Previously on “Project Runway”: We're apparently going to continue the nonsense of cliffhangers and waiting for the next week for eliminations. However, I've seen previews, and a shot from Good Morning America, with at least one spoiler. This is in addition to Heidi going out in a winning outfit and telling everyone whose it was. So even though we are going to have cliffhanger endings, we're also not putting forth any kind of effort to avoid actual spoilers. Anyway, Alex was eliminated, and then Ethan and Jesus picked their own teams because we don't have leadership or whatever. They had to make exciting clothes out of “boring” fabric, which is dumb because one fabric was denim and one was a lovely sage wool. Ethan wanted “showstoppers” so his whole team had completely ridiculous clothes and everyone hated them. Belania won because she was picked last. You know that's why. Ethan, Angelo, and Joan were the bottom three, with Joan having a slight edge. (click for more)
Ethan is questioning his leadership, but he says his point of view is important. I mean basically everyone says the same thing. Heidi tells Joan she's safe, which they were saying last week. Angelo is told his construction is bad but his confidence is worse, which doesn't make sense but it's not like the judging on this show always makes sense. Ethan failed as a leader. Angelo is out, which I knew because one of the spoilers had Ethan in it. But he was on the bottom twice and also is boring, I guess. Heidi tells Ethan that if it was up to her, he'd be the one going home. He's freaking out because somewhere along the way, he decided to dress in drag for the runway show, and then everyone called him “Utica” and Law said Utica should have stayed home, and now it's like a criticism of Utica. Listen, there are plenty of people who have made great fashion careers out of dressing drag queens. Several who came from this show. So being too “drag” is not the end of the world. Angelo knows it wasn't his best work but he doesn't think he should have gone home. He's going back to menswear, which is probably a good idea.
Christian announces that “the houses are no more”. Does that mean no more teams? Or new teams? Jesus is very glad because now he doesn't have to deal with helping people, “like dealing with Veejay, cause, girl, she's a bitch.” Calm down. She doesn't like you, it's not a crime. Christian confirms it's a solo challenge thank God. Then Law walks in and everyone pretends to be excited. Apparently Law is taking them on a field trip. Not Christian? Weak.
I must point out Law is wearing a gray double-breasted suit with no shirt and kitten heeled boots, and he has thrown a hip-length light brown fur coat with some sequins over it to go outside. They arrive at a school (at night, no traumatizing children) and there is the fakest science fair set up. Like the banner just says “SCIENCE FAIR” with two atoms, and the experiments are like, “magnets”, and “germs”, or whatever. Also waiting for them are Chris Perfetti and Lisa Ann Walter from “Abbott Elementary”, which I think is the only scripted TV show I still watch. An excellent show. Anyway, Lisa says they're a big deal, and also this is the unconventional materials challenge, which is to use all these garbage science fair projects to make clothes. It was the first challenge, and you know it's coming, and I do look forward to it. Ethan reminds us that the whole reason we (especially me) are excited for him to be on this show is because of his unconventional materials challenge on Drag Race, which was the sleeping bag gown. Should have won, but that show is even worse at producer interference than this one, if such a thing is possible. The science fair projects, there's a big “craft” table with like, pencils and stuff, and sports equipment. One day challenge. Law says do not hot glue shit to fabric. Spoiler: people are gonna hot glue shit to fabric.
20 minutes to get stuff. It's chaos as always. Joseph McRae claims all his stuff is “unconventional” but upholstery fabric doesn't count. Madeline doesn't like to be rushed and she looks like she might cry at any moment. So she's probably going to be that one who hates this whole concept. Veejay takes some volleyballs, so Jesus can get pissed. It's not the unconventional materials challenge unless someone just makes a pile and abandons it and someone else takes their stuff. Hilariously Lisa is like “A fight! Fight! Fight!” Jesus thinks Veejay did it on purpose, because him wheeling the whole rack of volleyballs to the middle of the gym is “clearly” his bag. At the very end Ethan takes the megaphone out of Lisa's hands.
