TAR 28 Recap Leg 3, 2-26-16

Welcome to Leg 3! Last time, on Our Taxi Driver Is So Slow, We Might Save Time To Leave Him a Mile Away From the Detour and Run, 11 teams continued racing from Mexico to Colombia. It was a comedy of errors as Darius and Cameron, who somehow can’t book tickets in an airport and believe all clues must be in clueboxes, and Marty and Hagan, who manage to pick the slow cab driver and leave their car parked as far away from the Detour as possible, battled it out for last place. In other crazy news, Tyler and Korey manage to get first place, and even though Scott and Blair had a Speed Bump, it was Marty and Hagan who were finally the first team eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Top Chef 2/25/16--"Wok This Way" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: everyone had to make up rap names, which was terrible and best forgotten. Then the Elimination challenge asked everyone to pick a historical time period and make a dish that would be from that time and place. I really liked this challenge. It's creative and is not just “cook something good”. Amar got Paris and Belle Epoque, which means he got fancy French fine dining. He made a great dish that reminded everyone of culinary school and fine dining and he finally won a challenge. Karen pouted that she couldn't pick China (no, she actually made a passive-aggressive comment about it out loud) so she took Japan. Then she decided to make a Chinese dish anyway so she was eliminated. (click for more)

Project Runway All Stars 2/25/16--"A Little Bit Country, A Little Bit Rock N Roll" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: the challenge was to make a garment that would be put in front of a wind machine. So supposedly the designers were going to think about movement and flow. In reality the movement only looked cool when shown in slow motion from the side. Otherwise the wind was very strong. Also in practice almost everyone made capes. Mitchell is still obsessed about Sam saying shit on his blog, which is a year old and maybe get over it? Although maybe Sam could offer some vague apology that everyone knows is fake but is technically the right thing to do? Anyway, Sam is the winner, for an actually decent dress. Fade is out, which is dumb because although his dress wasn't great, it came down to Emily and Fade, two low-drama people. As opposed to Mitchell's fugly dress with streamers in the skirt and drama with Sam. (click for more)

TAR 28 Recap Leg 2, 2-19-16

Welcome to Leg 2! Last time, on Look At Me, Ma, I’m on Television and Not Just YouTube!, 11 teams started Amazing Race 28. They raced from different airports to Mexico City, where there was mariachi and fireworks. The Roadblock caused a major shift in order, allowing the dancers Dana and Matt to come in first, and Scott and Blair to be last. But, this is the first of three non-elimination legs, and they are still in the Race! Blair then laments bringing a curling iron and a hair dryer with her and making her dad carry them. (Toyouke: “Yes, Phil, your reaction to this dumb girl's hair dryer is the correct one. “) Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Top Chef 2/18/16--"Hammer Time" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: the second part of Restaurant Wars allowed people to learn from their mistakes. They sort of did? But while the two teams were mostly even after lunch service, Palate did a much better job at dinner, with much better food. Isaac won, which was nice after the girls complained so much about his not being elegant enough. Phillip seriously failed at FOH, and the service was crap, and his dumb salad was dumb. While Kwame and Amar did well enough at lunch to save themselves, Phillip and Jeremy did not. But Jeremy's poor executive chef timing at lunch and his terrible risotto at dinner were no match for Phillip's terrible service and his salad that Gail said was stupid. So no more Phillip. (click for more)

Project Runway All Stars 2/18/16--"Let It Flow" summary

Previously on “Project Runway All Stars”: a bunch of people who I remember mostly for their drama and annoyingness (rather than their designs) showed up on my TV for no reason. OK, I guess not for no reason. Their first challenge was to think of a moment when they knew they were “destined” to be a designer and then make a “fashion-forward” outfit about it. During most of the episode not everyone talked about specific moments but then on the runway during judging they all had one. Also Hot Makeup Guy Scott has returned. Valerie won, which was nice. It was a cute outfit. Daniel Franco and Mitchell had terrible outfits but instead of getting rid of anyone the judges decided not to eliminate anyone. Which is DUMB because 1. your job is to eliminate people and 2. unless you're going to have a double elimination you just made the season longer by an episode and if you wanted a longer season you should have cast more people. It's not like you seemed to have high standards when it came to casting. (click for more)

TAR 28 Recap Leg 1, 2-12-16

Welcome to Leg 1 of The Amazing Race 28! When we join Phil, he’s hanging out in Mexico City, at the Monument of the Revolution. Wait, Phil, that’s not in the United States, so what’s up? Turns out the gimmick this season was to get eleven teams of social media stars. So that we can see how they can function offline. How droll. Well, they are waiting at home for a phone call from Phil so that they can start the race! (Toyouke: “You know they know the race is about to start. They're together and have their bags packed.”) So the eleven teams are: (click for more)

TAR 28 Recap Leg 0, 2-5-16

Welcome back to the Amazing Race! It’s season number twenty-eight, and the gimmick this season involves internet stars! With no access to social media, complete with surprises, U-Turns, and other TAR ridiculousness. (Toyouke: “My thoughts on this casting are, CBS mistakenly believes gimmicks will cause people to watch. I don't know that it will? I guess they think "social media influencers" will bring a built-in audience? Or we'll all be super bored like last season. Also I don't watch any of these people's YouTube channels or Vines or whatever and I'm not about to start just because they're on TV. Also remember Joey? Exactly.“) Oh, and I brought Toyouke along for the snark. Aren’t you lucky? The eleven teams for TAR28 are: (click for more)

Top Chef 2/11/16--"Restaurant Wars Part 2" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: the first part of Restaurant Wars, because this season they have to make both lunch and dinner, as well as being either FOH or executive chef for one service. Phillip was Phillip, and tried to design a salad that was too complicated and Kwame was tired of dealing with him. Marjorie and Karen decided Isaac was not a good enough chef, so they...had him be executive chef instead of front-of-house? When service actually started, Jeremy made the decision to stop all service while they made the food for the judges. So some people had to wait over half an hour between courses, and as a result they didn't serve all their tables lunch. District LA (that's Phillip, Jeremy, Kwame, and Amar) had better appetizers, while Palate (Karen, Isaac, Marjorie, and Carl) had stronger entrees. (click for more)

Project Runway All Stars 2/11/16--"What Makes an All Star?" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: some nonsense, and then some more nonsense, and then everyone tried to have the show with Tim Gunn but without Heidi but that didn't last. But apparently it is important enough that you can be on that show and still be an All Star? “What Makes an All Star?” is a person who has the time and feels like being on TV again, as far as I can tell. No one from the last season of this show. Filming conflicts? Or no one was good enough? Who knows.(click for more)

Top Chef 2/4/16--"Restaurant Wars Part 1" summary

Previously on “Top Chef”: everyone had to make pretty food for the Quickfire, and no one ate any, they just took pictures and saw how many likes they could get. What was nice about the challenge is that no one knew who won until Judges' Table. The Elimination challenge involved cooking for Beefsteak, which is a big charity event where everyone dresses up and then eats with their hands. Apparently also you were supposed to make beef, which people whined about. Everyone complained, but first of all they didn't tell the contestants beef, they just said meat, and second, they let Phillip win because he made lamb chops on the bone which was the kind of eating-with-our-hands thing they wanted. Kwame still was struggling, but since he had a good idea/poor execution, he was viewed a little better than the other two fish dishes which were poor ideas. Chad's fish dish was too fussy and had microgreens so he was sent home. Oh and Karen won the Quickfire, not that it mattered since she was never in danger of going home. (click for more)