"The Joe Schmo Show" 2025 -- episode 10 "The Greatest of All Time"

 

Previously on “Joe Schmo”: We finally got down to the final two people. Ben, who doesn't know this show is faker than usual, and Maya, his supposed “ride or die” BFF. Maya managed to win the challenge, even though she forgot one of the answers she was given, and then she had to make a choice. Get rid of Jessica, who is a third wheel and also straight up didn't do like, half the challenges? Or get rid of Ben, who is far more deserving but also might beat her in the final jury vote? The jury told Maya that if it was her vs. Jessica, she would win with all of the votes. Ben even told her no hard feelings, so of course she got rid of Jessica. (click for more)

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"The Joe Schmo Show" 2025 -- episode 9 "The Triumvirate"

 

Previously on “Joe Schmo”: Ben returned to the competition, and the producers decided we could finally hear from Danielle. This whole time, Danielle has been a weird crunchy granola person who talks about gut health and how you're just a tube and all natural remedies. We've seen none of it and frankly the show would have been better with more nonsense from Danielle and fewer interviews with the producers about how everything has to go perfectly or the show is ruined. Anyway, Jessica “ruined” her hair with one of Danielle's all natural oils or something, and then we are led to believe that this would prompt Jessica to put forth effort and win a challenge so she could get rid of Danielle. Briefly Maya was up for elimination and frankly that would have been the smarter choice but this is the storyline, I guess. (click for more)

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"The Joe Schmo Show" 2025 -- episode 8 "A Hairy Predicament"

 

Previously on “Joe Schmo”: the producers decided that eliminating Ben and having him come back via “Redemption Island”/”Last Chance Kitchen” rules would be a good move. And it was, in general, except for the part where it sounded like this was one plot point they had from the start. They rewrote a lot of the show, but this part was always in there. And then they acted like they had to scramble last minute to build “Losers' Loft” and bring back all the actors and get them back into character, when they knew this was coming. Also last week I said Barbara wasn't there (the woman who was eliminated immediately after the first challenge) and that if it was me, I'd be suspicious. Then I just now realized, Jonathan Lipnicki wasn't there either and no one said anything. Anyway, of course Ben returned, and then Braxton and Chastity were eliminated so that Ben could be in the Final Four with Maya, Danielle, and Jessica. (click for more)

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"The Joe Schmo Show" 2025 -- episode 7 "One Flew Over the Losers' Loft"

 

Previously on “Joe Schmo”: Ben had a meeting with the supposed creator of this supposed show, Mr. Danish. Mr. Danish was of course weird and cryptic, so Ben immediately assumed this was on purpose to mess with him. Then there was a puzzle challenge, which Braxton won. Chastity got a “makeover” which was basically some makeup and she and Braxton got very close. Ben finally figured out she'd just replaced Trevor with Braxton in her power couple, which was not good for him. The elimination came down to Ben and Chastity, and of course then Ben was eliminated. On the way out, Mr. Danish showed up again and said that it wasn't over yet. Or something else cryptic I guess.(click for more)

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"The Joe Schmo Show" 2025 -- episode 6 "The Enigma of Testacles"

 

Previously on “Joe Schmo”: the writers decided we needed a challenge that Ben would win. “But wait!” you say. “Didn't they do that last week?” They did. But he bombed that so they tried again, but this time with a physical challenge. Ben finally won, and then they knew he'd get Trevor and Chastity to be nominated, so they got Trevor to be as much of a dick as possible. I was skeptical that this would work, because Ben has shown he votes strategically and not just for people who bother him. But it did and Trevor was sent home. (click for more)

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"The Joe Schmo Show" 2025 -- episode 5 "The Ascent of Nicodemus"

 

Previously on “Joe Schmo”: the writers decided we needed a challenge that Ben would win. But they chose a challenge based on riddles, then acted shocked when Ben was bad at mental challenges. As if they didn't know he was more confident in physical challenges. Come on. Anyway, the plan was for Ben to win, but he choked big time. They had to scramble and have Maya win, so Ben knew he was safe. Then Jessica “betrayed” him, played a token, and put Braxton up for elimination. Ryan ended up going home, not either of the siblings, which upset Ben because of betrayals or whatever. (click for more)

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"The Joe Schmo Show" 2025 -- episode 4 "Think Inside the Box"

 