Veejay thinks she can tell the twins not to help each other out anymore, which is clearly not going to happen. They don't lean on each other as much as the last set of twins, so at least that's something. I mean let them waste time doing that honestly. Jesus tells her to stop trying to make drama, which is completely ridiculous from someone who called her a bitch out of nowhere.
To be fair Jesus is cutting up the volleyballs he got to make a bandage dress, which is not the worst idea. Is it exciting? No, but this challenge is likely to have some disasters, so an outfit that covers everything it needs to and doesn't fall apart on the runway is usually enough to be safe. Antonio has a bunch of balloons. They discuss their plans so Veejay can give them dirty looks and complain in confessional about how it's not fair they're working together. I personally think working with others during an individual challenge is not an advantage, unless it's all one sided. So if Jesus was carrying Antonio, plus making his own garment, then Antonio has an unfair advantage, but Jesus just screws himself. And then even in that case, it's Jesus's problem for giving himself more work.
Yuchen is making a soccer ball dress and I feel like that dress has literally been made already. Like, a previous season of this show had a soccer ball dress. I'm not looking it up. Yuchen tells Ethan that his whole life has been fashion, and that he was abused for it as a child. He's very shy, but when he got to high school he was inspired by Lady Gaga, and then got into music, and now he feels his history has shaped him as a designer. I do like how Ethan seems to have taken Yuchen under his wing. Ethan also interviews that the twins are annoying, but at this point it's going to take a lot of work to separate them. Jesus thinks they don't have an advantage because he thinks they've been bouncing ideas and brainstorming with every other designer in the competition. That's demonstrably untrue but go off I guess. Yuchen has pinned the soccer ball leather so that there are two mostly intact halves of balls on the skirt, one over each buttcheek. He feels this is cute.
Christian appears with a yardstick for some reason. Veejay is making something out of shuttlecocks, by cutting them in two pieces and using the cone part like lace. Christian loves it. He asks her how her childhood was, and she gets emotional but then immediately says it's because her childhood was actually really good. As a gay trans person she felt loved and supported. I think Veejay feels really lucky. Ethan has some butterflies and a bunch of strips, which Christian thinks is too close to what he did last week. The butterflies are currently two bra cups and a thick collar, but it looks amazing. The whole thing needs to be that level. Go into your archives and do something draggy, no one else has made the cool shit you've made. That's fair and I like the encouragement. I also like that Christian fully knows the cool shit Ethan has made before. Christian waves the yardstick around (refusing to spank Ethan) and then yells “Joan is that glitter paper and Popsicle sticks I swear to God” Heh. It's gonna be a Josephine Baker thing. It could work but Christian wants them to be cut diagonally or something more interesting. So she's going to spray paint them black so it looks leather. Joan was cheerleader captain. That fits somehow. Belania is cutting up gym mats to make a raincoat, and Christian says that a vinyl raincoat already exists and is therefore too boring. Time for a romper. Antonio somehow has a coat made to of that triangular flag pennant bunting. But the dress underneath is like, clear plastic, which is maybe not a great idea. Madeline admits she's struggling. Christian points out her vibe is like a 60's mod situation, so maybe go in that direction. Joseph McRae has the “science fair” banner, and I think he's trying to cut it so that you can still read the letters. He claims he's going to merge his “technical background” with his fashion, but electrical engineering is not going to be a lot of help here I don't think. Well...I guess electrical wire for lacing is sort of something. No one else is impressed but Joseph McRae does say that they will immediately know it's his look, which is at least true.
Time for model fitting, with two hours left to work. The soccer ball dress is very small. Like it fits her but she's flashing people. Ethan has mostly fabric, and he claims that it has to fit before it's “pretty”. Antonio is behind, and he asks if Christian is applying to be his intern. “You can't afford me.” Madeline is fitting muslin, which is not done, but she's going the “make a muslin dress and hope I can cover it in shit”. Joseph McRae is discovering the vinyl banner is stiff, which he could have figured out at any point in the last six hours or whatever. Joan doss some cheers which is hilarious.
