Friday, October 29, 2010

Project Runway 10/28/10--"Finale pt. 2" summary

Previously on Project Runway: everyone worked on their collections and then had to make a new look at the last minute. The judges decided Michael C. wasn’t good enough, although his clothes looked more high-end than Gretchen’s did. Who knows what the judges ever think, though. (click for more)

Gretchen is kind of shocked she’s here. Mondo and Andy are super thrilled. Gretchen finds a note at breakfast saying there are “friends” waiting to meet them. Mondo hopes it’s not family.
They go to Parsons to meet for the reunion. Wait. Wait one damn minute. THIS is how the reunion is going to work? You SURPRISED the finalists with the reunion?? Jesus. Well, I’m not cluttering up my recap with it. You can read that here.


Waste. Of time. So anyway. One day before the finale, everyone gets to work on finishing touches. Andy is thinking about what the judges said last time, how he had no range. Gretchen is trying to improve her styling to have more drama. Mondo splits a zipper but is trying not to freak out.

Tim time! He says that even though they just made an 11th look, they can only show 10 looks, so one has to go. But it also sounds like it doesn’t have to be the new one. Mondo doesn’t want to have a circus, but the judges also liked his showmanship. He knows he’s always been in the top, so what he’s doing must be working. Mondo’s going to scrap his evening gown, which is all black and not really him. He’s treating it as his last runway. Andy had a more complicated bathing suit. Why didn’t he show that one? He’s going to take one bikini out, but there is the one he showed which is not that great, and the one he hasn’t shown which has twisted fabric Tim likens to hair growing out of her crotch. Not good. Gretchen is scrapping her newest look, because she got nailed for her outfits not being fancy enough. “More dramatic styling” for her is brighter lipstick, crazier hair, and high heels.

When Tim leaves, he leaves them with hair and makeup stylists and all 10 of their models. No model selection this season, I guess. That’s no fun. Tim tells them he’s excited for all of them but doesn’t cry. Mondo and Andy have headpieces so they have sleek hair, but Gretchen is doing like, tousled and matted. Eh. Model fitting. Everyone seems to be feeling good about their models. Even Andy, who doesn’t quite know what everyone will be wearing. Some of Mondo’s girls didn’t show. For real? Fire them. That’s crap, there are plenty of models waiting to be in this show.

The three finalists go back to the hotel and talk about how it’s finally the end and they’ve all grown and whatever. Just get me to the end. This has been the LONGEST season and I’m ready for it to be over. Everyone interviews about how much they want it, and Gretchen says this has been humbling which is funny. Mondo’s the most emotional about how bad he wants it.

3am wake up call! They go to the tents, and Gretchen comments on everything. Things get going and Mondo is missing models. He’s also saying that some guy screwed up his lineup and he’s bitching at people, but in his Mondo way which is fairly polite. With 40 minutes left, Tim tells him he should be in hair and makeup and leave his lineup. Andy is hemming pants. Mondo has to use an alternate, who has short hair and makes it not cohesive. But what can he do? Andy is flailing. Some pants are a mess. Jessica Simpson is the guest judge, feh, also the dress she has on is SO unflattering. I’m sorry, but it makes her shoulders look super weird, like her arms are so fat she doesn’t really have shoulders but like, her neck just slopes into her arms. And I’m sure her arms aren’t like that. Gretchen does not get any footage about her troubles. I’m sure she had some. But we don’t get to see them.

Finally. Time to go. Heidi claims to be attached to the designers.

Gretchen is up first. As usual for the past few years, rather than describe each look, I’m going to link to the collections. Tom and Lorenzo, formerly Project RunGay, always have many many pictures and do a fabulous job of putting them together. Here’s Gretchen’s collection. Her stuff is fine, aside from the liberal use of hot pants. I like her jewelry. I do not like clunky heels. The whole thing feels resort wear, not really “high fashion”. I mean…not that that automatically means no one will buy it. But the last model is wearing a dress and a leather vest and flat sandals. Also Gretchen herself is wearing a sheer skirt over granny panties.

Andy is up second. Andy’s collection is here. There’s a lot of shiny and it looks more expensive than Gretchen’s. It does all feel like party clothes, though. There is some talk that the woven top was stolen from someone else. I’m not sure if they will bring it up or not.

Mondo’s collection. Mondo’s collection is very Mondo, lots of black-and-white prints in lots of combinations with little pops of color in skinny belts and headpieces.

Montage of famous people talking about each designer so we get a selection of people talking about who they think will win.

The judges sit around by themselves and say nice things about the designers before they come out. Everyone’s a winner! Jessica wants to wear something from one of you! Andy explains he was inspired by Laos and textiles from there. Kors likes that he had an Asian theme but not a costumey collection. His dresses were interesting but simple at the same time, but overall Kors thinks his collection was narrow. Heidi wasn’t impressed with the first look, but she liked some of the stuff in the middle. Nina was glad to see the “softer” side of Andy, but he kind of lost something with it. It’s not as much Andy. Nina wants some edge. Jessica really liked his stuff.

Gretchen’s collection is called “Running Through Thunder” (…sigh). The prints were nice and there were a lot of different types of pieces. Her pants were modern and the whole thing felt easy. Nina also likes that she listened to what they said about the styling, even though the whole collection was pretty monotone. They also have a problem with her opening look, like Andy’s, because it was one of the hot pants looks and it was kind of weak. Kors can see who this girl is, that wears this collection, but then there are random leather pieces that don’t go. Everyone loves the jewelry. Heidi says this is a hip girl, although wearing all the same print, and Jessica wonders if you saw all this together on a rack somewhere, how many things would you buy?

Mondo was inspired by Mexico and the Day of the Dead. It was all Mondo. Jessica liked the skull T-shirt. His collection was cohesive, great use of color, but Nina thought it was too overwhelming. It’s teenager and he should have edited down. Jessica loved the personality and the uniqueness. Heidi points out that the long polka dot dress didn’t go over well with Kors and Nina the last time, and Mondo defends himself. I guess Kors didn’t like how it was so much print, and then he attacks the look with black and white plaid pants, and it’s so much plaid, and Mondo previously made super high-waisted pants in shiny purple with black plus signs and yellow accents, but THOSE pants were awesome. I’m sorry, but seriously. Be consistent. Kors tells him never to lose the drama, but it’s costumey. Sigh.

Everyone says why they should win. Mondo has grown as a designer and a person, he loves himself more and therefore can create. Gretchen has also grown and has listened but been true to herself, and will immediately make them proud if she wins. Andy says winning would let him start a big journey.

Individual pieces from Andy are praised but overall Nina wanted some “Andy” edgy pieces. Jessica asks if they scared him. Ha! Kors didn’t like the headgear. Overall, there’s no bite, and they all agree he’s out.

On to Gretchen. She has good sensibility, likes accessories, and is in tune with what’s happening. Her clothes are on trend, and she stayed true to herself. It was a collection. They move on to Mondo, who has incredible talent and is crazy creative. The strapless dress with the bubble hem and the pink tunic are the favorites. Kors wishes he would edit. Nina complains that she warned him about it. It sounds like Kors and Nina are bitter that he didn’t take their advice so they’re spouting crap about how ready-to-wear is so great and editorial and wonderful. This is stupid. More stupid than usual. Heidi and Nina argue about Mondo vs. Gretchen. Nina compares Gretchen to Seth Aaron. This is so stupid. You are going to lose viewers. You are rationalizing your decision that you made for no apparent reason. HEIDI is the voice of reason! You know there’s a problem with it. Heidi does bring up the excellent point that there is nothing wrong with Gretchen’s collection, it’s just not exciting. PLUS they praised Mondo all damn season for having crazy prints and colors and suddenly it sucks. And didn’t they eliminate Emilio last season for being TOO ready-to-wear? I knew I was tired of this season.

Heidi tells Andy that he’s talented but not the winner. He seems OK and I know there are people who will buy his stuff. Heidi talks endlessly about how awesome both Gretchen and Mondo are, and then names Gretchen the winner. WHATEVER. That is my reaction. Hire new judges, Lifetime. You just gave the win to a woman who had a monotone collection with one print. Good job. Everyone loves Mondo so he’ll be fine. I’m done.
Clicky clicky

Project Runway 10/28/10--Reunion summary

I can’t believe I have to sit through the reunion before I can see the finale. (click for more)

Everyone pretends they’re happy to see each other. They’re not totally shocked, but excited to see all their friends. The finalists, I mean. Heidi makes sure they all know they’ve grown. She then says in a voiceover that Andy has a clear voice as a designer. Andy montage. He does do some really nice stuff, but then there’s the Jackie O. look with the weird pants. He has great execution. After the montage when everyone claps Gretchen and Mondo pointedly do not clap.