Previously on “Joe Schmo”: There is at least one storyline that has been scrapped, because the writers told the rest of the cast that the only thing they are doing today is “the woodchipper bit”. This is a bit where Charles Michael snaps and throws Ryan's stuff in the woodchipper as part of their “prank war”. So they concocted a whole fake challenge and got Ben to go inside so he can't see the start of the thing and then he came out to the woodchipper running and Charles Michael throwing stuff in there. Everyone just stared at Ben instead of reacting. Ben, meanwhile, brought up the excellent point of how exactly this happened, how did Charles Michael have time to go get Ryan's stuff and destroy it without anyone stopping him, why isn't anyone stopping him now? Everyone just stood there and then scrambled with a garbage story that a rouge producer (who has since been fired) put the luggage next to the woodchipper. Anyway, Maya was given an Advantage Token so when Ben and Charles Michael were up for elimination, she could save Ben. Then Trevor was put in his place, Chastity ended up making the decision, and Charles Michael was eliminated. (click for more)

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"The Joe Schmo Show" 2025 -- episode 3 "It's All a Prank on Me"

 

Previously on “Joe Schmo”: Now that Ben has supposedly bought into this deception, the producers needed a way to isolate him from everyone. Really, an excuse for him to be alone so they could have meetings. So Ben was made the “Goatkeeper” because of course there is a real live goat. The challenge was to run out onto a narrow walkway over the pool, and then get a bell and then bow down to the goat. Your bows were recorded by you smashing your forehead into a platform and then smashing the back of your head into another platform. This was fixed so Braxton would win, but supposedly no one expected Ben to try really hard. They also were blindsided when Ben told his alliance not to vote for Ryan, who was annoying and threw the challenge so poorly everyone knew he did it on purpose. He told them to vote for Chastity and Taylor, to break up that alliance. We were told the writers had to rewrite everything to account for this, since if Ryan was nominated, Ben would know someone turned on him. So their solution was to have Agnes be eliminated, a person in his alliance, which resulted in the same thing: Ben is looking for traitors. Why couldn't they just let Ryan go home if the result (Ben being paranoid) is the same? Who knows. (click for more)

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"The Joe Schmo Show" 2025 -- episode 2 "The Golden Goat"

 

Previously on “Joe Schmo”: we rebooted the franchise, but somehow it just wasn't the same. Did they not go far enough? Can you bring back a fake reality show after nearly 25 years of “real” reality shows? Are my standards too high? Ben is just a blue collar guy from Baltimore who hunts and fishes and is single. He's on “The Goat USA”, a “spin-off” of a supposedly Korean game show that everyone pretends they have heard of. It's got just enough “Squid Game” for you to notice but not enough to sue. The elimination ceremony is called “The Sacrifice” but I feel it is not dumb enough for my satisfaction. Jonathan Lipnicki (yes that one) is playing a douchebag child star and is the first one voted out. Don't forget Barbara, though, who randomly hit a button and was the actual first person out. Which promptly caused Ben to declare her “100%” an actor. (click for more)

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"The Joe Schmo Show" 2025 -- episode 1

So “Joe Schmo” is back on television. The articles about this premiere made it sound like this is a new idea, as if this isn't the fourth season of this show. But I guess part of how the show works is you need to wait between seasons so everyone forgets this show is a thing, or else people are too suspicious. (click for more)

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"Joe Schmo 2"--episode 9

Previously on “The Joe Schmo Show”: Tim was eliminated, but saved at the last minute by Derek and a “rules violation”. The rules violation turned out to be Bryce killing Montecore the falcon. Supposedly he snuck out of the house and did it in retaliation for his frog. Security cameras and everything. Bryce reacted in a crazy manner of course. So once Tim was back, then we had a silly game and TJ's fake bout of diarrhea. Then we discovered TJ stole Gerald's aquasocks, which was news to viewers because they had NEVER MENTIONED it. I mean if you want us to care that Gerald hasn't showered in four days, maybe mention that fact. So to make amends TJ offered to let Gerald pick a competition, and Gerald picked a danceoff. Loser quits the show. Gerald won, but when the elimination ceremony came around, TJ refused to quit and Derek refused to make him quit, so Gerald was eliminated. Also Cammy. Just before the episode ended, Derek announced that Piper and Austin have been deciding if they want to get back together with each other. (click for more)

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"Joe Schmo 2"--episode 8

Previously on “The Joe Schmo Show”: Bryce returned to the show, because the deal is Piper thinks he's sweet. Everyone has to “profess their love” for alone time, and TJ and Cammy win. However for more entertainment, TJ and Cammy had to wear earpieces and do whatever the other contestants told them, which was pretty entertaining. No one cared if Cammy had to do dumb things but Tim was very protective of TJ's alone time. Afterwards, they told Bryce about how his frog died and that went over as well as you would think. In that he and TJ almost fought. Then went up to their room to “cool off” and were almost caught by Tim out of character. During the elimination ceremony, Derek revealed that Austin would be deciding which man would be eliminated. To everyone's anger and annoyance he decided on Tim. (click for more)