Runway Day. Three hours to work. I'm not sure what fabric Ethan found, because it's dark gray and not the muslin color, but it's gotta be covered in butterflies. We didn't see anything about Jesus's volleyball dress, but that's because he seems to have cut the rectangular panels apart to make big colorblocks of chevrons, as opposed to Yuchen's cutting the ball in half and hoping it covers everything. Joan tries to punch holes in the Popsicle sticks but they tend to splinter. For some reason Antonio has made a thong out of one of his flags.
Christian appears to tell them “one small thing”: the runway show is taking place in the workroom. Why. They freak out about the lighting as if the lighting on the runway isn't hot garbage. Wait, the workroom has actually useful lighting. So are we freaking out that the judges are going to see all the flaws? That's actually not bad, I can get behind that. They've never done the runway in the workroom. Christian is worried about Antonio, but Antonio is like “Did you see everyone else's bullshit? I'm not worried”. Madeline is pissed the twins are helping each other. Jesus also points out that in addition to the lighting being better in the workroom, the judges will be closer to the clothes. That wouldn't matter if they would go back to letting the judges inspect the looks up close during judging, but if they listened to me we wouldn't be here right now so this will have to do.
Christian says “Let's bring out our judge for this challenge. Yes judge”. One judge? Antonio says “Please don't let it be Law” so of course it's Law. I like Law, I know there a bunch of people who think he's too mean, but whatever. But we all know this is not because he knows fashion or is a good judge of clothing, but because he's going to make someone cry and fight with someone else and it will be as much drama as possible.
Yuchen: it's a bra and a very tiny skirt made out of soccer balls. There is barely enough to cover everything, and honestly I'm kind of shocked they didn't blur her crotch. I think he tried to leave the balls as intact as possible, cutting them in half and then using those big round pieces. There are pieces on some tall boots, and a skull cap with like, one hexagon cut out like an eyepiece. Random hexagons are colored yellow and purple and red for whatever reason. It might be pieces of a periodic table because there are random numbers on some of the hexagons and some molecule models on her head. Veejay: there is some white plastic boning, not sure where it's from, but it's thin plastic rods that make a grid dress with wide hips. Kind of like how I imagine a hoop skirt looks. Over this are the bottoms of shuttlecocks, the netting part that makes a cone. She cut them from the weighted part, and then attached them to the boning like fans. They don't make a solid dress but she's more covered up than Yuchen, and it is hard to tell what this used to be. She's also covered the shoes.
Madeline: a crop top and short skirt, in muslin covered in cut up silver stars, those big cardboard shiny stars. To be fair I can't see the muslin, and she cut up the stars so it's just silver triangles. It looks better than I thought it would, although it's not amazing. There's a high slit in the skirt and in the back, the two pieces almost meet. To be fair, the triangles are carefully placed to make a pattern. It doesn't look like she ran out of time and just started slapping stuff on there. Joseph McRae: a fairly short circle skirt and a crop top, made out of a white banner with blue lettering. Now that it's not a coat, you can't tell what the letters are. The top is very stiff, a rectangle with wide shoulders that ends just under her boobs. There is also a big rectangular piece on the front that comes up almost to her nose. The top looks flat, like the sides are sewn together from the side of her neck all the way down to the hem. There's also a tote bag for no reason. When she turns around, you can see small buttons or snaps up the back of the skirt, and then the back of the top is laced with electrical wire. But it's so loose and there is so much wire it looks messy.