Everyone talks about how they are stars and Peach has a huge gay following and Valerie got proposed to on Facebook. Hee. Casanova learned a lot of English. AJ says everyone always asks him for the scoop. Especially about Gretchen. Mostly people get asked about Ivy and Gretchen. See, I didn’t think Gretchen was a bitch. Not much after the team challenge where she just kind of imploded. And Ivy eclipsed her. She claims that she’s just confident and she gets choked up about how strong women are labeled “bitches”. Maybe that’s why I don’t think she’s a bitch, because she was just cocky. Ivy is shaking her head and says that’s fake. Seriously? April backs her up and gives an example: when Chris was around Gretchen would give him praise, but then in interview say she’d never liked anything he did. Oh, but you could call Ivy on that too. Let’s not heap it all on Gretchen. Gretchen says she has opinions on design, not people’s character. That’s true. Mike C. has gotten to know her and he knows she means well. Mondo says they’ll all be criticized at one point, so it’s not fair to pick on her. Well, I don’t think it’s fair to tell someone they did an awesome job and then say later you hate everything they’ve made. But whatever.


Gretchen montage. So I’ve seen a theory that the judges praised some of Gretchen’s stuff that maybe didn’t deserve to be praised as perfect and awesome, so she got a big head about it and then when they came down on her she was confused. That’s not the worst theory. They show the billboard, which I guess is good for Marie Claire because they’ve gotten some (deservedly) bad press lately. Not that I feel like helping them out, so last time I’ll mention it.

Tim talks about Mondo and Mike C.’s relationship. Mondo admits he was being a jerk based on hearsay, but he came around. Tim says Michael had the last laugh. Tim claims all the contestants were there for each other. I guess.

Mondo montage. Hee. Crazy colors and prints! Then there’s a montage of craziness. Mike C.’s Kors impression. “Animal wooly balls”. Hee, I forgot about that.

Heidi claims this season is so great because everyone spoke their minds and were themselves. Yeah, that must be it. Certainly wasn’t the judging. For some reason, montage of the family visits and then people talking about how tired they are. And crying. Which montage makes everyone cry, I guess.

Heidi makes everyone try to guess who will win, but who knows what the hell the judges will decide? They’ve been doing some crazy nonsense. Tim removes the finalists, and that’s it. That. Is. It. 20 minutes, straight through. Probably less, actually. Well, that was a waste of my time.
Clicky clicky

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Top Chef:Just Desserts 10/27/10--"Dessert Wars"

Previously on “Top Chef: Just Desserts”: for some reason, one pot desserts are super rare and weird, plus then everyone has to make savory desserts which somehow no one has ever seen before. Morgan is a jerk, and may have elbowed Heather in the mouth, but she’s also playing up the drama. Zac wins, and wins immunity, but trades it for $5000. He immediately regrets this when the Elimination challenge turns out to be making desserts that are only black and white. Heather misplaces a tray of rice krispie treats and immediately blames Morgan with no evidence aside from how she hates him. The men all do well, with Yigit winning, and the women all do poorly, with Erika losing with her apparently soapy ice cream and her blackberries, which are purple but would have been not as bad if it tasted of blackberries. (click for more)

Heather thinks everyone was happy she was in the bottom, because she’s just that awesome, but she’s not going to cry over it. Yigit says he has a target on his back. Morgan is obsessing over breaking up Team Diva.

For the Quickfire, no guest judge is around. No immunity from now on. Today’s Quickfire is the mise en place relay race. Nice. By some miracle (or producer interference) Team Diva is all on the same team. I’m pretty sure it’s producer interference, but I know how this works, because I know Restaurant Wars is coming up. The team that looks the best always goes down in flames, and I’m excited for that to happen to Team Diva. No one wants to be with them anyway. The first leg, they must mold 12 tart shells. The second leg, pipe 8 buttercream roses, all the same size. Eric knows he can do that. Third leg, separate 6 eggs and whip the whites until you can hold the bowl upside down over your head for 10 seconds. The last leg, which is a team effort, all three people must stretch strudel dough over the length of the table and then roll it up. Also the winning team will get $3000 each.

First leg: Yigit vs. Danielle. Eric has labeled their team Team Positive. Danielle is smoking Yigit. She finishes when he still has one left, and then Johnny makes Yigit redo 4 tart shells. Second leg: Heather vs. Eric. Eric’s hands are shaking, but I know he can nail this. He also notices Heather’s roses aren’t as nice. Sadly they make it, but Eric finishes before Zac can start separating eggs. Third leg: Zac vs. Morgan. Zac pretends that Morgan’s size and muscles give him an advantage, so he’s flailing. Morgan is not slacking, but he’s whipping and staring at Zac the whole time. Like, just intimidating staring, while Zac flails. It’s kind of creepy, and I don’t generally condone Morgan’s brand of creepy, but it’s also kind of awesome. I think Danielle is calling him “Morganza”. Hee. It’s hilarious how calm Morgan is and how frantic Zac is. Morgan calls time first and is good. As soon as he finishes, Zac calls it too. Final leg. Everyone stretches dough. Morgan thinks he’s the only one on his team with experience, which he might be, so he tells everyone to use the backs of their hands. Which Team Diva is not doing. Zac whines that Morgan’s doing it wrong. Sadly he is, and Team Positive has holes all over. Team Diva finishes rolling before Team Positive can even finish stretching the dough out. Sigh.

Gail says the Elimination challenge is Restaurant Wars. Oh sorry, “Dessert Wars”. Each person has to make three items, and create the design of their shop and whatnot, and include a bread item. They have to make their shop stand out. The winners will get $10,000 each. Danielle reveals she is the only one left who hasn’t earned any kind of money yet.

Next door are bare shops, with display cases and café tables and a counter and stuff. They get 45 minutes to plan. Zac wants to get a theme first, to get dishes. Team Positive is going for comfort, while Team Diva wants “candy shop” I think. Morgan tries to wander off to hold up colors, and Danielle wants him to come back to the table, so he sulks. Eric is waiting out the drama.
Shopping is 30 minutes with $1000. Team Diva is buying candy and bubbles and balloons. Zac declares they are better in every way. Morgan goes in the back and talks in Spanish to get some ripe bananas.

5 hours to prep. Heather reveals that out of the 9 dishes for each team, one must be bread, which we knew, but two have to be a la mode, which we did not know. Heather calls the other team “Team Loser” which seems par for the course for her. Team Diva’s menu is as follows: margarita sorbet, fennel seed brioche with white truffle butter, frozen key lime bar (that‘s Yigit, Zac, and Heather, respectively). OK, so that’s a partial menu. Heather is rolling dough for the whole team, by hand as she doesn’t like the dough sheeter machine for some reason. Team Positive: ginger ale float with tangerine and raspberry sorbets (Danielle), chocolate chip cookie (Eric), soft pretzel with mustard (Morgan). Morgan then discovers he’s missing two bags of lemons. He argues with Yigit about it, and Yigit admits in confessional that he grabbed a whole crate of lemons because of “efficiency”, not because he needs all of them. Then he thinks Morgan would like to see him go because he’s a threat. Yigit gets all high and mighty about it, saying there are plenty of lemons and next time he could just ask instead of blaming him. Oh, you mean like how you just blamed him for Heather’s missing rice krispie treats? With half an hour to go, Morgan starts cursing and being sort of close to Seth. He hasn’t finished all his work. Danielle knows if he can’t pull it together they’re doomed.

Back at the house, Morgan is still pessimistic about their chances. Eric is upset because this challenge is important to him, as he really wants to open his own shop.

The day of the challenge, everyone has 2 hours to set up and be ready for customers. Morgan seems to be in a better mood. Both teams have a ton to do. Yigit goes to put cupcakes or something in the fridge, and a whole bowl of whipped cream falls out all over him. Ha! There is a lot of running around.

So, apparently you are allowed to make plated desserts, and also have things in the display case, so Heather is back in the kitchen by herself while Zac and Yigit are working front-of-house. Yigit basically says Heather would be horrible dealing with the public. Team Positive has a slightly different set-up: Danielle takes the orders, Morgan is in the kitchen, and Eric is wandering tables schmoozing or possibly being a waiter. Our guest judge today is Nancy Silverton. Also Hubert lucked out and got to judge this episode. OH. I get it. Heather, earlier, I thought said “we have to make two a la mode desserts” but she was saying “a la minute”. So you have to have two things made to order.

