wants a dining table. We get shots of Preston’s home, which is CRAZY. It’s very ornate and looks like no one actually lives there. He says he worked with his father in construction when he was younger. Uh oh. Nathan then shares that he began designing at 10 years old, practicing vacuuming lines into the carpet. Hee. His house is much more fun than Preston’s. He wants to show a new side of himself. Ondine thinks there is art in small spaces, so she‘s redoing one of the small bedrooms. Her house is huge and has a crapload of stuff in it. I kind of like it. Eddie doesn’t care what the judges want, he’s going to do whatever he wants. Where are the pictures of Eddie’s house?

Shopping time! Everyone runs for what they want. Eddie complains that Preston’s tagged too much. Wah. They’re all doing different rooms, so that should mean there isn’t much fighting. Supposedly. Everyone escapes without much bloodshed and goes to another store. Ondine seems to be at a loss, and can’t find what she wants. She’s flailing at the last minute, and tries to explain her list, but I think she wrote it in shorthand so she’s not sure the salesperson understood her. In the Top Design show room, there is a lot of name flashing. I guess they collected stuff from different stores and shoved it all in there, but they still wanted to namedrop sponsors or something. That would explain why there are papasan chairs in there.

Back at home, Eddie is making shooters and drinks for everyone. He and Nathan and Ondine party while Preston hangs out by himself. He’s got a history of alcoholism which would explain why he’s not partying. Then…um…Nathan comes downstairs in a curly wig and a headband and some of Ondine’s clothes. And heels. It’s…just…wow. He pretends to be India, although he really should pretend to be Kelly since she’s the one with the headgear. He’s also pretty drunk. (Kmanpat: “Oo, drunk and in tight pants! Yay!”) Eddie puts his hands all over Nathan. Ondine talks about how silly they are and how she likes it. Is…is that a tongue stud? Nathan has his tongue pierced? Why didn’t I notice that before? Eddie complains that they were all having fun and then Preston wasn’t, like “he got on the wrong bus”. Then for some reason Nathan and Eddie are doing a confessional together. Is Eddie sitting on Nathan’s lap? And they’re making fun of Preston, which consists of pretending to blow up their muscles. Eddie is like, Nathan! I, we have to shave you! Because he shaves! And Nathan gives him a LOOK. Why did the producers let them do this drunk? This is unsettling, like in a minute they’re going to go hold him down and try to shave his head. Bur I must admit, when Nathan bites his necklace and looks coy it’s very cute.

In the morning somehow no one is too terribly hung over. There’s a montage of Nathan’s rooms that he‘s done on the show…uh oh. Overnight the wallpaper and paint people have been here, and also the furniture delivery people. Everyone gets movers for two hours. Ondine’s desk is too big and won’t fit in the door. She asks them to dismantle the desk, but the legs are glued onto the top so it looks like that won’t be happening. She says if it won’t fit in the room she might as well stop now. Preston makes the movers move the furniture around, just like he used to do when he moved as a child. He is kind of annoying about it but hey, I would make them move it too. By some miracle (I think removing two doors or something) Ondine’s desk has made it into her room. Eddie comes over, for some reason, because he has nothing better to do. Neither does Nathan. They both like her room. Well, Nathan does. Eddie says some babble but I hear the phrase “tranny ding dong”. Sweetie, you are not Christian. You are 5 inches and at least 50 pounds over.

Todd time! He likes Preston’s accessories, which are silver antlers. He tells him he needs them. I feel like that’s important. Todd asks Ondine about her sad window treatments, and suggests she get floor to ceiling drapes. She doesn’t have time for that. But she’s going to try. Eddie’s room is blue and has a nature tree wallpaper design. He says maybe it’s not what the judges want but he doesn’t care. Todd loves Nathan’s crazy but he’s going more calm today. Todd begs him to do something crazy. This doesn’t look good.

Preston glues plates to a wall. Well, he puts glue and then nails underneath. Nathan knows that this space isn’t really “him” like the judges have seen him, but he is hoping doing something different will help him move on. Ondine’s drapes don’t turn out the way she wants so she’s scrapping them.

Stupid Jeff Lewis is back to guest judge instead of Kelly. I dislike him so. Eddie is up first. All light blues, with a wallpaper with trees on it. Everything else is white, the linens, lamps, sideboard, the random lattice on the walls. The side tables have bamboo hangings on them to hide anything you might want to store underneath. It’s a very calming room but it’s kind of boring. Margaret lifts up the bamboo to look under the end tables, and Jeff tells her she could work on “The Price Is Right.” Oh, yes, Jeff Lewis, please insult Margaret. I will enjoy watching her kick your ass. Jonathan asks why the bed is all white without any throw pillows, and Eddie says he wanted it to be hotel-esqe. Jeff makes a crack about Jonathan Adler pillows, and Eddie kisses Jonathan’s ass while Jonathan (wearing a navy blazer and bright red pants, jeez) rolls his eyes. Eddie says his whole house would be “easy breezy” and relaxing.

Nathan’s bedroom has very pale blue walls, almost white. The bed is blue with white accents, with a black wood headboard. There’s a sideboard in rich wood. There’s a jar of nails by the bed, apparently instead of flowers. But other than that…this room is not Nathan and it’s not very exciting and it makes me sad. He claims a sexual influence and India tells him they’d be worried if there wasn’t. Jonathan is confused because he can’t find it, and Jeff points out the nails and says he knows Jonathan’s been trying not to look at them. Shut up, Jeff. There are no window treatments on the windows. Oh, Nathan. He pretends he didn’t see what he wanted.

Preston’s room has a bold blue-green wall with a diamond pattern. It’s apparently grass cloth. One big white couch, a dark blue silk chair, orange long bench, black chair. He claims to not like to use two of one thing in a room, which we know is not true. The plates are to tie into the kitchen. Preston likes that it was easy and soothing on the eye, and India jumps in to tell him that he himself is “easy and soothing on the eye.” Hee. Jeff asks about where the TV would go, and Preston I think is planning the TV downstairs. Jeff is weirdly insulting about it, like that he’s rubbing in that he has a life. I don’t know. This is Preston’s whole color palette for the house.

Ondine’s room is all in black and white, with only two walls papered in white with a black floral design. There’s a big white couch, and that desk. She says the wallpaper makes the room look bigger. She also explains that she ditched the window treatment because it was crappy. Jeff likes that everything is black and white except for one burst of color in a painting. She’s already planned the whole house, she says, so she’s hoping to be able to do that.

Judging time! Nathan put some things in the bathroom, which is good, but Margaret liked the bathroom better than the bedroom. The painting he had over the sideboard was great, but the feeling of the painting didn’t follow through into the rest of the room. Jeff wanted more edgy stuff. Oh, I knew it. Jonathan knows he’s done better stuff, and Nathan wanted to do a “pretty” room, but pretty rooms aren’t memorable. Preston is clean and polished again. He has good taste, but Jeff wished the bench was not there because it was crowded. Preston thought he had accounted for everything, but “inches make a huge difference”. *snicker*. Sorry, I am 12. Margaret wishes to have seen more Preston in the room, and Jonathan agrees. Ondine’s room was happy, but as she was trying to be simple the white walls look naked and so does the sofa with no throw pillows. Jeff decides to be the famewhore that he is and says they don’t all agree with Jonathan, he loved the black and white. Margaret likes the editing. Eddie’s room is not young or personal. Eddie, for some reason, is wearing a checked jacket and vest, and a bow tie. Sigh. Jeff doesn’t like Eddie’s style, and he pretends at first that it’s just a difference of opinion, but we all know Jeff is an asshat so you have to give it a minute to kick in. Sure enough, he thinks Eddie’s demographic has walkers and bedpans. Margaret just shakes her head. Eddie’s room is strong and classically styled, but he has a big personality and they want to see that in his rooms. Jonathan tells him he doesn’t think enough sometimes, and he plays it safe.

Preston was smart this week with different textures and is always thinking. They know his house will be great. Ondine took the smallest room and pulled it together. Jonathan is rooting for the underdog. They start to talk about Eddie, and Jeff is like, look at his clothes! You can tell! His room feels kind of impersonal, but he is capable of more. Jeff insists that Eddie has bad taste, but Margaret is like, just because it’s not your taste doesn’t mean it’s bad taste. But Jeff tells them that since he’s judging Eddie, it does matter. Margaret wants sexy, but Jeff is like, look at the man, he can’t do sexy. It sounds like Margaret is defending Eddie. Who is busy in the backroom flipping off the judges and being stupid again. Everyone agrees Nathan screwed up this week, but they also would be excited by his house. They don’t want an entire house that looks like his bedroom. Nathan tells the other designers he would have loved to cut up his headboard and glue the pieces to the wall.

Ondine’s room this week was lovely, and they tell her she’s moving on. Preston too. Eddie is consistent and is a great stylist, and Nathan is not consistent (but it sounds like his highs are higher). Nathan…congratulations! I can breathe again. Jeez. Nathan is in the finale, and Eddie is going home. Eddie feels some relief, and he regrets nothing. He says the show didn’t change him at all, he’s awesome and he’s bigger than this show. This isn’t the last we’ll see of him. Too bad.