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"Joe Schmo 2"--episode 7

Previously on “The Joe Schmo Show”: Ingrid was allowed to return to the show, since Austin is an idiot and was speaking to the wrong grandfather. Derek revealed that Piper and Austin were a couple once. They dated for four years and broke up six months ago. Tim and Amanda won alone time by hitting on RealDolls (don't ask) and when Eleanor was upset about this, because she's not had any alone time yet, Austin tried to comfort her by bringing out the coupon book she gave him. Except for the part where he used one of the coupons with Cammy. Dumbass. On Tim and Amanda's alone time, Austin and Piper fought and then were talked into staying on the show. Everett the frog died, probably killed by the falcon. Tim was annoyed that everyone was so upset about it. At the Pearl Necklace Elimination ceremony, Eleanor realized Austin is a douche and told him to shove his locket up his ass and she quit. (click for more)

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"Joe Schmo 2"--episode 6

Previously on “The Joe Schmo Show”: the producers decided Ingrid should pull a Jonny Fairplay and announced her grandfather had died, then used this to take Eleanor's alone time away from her. Which was sad. Bryce got an airplane to run a banner over the mansion asking for forgiveness, which Tim felt was super creepy but Piper felt bad for eliminating Bryce. There was a set of really dumb games vs. the models, where basically everything was sexual and the models “won” trips to Mexico. Austin's parents arrived, played by the same actors that played Piper's parents, only this time Mom was strict and somber and Dad was a party person. They also had the same challenge as the men, which was to do ridiculous sexual tasks or have “secrets” revealed. Everyone did it, except Cammy, so we could watch the horrible low-budget piece of shit that is “Porked and Beans”. Because you can't mention a fetish porn video without actually having a video. Then Ingrid was sent home because Austin called her house and her grandfather answered. Amanda told Austin her mom's dad lives with them, and it was her dad's dad who died. Oops. (click for more)

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"Joe Schmo 2"--episode 5

Previously on “The Joe Schmo Show”: Since Ingrid was too suspicious for this show and figured out it was all fake, the producers let her in on the secret and offered her the chance to join the cast. If she can make it to the end she can win $100,000. So she accepted and they brought in Amanda so they could go back to having one girl and one guy schmo. After that, there were sausages, a cameo from Matt Kennedy Gould, and Piper's parents. The men had a weird contest to do inappropriate things or “secrets” would be revealed. In the end Piper's parents gave Gerald immunity and Bryce was kicked out. Not before he was creepy one last time though. (click for more)

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"Joe Schmo 2"--episode 4

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"Joe Schmo 2"--episode 3

Previously on “The Joe Schmo Show”: the solution to Ingrid being suspicious was to have the “bitch” of the house take her aside and tell her to quit ruining it for everyone else. Not a terrible strategy, as it seems to work. Austin flirted with Cammy a lot, giving Eleanor a chance to live up to her nickname of “The Weeper”. She got very upset with Austin but he still picked Cammy for grape stomping because Austin is actually not so great. Tim continued to hate Bryce. Ernie took off his shirt, and since he's a big guy Piper was disgusted and sent him home first. (click for more)

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"Joe Schmo 2"--episode 2

Previously on “The Joe Schmo Show”: we met our schmos, Ingrid and Tim, who are supposedly trying to look for love on a dating show. The first eliminations were all minority people, because dating shows are full of white people. Later there were gifts, drinking, stripping, and a hot tub date. Ingrid and Tim are cool people but not the overwhelmingly awesome person Matt was last season. I don't care because they're still great. The “Pearl Necklace” eviction ceremony sent Rita the drunk home. However, during the ceremony the women were all asked to plead their case to Austin. Everyone had rehearsed speeches, of course, except Ingrid. And she noticed. (click for more)

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"Joe Schmo 2"--episode 1

Previously on “The Joe Schmo Show”: the first season of the show was an interesting experiment. Matt was a great schmo, because he was an all-around great guy and everyone really liked him. He stood up for people and was nice to everyone. He also really deserved his prizes. (click for more)

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"The Joe Schmo Show"--episode 8

Previously on “The Joe Schmo Show”: Ralph surprised everyone with a sudden death elimination. Both Hutch and Ashleigh told Matt he should vote for Brian, but in the end, everyone voted for Ashleigh. Then Ralph revealed that the eliminated contestants would be returning to decide who wins the game. Matt briefly freaked everyone out by saying he had been wondering if the network exec was real or an actor. We had jury questioning, and Matt was his usual nice upstanding self, saying he had a great time and he's won already. Then each jury member read their own vote and explained themselves. So far there are two votes Hutch, two votes Matt, and one vote Brian. Dr. Pat told everyone she was voting for the realest person, and then the episode ended. (click for more)

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