Team Diva’s shop is called “Pastry Playland” which Yigit describes as “very elegant and sophisticated desserts with an absolute kids’ visual palette.” Johnny likes the centerpieces, which are square glass vases filled with candy and flowers. They are cute. Both Hubert and Gail wonder why the display case is empty, while they have trays and trays of desserts on racks behind the counter. Zac: donut with wild blueberry jam, with a lemon verbena milkshake; the brioche (which has kalamata olives); and caramel corn with bacon. They like the donut but the shake is just OK. The brioche is great, and the kettle corn is not evenly coated. Back in the kitchen, a server returns a frozen yogurt with no explanation and Heather is irritated. Yigit’s desserts: chocolate tart with peanuts and caramel; margarita sorbet; and layer cake with raspberry, strawberry, and hibiscus gelee. They love the sorbet, but the cake has a specific French name and Hubert says it’s not traditional enough. I mean…that’s not what he says, but if I said to you “I’m making burgers” and then I served a chopped up steak with tomato jam and cheese sauce? Same thing. The tart has such a thick crust they can’t get into it. It seems a disaster. Zac is in the back trying to help Heather so she can plate for the judges, but the waiters are still bringing food back to the kitchen with no explanation about why it’s been sent back. Zac tries to tell her what to do, or tell the waiters what to do, or something, so she tells him she doesn’t want them to get confused, so shut up. Zac clutches his pearls all, “Did you just tell me to shut up?” and Heather is like “Shut up!” Hee. She pretty much ignores him and he says “And please don’t ever tell me to shut up again.” Immediately she says “Shut up,” which is awesome and makes me like her a little bit more. Heather’s desserts: lemon cream tart; frozen key lime bar with strawberry sauce; and milk chocolate pudding cup with mango. They all agree Yigit is doing a good job working the crowd. The key lime bar has big fingerprints in the sides, and the key lime is not strong enough. They also notice the dough on the tart is too thick.

Once the judges leave, people start making special orders. Hey, you’re getting free food. Just take what’s there and deal with it. But Yigit is nice about it. Team Positive has some man who is allergic to nuts and processed sugar. Seriously? You knew this was a DESSERT SHOW, you’re allergic to sugar, and you showed up anyway? WTF? Eric wants to get rid of the guy, but Morgan insists on making something. The judges show up when there is a very long line. Of course.

Team Positive’s shop is “Whisk Me Away”. Danielle sort of describes their shop but she’s not super confident. I think she’s fine. Gail says it looks appealing, but Danielle is kind of low-energy. Eric’s dishes: chocolate chip cookie; vanilla malted cake with chocolate buttercream, and banana loaf with brown butter tangerine icing. The banana loaf sounds good. Danielle is really low energy. The cake is rich, but the buttercream is good. The cookie is great but maybe too simple for Gail, but Johnny points out that it’s a business and cookies sell. The banana loaf is weird but tastes good. Danielle: pistachio shortcake with lemon cream and strawberries; coffee cream pie with hazelnut brittle; house made ginger ale float with raspberry and tangerine lime sorbets. Gail loves the ginger ale. The shortcake is served in little cups so it’s portable which is nice. The cream pie is not coffee enough. Morgan: pretzel stick with mustard (oo, burnt); chocolate mousse cake with a crème brulee center; fried lemon pie with salted caramel ice cream. The pretzel is really burnt. The pie and ice cream are delicious. The pretzel is brushed with butter, which somehow irritates Johnny. The cake is very sophisticated, and Gail thinks Morgan showed them the most range out of everyone.

Heather interviews that they tried really hard, and she sounds kind of choked up about it. Morgan also hopes they won, because they made people smile.

Commercial interlude: Danielle talks back to Morgan and he talks back to her because they are like siblings. You say mean things and they bug the shit out of you but then you are proud of them later. When they’re not looking. (Ppombo: “Damn straight, bitches.”)

All six contestants roll in to Judges’ Table. Team Positive did a good job making their space comfortable and inviting, but Danielle was too casual and “lackadaisical”. The banana loaf wasn’t sweet, and Eric screwed up the leavening. Morgan’s chocolate mousse cake was something to be proud of and delicious. Danielle knows the coffee cream pie wasn’t coffee enough. Team Diva took risks, says Zac, to create a “dessert experience”. Pff. Yigit had fun working the front of house. Zac’s donut was perfect, but the milkshake wasn’t that great. The brioche was delicious too. They point out the fingerprints on Heather’s key lime bar, and also it was not limey enough. They start talking about Yigit’s tart, and he says he thought the dough might have been a little thick, and they tell him it was a lot thick. But the chocolate was good. Heather admits she made all the dough for everything. Team Diva also says they did fill their display case, but they got slammed. But it looked great right before you got there! Before someone will admit they were responsible, Heather says they’re a team and Zac says they‘ll win or sink together. The judges all agreed they’d keep coming back to Team Positive’s shop. Of course! Because that’s what happens in Restaurant Wars. One team is “obviously” better and they always crash and burn. Eric’s really moved. Zac bitches that he can’t believe the other team won, especially with Danielle. Cry me a river.

In the Stew Room, Morgan gloats that Team Go Diva will be split up after today. Zac’s milkshake was unnecessary and not flavorful enough, and his caramel corn wasn’t evenly coated. Heather’s key lime bar didn’t taste right, and her dough wasn’t thin enough. Yigit’s cake was lackluster and his tart suffered from the dough Heather made.

Zac was responsible for the display case, along with Yigit, the tarts were bad, and all of Heather’s desserts were bad. So Heather goes home. The boys are shocked, as if they didn’t imagine one of them would go home. Immediately they cut to Heather in confessional saying there were problems with everyone’s desserts and she’s not sure why she’s going home out of the three of them. She says her head is high and she’s proud of what she did. The boys cry but whatever. She’s not dead. Jeez. She’s glad to have been part of their experience. Also she wouldn’t do anything differently.

Next week: the producers strip the kitchen, and someone is not creative.
Clicky clicky

Monday, October 25, 2010

TAR17, Recap Leg 5, 10/24/10

Welcome to Leg 5! Last time, on Let’s Sweden This Up A Little, teams raced from Ghana to Swedish Lapland. There was dog racing and ice sitting, and lots of crashing and clashing. The doctors ended in first, which caused the elimination of Team Glee. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Nat/Kat, Team ER
2nd – Gary/Mallory, The Hillbillies
3rd – Brook/Claire, Team Infomercial
4th – Michael/Kevin, Team Internet
5th – Jill/Thomas, Team Who?
6th – Nick/Vicki, The Geniuses
7th – Chad/Stephanie, Team Neverland
8th – Katie/Rachel, Team Jersey Shore

Riksgränsen, Sweden-Norway Border

6:00 AM Nat/Kat (1st)
Clue: Drive yourselves to Narvik, Norway. Once there, find the gondola station and ride to the top of Fagernesfjellet Mountain to get your next clue.

(Toyouke: “’Make a run for the border’...ha ha...God, so many people I know are too young to get that reference. Sigh.”)

Nat and Kat believe this is good for their friendship.

6:04 AM Gary/Mallory (2nd)
6:05 AM Brok/Claire (3rd)
– (Toyouke: “I don't think Brooke can be Zen.”)
6:30 AM Michael/Kevin (4th)
6:48 AM Jill/Thomas (5th)
– (Toyouke: “Thomas, seriously? Did you just call your girlfriend stupid on national television because she didn't go to college?”)
7:11 AM Nick/Vicki (6th)
8:12 AM Chad/Stephanie (7th)
8:34 AM Katie/Rachel (8th)
– who say they are amazing friends on the Amazing Race. But they trash talk the doctors. (Toyouke: “I get that you hope someone fails a task, but panic attacks are not things to wish on people.”)

Teams drive themselves to the Narvikfjellet in Narvik and arrive in the following order:

1- Nat/Kat
2- Brook/Claire
3- Gary/Mallory
4- Michael/Kevin
5- Jill/Thomas
6- Nick/Vicki
7- Chad/Stephanie
8- Katie/Rachel

Teams take the Narvikfjellet to the top and find the next clue in the following order:

1- Nat/Kat
2- Brook/Claire
3- Gary/Mallory
4- Michael/Kevin
5- Jill/Thomas
6- Nick/Vicki
7- Chad/Stephanie
8- Katie/Rachel

Nat and Kat open their clue and find. . . a Fast Forward! (Toyouke: “Goddamn Fast Forwards, only one per race, bunch of crap. At least they left the eating to an optional task.”)

FAST FORWARD:

Recall (if you can, since we see these so rarely anymore) that a fast forward is a task that can be performed to allow one team to skip all remaining tasks and head directly to the pit stop. However, each team may only use their fast forward power once on the race, so they must decide when it is more advantageous to use it. In this, the only fast forward on this race, (Toyouke: “ONLY ONE FAST FORWARD? WTF IS THAT?!?!?!”) teams must travel to a nearby restaurant and perform a Norweigan Christmas ritual called smalahove, which requires each team member to eat half a sheep’s head. Once complete, they get their next clue and skip all remaining tasks and travel directly to the Pit Stop.