Next time: some surprise, probably ex-contestants come to help, people freak out, Eddie is paired with Preston for maximum annoyance. Someone wins!
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Top Design 10/22/08--"Light It Up" summary

Previously on Top Design: the designers showed us their ideas for rooms…OF THE FUTURE! Really, though, they were OK mostly. Preston won, because he had some idea for a hotel that involved crown molding used like siding. Eh, I wasn’t that impressed. Andrea kept talking about how she was homesick or whatever, but in the end Natalie went home. Her idea for a hydraulic platform that you could raise and lower was a pretty good one, but her execution wasn’t that exciting and it was kind of not futuristic. Luckily for us Eddie has started to say stupid stuff, so we won’t be without sound bites. (click for more)

Eddie announces to everyone that today he will be wearing underwear. He pretends he doesn’t hate Preston for winning last time, and also that “we” (whatever combination that is, I think he means the other designers) don’t let Preston play. Then for some reason he chastises Preston for loading the dishwasher wrong, or something. Preston doesn’t appear to care. There’s a random knock at the door and Andrea opens it to find some flowers from her husband. How was he able to get those in there? Does he know where they are or did he have to leave them with a producer? Also there is a love poem. Barf. She is still homesick. Haha, her poem is signed “Ricky”. Ondine’s been let in on the giant secret of how Andrea is Rick Schroeder’s wife and she explains that he’s an actor, in case we don’t know. Then she says she’s thrilled to have met Andrea, so I guess one of them is going home.

In the workroom there are two giant piles of all of Jonathan’s products. India comes in, and then Jonathan, to announce a Pop Design challenge. Eddie namedrops his stupid job to show how he’s all confident. Everyone gets the same sofa and tables and shelves, and they have to accessorize with all of Jonathan’s stuff. Oh, and books from the other judges. Winner will get not only immunity but some other unspecified prize. Nathan loves getting immunity but he feels like everyone assumes he’s not working hard in the main challenge, an idea which is “baloney sandwiches.”

Andrea is already freaking out and talking about how she’s an underdog. Oh man, I wish Natalie was still here, she’d have some crazy stuff. Eddie snobs that if he wanted to work at a Jonathan Adler store he would have filled out an application. Not funny, and also the smirking ruins the joke, genius.

Andrea has a cool rug, and a pink cloth over the table, and she turned the bookcase on its side. That way she wouldn’t have to put anything on it. Oh, don’t tell the judges that. Her room’s OK but it seems like something anyone could do, not just a “designer”. Ondine went for black and white and blue. The accessories on the bookshelf are blue. Her style isn‘t really my style but I think it‘s pretty good. Eddie has a zebra rug and some oranges and yellows. He actually tells Jonathan that he hates “one-stop shopping” and wouldn’t normally do that. Then he kisses Jonathan’s ass about the rug he got. Jonathan calls him a stylist, and for some reason Eddie refuses to admit that he is actually a stylist. Weird. Jonathan gets on him for not admitting what he is, and Eddie makes fun of his height and calls him an elf. No, seriously. What is his problem? Nathan, of course, has a British flag rug and a ton of color to go with it. It’s very bold and very Nathan. Preston babbles about balance and there’s some yellow in the design. He admits that this could be a living space but also a showroom. Usually those two things don’t go together.

Andrea wasn’t pulled together, especially because of the shelves. Preston screwed up too, and it was too “showroom” and didn’t show his voice. Everyone else was really good. Eddie’s room looks like him and not a Jonathan Adler showroom. It’s rich. Eddie still manages to look pissed. Nathan has balanced subversive and chic. Hee. I think “subversive and chic” is a good combination of adjectives for Nathan and also an excellent combination in general. Ondine has a sweet feminine casual mood. Eddie wins. When they pull back to show him all happy I see he is wearing manpris. Not even real manpris, but jeans he rolled up to mid-calf. He says he doesn’t want to sound like an a**hole (which should be your clue about what he‘s going to say next) but he totally doesn’t need immunity. Eye roll. Now in the tradition of “Project Runway” it is field trip time!

They go to L.A. Mart, which isn’t open to the public. Andrea’s husband is filming a movie across the street so she’s all aflutter. Behind India there is a giant Swarovski branch. It’s really pretty but like, tree size. She tells them that behind her are five huge Swarovski chandeliers, and this week’s challenge is to design a room around one of these chandeliers. Heh. Eddie, since he won, can decide the order they get to choose. He starts giggling while everyone freaks out. He picks first, of course, and picks a long rectangular box. Then Andrea can pick, and at first he says Preston is next but changes his mind to this order: Andrea, Nathan, Ondine, and Preston last. His reasoning is that he’ll never be friends with Preston so what does he care? “A gay’s gotta do what a gay’s gotta do.” (Kmanpat: “Hey, I‘m all about gays doing what they want to do. And I‘ll help them do it.” Me: “That‘s all you, then.”) Andrea picks a very tall green column. Nathan chooses a spiky branch-like clear chandelier. Ondine goes with a fish net with what looks like white marbles in it. So Preston gets stuck with the one that is a cross between a Hershey’s kiss and a disco ball. He’s pretty pissed off. They have 2 hours to paint, and 7 hours to work. Their budget is $22,000 (!).

We’re back to the fake rooms, although I think they only get two walls this time. Eddie plans a hip dining room with pea soup green walls. Nathan notices shadows coming off his chandelier so he tapes off shapes on the walls to accent that. Eddie calls him “tranny” as he comments on the room which 1. no, and 2. YOU ARE NOT CHRISTIAN. Nathan’s making a bratty rich girl’s room. Ondine thinks her chandelier is exotic so she’s making an eclectic bedroom. Andrea is actually painting chocolate brown on the walls. I know! As we watch her paint you can see that the chandeliers are carefully wrapped in plastic. Preston has black on his walls, again. He’s left big white panels, though. His plan is to make a masculine cocktail lounge type room. Nathan is trying to paint inside his tape lines, with a roller in each hand. Preston is done early so he’s trying to help and Nathan is all, I’m done! No need for help! Bye! He doesn’t like that Preston is always around trying to make comments. When Eddie offers to help, though, he gladly tells him to pick up a tray. I find Eddie much more annoying than Preston, but whatever. Nathan’s walls will be purple and neon green. Preston watches them work. That’s cold. He says that he doesn’t let his personality out until he’s been around people a lot and he’s comfortable. I would think he’s been around them enough, 24/7 for how many days? But I get what he’s saying.

Shopping time! Only two hours to shop. Nathan buys a life-size wooden horse and then declares that he wishes he was this rich bratty girl. Hee. Andrea is now going for “Hollywood vintage” so she’s spending a lot on the couch she picked out. Eddie finds the Martha Stewart section and starts buying stuff. Um…Martha isn’t what I would consider “modern” or “hip”. His whole buying montage is overlaid with an interview where he talks about how incredibly awesome it is to work for Martha Stewart. Barf.

So the reason Eddie was buying Martha Stewart furniture is because when he saw that section, he changed his idea entirely and now it’s a traditional room he’s going to style the hell out of. He brags about how his ideas are gifts from God as we see that his walls are pale green and beige, with gold leaf highlights. Like, literal leaves. He cackles at his own joke while Nathan and Andrea look on in horror. Nathan shudders in interview and says “Martha, Martha, Martha!” and then giggles at his own joke.

Todd time! Nathan’s left one wall white, but Todd suggests he make sure it still looks finished. Ondine’s chandelier isn’t very big and might get lost over the bed. I guess the chandelier is supposed to be the focal point of the room. Preston has bright orange furniture. Andrea is worried that his chairs are too traditional, but she can accessorize them. Todd loves Eddie’s floor, and Eddie interviews that he doesn’t need anyone to stop by and tell him his designs are good because that’s his job. SHUT UP. It’s like Kenley.

Ondine is moving her chandelier so it’s more dramatic. Nathan’s got his chandelier over a very cool modern chess board. Eddie doesn’t have enough to do so he goes over to Preston to force him to admit that he likes his chandelier now, and it looks good. But then he smirks to the camera about it. Eddie, dear, you aren’t funny enough nor are you hot enough to be this bitchy. Andrea is having Nathan and Eddie help her style her room. Nathan thinks his room is the only one with a jolt of color. It kind of is. There’s some kind of stupid sequence where they filmed Eddie blowing out candles and then ran the footage backwards. I don’t know. Nathan voiceovers that everyone’s room is so different that it’s hard to know what the judges will think.

Kelly is not here today. Do you know who is here today? Simon Doonan! This should be fanfreakingtastic. Andrea’s room has one brown wall and one wall with green wallpaper with this vertical oval print. It looks really cool. Cream colored sofa and chairs, and flower arrangement. The brown wall has a giant mirror. The chandelier is about as tall as the room, and she put it almost in the corner, like a floor lamp. The green goes really well with the wallpaper. She wanted a different coffee table, at first. Not sure why she didn’t get one. The table is more 80’s rather than the 50s/60s/70s she wanted. India asks Margaret if she feels like she’s sitting in some starlet’s home, and Margaret hesitates for a long time before admitting it’s glam.

Ondine: huge wingback bed, in pink, with one dark purple or brown wall and one lavender wall. There are a lot of Asian things hanging around. There’s also a shiny dresser. The lamp is not very big and it’s totally lost with all the other things going on in this room. She says there’s a lot of her in this room, and she pulled from a ton of showrooms. It wasn’t her first choice for chandelier, but she likes it. But she also knows that it’s not really big enough to hold down a whole room.

Preston: black walls, with a big panel of a white design in the center of each wall. The design has crosses in it…it’s hard to describe. There’s some metal, black, and white furniture, and two orange chairs. The chairs are cool. The chandelier is over above a chaise lounge and it’s not really the focal point of the room. However, it’s centered above the lounge and in the middle of the wallpaper panel. He and Simon discuss not using the wallpaper over the whole wall and not wallpapering corners. He’s tried to focus your eye on the chandelier, but when the cameraman shoots from the “front” with the chandelier off to the side, the orange chairs make the other wall look like the front, and since that’s the only color he has, why didn’t he put the chandelier over there? Preston even has to tell the judges where to stand so the chandelier is in the center. You have to move around in his room. Bleh.