Belania: shorts, a bra, a sleeveless vest, and a hat. Everything but the bra is made of the same blue/green/purple print, and the bra is just green. Somehow this is all cellophane wrap, so I guess she made this pattern on her own. It looks like actual clothing. Cute. When the model turns around, the shorts are maybe too loose. It looks like they stick out from her butt. But from the front it looks fine. Jesus: short strapless sheath dress made of volleyballs. So you know how volleyballs have rectangular panels, each of those is cut out and the dress is an inverted chevron pattern, with overlapping rectangles, sewn into one dress. It's black at her torso, then a block of red, then white, with black on the sides and slightly larger stripes over her boobs. On top of all of this is a black vest with a million black zip ties around the armholes like fringe. Her hair is buns down the middle of her head like a mohawk, with more zip ties. Honestly he's annoying but this look is amazing and it fits her like a glove. I don't know why there is a white circle on her back but whatever.
Joan: black strapless bodice and short skirt, in black. I think the skirt is also black? The skirt is corrugated cardboard, cut in wavy strips like a bulletin board border. I think it's black, but because it's not the same material as the top it looks like a different color. The top is Popsicle sticks, in two vertical bands, and then slightly tilted squares over her boobs. It is hard to tell it's wood, but it also looks like if this model might flash a nipple at any moment. The back has lacing, but cleaner than Joseph McRae's. Ethan: short dress, sleeveless with a halter top and a thick collar. The whole thing is covered in butterflies and zip ties, and I don't see the fabric underneath. There's a little keyhole at her chest and the skirt is asymmetric. From far away, the butterflies are so crammed on there they just are colors and maybe flowers, but you can't see individual shapes. I think there are also colored straws, sewn or glued into starburst circles, and then glued on. When she gets closer to the camera, you can see the fabric underneath, but because it's not beige muslin it's not as obvious. There is a headdress of a fan of zip ties, like a halo, with some butterflies in it.
Antonio: so the dress is clear vinyl circles. I think he's layered them so she's not flashing everyone, but it is extremely short. Then over this are pink triangles, filled with stuffing and sewn together at the corners. So a floor-length piece of hot pink triangles and lots of skin and empty space, blank triangles between the fabric. It might be a coat? There might be sleeves? It's so hard to tell. Under the clear vinyl is a G-string and a bra made of two more pink triangles. I think there's some kind of grid structure, but I don't think it's needed to attach vinyl too and it clearly isn't boning so it just kind of looks weird. Her whole ass is out but the “coat” is over it so it's not just hanging out everywhere. Law says it's a blind runway and he's stressed.
So we're just going to call out Law's favorite look, and then he'll find out who made it. It's Yuchen. Are you fucking serious. He cut a soccer ball at the seams and then slapped it on. At least Jesus did work. Law is surprised and says this is high camp and creative. Is it camp? I guess. But I mean, he says his favorite part is the underboob. Come on. So he wins. This is bullshit. I like Yuchen but this looks should not have won. Is this just because Yuchen said Lady Gaga helped him survive childhood and then Law could say this looked like something she would wear? Garbage. Anyway, Ethan made some beautiful high drag, and Veejay's was incredible. Both of those should have won before Yuchen.
The bottom three get called out one at a time. Joseph McRae has too many things going on, I guess because there's shape and the lettering and then I think he glued shit onto the letters, like paper clips or whatever, and then the lacing in the back. Not fab and he signed his look and that is too cocky. Joan made a sad dress and the earrings are gold and the shoes are transparent and those two don't go. He also hates that it's painted black because it looks like “dead vegetation”. Yeah but she couldn't have left it plain wood either. Antonio is also in the bottom. Law said he didn't know Joan made her look, or that this is Antonio's' look, and Antonio says he thought he was going to be the winner. Law is like “you what now” because the styling is terrible. Somehow this dress of a G-string bikini and clear circles is fine, but the knee high denim boots that look like the bottom of a pair of jeans are terrible. That's fair. There's also a denim bag. Law implies it's a disservice if he didn't tell Antonio his styling is hot garbage, it's all for the greater good or whatever, and Jesus pipes up “I like it” which is meaningless. Of course you like it. Law says Jesus is making it worse for Antonio, and I don't know if he's torpedoing Antonio's chances but if you all already think Law is unfair, and you can also see he's the only judge today, maybe keep your mouth shut and avoid pissing him off? It's ugly and takes away from the look. Jesus interviews that he doesn't care because he's proud of his brother and he's finding himself as a designer. Yeah but this is ugly. We pretend this clear dress and puffy pink triangle coat would be acceptable at the Grammys. No.