Teams decide to go for the Fast Forward in the following order:

1- Nat/Kat – which keeps them in first place, if they get it. But when they get there, they find that it’s the eating challenge that they’ve dreaded, and it’s meat, which Kat (a vegetarian) hasn’t eaten in 22 years. Kat: “Tastes like a million dollars.” Nat: “It’s probably eyeball.” Kat: “Crunchy!” But they get through it. (Toyouke: “I LOVE the schadenfruede of a vegetarian facing an eating challenge. “Auburnium0513: "'We want to partake'. No you don't." Toyouke: “I'm glad she's trying to eat it, but if she hasn't eaten meat in that long, she's not going to be well afterward.”)
2- Nick/Vicki – who arrive and don’t understand what it means that the “Fast Forward Taken” sign is up. (Toyouke: “You have no clue what that means?!?!?! Taken means TAKEN. How did you graduate from high school?”) Luckily, they leave and move on.

So – eating, Fast Forward for their team. Nat and Kat get their Fast Forward and travel to the PIT STOP at Ankenes Marina. (Toyouke: “OK, I'm impressed with Nat and Kat. I guess they never watch the Amazing Race to know that with SO FEW Fast Forwards the team in first always gets it.”)


The other teams drive themselves to the next route marker, Skjombrua Bridge, and arrive in the following order:

1- Michael/Kevin
2- Gary/Mallory
– Mallory: “We should do the Fast Forward!” (Toyouke: “Oh Mallory. You will not love eating sheep's head.”)
3- Brook/Claire

4- Jill/Thomas
5- Nick/Vicki
6- Chad/Stephanie
7- Katie/Rachel

And teams come to the fifth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Strength, Stamina, Guts: you’d better have all three.

In this roadblock, one team member must rappel down the bridge and signal one of two boats. Once on the boats, teams will get their next clue, but they can’t open it until they’ve used a mechanical ascender to rise 130 feet back to the top. Once complete, they can open their next clue.

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Kevin
2- Gary
- "My nuts are already getting it". (Toyouke: “Hee. That was a fun moment with two guys who forgot the stress of the race to commiserate in their pain.”)
3- Claire - and Claire is having ascender issues. And Brook is talking. As usual. And Claire tells her to shut up. (Toyouke: "Woo! Shut up Brook!")
4- Thomas – (Toyouke: “Thomas says "Easy and fast". That's what SHE said.”)
5- Vicki
6- Chad
7- Katie

After much rappelling and ascending, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Michael/Kevin
2- Gary/Mallory
3- Jill/Thomas
4- Brook/Claire
5- Nick/Vicki
6- Chad/Stephanie
7- Katie/Rachel

Teams are then instructed to drive themselves to Harvika Field to get their next clue.

So, teams arrive at the field in the following order:

1- Michael/Kevin
2- Jill/Thomas
3- Gary/Mallory
4- Brook/Claire
5- Nick/Vicki
6- Chad/Stephanie
7- Katie/Rachel

And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Bike OR Boat
*Bike: Teams must choose a pair of mountain bikes, being sure to remember the color of their bike lock. Once they ride the marked course, they must memorize their combination which is color coded on a sign at the end of the path. Teams return to the bike locks and unlock them to get their next clue.
*Boat: Teams make their way to a fish trawler and use a map to direct the captain to shore. Once their, they disembark with two cod and a chainsaw and deliver it to a summer lodge to get their next clue.

(Toyouke: “This is a weird Detour choice. Although I do love the nautical tootling.”)

1-Michael/Kevin choose Boat
2-Jill/Thomas choose Bike
– (Toyouke: “Well I'm glad they remembered what color to look for.”)
3-Gary/Mallory choose Bike
4-Brook/Claire choose Boat
– Claire: "We're pretty girls, I want a manicure, hee" (Toyouke: “Shut up.”)
5-Nick/Vicki choose Bike
6-Chad/Stephanie choose Boat
7-Katie/Rachel choose Boat

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Jill/Thomas
2- Gary/Mallory
3- Michael/Kevin
– (Toyouke: “Kevin, hijacking the directions! That's a good idea, just seeing where the guy points and taking off first.”)
4- Brook/Claire
5- Nick/Vicki
6- Chad/Stephanie
7- Katie/Rachel
– and the volleyball girls pray to God. (God: “"Ehhh...I don't like volleyball.")

Teams get their clue and find that they must drive themselves to Ankenes Marina, the PIT STOP of the fifth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Nat/Kat
2- Gary/Mallory
– (Toyouke: “Oo, Phil eyebrow pop. Hee!”)
3- Jill/Thomas
4- Michael/Kevin
5- Brook/Claire
– (Toyouke: “OMG there is NOTHING wrong with her eye. NOTHING. She's not gushing blood, she's not mortally wounded.” Auburnium0513: “Is it bad that I'm kind of glad she got hurt?")
6- Nick/Vicki
7- Chad/Stephanie
8- Katie/Rachel

And Katie and Rachel are eliminated. . . yeah. At least I don’t have to keep track of who’s who anymore.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Nat/Kat
2nd – Gary/Mallory
3rd – Jill/Thomas
4th – Michael/Kevin
5th – Brook/Claire
6th – Nick/Vicki
7th – Chad/Stephanie

Next week: Teams travel to Russia. Look, cinema! And Babushkas! (Toyouke: “In other words, next week: cavalcade of nonsense.”) Until next time!

Clicky clicky

Friday, October 22, 2010

Project Runway 10/21/10--"Finale pt. 1" summary

Previously on Project Runway: the dreaded last challenge before the finale. That generally means that everyone is afraid of failing so no one takes any risks and the clothes are boring. Pretty much what happened here. Plus, the judges decided Michael’s tent dress was the best thing they’d ever seen, instead of admitting he was probably going to the finale so Gretchen’s head would explode from the confusion. April is too nice and goes home. Oh, you know either the producers meddled, or the judges are on crack. Everyone used black except for Gretchen but only April got yelled at, and Andy did the same thing he always does but they didn’t care, but April goes home for using black and making the same thing she always does. Her decoy collection, the first look is white and tan. Like a big F U to the judges. Love it. (click for more)

Heidi comes out and tells everyone to go home and make a collection. They get $9000 and 6 weeks to make 10 looks. Tim comes out too and promises to visit. Gretchen tries to give a group hug to everyone. I read an interview Michael did for After Elton and he really thought Gretchen and Ivy were his friends. So he cried when they showed all the interviews of the two of them saying how he was a loser.

Everyone packs up and talks about how glad they are to have made it and whatever. Michael laughs maniacally.

Tim gets to go to Hawaii to visit Andy. Lucky. He gets there 2 weeks before Fashion Week. Andy lives on a huge piece of land, with plants and fruit trees and all kinds of stuff. And a greenhouse with orchids, and catfish breeding tanks. He scoops some out in a net to show Tim, who says “Aa!” and cringes. He almost makes Tim hold one but Tim is disgusted. Andy says they look like little Chinese men and Tim responds that he’s never seen a Chinese man look that unattractive. Hee. Andy’s mom makes a feast and they eat outside. This is possibly the best home visit ever. Andy gets choked up talking about how his mom is his support and he wants to make her proud. He’s inspired by Laos, which is where his family is from. He’s got gorgeous jewelry and headpieces, but he’s only just got all his fabric so his garments are not really done at all. Tim loves each look individually, but he is afraid that all together they’ll be a hot mess.

Off to Palm Springs to see Michael. 12 days left. He’s got a bunch of stuff done, which is unsurprising. He’s been inspired by sky and sunset and sunrise colors, and the shapes are from feathers. He’s got a skirt made of feathers, like long fringe. He’s already got 12 looks, plus 6 rejects. Tim proclaims it “design diarrhea” and he needs to stop designing and edit. Michael’s friends are over and they also feed Tim, like everyone does. Michael’s son is there too, but although Michael’s boyfriend will be at Fashion Week, his son will be in school and staying with Grandma. Boyfriend Richard says that’s best because Michael’s parents don’t really support him. He says for them to help him, he has to be married to a woman, which he is uninterested in. That sucks.

To Denver to see Mondo. 10 days left. The inside of Mondo’s living room is bright pink with yellow accents. He’s looking at “vintage circuses in Mexico City” and also the Day of the Dead. He’s got silk-screened skull clowns. And a lot of black and white prints. Plus one bright pink top that Tim thinks looks like pajamas. Mondo wants to make it, but if not, he’s at least shown them what he is all about. They all go to Mondo’s parents’ house to have lunch/dinner/whatever. His mom admits she tried to make him more macho, but it failed. Mondo had to play baseball in order to get piano lessons. Heh.