Eddie, I know when you are working you are wearing your undershirt with all the holes in it, but seriously, for judging, put a shirt back on. He has a very traditional dining table and chairs and sideboard, in a dark wood. The walls are green and gold with gold leaves dividing the panels. The chandelier is on display, because in a dining room, your eye is easily drawn to the lighting above the table. Sadly it looks good. Behind one table there’s a mirrored screen and what almost looks like the back of a couch, except there’s not room for one there. India reminds everyone Eddie has immunity, and he’s like, oh, I forgot, but Simon’s all, bitch please. As it turns out, the thing that looks like the back of a couch is actually a couch. The cushions tricked me into thinking it was chairs. Simon says that as “a freakishly undersized person” (hee!) he wants to go see if that really works. India’s not seen that before, so Eddie has to make fun of her for living under a rock or something. Let me tell you, I doubt very much that Martha Stewart has a sofa pulled up to her dining table. Eddie regrets nothing.

Nathan’s turn. Oh, man, there are a million things going on. The chandelier is kind of small, but it’s near the center of the room and it is low enough that it’s more in focus. One wall is crazy green and purple jagged shapes, while the white wall has round mirrors hung on it. There’s a French bed and the horse is in one corner. White wardrobe (goes with the white bed), pink chair, purple ottoman, turquoise bed linens with one hot pink pillow. Cow hide rug. Jonathan calls him bananas, and Simon asks him if he took acid or crystal meth before he did the room and Nathan says it‘s acid. Hee, I told you this would be good. Margaret thinks it’s fun. Nathan loves the chandelier and how it accents the game table.

Margaret starts off the judging. She commands Eddie to describe his chandelier, which he does, reluctantly, with disgust. She totally calls him on it and asks if his hatred of his chandelier affected his design. Of course he says that it didn’t, he built the room around it, blah blah blah, and Jonathan cuts him off by saying the chandelier twinkles but in his room it’s like a casket. Ouch. Eddie can’t shut up and tells him that everyone has their own opinion and he knows lots of people who would love that room. I get hopeful for a brief moment but then remember Eddie has immunity. Margaret is mad and says that it looks like a cheap piece of crap chandelier and he phoned it in this week. He’s super lucky. I’ll say. Nathan’s room was bizarre but had such a great mood that everyone liked it. He thinks the paint mural is the most important part because the design came from the light fixture. Jonathan tells Ondine that her furniture was pulled together and had good scale but was kind of frumpy. Not the bed but the mirrored dresser. Margaret was bored by the grass cloth (I think she means the rug?) and Ondine starts talking about how the dark wall is dark so the lights stand out. Simon complains that the light is so bright that everything ended up tea-stained and melancholy. I’m…sorry, I have no idea what is going on. My best guess is that Ondine’s colors were not bold enough so it all looked sad and blah under such a bright light. Preston’s room is kind of quirky, which is good. The chairs and wallpaper were fantastic, but the mirror and chandelier are at the same level so they kind of fight. The mirror is above the chairs so if you’re looking from that angle that looks like the center of the room. Everyone else seemed to like the room, though. Andrea had much stronger color than she’s had, and her furniture was good but the accessories were pretty crappy. Like the big plastic vase with fake flowers on the table. Margaret tells her that she had things in the right places, they were just the wrong things. All of a sudden Andrea is about to cry, as she tells everyone that she was sure she’d step out of her comfort zone this time and wow the judges, but she didn’t, and now she’s thinking she’s maxed out, creatively, and intimidated. Margaret tells her to get over herself and she lacks confidence. Usually those things don’t go together. But her designs lack confidence and she just needs to believe she can do it. She’s actually crying now, and there’s a shot of Eddie standing next to her grinning. I want to smack that grin off his face. Of course it’s possible he’s trying to make her happy but I doubt it. Andrea chose to have kids early and chose that path but this designer path is in her too and she is trying to live both dreams and she’d like to go home. What? Everyone just kind of stares at her. She says she’s being realistic. The judges make her wait and kick everyone out to wait for the official decision.

Andrea is up first. Margaret knows that Andrea made an effort this week, and her chandelier was actually the focal point of her room. Jonathan is disgusted that she said she wanted to quit. As disgusted as Probst has ever been at someone who quit “Survivor”. Jonathan feels it was disrespectful to people who have worked hard to be there, but India thinks it was just raw emotion, she’s always in the bottom, so she must feel that she’s scraping along. But Ondine is always in the bottom too, and she’s not quitting, is Margaret’s argument. Everyone’s careers are at stake (sort of) and she needs to understand that. Backstage Andrea is trying to explain how her emotions were all worked up and Nathan tells her she did a good job. That’s why I love Nathan. The judges think that if Eddie didn’t have immunity he would be going home. Jonathan declares it a mortuary sitting room, if Martha Stewart did mortuaries. It’s an “Eddie Ross” look, though, which…eh. Preston is clear about his visions, and doesn’t make many missteps. The chandelier is framed perfectly, but Margaret does make sure to clarify that it’s framed perfectly only if you look from over the sofa. Nathan’s room was fantastic and over the top and based on a mood. Nathan tells the other contestants he’s not trying to be shocking and Eddie says something that I can’t make out. Don’t make me come over there. Ondine’s room was depressing and the chandelier was boring and blah. Nathan says Preston is slick and young, but he thinks he can beat him. Ondine knows it’s between her and Andrea.

India says only one of them will win, and “not all of you” will make it to final four. Preston wins. Eh. It was good, I probably just want Nathan to win because he is my favorite. The boys are dismissed, to Eddie’s voiceover about how he is over the judges and takes what they say with a grain of salt and his room was beautiful. Sigh. You should listen to the judges seeing as how they control your future on this show. Andrea had a more successful room, based on the challenge, which was to showcase the chandelier. So based on that, Ondine would be going home. This is where I knew what would happen. However, Andrea said she wanted to go home, and it’s up to her to decide. So, they tell Andrea that Ondine would be going home on merit, so Andrea knows that if she decides to stay she’s responsible for eliminating Ondine. That’s harsh. Andrea knows she could kick ass if she could just have moment with her family before the next challenge, but that’s not possible. Poor Ondine! She has to stand there while this woman decides on both their fates, and doesn’t once mention her. India asks if she really wants to go home, and she doesn’t know, and she asks Ondine what she thinks. Ondine gives her the bitchiest look and doesn’t respond. Seriously! What the hell do you think she will say! “Oh, whatever you want to do, I’ll go home.” GOD. Andrea finally says she guesses she’ll have to go home. Ondine doesn’t even try to hide her smile. Andrea has no regrets, and she thinks she’s proven herself, and she’s a mother first. Now she can go home and see her family. Yes, I know it was a dirty trick of the judges to tell her that she will control Ondine’s fate as well as her own, but to ask Ondine what she should do? Come on.

Next week: Eddie is annoyed by Preston, Ondine can’t get her furniture in her room, Nathan and Eddie goof off and Eddie is insulted that Preston won’t join in. Stupid Jeff Lewis is back to piss me off but he gets into it with Margaret so I kind of am looking forward to that fight.
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Top Design 10/15/08--"Room of the Future" summary

Previously on Top Design: there was a super gimmicky “green” challenge where the designers had to repurpose all the existing furniture and carpeting and whatnot in an office. Then for no reason everyone had to trade offices and make a design work with someone else’s purchases. It would have been hard enough with your “green” nonsense. Eddie won, mostly because Nathan bought great stuff and gave him some good ideas. Wisit ended up going home, because not only did he buy light sage and blue for a “masculine” office, but he took all of Natalie’s bold color and drained it so his room was sad. Also sad was his aria he sang on his way out, that they played a capella over his leaving. Coolest exit ever. (click for more)

Nathan will miss Wisit, but he’s shocked he didn’t win because all his comments were positive. Andrea asked her kids to write letters that she could open in the middle of the show. She’s feeling inadequate. The only opinion that matters to Preston is his mom’s. I see.

India and Margaret tell the designers to imagine it’s the year 2108, and they should design “the room of the future”. That sounds so lame. I mean, it might have cool results, but it sounds stupid. They won’t have real rooms; instead they’ll have those 3-walled spaces like last season. 45 minutes to plan with the carpenters, $7000 to shop, and two and a half days to work.

Eddie wants a fireplace. Um…OK. He describes his room as the lobby for “The Golden Clone” which is a cloning agency. Here, I’ll let him describe it for you: “I mean, no offense, everybody, but just because two people are good looking, sometimes they have really busted kids.” That makes no sense. Also there will be high benches because everyone will be tall. Andrea is scrambling because she hasn’t had time to think of something to do. She’s making a pod? A pod house? That moves? She is doing a pink room if this is her last room. Ondine also wants a fireplace, but she’s thinking of global warming, so it’s a “cooling” fireplace, and there will be fans in the walls. Natalie thought of flying saucers, so she’s using a lot of circles, and a stage of some kind. Oh, wait, it’s an elevated platform. You pick the level you want, bedroom, kitchen, whatever, and the circle goes up and down. Preston is making a space hotel, tailored and clean with stacked crown molding. Nathan is painting black on the walls, and making things flashy. He can do flashy, so that’s cool.

