Project Runway 8/30/12--"Oh My Lord and Taylor" summary

Previously on Project Runway: the “real women” challenge produced mixed results. There’s always one designer who can’t handle designing for non-models, and this season that is Ven. However, he’s much more of an asshat than anyone has ever been, talking about how it was unfair he got the fat girl and going on and on about how none of the belts fit her. And then getting on Twitter and complaining they gave him a fat girl on purpose. They probably did. I would bet they gave one to Gunnar too but he instantly went into Carson Kressley mode and was fine. Fabio won, and his dress was cute, and Nathan made the dress his client wanted so he lost. That is how it always works too.

Hell's Kitchen 8/27/12--"4 Chefs Compete" summary

Previously on “Hell’s Kitchen”: everyone was required to teach beauty queens to cook, which mostly went well. Barbie won, somehow, because she’s decided to stop blending into the background and just float by. During dinner service Barbie further distinguished herself by bringing up crappy risotto four times in a row. But everyone is tired of Clemenza’s general suckage so he was sent home, finally.

Project Runway 8/23/12--"Fix My Friend" summary

Previously on Project Runway: There was a stupid team challenge. Raul and Elena were the worst, Raul because he refused to listen to his team at all, and Elena because she had one of her freakouts and yelled at everyone. Gunnar got pissy about his team too. There was a photoshoot which wasn’t even that great. Melissa won, because a high cowl neckline is apparently “modern”, even though no one I know would wear it to work. Raul was eliminated again. On the way out he told Elena he hated her guts, because I guess he is unaware of how stupid that makes him look.

Hell's Kitchen 8/20/12--"5 Chefs Compete" summary

Previously on “Hell’s Kitchen”: Clemenza and Dana won the first challenge, which was not very exciting, and then the contestants all worked together in one kitchen for the first time, without any giant hangups. Well, except for Dana on fish, but she just got behind. She also didn’t want Robyn or Clemenza to help her, because they suck. Also they had to compete against a team of runner-ups, although nothing happened with that either. Long story short: Robyn went home.  

Project Runway 8/16/12--"It's My Way on the Runway" summary

Previously on Project Runway: Andrea left in the middle of the night, and then Kooan quit in the workroom. Everyone interviewed about how horrible Andrea was but no one said anything bad about Kooan. Seriously, everyone was super angry with her, which was strange and also, shut up and work. Chris was especially annoying. Raul returned. The challenge was to make outfits for women on the go, and Sonjia won with a really cute dress. Buffi made a zebra print sheath with a hot pink smock over so she was eliminated.

Hell's Kitchen 8/13/12--"6 Chefs Compete" summary

Previously on “Hell’s Kitchen”: I know it was a while ago, but there was a ton of bickering and Brian was sent home, which was sad. Everyone failed the first challenge but the girls did mostly well in dinner service. Also apparently we have to showcase Ramsey’s new show, so only one episode of Hell’s Kitchen a week until it’s over. On the one hand, I only have to deal with this show once a week. On the other hand, it just drags out this circus forever.

Project Runway 8/9/12--"Women on the Go" summary

Previously on Project Runway: everyone paired up so they could make dresses for past designers who are going to the Emmys. This included cars for no reason other than product placement. Don’t worry, they mentioned it once and then never again.  Kenley is Kenley and Irina is aggressively bitchy, but that’s OK because she has Gunnar. Kooan also is stuck with Gunnar and is sad the whole episode. Buffi and Elena don’t get along well. Andrea has weird ideas and Chris is passive aggressive about how she sucks but he just RESPECTS her so much he can’t say so. The judges have started smoking crack, as Gunnar’s plain white gown with a jacked up butt seam, and Ven’s boring Kenley dress for Kenley are deemed the top, while Dmitry and Melissa made April a long gown in silk charmeuse and are only safe. Whatever. Ven wins, in the end, which means Kenley will probably be at the Emmys trying to grab attention. Chris and Andrea throw each other under the bus, and Chris is a bitch but Andrea is flat-out lying about things she said. However, Raul and Alicia have made a really horrible dress and Raul is sent home. Then Andrea packs up her stuff in the middle of the night and goes home.

Project Runway 8/2/12--"Welcome Back to the Runway" summary

Previously on Project Runway: the annual “unconventional materials” challenge. This time it’s candy from Dylan’s Candy Bar. No one sneers that they don’t work with candy, or whatever, like Bert did last season. Gunnar and Chris keep on fighting. Maybe they’ll make out. At least then Gunnar would be quiet.  Ven crushed some rock candy and made a dress that resembled stained glass, so he won. Lantie ended up scrapping her design, and even though both Gunnar and Elena had dresses that fell apart on the runway, Lantie cut up an umbrella and made some candy flowers so she goes home.