Portland for Gretchen. 7 days left. Her mom is helping her pack because she’s moving. From what she says, it sounds like she came home and her significant other had moved out and left her. She’s embarrassed to see Tim, but she’s also proud of what she’s done. When Tim gets there she tells Tim that everything has crumbled around her. Tim tells part of the story about his last relationship (I think), which caused him to move to New York so it all turned out for the better. Gretchen immediately agrees. I mean…it’s not like it’s a bad outlook to have, just that she seemed to really quickly go from “my world crumbled around me” to “that was a gift.” Her collection is somehow global rural Western. With silk bloomers. Tim thinks it’s too costumey. Tim only hangs out with Gretchen and her mom. She interviews that this process makes her vulnerable (?) and your friends don’t tell you that.

Time for Fashion Week. Andy’s grown his hair out but still is shaving the sides. It looks hot. Tim shows up and he’s carrying the velvet bag. Dun dun DUN! Everyone freaks out. Surprise! It’s a prize! They each get a vacation from the Hilton: Barbados, Costa Rica, or Hawaii. It’s a trip for two so Tim can come! Hee.

The new workroom is cute. Everyone unpacks their clothes. Tim appears again and says that they will each present three looks: two from the collection, and one they will make in the next two days. Of course. Extra look, enhance the collection, blah blah. Mondo seems the most lost, although Andy doesn’t know if he can match the colors in his fabrics.

Mondo makes a dress with stripes. Andy has like a million tiny pleats. Gretchen wants to fall apart. No one is answering her. Mondo’s dress doesn’t look that great and he’s discouraged that he’s wasted a day. It doesn’t, it’s brown and white stripes with bright pink side panels and a blue neckline panel like a necklace.

Tim time! The next day Tim comes round. Michael doesn’t know what two existing looks to pull with the dress he’s just made. Tim is concerned because it shouldn’t be that hard. Tim thinks Gretchen’s dress is great and her collection is cohesive enough she could really pull anything and it would work. Mondo’s second dress is far better. Andy has made a ton of pleats for his new look. Mondo thinks Andy’s collection is flat. Before he leaves Tim tells Mondo, Gretchen, and Andy to carry on, and he tells Michael not to choke. Ouch.

Day of the show. Michael still doesn’t know what two existing pieces he wants to use. Hair and makeup are not exciting, except that Mondo and Andy have headpieces. Everyone talks about how they can’t screw up and they have to make it. Gretchen now is talking like her leaving town to be on Project Runway caused her relationship to fall apart and forced her to move out and be homeless. Everyone cries except for Michael.

No guest judges today, kids. Andy: silver high waisted shorts and a top with ruffles along the v-neckline. Possibly it is a jumper. She also has a headpiece that is wires and little butterflies or something. She kind of has a wedgie though. Next is a bikini with a sheer overlay that starts at the bottom of the bikini top and floats down to her stomach in front, and then long in back like a cape. The final look is the new one, which is a chartreuse yellow one shouldered dress, covered in layers of pleats. It looks great, I think. The skirt is the same color but is just the fabric, no pleats, and there’s a sparkly belt. And a swirly headpiece. The skirts’ pretty short though.

Michael: he starts with the new look which is a long one shouldered number in a dusty rose color. The model has a little bit of trouble walking in it. It’s just drapey, without a lot of form, but I think there’s some kind of belt and a strap on one side, and the other side is just fabric draped down to her wrist. Next is a feather skirt, which looks like fur and is a brown that is almost red. It’s paired with a simple skin colored shiny top with a deep V. Third are a pair of loose pants in chocolate, with sparkles sewn on them or something. The top is a vest, I think. With a lot of fringe. And an armband.

Gretchen: olive green tank top and a skirt in the same color. This may be a dress. The skirt has big loops like giant pockets, and underneath is a brown print. The back has some braided straps holding up the back of the skirt like those pictures you see of old dresses that have a wrist strap to hold up your train. Next is a brown top with an animal-looking print, and brown pants that I think have pleats because the model looks like she has huge hips. Plus they’re tapered and cropped. It’s not a good silhouette. The blouse is backless. Last is a short robe, basically, in shiny fabric, and hot pants. The robe is black and has chartreuse lapels and is tied open so you can see she doesn’t have a shirt. I’m not sure which one is the new look.

Mondo: shorts and a high necked loose blouse, both in black and white prints, but not the same print. There is a neck bow on the blouse and a thin pink belt, and the back of the blouse has a racerback piece. The second look is the new one, which is a bright blue top, trimmed in a black and white print with gold studs. The skirt is a brown and black tweedy pattern with a thin yellow belt and a strip of black at the hem. It’s very Mondo but I wish his model had worn a bra. The last look is a long jersey dress in a black and white polka dot, with black side panels and no back but a boat neck in the front. It’s very tight but very Mondo.

Mondo talks about his collection and his screenprinting, and how he wanted less color than usual. The accessories have all the color. Kors likes the individual pieces. Heidi doesn’t like the blue top. She loves the polka dot dress though. Nina disagrees and says the dress is almost too wacky. There is a lot of stuff going on. Kors wants some balance, and Mondo promises surprises. Andy was inspired by Buddha statues. The judges all thought the bikini was the new outfit. They absolutely love the green dress, but Nina worries it’s too bare. Andy promises a range, and Nina is irritated because she doesn’t believe him. Andy doesn’t want to give it all away now, but the judges basically yell at him that he needed to, and the bikini sucks. And they don’t like the headpieces. Michael wanted some structure in his collection. He’s so nervous. Kors loves the dress, and Heidi loves the top that goes with the pants, the one with the long fringe. All his pieces are the same color, because Michael wanted it to look like a collection. But that isn’t what makes a collection. There are other colors, but of course the judges don’t see that, not with what’s here. The feather skirted dress was supposed to be a “wow” dress but it’s got too much going on and Heidi thinks that it’s boxy. Nina is bored. Gretchen picked out clothes to show her jewelry design, and knitwear, and hats. The green dress is the new look. She also wanted to pique their interest. Nina immediately responds that her interest is NOT piqued and these are crunchy granola clothes that are not polished. The only hope she has for polish is the open robe which is leather. Oo, Nina is in a bad mood. Good, I like her that way. Heidi agrees but is nicer about it. Kors tells her it doesn’t look expensive or like it belongs in a fashion show. To contrast with Michael, she also left out a big chunk of her collection but it was all the evening looks instead of clothes with different colors. Kors and Nina are incredulous because none of them did a good job of showing their range or exciting the judges today.

Gretchen stood by her outfits, even though they aren’t very good and are too plain. Kors is sort of interested but it’s not refined enough. Nina loves Mondo because he has the showmanship Gretchen lacks, but people might think he’s joking. He takes risks and puts colors and prints together, but there is a little too much going on. They don’t want the circus. Everyone rants about Michael and how all his clothes are the same color, and he doesn’t know what a collection really means, but he drapes wonderfully. Well, I guess Rami got this far on draping. Nina says he needs more practice. Kors wonders if there are elegant, better pieces in his collection. Andy admitted he didn’t bring his best pieces because he wanted to surprise them, but now they’re bored. He’s trying to bring some drama and has some ideas, but they’re all kind of iffy.

Mondo is in, like there was doubt about that. Gretchen is in too. Andy is in, which means Michael is out. He’s devastated. Seriously, he’s wrecked. He goes back to the Scrap Bin and sobs and punches the wall. No one moves for a very long uncomfortable time until Gretchen gets up finally. He doesn’t know how to go back home and tell his parents he didn’t make it, because he believes they’re going to tell him “I told you so” and tell him to move back home and get married again and get a real job. Jesus. I can’t imagine feeling that way about your parents, or thinking your parents would say something like that. Gretchen of course has to interview about how concerned she is for him. I feel so bad for him. Michael finally tells the final three to “give ‘em fucking hell” which Tim repeats, complete with cursing. Atta boy. Mondo says he’s proud of Michael. Michael loves his collection anyway.

Next week: it says “the finale” but it appears to be part reunion show too. My DVR cut off in the middle of the preview but I hope Ivy gets called out.
Clicky clicky

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Top Chef:Just Desserts 10/20/10--"Black and White"

Previously on “Top Chef: Just Desserts”: Soufflés were created. Yigit made the best one, and the other two members of his clique ended up on the bottom. Then the judges wanted “edible” fashion but didn’t specify that they really meant “chocolate” fashion so they dinged Heather C. and Danielle. They also were supposed to make petits fours to go with their clothes, and no one wanted to make lettuce and kale flavored petits fours. Morgan won, which pissed off Zac in a delicious manner. I still think they should have had to make clothes women could wear, even if only for 10 minutes. Heather C. went home again, as Danielle had one good petit four and Eric’s flavors were good. (click for more)

Danielle doesn’t think she’s “progressing” but she’s still here. She feels good about what she’s doing but the judges keep putting her in the bottom. Zac makes fun of Heather C. being gone again, even though she only came back because Seth was crazy pants. Heather H. would like Morgan to go home because he “doesn’t play fair”, degrades women, and is generally annoying. I’m not sure how degrading women isn’t “playing fair” but OK.