Jo-Ann’s Fabrics time! Nathan grabs Styrofoam to make topiaries. Eddie continues to try to claim the title of “sound bite whore” from Nathan by stating that Jo-Ann’s Fabrics “is like, gold Keds, and a stirrup pant, with a sweatshirt that says ‘Grandma loves her grandchildren.’” But he RUINS it by then buying shiny gold fabric. Sigh. Also, I love Jo-Ann’s Fabrics, so bite me.

Furniture shopping is at Modernica, of course. Andrea is buying a marble table, Eddie is buying red chairs and glass, and Preston has his usual tailored pieces. Eddie rolls his eyes. I just noticed, his shorts hit him at mid thigh. (Kmanpat: “AH HA! And you said that wasn’t cool! I told you! I don’t care if you guys make fun of my shorts, I have hot legs.”)

Painting time. Eddie is flinging red paint spatter all over his walls. Andrea tells him it’s creative. Ondine’s walls are gray with some kind of wallpaper that we don‘t see. Natalie has bright orange. Nathan (and his striped briefs) are painting black. He notices that Preston is also painting black and he gets all agitated. It’s so cute! He makes faces and flounces around all in a huff. Hee. Eddie calls Preston a “one-upper” because he always has to be better than everyone. Nathan stupidly tells Preston how his floor will be so Preston can steal his idea. He calls Preston a copycat, but DON’T TELL HIM YOUR IDEA! Jeez.

Day two brings the designers to Ikea! I wish there was an Ikea here. They only have one hour, which is no where near enough time to shop in Ikea. Ondine loses one of her lists so she can’t find all of her things. She totally freaks out. Nathan and his tight pants make fun of her. She ends up grabbing whatever she can to have accessories.

6 hours left! The carpenters are installing everything. Preston is planning to micromanage his carpenter now so he can just clean later. Nathan has frames for antique plates. Natalie realizes that her bright orange walls and shiny iridescent plastic make her room look like a strip club. Someone tells her this flat out, and she picks up a metal support pole to demonstrate. Eddie offers her all his money, if he had any. He could have left it at that, but no. He plans his perfect person out of the designers left: Natalie’s boobs, Andrea’s body (that would be so ridiculously disproportionate it’s obvious he’s gay), Preston’s lips, Ondine’s eyes, Nathan’s height, and everyone’s sense of humor. Nothing from Eddie himself? (Kmanpat: “Can he use Nathan’s ass instead?”)

Todd time! Ondine talks about her fans that she‘s mounting in the walls, and Todd likes that her design is classic but has future things. Preston’s ideas are tight with his execution. Natalie isn’t changing her chairs at all, so Todd tells her to change them up. Todd always says nice things about everyone. He can’t even say “I’m concerned about Eddie’s blood spatter” but instead he talks about how he thinks it’s weird but Eddie can pull it off. Andrea has to put together a lamp and she looks so lost amidst a sea of plastic circles. I want to help her. I like putting together Ikea furniture. India appears and everyone pretty much starts to cry.

Pop Design time! I hate these stupid twists. Always right when they should be working. Jonathan will quiz everyone and if you get a question wrong, you are out. Winner gets immunity. They‘ll be shown two pictures of similar objects. One is real, one is a remake. Everyone gets the first question right, but Eddie and Andrea miss the second one. I would just be guessing at this point. Eddie pretends that he’s fine with that because he wants to stay in the competition on merit. Preston and Natalie are out next. For the final round with Nathan and Ondine, they get the chance to look at 4 different lamps before being asked questions. Ondine tell us that the first lamp is from Ikea, the second is one of Jonathan’s own design, the third is some vintage piece but she doesn’t know the designer, and the fourth is from some big box store like Target or something. She should be careful, real designers make things for Target. The question is, which one is most expensive? Ondine goes for the Jonathan Adler while Nathan thinks it’s the vintage piece. The winner (once we get back from commercial) is Nathan. Wow, he wins everything. Good thing I like him, because otherwise I would be cursing the heavens.

Everyone returns to work with one hour left. Andrea’s lamp falls apart after she’s hung it, and she takes it down. She’s stressing out and doesn’t know what she’ll do for a replacement. Ondine somehow tips over a can of paint onto the floor. She’s freaking out about how there’s stuff all over the place and she doesn’t think she can get done.

Back in the apartment Andrea calls home. Well, they show her with the phone, but they never show the conversation. In the morning Natalie is feeling pretty good. Andrea, on the other hand, is convinced she is going home. She’s tired of being harped on, and Eddie suggests she just ignore them, or something.

90 minutes to work. Eddie is still painting lampshades. So the reason he didn’t include himself in his “perfect person”? Is because he wants to make 20 clones of himself so they can all run around and get things done because they’ll know what he’s thinking. Because he can’t get enough of himself. I can though. He does admit that sometimes he can. Preston’s hotel is supposed to be in space, so he’s bought square picture frames with pictures of stars, and then some silver spray paint. Natalie’s hung a handle for her hydraulic floor, which is just decorative. It no longer looks like a strip club. Eddie helps Andrea put down silver tape. She and Ondine are really starting to freak out, and then Ondine trips over a can of black paint that for some reason is on the floor by Eddie’s room. Black paint all over the side of the (white) buffet and (white) sofa. Oh no. As we see this disaster, Nathan interviews that when Ondine has a bad day “it’s like the Roadrunner on acid.” It was a total accident, but remarkably Eddie doesn’t start yelling about it, although I totally would.

Kelly makes up for her absence last week by wearing a miniskirt dress that seems to be made out of purple balls of yarn. With a green and white knit cap, purple socks, and green pumps. Like a Muppet gone wrong. Oh, sorry, the cap is not knit, it’s fabric in pleats. Even worse. Natalie: she’s got that hydraulic system, so the floor is supposed to move up and down to the different levels. Of course she can’t make something like that (no one really expects her to, I’m pretty sure). The walls are orange and the back wall is silver. There’s a rug on the black floor, and an elevated platform with come chairs. There’s big black shelving unit screening the sitting area from where everyone is standing. She’s only got one level on display, so the whole concept doesn’t really shine through. Dining table in the corner, and round artwork. The orange isn’t something she’d use all the time now. Ondine: gray walls with a big white square fireplace. Inside the fireplace is a big tube, lit up from the inside. There are 4 box fans mounted in the walls, and some photos also. A white sofa and white chairs, a coffee table, and some black grids for screens. The wall behind the sofa is pink paisley, with two huge florescent lights, because in her future there isn’t any natural daylight. A side table holds some sad looking potted plants. Eddie: the blood spatter is muted by a red fireplace, and the lower half of the walls are solid red. There is a big white sofa (and you can still see bits of the black paint) with black pillows and lamps. There’s some gold artwork, which I think are exhaust fans that are painted, and some tubing. Also there are two red chairs. Big gold squares are on the side walls which help with the spatter. He explains the paint accident. The tubing thing on the fireplace is supposed to be DNA, but Kelly asks if it’s a sperm, and it doesn’t look like DNA but it sure as hell doesn’t look like sperm either. Nathan: black walls with orange accents. The back wall is covered in white circles, like bubbles. They look almost like paper plates with black borders. On one side wall are antique plates on display. He’s turned a cat scratcher into a coffee table. The seating is wicker and leather. Andrea: pink walls (they might be Pepto-Bismol) with a round mirror but also a pass-through cut into one wall. A white table with natural wicker chairs, and some white shelves. A wicker chaise lounge and a zebra hide rug. The pass-through is supposed to be a replicator. She’s cut doorways into the walls, which is cool. Preston: there’s a short half-wall dividing the dining space from the sitting area. The dining space is white with a round white table and red chairs, and metal shelves with plants. The wall is covered with shiny fabric so it reflects the light. There’s a leather lounge, a coffee table, and one chair. The dining area has stacked molding, like siding.

Jonathan says they won’t tell anyone who won because they want to grill everybody. Preston had originally planned to paint his molding another color, but he thought with the red chairs it would be too much. Kelly thinks he should have concentrated on one room, but it was still pretty good. Kelly loved Nathan’s room but it was too cluttered. He knew that, but he wasn’t sure how to get rid of anything without the room looking unfinished. Margaret tells everyone she didn’t think it was futuristic, but India is all, well I agree with Kelly, so everyone laughs. Ondine has big ideas, but she can’t always make it work. She made the fireplace her focal point, because she wanted a traditional room but with a twist. Kelly wishes she had like 16 fans for a focal point. Margaret was reminded of a city bus but the fans. Eddie stepped out of his comfort zone, which Jonathan loved, except for the blood spatter. Kelly liked the accessories but comes out of nowhere to label it “granny gone wild”. Eddie giggles and asks if that’s a video, to hide his anger I’m sure. Natalie’s theme was great, but the execution didn’t follow through. The bookshelf wasn’t planned out that well, because she had a problem that she only figured out after she built the stage. Oops. Andrea’s module pod idea was great but the room itself was too much like a normal modern room. The table and chandelier were too big and ended up being the focus when they shouldn’t have been. She laughs about her Ikea light disaster but no one seems amused.

Margaret starts us off by saying she’s disappointed in Natalie, even though she had a theme. The execution was sad. Jonathan thinks she is talented but too green. Andrea had a better idea, maybe, but India felt it was a cop-out. Keep all the “futuristic” stuff outside so your room can look like any other room. Margaret didn’t get the replicator thing, and Kelly pipes up to say she liked it, and Margaret pats her on the arm all, I know you did sweetheart, grownups are talking now. Andrea is trying. Preston’s rooms are always finished every time. Eddie never listens to criticisms, according to Jonathan, but Margaret thinks he’s moved away from “granny”. Ondine’s rooms always have a mood, but this one has no polish. She has a problem with execution just like Natalie. Kelly and India think Nathan’s room is futuristic, but Margaret has a sour look on her face, and she doesn’t really agree. Nathan is actually able to execute all his ideas.