Christian says fashion is full of difficult decisions. The decision of who will be out will be made by the designers. Uuugggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Why. This is just going to end up people voting for people they don't like and want to get rid of, and Jesus trying to bully people into not getting rid of his brother. Joseph McRae, Joan, and Antonio do not get to vote. Do we think anyone is going to base this on actual design? Come on. Well at least the bottom three are headed to the sewing room so they don't have to listen to the debate. Jesus says “The last thing I wanna do is to be a part of crushing someone's dreams” which is fucking bullshit. You call Veejay a bitch any time you talk about her. You would “crush her dreams” in a heartbeat. You're just mad because she beat you this week. He does also call this “fucking bullshit” which at least we can agree on.
In the Scrap Bin everyone freaks out to varying degrees. Belania and Madeline are straight up sobbing and I buy that those two don't want to send anyone home. Like ever. Jesus tries to claim he truly believes Antonio shouldn't go home, when I feel like he could say “well of course I'm not voting for Antonio” and leave it at that. Ethan says he liked Joseph McRae's look and he loves his aesthetic. Jesus starts arguing about circle skirts, and this is why this is bullshit. Now I gotta listen to another five minutes of campaigning because Jesus has to act like his brother's design is better than someone else's. We all know he's not voting for Antonio, I don't expect him to, but really he should just let everyone else argue. You can't complain that all Joseph McRae does is make oversized stuff because that's his aesthetic. That's what he does. Trying to convince Ethan it's tired isn't going to work because Ethan just said he loves what Joseph McRae does.
Joan has done a great job in previous challenges, and Veejay argues she transformed the materials this time, as opposed to Joseph McRae. That's fair. Veejay is insulted by a circle skirt because it's not enough effort. I kind of like this argument better than “I'm tired of circle skirts”. But then Veejay gets emotional and says “they” are giving the designers a platform to show their work and “they” are putting in effort, and the designers owe it to “them” to make amazing looks and put in effort. I'm not sure who the “they” is, unless it's the producers, which is whatever. She keeps saying “a circle skirt in a square” and I'm not sure what that means, but this is related to the “reality show quitters are the scum of the earth because hundreds of people wanted to be cast and have this opportunity and you're wasting it” argument. Madeline disagrees that a circle skirt is an insult, and Veejay says she's “not taking it against him, [she's] taking on what [she] saw.” I'm not sure what she's trying to say here. Maybe “nothing personal but that design is lazy and whoever made it should go home”? Jesus tries to get Madeline to agree Veejay has a point, which is how you know he's full of shit because he hates Veejay. He's only agreeing because agreeing with Veejay saves Antonio. Madeline doesn't agree that something simple is automatically lazy and insulting. I hate when the designers get judgy because it's always extremely condescending and they forget three days ago they themselves sent some hot garbage down the runway. Ethan doesn't like Joan's. I hate watching Veejay say things and Jesus agree like he doesn't hate her. Veejay I guess gives up and says to do what you think is right, but Joan did a better job with the materials than Joseph McRae. I guess no one is going to do the smart thing and get rid of Antonio to fuck with Jesus. Madeline is full on ugly crying. She says she's not voting for Joseph McRae, and Jesus is like “WOW' but there are six of you. Just have a vote already and see what happens. Then it says “TO BE CONTINUED” as if you haven't done this THE WHOLE SEASON.
Next week: who the fuck knows? No preview. Honestly if they walk in and say “Surprise! No eliminations!” there's gonna be a riot.
No comments:
Post a Comment