The guest judge for this round is…Isaac Mizrahi! No, not really, although it looks like him. It’s Michael Laiskonis, who is the pastry chef at Eric Ripert’s restaurant. Everyone seems to be afraid of him. There is a table full of savory foods by Gail, because their [product placement] Quickfire is to make a savory dessert. Zac complains that he doesn’t even eat real food, let alone cook it. I thought he might survive on a diet of glitter and rainbow Skittles, but he says it’s potato chips and ice cream. They only get one pot to cook in. Heh. No mixers, no blenders, no ice cream machine. The [product placement] is for dish soap, and I was wondering why there was such a stupid random product placement, but as it turns out, they can wash the pot as many times as they want! With their [product placement] soap! Hey, they aren’t paying ME. Plus, being able to wash out the pot a million times kind of defeats the purpose of a one-pot dish. Winner gets immunity.

One hour to cook. Morgan flies over to the table and tears the beets out of Zac’s hands. Some of them anyway. Heather says Morgan elbowed her in the mouth. I’m not sure how he did that, since they’re on opposite sides of the table, and there’s no footage, but I guess it could have happened. I looked, though. She immediately is like, “OMG you guys, look at the giant bump on my lip”. Any sympathy anyone might have had for Morgan evaporates as he interviews that if you go to the post with Shaq and he knocks you on your ass, you learn not to go to the post with Shaq. Zac complains about only having one pot. Yigit I guess grabbed all the bacon and hid it under the table, and is only letting his clique use it. That is pretty weak. I mean, grab it all and hoard it, OK, but hiding it so only your friends can use it? Seriously. Erika is pissed and she complains to Danielle about it. She says she’s tired of the bullshit. I would have gone and taken some while they were nowhere around. Yigit talks about coming out and how his family is supportive of him. Even though the ice cream machine is off limits, apparently they can still use liquid nitrogen, because Morgan is making sorbet. Someone rolls their eyes and says that won’t work, but it totally will because a ton of people make sorbet like that all the time.

Zac: steamed golden and red beet cake with sweet goat cheese cream and lemon thyme gremolata. Eric: couscous with milk, apricot and fig compote, and prosciutto. He says it’s a breakfast dish, and that sounds pretty good. Danielle: avocado with candied tomatoes, basil anglaise, and caramelized corn. It’s like, avocado pudding with stuff. Interesting. Morgan: sweet potato risotto with golden beet sorbet and ginger infused carrots. After the judges eat his food they show a shot of Heather icing her lip. But I REALLY want his dish. Yigit: chocolate cremeux with bacon fat and caramelized foie gras. That does not sound anywhere near as good as Morgan’s or Eric’s. Heather: sour cream corn custard with roasted beet berry compote and mascarpone cream. For all her complaining, her lip looks fine.

Danielle’s dish wasn’t sweet enough, and Eric’s dish wasn’t close enough to dessert. Heather also didn’t layer properly or cook her beets right. Morgan took a risk with his sorbet, Zac’s cake was warm and moist, and Yigit was refined. The winner is Zac. Well at least Yigit didn’t win. He fawns over himself because I guess he was upset at not having won anything yet. Gail offers him $1000 for his immunity, and he tries to bargain with her for more money. He wants to get to the end, but she offers him $5000 and he takes it. He immediately regrets his decision.

For the Elimination challenge, the L.A. Times is celebrating their anniversary with a “black and white” party tomorrow. Each chef will make 200 portions of a black and white dessert. Danielle freaks out because she says there are a lot of “creepy white foods.” Um…yeah. She’s seriously twitching. Oh no! What is Zac going to do? They get $500 to shop, 4 hours to cook today, and 1 hour to prep tomorrow.

I think everyone uses color in everything, so they’re all freaking out to some extend. Zac prays: "Dear God. I will give you back my $5000 for immunity. Thanks. Heart, Zac." Eric jokes that he’s going to just buy pudding cups and bake them in. He’s probably the most confident with the lack of color, as he’s a baker and he doesn’t always make super pretty plated desserts.

Yigit is going to make a cherry compote that will be black somehow. Zac thinks they’re on the same wavelength, but even if they had the same ingredients, they’d make totally different things, which is why he hasn’t killed Yigit yet. They have themes? I guess? Danielle is making things in shapes of numbers. Zac has decided to make a deep fried whoopie pie. He feels frying is exciting. Eric is short on eggs, but is trying to find them I guess, but is hogging the mixer and pissing off Erika. To his credit he feels terrible.

Johnny shows up to talk about how hard it is to use flavors without the colors of the ingredients. He also chides people on elevating their dishes and also making sure there are no colors. So people have been putting headlines on their dishes, and I mostly ignored them, but Heather says her dish is “The Bold and the Beautiful” which is the name of the soap opera I watch (shut up) and I wonder if she thinks she came up with that on her own? Gingerbread with cranberries and pomegranate sounds good but not black. Morgan has a grand plan, which includes compensating for the fact that cocoa powder makes cakes red. Huh? Erika likes her ice cream. She says she’s known for her ice cream.

Back at the loft Zac and Yigit sing showtunes loudly and piss off Morgan. He says he doesn’t want to be “bombarded with flamboyance” when he’s tired. Heh.

The day of the party everyone runs to set up. Zac has to batter and bread all his whoopie pies. Morgan’s cake has failed. He put syrup on the cakes, to soak in and make them moist, only he used way too much, or it didn’t soak in, or something. It’s a mess. It sounds like they didn’t soak up, because he’s soaking them again. Yigit has to finish his compote and cut and assemble and do a gang of stuff. Eric asks him what he’s making, which is essentially a chocolate napoleon, but Yigit rambles that if you use the French name you can charge 4 times as much. Eric then interviews that he has no idea what Yigit does ever. He may have cooked his compote down too far. Heather can’t find her rice krispie treats, so immediately she blames Morgan. Does he have rice krispie treats? No? Then shut up about it. At least Ed could say “Hey, Alex has pea puree that he didn’t have yesterday, and I’m missing pea puree, so…”

Yigit: chocolate cake with white chocolate mousse, berry compote, and almond milk ice cream. There‘s some tea in there too somewhere. I guess we’re going to let chocolate = black? Yes? Even though it’s brown? I know black is hard to get. Erika: lemon poppy seed ice cream with white chocolate pave and blackberry crème brulee. Pave is cake, I think. Sadly the blackberries are obviously purple. They like Yigit’s dessert, even though the compote is gummy. They also like that Erika wanted to not do chocolate, but her ice cream is soapy and tastes of glue. Zac: deep fried whoopie pie and passion fruit cream and Asian pear. As you can guess, fried food is nowhere near black or white. Even though it sounds good. Morgan makes fun of Zac’s voice. There are a lot of flavors, but the pies are heavy and sticky. Morgan: chocolate date cake, banana anise cream and coffee Kahlua jelly. The cake is soaked in toffee syrup. It’s all in squares, very art deco. Heather: spicy chocolate gingerbread torte, with frozen crème anglaise and blackberry compote. It looks like she just cut blackberries for plating, so they are at least darker than Erika’s. Johnny still harasses her about it. They like Morgan’s dish, but Gail thinks the cake is dry. Heather’s is good too, although Johnny is sad she didn’t listen to him about the color. Eric: Mississippi mud cake with Earl Grey whipped cream and hot fudge sauce. Yum. Gail praises his plating. They seem to like it. Danielle: lemongrass and ginger truffle, meringue with white peppercorns and cocoa nibs, and a chocolate sandwich cookie. Since it’s the 128th anniversary of the Times, the truffle looks like a 1, the meringue is the 2 and the cookie is the 8. Zac thinks it’s stupid, but Gail likes the playfulness. Johnny agrees with Zac that it’s a petit four plate, and it’s too sweet on top of that. Heather is really confident, which is usually not a good sign.

Commercial interlude: the clique gets drunk and acts stupid. These used to be funnier.

Yigit asks if anyone else was missing anything, because it’s “shocking”. I can’t believe they have the balls to accuse people with absolutely no proof other than “I think Morgan is a jerk”. Gail collects Heather, Erika, and Danielle. Surprise! You are the worst! I like that they do that every once in a while. Heather says she was happy with her dessert. It wasn’t black and white enough. They liked the flavors, but they think she might have been so stubborn she just made what she wanted without adhering to the challenge. Erika didn’t get her blackberries as dark as she wanted but she loved her ice cream. Johnny jumps on that and says it was not lemony but soapy. The blackberry layer didn’t even taste like blackberries. Danielle thought she did well, but the meringue didn’t taste like anything, and the three pieces didn’t go together. She tries to say she was trying to be creative, but Johnny calls it a copout, because she didn’t think about the order people were going to eat the three components in. The girls get kicked out so the guys can replace them.