Preston is the winner this week. Nathan and Eddie look irritated. All three boys get to leave. Natalie stopped short of being innovative, Andrea was her old boring self, Ondine didn’t bring it together. Natalie is out. She makes it backstage before she loses it. She knows it’s the beginning of her career, so she’s excited about that.

Next week: everyone freaks out, Eddie goes crazy. I have no idea what is going on.
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Top Design 10/8/08--"Eco-Offices" summary

Previously on Top Design: finally we got individual challenges. There was a “triathlon” of sorts. Nathan won the chair leg (last time, I promise) and also the table setting leg. Then there was a leg which involved making sets for a photo shoot, and Natalie won that, although her set wasn’t that great. Doesn’t matter though, because Nathan wins the whole thing. Teresa is judged not interesting enough and was eliminated. I just reread my recap from last week, and I’m really sorry for all the typos. I’ll try to proofread better this week. (click for more)

Eddie is bitter about not winning and implies Martha Stewart will fire him if he doesn’t win. Natalie knows she is loud and is trying to edit. Andrea believes in her heart she is not the best one here. She will try to do something different this time.

In the workroom there’s a chalkboard with a floor plan tacked to it, with all the rooms in different colors. Eddie knows what is coming. India and Danny Seo are here. Danny is a “green” designer, so I guess this is some kind of hippie treehugging challenge. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for saving the environment and whatnot, just not as much as most of these people. They will have to redesign offices in an eco-friendly way. They have to use all of the items in the offices that they find, so they can’t throw anything out. They have special paint with low fumes, and they can’t buy fabric, they have to use remnants. Which is how I made my curtains in my apartment, so: ha. And the Top Design Showroom will have a special eco-friendly section. India (in voiceover, so who knows if it’s true) says that sticking to the environmentally conscious rules will be just as important as a good design. Everyone gets their own client, random draw. One day they should do rock-paper-scissors or something.

Nathan gets a cute boy, but the office sucks. It has crappy carpeting and metal file cabinets and two cheap desks, because eventually they’ll be putting two people in there. His client has lived in East Africa, so they choose some warm colors. Natalie is picking bright colors. She’s got the same crappy furniture, everyone has that. Eddie is horrified at the carpet and immediately complains to the client that his office is terrible and the worst ever. In confessional he pouts that his client is a dork. He wants something funky, which of course is not Eddie at all. “I hate that word. It sounds like it should smell, like, ooh, that’s funky.” Does…does he understand that “funky” is actually used to refer to things that stink? That’s like a Natalie comment. He promises a “super cool” room, which is almost as vague as “funky”. Wisit lucked out and got the boss, so he has no ugly carpet. But his client wants masculine. That should be fun. Andrea has to design the reception area. I spy in the corner some halogen lights like you’d find in a dorm room. Immediately she moves the desk to help her plan. Preston is so pleased that his client matches his style. But then his client ditches him to deal with the conference room, which is what Ondine has. I feel like it’s not really fair to not give everyone a private office. A conference room has different requirements for design than an office. Plus it doesn’t have carpet.

Fabric shopping involves giant piles of fabric on the floor, cardboard boxes, and rummaging. Naturally Eddie demands antihistamines and would probably love to have some gloves. (Kmanpat: “Calm down, prissy boy, an hour in a warehouse with clearance fabric remnants won’t kill you.“) Wisit has chosen pale beige and gray-green for his masculine challenge. The “green” area of the showroom appears to have recycled stuff and office supplies, which Nathan is getting because he already has furniture. India stops them at the end of shopping to make them line up. They all know this can only be bad. She says that they want to see if they can take some more pressure and makes them hand over the keys to the offices. Everyone rolls their eyes and curses. They have to pass the keys one person to the right. So now they have a new office and they are inheriting the decisions the first designer made. Wisit has Natalie’s old room, so he is worried, while Eddie has Nathan’s old room. He is very pleased.

They have one hour to meet and figure out their new rooms. Ondine doesn’t think Wisit chose masculine colors so she’s scrambling. Wisit is worried about his new room, and wants to burn Natalie’s things. “I suppose it wouldn’t be so green, but at least it would bring more peace to the world.” Heh. Andrea and Natalie don’t match either, so Natalie is worried about doing the reception area. Andrea was at first pleased about having Eddie’s room, but then it appears it’s a very small office and Eddie has bought all bright blue paint and fabrics for the room. Andrea interviews that she is worried as she and Eddie move (and subsequently break) the desk. Eddie and Nathan click, of course. Nathan’s plan is to cut the carpet and put it on the walls. It’s not Eddie’s style but he’s cool with it. Preston knows what he’s doing but Nathan feels it’s not new. He wants to put his own style in it. Preston freaks out because Ondine has the biggest room.

Carpenter/seamstress time! Nathan wants “work horses” to make the desk with. His carpenter has to ask him if he means “sawhorses”. Hee. Andrea’s carpenter jokes with her. Eddie spazzes out about light fixtures.

The next day everyone comes back to look at the carpenters’ work. Preston works in a wife beater. (Kmanpat: “It’s called an A-frame t-shirt. And, yum.”) Natalie is trying to make art with her old bookshelves, covered in fabric. Wisit doesn’t want to cut up his furniture. Ondine has to work with the stupid fabrics Wisit bought. She’s making a chandelier with plastic water bottles. Eddie has a ton of work. Andrea’s walls are a bright teal blue and she’s freaking out.

Todd time! Eddie put both desks together in his room, to make a big table. I hope they like that. Natalie is making double sided pillows. Todd tells Andrea to make 3 white things. There’s a rule of threes? Or something? Todd says Andrea, Wisit, and Natalie have the biggest challenges.

Frantic painting, stapling, working. With two hours left the clients show up. Just in time to not be able to change anything! None of the clients really say anything bad. Except Natalie’s client, she asks for recycling bins. Natalie thinks she has leftover wood to make them. Wisit is really defensive in his interviews which makes me worried. Everyone takes a few minutes to visit their old rooms. Eddie says he’s not helping Andrea because he doesn’t want to put his name on her crappy room. Natalie is insulted that Wisit isn’t using her fabrics, but Andrea is irritated that Natalie put boards on the walls. This episode is confusing. Too many things going on.

India has the most gorgeous gown on with this collar of crystals. I want it. Kelly isn’t here for me to make fun of. Eddie: one wall is the padding from underneath the carpeting, all cut up into squares and used as a bulletin board. The room is kind of dark, with orange/brown walls. The wooden blinds are disassembled and placed over the florescent lights all criss crossed, and also over the door. Eddie is still wearing an undershirt full of holes. Natalie: the paint is a kind of mauve, and there are some new shelves. The fabric boards are behind the desk, and she says they can be used for memo boards, although they are just fabric over wood, with no padding. She’s also got the recycling bins, but they’re unpainted. There’s a long bench under the window for seating. She also admits that she likes the color. Wisit: it’s supposed to be bold and colorful, but it’s pale blue and gray, with some sage accents. There’s fabric draped over the rolly office chairs. It’s soothing, but not bold and colorful. Probably the best thing is that the two desks are now pushed together in an L shape. He’s distressed the desk drawers, though, and I am not a fan of the distressed look. Underneath some fabric (not cut or anything, just draped) are the fuzzy chairs Natalie bought. He claims he edited and didn’t buy things he didn’t want. Ondine: the walls are a pale green, and she tried to make it masculine and professional looking. The bookshelves are painted so they look like built-ins, and over the fluorescent lights she’s glued empty water bottles. From far away though, the lights look much the same. She admits she was confused about Wisit’s choices, and India even goes so far as to say she thought this was a woman’s office. Nathan: very dark, with dark green walls and dark shelves. Two walls are white and one is charcoal. The legs of the desk are shelves now, and the top of the desk set on the sawhorses. His curtain rods are the cardboard tubes from inside his bolts of fabric (holding up dark curtains) and there’s some art with left over fabric. Preston: a nice soothing blue, with molding in big open frames. The conference table is painted in the same motif, blue with a white border. It looks very elegant. Andrea: bright teal walls with white shelves and accents. The desk is dark wood, with two lamps on it. Those lamps are big square lamps. She hid the metal thing on the wall that seems to have no purpose. The original desk is cut up into pieces and painted white, and scattered around on the walls. There’s some seating with black chairs and cushions. Apparently the metal thing was the server and the computer wiring, which she’s covered and possibly cut off access to.

The judges were impressed with everyone. The good designers were good even thought they had all those challenges. Andrea actually used color! The artwork was boring but the desk placement was clever. Ondine’s chandelier was great, and her colors were the best she could do with what she had. Nathan knows how to decorate a whole room, and he can back up his edgy statements. Preston can edit himself and he knows how to lay out everything. But his “recycling bins” are tiny. They move from that to Wisit’s sad bookshelf. He doesn’t style well, and Jonathan wanted him to step it up. He didn’t meet the client’s wishes. Natalie doesn’t have the taste level yet. Plus her fabric boards aren’t really useful. Eddie really repurposed the materials, using them in new fab ways.