Back it the Stew Room the guys complain because they think they are the bottom. Erika is really pissed because she says none of her ice cream tastes like soap. Heather doesn’t want the boys to dominate, so I guess Team Diva isn’t so solid. When Gail tells the boys they are the top, they’re all super relieved and it’s obvious the girls didn’t bother to tell them about it. Heh. Zac’s whoopie pie “embraced” the theme, even though it was BROWN. Whatever. They like Morgan’s confidence and construction, and flavors. Eric has great layered textures and Johnny says this is the best dessert he’s given them. Yigit’s dish was very complex, so he wins. Feh. He’s still cocky but nowhere near as obnoxious as when he won the Quickfire the other week.

Danielle didn’t think about how people would eat her dessert, and now they’re claiming presentation comes second to taste. Her flavors weren’t good enough. In the Stew Room she’s yelling about how she can’t cook for another palate other than hers. Erika’s dessert had blackberries all over, which Gail didn’t taste, and they all hate the ice cream. Erika’s pissed too. Heather tried to coast on her skill, but she was too stubborn and it wasn’t interesting or inventive.

I think the best part of the final judging comments is the part where Johnny tells Heather she sabotages herself. However, Erika gets sent home. She’s still proud of her dish, and proud of herself. She’s going to keep it real.

Next week: Team Diva vs. everyone else in the Kitchen Prep Relay Race (oh MAN I hope Team Diva fails), plus, Restaurant Wars! The cracks in Team Diva continue to widen.
Clicky clicky

Monday, October 18, 2010

TAR17, Recap Leg 4, 10/17/10

Welcome to Leg 4! Last time, on Never Ghana Give You Up?, teams kept racing through Ghana, where the Princeton boys failed a geography quiz and yet came in first place. Chad (!) commented on how awesome the kids of Africa were, and Michael got overheated, which made completing the Detour a challenge. But they did, only to find that they were not eliminated! Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Connor/Jonathan, Team Glee
2nd – Gary/Mallory, The Hillbillies
3rd – Chad/Stephanie, Team Neverland
4th – Katie/Rachel, Team Jersey Shore
5th – Nick/Vicki, The Geniuses
6th – Brook/Claire, Team Infomercial
7th – Jill/Thomas, Team Who?
8th – Nat/Kat, Team ER
9th – Michael/Kevin, Team Internet

Home of Awusa Ntso, Doryumu, Ghana

Teams spend the pit stop fixing up the Asebi Primary school and giving it much needed foundation repairs and painting improvements. (Toyouke: “I like that they helped fix the school. Although Team Glee could have possibly not sung.“)

10:15 AM Connor/Jonathan (1st)
Clue: Fly 4500 miles to Kiruma, Sweden! This municipality is located in Lapland, north of the Arctic Circle. Tickets have been procured through Frankfurt, but teams are under no obligation to use them. Once there, teams drive themselves to Jukkasjärvi to find the summer home of the Icehotel. You have $184 for this leg of the race.

(Toyouke: “Guaranteed plane tickets? Trying to avoid the TAR All-Stars African transportation clusterfuck?” Kmanpat: “Most likely.”)

The Princeton boys are on the leg that coincides with their Princeton graduation. This could be good or bad foreshadowing. (Toyouke: “Graduation, pff.”)

11:19 AM Gary/Mallory (2nd)
11:29 AM Chad/Stephanie (3rd)
– and Stephanie apparently hates snow. This could be fun.

12:12 PM Katie/Rachel (4th) – (Toyouke: “So...blonde girl's half-Swedish and it's as useful to her as my half-Japanese would be if we went to Japan.”)
12:23 PM Nick/Vicki (5th)
12:24 PM Brook/Claire (6th)
– Claire: “We decided to wear our really cute pink and black spandex outfits, and now we’re poorly dressed for the snow. But we sparkle!” (Toyouke: “Stupid Team HSN.”)
12:29 PM Jill/Thomas (7th)
1:12 PM Nat/Kat (8th)
1:26 PM Michael/Kevin (9th)
– (Toyouke: “Wow, Michael and Kevin weren't that far behind.”)

Teams take taxis to Kotoka International Airport and arrive in the following order:

1- Connor/Jonathan
2- Gary/Mallory
3- Chad/Stephanie
4- Katie/Rachel
5- Nick/Vicki
6- Brook/Claire
7- Jill/Thomas
8- Nat/Kat
9- Michael/Kevin
– who make a phone call on their cab driver’s cell phone and find out about a flight that leaves for Kiruma two hours earlier from Frankfurt. (Toyouke: “Yay! Smart racing!”)

When they arrive, Michael and Kevin tell the hillbillies and use Mallory’s blondness to sweet talk an airport worker into getting them on the flight. (Toyouke: “No! Collaboration is not smart racing!”) In the meantime, Nat and Kat use the internet to find the same flight, and Brook and Claire discover them doing it. Thus, the flights shake down in the following order:

First Flight, 7:35 AM from Frankfurt
1) Nat/Kat
2) Gary/Mallory
3) Brook/Claire
4) Michael/Kevin

Second Flight, 9:51 AM from Frankfurt
1) Connor/Jonathan
2) Chad/Stephanie
3) Katie/Rachel
4) Nick/Vicki
5) Jill/Thomas

Teams arrive in Kiruma in the following order:

1- Gary/Mallory
2- Brook/Claire
3- Nat/Kat
4- Michael/Kevin
5- Connor/Jonathan
6- Jill/Thomas
7- Katie/Rachel
8- Nick/Vicki
9- Chad/Stephanie

Teams drive themselves to Jukkasjärvi and arrive at the Icehotel in the following order:

1- Brook/Claire
2- Nat/Kat
3- Gary/Mallory
4- Michael/Kevin
5- Katie/Rachel
6- Connor/Jonathan
7- Nick/Vicki
8- Chad/Stephanie
9- Jill/Thomas

However, once they arrive, Michael and Kevin find the Speed Bump.

SPEED BUMP:

A speed bump is a task that must be performed by the last place team on a non-elimination leg. Once they complete this task, they may return to the place where the speed bump occurred and continue the leg. In this speed bump, teams must sit on the ice furniture of the Icehotel for ten minutes. Once completed, they will receive their next clue.

(Toyouke: “That's it?! Sit for 10 minutes?!?!!??!!?!? I mean, I'm glad because I love Kevin and Michael, but seriously.”)

Teams complete the Speed Bump in the following order:

1- Michael/Kevin

After much sitting (really?), they continue with the rest of the teams in getting the clue in the ice block, which says Pietarajätvivägen Fjellborgs vid Väkkäräjärvi. This sends teams to the Fjellborgs Lodge.

Teams arrive at the lodge in the following order:

1- Michael/Kevin
2- Gary/Mallory
3- Brook/Claire
– Claire: “Watch out for axe murderers!” (Toyouke: “Ax murderers don't come out during the day. Duh.”)
4- Nat/Kat
5- Katie/Rachel
6- Connor/Jonathan
7- Chad/Stephanie
8- Nick/Vicki
9- Jill/Thomas
– who miss an arrow and wander through the woods, a la Tammi and Victor. (Toyouke: “Ah...wandering the wilderness. Just like Victor.”)

And teams come to the fourth roadblock.

ROADBLOCK:
Who’s feeling kind of mushy?

In this roadblock, one team member must get on a training dog sled and travel a marked path while collecting five flags. Once complete, teams trade their flags to a hunter for a bundle of pelts. For every flag missed, roadblockers need to take a lap around the hunter’s lodge. Once they have collected the pelts, they return to the start. Once complete, the docent will give them their next clue.

(Toyouke: “OK, I know last week I said that dogsledding without snow was stupid, but this actually sounds pretty cool.”)

The following team members complete the Roadblock.

1- Michael – who passes a bear. (Toyouke: “FAKEST BEAR EVER seriously that was so lame”)

2- Mallory – who is the only person to miss a flag.
3- Claire – whose kiss of the trapper is number six for her team. (Toyouke: “"Kiss count"? Really? I'm not sure if that's the image you want to present to the country.”)
4- Kat
5- Katie
6- Connor
7- Stephanie
8- Nick
9- Jill

After much dog sledding, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Michael/Kevin
2- Brook/Claire
3- Gary/Mallory
4- Nat/Kat
5- Connor/Jonathan
6- Nick/Vicki
7- Katie/Rachel
8- Chad/Stephanie
9- Jill/Thomas


Teams are then instructed to drive themselves to Vassijaure Train Station to get their next clue.

So, teams arrive at the train station in the following order:

1- Michael/Kevin
2- Nat/Kat
3- Gary/Mallory
4- Brook/Claire
5- Connor/Jonathan
6- Chad/Stephanie
7- Katie/Rachel
8- Nick/Vicki
9- Jill/Thomas
– (Toyouke: “Foreshadowing is laughing at Jill and Thomas.”)