Everyone comes out to get grilled. Three people nailed it this week. Nathan had a great industrial vibe. Preston repainted the bookcase and styled it wonderfully, and the room was great. Eddie repurposed the carpet padding and Jonathan says he would never have known what it was. Eddie wins! I would like to point out that he stole that carpet idea from my boy Nathan. All three of the boys can leave and go drink. Andrea and Ondine are safe too. Wisit tells the judges that Natalie’s choices weren’t all his taste but he tried his best. Margaret thinks he was confused by this challenge, partly because when they asked him what he did to be creative and “green” he said he wasn’t wasteful in his shopping. His response to that is that if they want him to redo the room, it will be beautiful and timeless so they won’t have to redo it 10 years from now. Huh? Margaret calls him a one trick pony and Jonathan was bored and thinks he should have used Natalie’s colors. Natalie tried to please the client with her room. Guest judge Danny nails her for using MDF for her recycling bins, because it apparently gives off pollutants. Guess my apartment pollutes a lot, then. (MDF is “multi-density fiberboard” which is basically particle board, that they make cheap furniture out of). He wishes that she had used the wood in the fabric panels for the recycling bins instead. Margaret says the fabric panels and the pillows on the window seat say “condo” and that is bad for an office. Jonathan tells her her work is never polished. Ouch.

Margaret was disappointed in Wisit, his heart wasn’t in it and he couldn’t recover from the twist. Natalie was underwhelming. She says she’ll be sad if she goes home. Wisit has always believed in maintaining oneself with dignity.

Back out for judging. Wisit has great taste but fell down on this challenge. Natalie is young but that’s no excuse for a lack of sophistication. Wisit is out. Aww. He was so cute and fabulous. Nathan wipes away a tear. Now who will he sleep with when the world ends? Yes, Kmanpat, we know. Wisit says he hopes someone watches the show and realizes he is a great designer/artist/whatever. He sings us out this week.

Next week: “the toughest challenge yet”. Lots of breaking things and anger. And Ondine trips over some paint and gets it all over Eddie’s set. He is about to shoot laser beams out of his eyeballs.
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Top Design 10/1/08--"Triathlon of Designing" summary

Previously on Top Design: everyone had to be on teams and design apartments for bachelors. Woo. Wisit, Andrea, and Teresa won. Also we saw the return of the Pop Design challenge, this time making everyone design flower arrangements. Nathan, thank goodness, won immunity for himself so he would be safe. The other two designers on his team, Preston and Shazia, argued the whole time and the design suffered as a result. Shaz was sent home for not really contributing and whining a lot. Also Eddie’s team broke a vase in the showroom, and his response was to loudly claim that the vase was not worth the price, and that the store clerk was lying to him. How great would it have been if that guy had called the cops? Also, in an interesting turn, remember when Shaz called Preston an a**hole and stupid “Flipping Out” guy thought it was like, the worst thing ever? They showed that clip except now she calls him a dick. (click for more)

Eddie is tired of all the team challenges. I agree; I’m glad not to have to recap 12 designs all the time, but it’s gotten old. Teresa isn’t being “utilized”. You don’t know who she is, do you? Exactly. Natalie has to prove herself because she’s so young. Andrea is the only one with 4 kids and she misses them.

Everyone comes into the workroom and dear God what is that woman wearing? Kelly has on a sassy black and white checked hat, and a black blouse with giant sleeves. Like, the sleeves have huge layers and look like cabbages and she could fit that hat inside one of them. India stands next to her all “I did not dress this woman.” India tells them two things: today’s challenge will be individual (like you couldn’t tell from everyone complaining about team challenges), and it will be a “triathlon”. She can’t even keep a straight face when saying “The Top Design Triathlon”. Nathan declares himself a “smokerlete” but he’s glad to do his own thing. People in the bottom of each leg may face elimination.

The first leg is the chair leg. Polite laughter. There are 10 unfinished chairs, which they will have to transform. There are stains, paint, fabrics, and more wood. They need to be different, says the woman in the giant blouse. The winners of each leg will get immunity, no matter what happens in the other legs, and there will also be an overall triathlon winner. 2 hours and…go!

Wisit is painting the plain fabric backing. Nathan knows he can get his fabric because everyone else is boring. Andrea claims that her style is clean and classic so she can’t be not-boring. But Teresa is stapling and you can see all of the staples. And the stripes don’t line up. Ondine is making a Betsy Johnson designed chair. Then she calls Natalie’s design over the top. Nathan has gold lame fabric which he is getting paint on. Eddie doesn’t want “wow” but he does want “glam” and “beauty”. He of course thinks his chair is perfect.

Preston’s chair is painted black and has a dark purple cushion. It’s nice but not exciting. Wisit’s painted fabric looks old and antique and I like it. Eddie has bright yellow wood and silver fabric with black stripes made out of ribbon. Immediately I am reminded of Kerry and Wisit’s display window. That is bad. India just says it looks finished. Natalie’s chair looks kind of cheap but I don’t mind it. Andrea’s chair is boring, with striped fabric and a light wash. She ran out of time. Oops. Teresa has some striped fabric that doesn’t line up and it looks unfinished and amateur. Ondine’s chair…it’s bright pink with floral print fabric and whickety wack trim. But it is very Betsy Johnson. Nathan painted the wood blue, and then over his gold fabric he painted some white, but after he taped off pieces, so there are random gold stripes on white. Interesting.

Natalie’s chair was too much and she should have restrained herself. Kelly compares it to Vegas leftovers. Teresa just reupholstered her chair so it was boring. Nathan’s, however, was loud in a good way, and Eddie’s was bold. What? What? Why did no one see the yellow and silver! Ondine took a risk but it was iconic and it worked. The winner is Nathan. Yay! He doesn’t want to give up though.

Jonathan appears for leg 2. This leg is about dining tables. Nathan does an eyebrow pop. (Me: “Ooohhhh, eyebrow pop! I know he’s gay but you’d share, right?“ Kmanpat: “Yeah, I’d share.“ Me: “Woo!“) Everyone gets one table and one set of chairs. Then they’ll get $500 and 30 minutes in the showroom to buy stuff, and 2 hours to work their magic. Natalie picks the table completely opposite of what she’d normally pick. During shopping everyone gets flowers. Eddie scoffs and says this is his job, in a manner that suggests he fails spectacularly. Teresa has a theme going.

Nathan isn’t going to set his table formally, he wants to have a hang-out cottage feel. Natalie is trying not to clutter her table too much. Preston wants his theme to involve his mom. Andrea is making a family dinner. Teresa got hideous dishes that she is painting, but she freaks out because she’s kind of rustic. Eddie credits his grandmother with his design inspiration.

Teresa: black table top with red and yellow dishes and black utensils. There are brown napkins and a yellow vase and some dark glassware. It looks pretty cool, kind of Zen and not fussy. She says her design style is modern an a little Asian. Natalie: white and blue china, with these white lanterns with votives in them, and a very tall flower arrangement. Lots of yellows and oranges in her flowers/orange branches. Those lanterns are too big. She’s got blue blows and white bowls. Jonathan doesn’t like her flowers but he says he likes the rest. Eddie: long table with brown and white oval chargers and dishes. Down the middle of the table are two long boxes with green flowers and in the center are some candles and votives set tin seashells. It’s very clean for all that. Andrea: white table cloth, light blue and white dishes and roses, and silver candlesticks. It’s very light and clean. She claims it’s for her daughter’s birthday, but it’s kind of old for that. Her actual house is more rustic but this was a good chance to branch out. Nathan: sanded the table top and then didn’t set it. Instead, the dishes and glasses are stacked near one end, like for a buffet. There are lots of flowers and fruit and it’s very rustic. They like it. Preston: white table cloth with a dark green cloth over it. He also did not set his table, but because he’s got a smaller table and the tablecloths it looks more crowded. He’s also got a little display thing, like you would put petit fours on. Too many flowers. Wisit: each chair has a cover with something painted on it. The dishes are white and the covers and napkins are blue. In the center are some wicker square baskets with lids and white flowers. It’s very seaside cottage. He says he’d love to entertain friends with food and opera singing, and Jonathan says, “Shut up! Can we hear some?” so Wisit obliges. Hee. Ondine: green runner with palm trees, white chargers with green bowls. The table is white, and there are yellow roses everywhere. She calls it “garden tea party” which I can see. Jonathan tells her that he doesn’t see her in the table setting at all. She agrees and says this isn’t reflective of her taste. So…why did you do it then?

Ondine didn’t have an emotional connection with her table setting, and Preston’s wasn’t practical and had too many flowers. He wasn’t in that table setting either. Eddie’s table was very chic and could have been in a magazine. Thank goodness, that would be like Kayne failing the Miss America challenge. Once again Nathan’s design impressed the judges, being interesting and unexpected and great. Nathan wins again! He seems surprised. He feels terrible for winning twice and keeping others from immunity. “I feel like all of the other contestants want to pour Visine in my coffee. *pause* I’m sure I’m going to be poisoned.” (Kmanpat: “I’ll protect you!”) India sends them home to sleep before the next leg.

In the morning Andrea says everyone is tired. Eddie is sure he can win this leg. Nathan is also feeling confident. No shirtless shots today.

Margaret appears to judge leg 3. India says they have to make a “breathtaking space”. They will take inspiration from nature, and tell a story, and India says “breathtaking” again so I’m trying to think of how that will work. They’re designing sets for a photo shoot. “Breathtaking”? OK. They’ll also have the chance to have their sets photographed for Elle Décor. India tells them they’ll only be shopping at one location: a garden center. Heh. Dress out of flowers time! But they get $1000 which should be enough for lots of flowers.

Shopping time! Nathan is buying cacti. Eddie buys a birdbath and an urn. He just wants to do pretty. Teresa is going Zen. Natalie wants Martha’s Vineyard. Andrea is buying vegetables. That might be cool.

They’ve got 4 hours to work. The spaces they get to work in? The fake “rooms” from last season. Actually, I think they might only be getting two walls. Wisit is making a formal paneled room. Somehow. Ondine has bright neon green walls. Teresa wants a Zen bliss feeling but red walls don’t so much make me calm. Nathan’s walls look horrid, because they are baby poop brown and in addition to that color they’re all splotchy. Then Teresa appears and says they’re doing the same finish and isn’t that so great? Nathan’s response: “I diarrheaed in my mouth.” He does not want to be like Teresa. At all. So he’s painting over everything, and Natalie thinks it looks better. Preston mentions his grandma, and he is taking on the challenge of painting stripes. He said they didn’t specify it has to be a garden. Cut to Andrea’s space, which has a fountain and stepping stones and is definitely supposed to be outside. Eddie has a big circle of sod. Teresa praises him and he says that he just loves all her tobacco colors! Then he fakes smoking a joint and coughs. Ok, that was bitchy and funny. Natalie has a ton of roses, and she starts talking about her mother that passed away 3 years ago.

Everyone goes home, so I guess they’ll be judging tomorrow. Eddie and Nathan laugh at Teresa. Andrea acts superior about Eddie’s pretending to like things and how he’s not genuine.

In the morning everyone gets an hour to work. Natalie would take an Elle Décor spread over immunity. All 4 judges show up to judge. Kelly has on a sequined shift dress in pale blue with a beehive hairdo. Only they crimped her hair before they put it up. Preston: white, olive green, and maroon stripes, with a big metal chair with vines wrapped around it. There are 2 topiary trees and a smaller rose bush. He thinks his space is like a real room and it would work in a cropped shot. Teresa: mottled red walls, that I guess are finished but they look like when we painted Kmanpat’s house and we didn’t put down a primer in the one red bedroom and none of use knew how to paint so it looked horrible. There are a lot of low tropical plants and brown containers. It’s sort of jungle, but there aren’t nearly enough plants for that. There’s nothing in the center, everything is around the walls. She also didn’t do anything to the floor, because she thought she’d screw it up. Wisit: “Springtime in Paris”. He’s painted a door, and furniture on the walls, and then hung fabric for curtains. There’s a strip of sod, like a doormat, and some light flowers in white containers. The painting looks bad, though. The floor has a zigzag herringbone floor. There’s bamboo along the floor because he ran out of time to make it his curtain rod. They like it, I guess. Nathan: brown walls, with cacti along the walls. There are pots hung on one wall, and a low table and bench. It’s supposed to be a transitional space, not a formal room. Natalie: dark gray/blue walls, and a white bamboo framework. There are two Adirondack chairs painted white, and along one wall there’s a hutch with more plants on it. It’s a cute room, but not really a good photo shoot. All the plants are in gray pots. The hutch is like a work station. But the judges really like it. Ondine: neon green walls, the same white lattice as Natalie, and the same chair. There’s a stove painted white, and some shutters. A rug of sod, a low table, and a work table…it looks like a photo shoot. It also looks like a regular room with some twists. She wanted to do an interior room. Andrea: yellow walls, and lots of vegetables. She put giant mounds of dirt to raise some trees in the back, because she couldn’t afford taller trees. There are stepping stones and a fountain. Jonathan wishes she’d done something unexpected. Eddie: light green walls with stripes in a dark color, a circular mat of sod, and some nice flower arrangement in the center. There are some ferns in the back. All the pots are black. Someone (I think Kelly) says it’s still a little granny. Eddie clutches his pearls in horror.

The judges get a chance to chat a little bit before the contestants come in. They just talk about the third leg, though. Natalie nailed it, it looks polished and thoughtful. Her chair sucked but she picked it up. Eddie is dusty and granny. His room was not glam, and Margaret is bored. Preston is too complacent, but the chair in his photo shoot room was great. Wisit took his room in a good direction, with some fantasy, and more ideas than everyone else. Nathan played it too safe with his photo shoot, although is table was great. Ondine was creative but disheveled and doesn’t impress anyone. Andrea’s fountain was nice but the rest of the room was too boring. Teresa chose nice plants but she kept the plastic pots and it was unexciting. Margaret says it’s where you wait for valet parking.

Everyone comes in to get slammed. They start with the winner of leg 3: Natalie! Wow. She’s so thrilled. Jonathan announces that the overall winner of the triathlon is Nathan. Of course. He and Natalie get to leave. Preston, Eddie, Wisit, and Ondine are all safe so they get to leave too. That means it’s down to Teresa and Andrea. Jonathan asks Teresa what her best leg was, and she thinks leg 3. They tell her those were great plants but it wasn’t together. Jonathan says that if she’d done something tiny but awesome they would have loved her. Her chair wasn’t that dramatic either. Andrea lacks contrast. Her colors don’t have wow, and they don’t excite anyone. Kelly tells her to dig deeper into the color palette. Jonathan was especially disappointed with leg 3. She says she’s in the same environment all the time and it’s hard to get inspired. Jonathan tells her not to be insipid.

Teresa has not wowed anyone in any way, and he voice hasn’t been heard. Her whole style is Zen but she hasn’t done a really good job with it. Andrea’s voice has been heard, but it’s boring. Kelly says she has to open up her fandex, which I guess is that thing with all the paint colors, but India is like, “Spandex?” and they all giggle. Jonathan would love a jolt of color somewhere. Her execution is poor as well, like the plants on piles of dirt. Backstage Andrea thinks she just had a bad week.

Andrea is one note and predicable, and Teresa took her chance to show them who she was and ended up in the bottom for 2 out of 3 challenges. So Teresa is going home. She’s sad to leave and thinks she‘s the weakest competitor but not the weakest designer. She’s thankful for the opportunity.

Next week: India is shaking things up, Nathan is freaking out, I smell another team challenge. Wisit is lost.
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Top Design 9/24/08--"Bachelor Pads" summary

Previously on Top Design: we were forced into a crossover when “Project Runway” designers brought some outfits for these designers to make window displays for. Natalie and Ondine won, making a butterfly-filled pretty display for a very pretty dress of Sweet P’s. Daniel Franco had the best dress, I think, which you may have seen on Andrea at the Emmy’s this past weekend. Sadly whoever was in charge of that didn’t fit the bodice to her properly. Kerry and Wisit were forced to design for Jeffrey, and neither of them was really a good match for Jeffrey, as shown by their searing yellow and shiny wallpaper and the painting of the windows because the wallpaper was so horrid. No, really, Wisit talked Kerry into putting up a ton of the wallpaper and then they decided it sucked so bad they had to paint the windows themselves to try to hide them. Kerry took responsibility for being team leader and ended up going home. (click for more)

Preston is glad of his feedback, he thinks he can improve his designs. He says winning would be great because he’s never been in competitions? So he wants to be up against people with talent? Wisit feels guilty that Kerry sacrificed himself for Wisit, and he thinks Shazia should have gone home instead. Notice he doesn’t think he himself should have gone home. Shaz just doesn’t want to be on the bottom again.

India comes to the workroom to introduce their challenge. Their clients are clueless when it comes to design: bachelors. Hilarious. Shaz snobs that bachelors are disgusting and gross and then includes her fiancée in that list. Whatever. Nathan points out that bachelors are single men…”maybe they‘ll be hot.” I think Nathan is my favorite. (Kmanpat; “Sound bite whore.“) Obi, James, and Eddie are our bachelors. James is smoking hot. There’s only 3 of them so they’ll have teams of 3. Eddie, Natalie, and Ondine are a team. Nathan is stuck with Shaz and Preston. Nathan’s team gets Eddie (client Eddie, not blond designer Eddie) who is a young Asian man. Nathan immediately notices the fine quality of Eddie’s suit. The last team is Andrea, Wisit, and Teresa, and they have Obi. Natalie says James has some sports t-shirt and she is anticipating light up beer signs. India gives them the details: $10,000 budget and 2.5 days. Damn. They will also get painters, wallpaper people, carpenters, seamstresses. Eddie is relieved because he says his hands “look like a Polish potato farmer. During, like, the famine.” Eddie, dear, stop trying.

Everyone goes to the actual apartments, complete with pre-existing furniture. Eddie rolls his eyes at his client’s Nintendo and flat screen TV. James’s apartment is pretty empty. Not a lot of furniture. He seems pretty content to let them do whatever they want. Eddie confirms that he wants to have a cool place to have people over, namely girls, and “maybe drop their pants for you.” Eddie, shush. Obi is a producer, so he needs the TV to show clients their videos. He’s looking for Asian modern, feng shui, etc. He just happened to clip out some things from Elle Décor, wow! Nathan tells us his client Eddie had a disaster of an apartment that didn’t match his suit. He’s got a whole wall collection of shoes, lots of sneakers. They discuss covering the shoes, which are on shelves in the dining room. He wants conservative and classic. Preston appears to take over. Ondine and Teresa promise James some panties, and then they promise they’ll leave Eddie’s also. Hee. Obi leaves and says he trusts everyone. His team seems to be going “urban” and “Kanye West” according to Wisit. Teresa is frustrated that her teammates are leaving her out, but since I had to think hard to remember her name, it appears she hasn’t really been putting herself out there either. Eddie wants a “beautiful haven of good design” for his design for James. Preston suggests a bunch of things that are right up his alley, and Shaz asks why they shot her down when she suggested the same thing. Then she says it must be because they’re bitches, as she laughs. Preston won’t laugh and is like, don’t get like that so quick. Shaz is actually frustrated because she really wants to be heard. She and Preston argue about the TV. He doesn’t want her to shout over him because that’s rude, but I think she feels that she won’t be heard if she doesn’t shout. Poor Nathan already looks several years older and is not looking forward to shopping. (Kmanpat: “Aww, you can design my house!”)

Everyone goes to a furniture store with $3000 per team. Eddie’s team has actually named their concept “Panty dropping chic”. Ugh. He thinks a bigger TV means bigger boobs? Eh? Wisit feels pretty good, as they pick out stuff. Shaz is wandering around and apparently since her team has split up, they are double tagging things. She whines that if she and Preston both tag something, then it was Preston’s find. It’s possible he got there before you, you know. Sorry, I just got done watching “Project Runway” and after Kenley’s whining I have a low tolerance. Shaz complains to the boys that they ditched her, they didn’t show her all their stuff, whatever. Nathan calls her “Needy von McNeederson” and won’t give her any sympathy. Then they split up: some go to Cost Plus World Market, and The Container Store. Oh my gosh, I LOVE Cost Plus. We don’t see a lot of that shopping. But it looks like a lot of storage.

When they get back everyone has to meet with the painters/wallpaper people, and also the carpenters. None of the carpenters are Andrew Dan Jumbo, sadly. It goes well except that Shaz and Preston get into it over dowels vs. cornice boards. I think they’re just arguing because they don’t want to agree with each other, at this point. Anyways, Shaz wins this one.

In the morning they go to La Brea with $2000 to go into whatever stores they want and buy things. During the running around it looks like Ondine breaks a vase in one of the stores. She seems to be the one trying to fix it, it’s either her or Teresa and Eddie isn’t helpful because he’s just like, “A vase got broken”. Then he said it was ugly anyway. The store clerk tells him it’s $100 and Eddie starts bitching that it’s not worth that much and implying that the clerk is making it up. The clerk looks really familiar but I’m not sure why. He’s not impressed with Eddie. Since he’s not getting the reaction he wants Eddie busts out with his credentials, that he is a “professional” and he works for Martha and he’s “doing this for fun”. Really? So you won’t be mad if you get kicked off? The clerk turns out to be the owner of the showroom. Ha. Ondine smoothes things over.

Back at the apartments everyone gets to work a little before Todd shows up. He likes Nathan’s color palette. Eddie has some idea for changing shades of lamps, which Todd makes sure to mention is something people can do at home. Andrea is worried about the piano, and Todd feels that they shouldn’t put it in the dining room. Everyone goes to the “Top Design Showroom” and leaves their rooms a mess. When they all run in, Margaret and Jonathan stop them to make them do something extra! Ha!

Remember that first episode when they had a Pop Design challenge? And it looked like they’d be like Quickfires and they’d have them every episode? Apparently they’ll just have them whenever they feel like, because there’s one now. Jonathan is too excited about this. Everyone goes to the workroom which is full of cut flowers and vases. They each have to make a singular arrangement in 20 minutes, and the winner gets immunity. Cue the frantic running and spilling water on the floor and whatnot. Nathan is glad to show his design without others dragging him down. Everyone works and likes their design and whatever. At the last minute Preston strews flower petals on the table, but he realizes too late that they’re fake. Ha.

Wisit has a blue and white porcelain vase, and mums. Very simple. He has a lot of unused flowers, which he insists was an accident and not calculated to screw his competitors. It’s a nice arrangement, but it’s very much “my kid brought me flowers from the backyard.” Natalie has a big square vase and lots of bright colors. And it’s very tall. Ondine has a round “casual” arrangement but it’s cool looking. Eddie has lilacs and all purple flowers. Andrea has all white flo0wers and she doesn’t like how Margaret is looking at her stuff. Teresa has a flat wide design and it’s not that great. She can’t figure out where she’d put it. Shaz has these tall vases with tiny bowls, like wine cups, that only hold maybe a dozen blooms. She thinks she’d put these out of the way somewhere, like in the corner. Jonathan thinks they’re sweet, good sweet. Preston has a very tall silver vase with white roses and tulips. Margaret calls him on the fake flowers, and when he says he didn’t know they were fakes she says she knew they were fake the minute she walked in the room. Oops. Nathan has simple chic flowers. Jonathan likes this side of him. Hee. Back off, Jonathan, you’re married.

Jonathan didn’t like Natalie’s, it’s garish and too big. Preston’s fails on every level. Nathan’s arrangement is restrained and pretty, and Eddie’s flowers are beautiful but he could have wowed them more. Nathan wins! Yay! Shaz is pissed because she is convinced that he’ll get rid of her if their team is in the bottom.

Back at the apartments there is lots of work to do. Ondine is putting plates from an old biology book on the wall. You know, the kind with pictures of animals and whatnot. Wisit and his team bring in a giant shelving unit. Shaz complains about Preston who is apparently ignoring her, and then the cornices she fought so hard for aren’t done so they’ll have to rush to put paint on.

Lord. The guest judge is Jeff Lewis. He’s a bachelor because he’s OCD and freaky. Eddie, Ondine, and Natalie have black furniture, and square lamps, with some screens papered in the same biology book papers. The bedroom has a new headboard and a fake fireplace. There’s a bamboo rug too. The sofa was recovered, as was the chandelier which Jeff loves. The fireplace looks good. The entryway isn’t really “bachelor” but it’s cool. The bedroom looks different but this team says they all collaborated on everything.

Wisit, Teresa, and Andrea have a masculine space, with leather and dark colors. Most things are a shade of brown, dark brown shelves, lighter sofas, tan walls. Wisit says he channeled his “inner masculinity” and then he giggles. The TV is still prominent because Obi said he needed it for work. The bedroom has gray walls and one dark brown/red wall. Jonathan loves the styling on the bed.

Preston, Shaz, and Nathan have pained the walls gray and brown, with brown shelves. The wallpaper in the bedroom looks like wood. The judges ask about the valences, and Preston says they wanted to wrap them in fabric, so Margaret asks if the bedroom is more finished. Ouch. Nathan knows his design sucks. Good thing he’s immune. The bedroom has blues in it, and it’s very masculine and I like it. Then their client comes in and he absolutely loves it. All of it except for the stripes painted on the hallway walls. Obi and James like their apartments too. Well, James might get rid of the screens.

The judges get right into it and let everyone know that Andrea, Wisit, and Teresa are the winners. Obi loved it, and it was practical but also warm and rich and chic. Those three get to leave. Teresa admits that it was Andrea and Wisit’s win. Eddie, Ondine, and Natalie had great ideas, but their client didn’t like it. Oo! Jonathan points out that even though he may have said he liked everything they suggested, he’s a 23 year old “dude” and that apartment does not say 23 year old dude. Jeff says their client is too young to know what he wants. Margaret tells them that if she walked into a room and saw those screens, she wouldn’t think he was straight. Ondine says she did the biology paper treatment, and Jeff realizes he needs to work this on-screen time (apparently because he’s a famewhore) and asks her, “Now, this is called ‘Top Design‘, right, not ‘Over The Top Design?’” Shush. Thankfully India moves on. Nathan, Preston, and Shaz had no surprises and it wasn’t pretty. Preston thinks they had time-consuming designs, and he (of course) blames Shaz because the valences took up too much time. Margaret asks who the leader was, and both Nathan and Shaz go, not me! So Preston has to step up. Shaz also gets on her soapbox to complain about how the boys wouldn’t listen to her at all unless she pitched a fit. Nathan says that wasn’t the case, but Shaz keeps at it. Preston agrees with Nathan that she had tantrums and says she called him an a**hole. Which she did, because she asked him for something and he ignored her. Shaz reveals that she was told to talk to the carpenters because that wasn’t “labor intensive”. Oo, not a good choice kids. Jeff gets very condescending again and says that her calling Preston an a**hole is just as bad. Why is he even here? Not that I think Shaz is right, or whatever, but he bugs me. Shaz says if they want to get rid of someone for not showing what they can do, then that’s her, but if they hate the design, that’s Preston.

Ondine’s paper choices and the screens were a poor choice for the client. The bedroom was fierce though. Margaret thinks Eddie did more of the bedroom. Jeff hates the biology paper so much he would send Ondine home if that is the losing apartment. But you know that’ll be the other one. Backstage Shaz is still arguing. Jonathan agrees that Shaz is the one responsible for the valences and then Jeff brings up the a**hole comment, like, we get it. That’s offensive to you. Probably because you’ve been called a**hole too many times. Shaz didn’t appreciate being made to look like a huge bitch, I guess she didn’t think Preston should have brought up that comment. Strangely Preston says he won’t take responsibility for it. I suppose because she really did say that. Jeff likes that Preston took responsibility for the design. I think Jeff just sees another asshat in Preston so he’s going to be on his side forever.

Eddie, Ondine, and Natalie misread their client but had some great ideas. Nathan, Preston, and Shaz had good ideas in places, but it was incomplete. Nathan is safe, so it’s between Preston and Shaz. Preston took responsibility for the design, which wasn’t cohesive. Shaz made the challenge about herself, and her contributions only hurt the team. Shaz is out. She’s sad about leaving, but mostly because she could learn from it. She says in her culture being a designer isn’t really something that’s done. She apologizes to Preston but I don’t know what he said in response. Also she thinks that she’s opened up other career choices for the next generation.

Next week: triathlon? Lots of chairs. Running around. Nathan in trouble? No!
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