And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Sleds OR Beds
*Sleds: Teams must take a ski lift to the top of a mountain and use a tech sled to travel a set course on the mountain in 1:58. If both team members make it down in the allotted time, they get their next clue. If not, teams must return to the top of the mountain and repeat the task until both team members can complete in the allotted time.
*Beds: Teams must find the Sami dwelling and build a goahti, a traditional tent. Once completed and comfortable, the tribe will give them their next clue.

1-Michael/Kevin choose Beds
2-Nat/Kat choose Sleds
– and take two tries to complete.
3-Gary/Mallory choose Sleds – and take two tries to complete.
4-Brook/Claire choose Sleds
5-Connor/Jonathan choose Sleds
– and take four tries to complete. (Auburnium0513: “Jonathan can't sled to save his life.”) And then Bald Snark at the last minute to Beds. Not good racing boys. If you’re the last ones at the task, you should stay.
6-Chad/Stephanie choose Sleds – and try the course once, and then Stephanie convinces him to Bald Snark to Beds. (Toyouke: “Wow, Connor is so supportive of his partner who sucks at sledding, CHAD.”)
7-Katie/Rachel choose Sleds – Katie: “I hate flying down mountains at high speeds.” And they Bald Snark to Beds.
8-Nick/Vicki choose Sleds
9-Jill/Thomas choose Beds
- and decide that since they are in last and it looks like a long task to use the Express Pass. (Toyouke: “Well, while I do applaud Jill and Thomas trying the other Detour option, in an effort to gain time, had they actually tried to do it instead of use the Express Pass, that would have been pretty stupid.”)

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Nat/Kat
2- Brook/Claire
3- Gary/Mallory
4- Michael/Kevin
5- Jill/Thomas
6- Nick/Vicki
7- Chad/Stephanie
– (Toyouke: “Oh, now that they're not losing, Stephanie's not a disappointment. Asshat.”)
8- Katie/Rachel
9- Connor/Jonathan

Teams get their clue and find that they must drive themselves to the Sweden-Norway border, the PIT STOP of the fourth leg of this racearoundtheworld. (Toyouke: “Oo, the border. Exciting.”) The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Nat/Kat
2- Gary/Mallory
3- Brook/Claire
4- Michael/Kevin
5- Jill/Thomas
6- Nick/Vicki
7- Chad/Stephanie
8- Katie/Rachel
9- Connor/Jonathan

And Connor and Jonathan are the last team to arrive. So, they throw their hats since this is their graduation day. And then they sing this great parody of “Amazing Grace.” And I wonder why in seventeen seasons this is the FIRST time anyone has thought to do that. Anyway, first to worst, no more singing.


ORDER NOW:
1st – Nat/Kat
2nd – Gary/Mallory
3rd – Brook/Claire
4th – Michael/Kevin
5th – Jill/Thomas
6th – Nick/Vicki
7th – Chad/Stephanie
8th – Katie/Rachel

Next week: Teams celebrate Christmas, Norwegian style! I feel like there is reindeer eating. (Toyouke: “I do believe that's a sheep head. “) And Claire is hanging. (Toyouke: “Also, Claire FINALLY tells Brooke to shut up.”) FINALLY. Until next time!
Clicky clicky

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Project Runway 10/14/10--"We're In a New York State of Mind" summary

Previously on Project Runway: everyone made clothes for Heidi’s active wear line, and then they decided that was too boring so everyone had to make three full outfits, and have eliminated designers help them. This is so Ivy, who is still bitter about being eliminated, can come back and accuse Mike C. of cheating. Even though she and supposedly other people already talked to the producers and the producers already told them they weren’t going to do anything about it. So she just looked like a horrible person. Mondo and Gretchen had a hard time with criticism. Andy won, because his clothes were cool but still looked like active wear, and Chris was still boring so he went home. (click for more)

We begin right after the judging is over. Tim says they have to go meet Heidi on the runway right now. This is essentially what happens every week: elimination, everyone does confessionals, they go back to the runway and do model selection, then more interviews probably and then home to sleep. But today we’re going to come out and say so. Heidi greets the final 5 and says that it’s more surprises! We want you to relax tonight! PLEASE. Michael agrees with me and does not believe her. If you’re ever on a reality show, and the host tells you to take the night off, never believe them. In a side note, this is supposed to be the last elimination before Fashion Week, and they’ve been saying that only 3 will “show”, so does that mean double elimination? Or are we going to do that stupid thing where two people have to battle it out like 2 days before the runway show? Which they could also just start announcing instead of pretending every season that they didn’t mean to do it.

So “one of the most spectacular places in New York City” turns out to be the Presidential Suite at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel. It is very swank. Everyone drinks champagne and cheers. Gretchen pretends to be happy to be there with everyone else. You know in like, five minutes she’ll be looking down on people again. She starts telling everyone she is “supposed” to be there, not like “I am the best so of course I am meant to make it to the end” but “this is totally destiny that we five people in particular are in this room at this very moment”. She continues and says she “set the intention” to do whatever she is passionate about for the rest of her life. Andy says this is a crash course in being who you are. Michael has learned about who would wear what and how to step it up. April is a stronger designer. She talks about how some people have had famous people wear their stuff but she hasn’t. Mondo has been on a journey to set himself free, and he’s meant to be there. Somehow it is far less eye-rolly when he says it.

In the morning…wait, they got the night off for real? Huh. Anyway, Tim is on the roof with Mayor Michael Bloomberg. Gretchen thinks this is a sign of what New York thinks of their show. Sure. The final challenge is to draw inspiration from New York City. Anything. You know this challenge always ends up disappointing. I’m not sure why, probably because no one wants to do anything too crazy and risky. They will get $500. Tim reminds them to wow the judges, then says he’s sending them to “[their] location” and he’ll see them at Mood in two hours.

So it looks like they were allowed to go wherever they wanted. Michael is headed for the Statue of Liberty, to make a draped dress. April is sketching the Brooklyn Bridge. Mondo also is there, but he’s on the bridge itself taking pictures of the support cables. Andy is in Central Park, being inspired by the trees and pathways. Gretchen is on the Lower East Side. She’s feeling “underinspired” because she doesn’t want to do anything literal. She wants to be herself, and she seems to be planning to just design for whatever woman she’s generally designing for. Is she just going to make something she likes and then fake a story about how it’s New York? Because that’s what it sounds like.

Andy is pulling different textiles and textures. Gretchen has changed her mind and is pulling things that remind her of the brick buildings. Michael…I think Michael wants to literally make a dress that is like the Statue of Liberty’s dress. Tim warns him not to do that. Tim also suggests to April that she might want to surprise the judges with a color. She does a lot of black. She is cool with that. Mondo is already going “full Mondo“, as Tim says.

They will get the rest of tonight, and all day tomorrow, and “at least one of you” will be going home. Pff. That says to me right there they’re taking 4 people to eliminate one the week of the runway show. Michael feels the stress because he’s been in the bottom the last 3 times. Tim is not coming back until tomorrow morning. April wants to “go out with a bang” and show the judges what she will bring to her collection. Michael is really pushing to do something. You know Gretchen has something to say about how Michael is not up to par or whatever. Oh, there she goes now. Mondo is exhausted and takes a nap. A two hour nap. Wow. When he wakes up he is worried. Michael has sort of made one dress, but he sort of doesn’t like it. He thinks it might be too safe, and has cut very long strips of black fabric with little pleats. I guess to make tiers of ruffles on a skirt. Mondo just shakes his head. Gretchen laughs that she wants to leave. That’s the sound clip from the commercials. You knew it was fake. Everyone goofs off and seems to be on the edge of losing their minds. The best is Michael does a very good Kors impression, while wearing a big piece of fabric over his head like Halloween ghost. Oh, it is as close to Kors as Santino’s impression is to Tim Gunn. Gretchen tells Andy his dress looks like a dominatrix outfit, and then interviews that “Andy tends to like it just this side of slut”. Hee. He interviews that he “gave birth to a Chinese prostitute”. Inspired by Central Park. Andy is worried about it but he knows he has to stick to something or he’ll never finish.

Back at the apartments Gretchen seems to understand that what she said to Andy is both good and bad. Andy can’t think about anything else now. Mondo is behind, and knows that no one would have woken him up. They all want him to sleep in. He says he’s more behind than ever before, in any challenge.

In the morning, Andy has decided to stand by his dress. Michael is still pleating. He’s trying to be meticulous. Mondo wonders where the dress is, as right now it’s in strips. For his own dress Mondo has sequined fabric, and he’s afraid to cut it, but he does, and then it doesn’t work at all. When he cuts it, he cuts the sequins too, so it’s all raggedy, but how ARE you supposed to cut sequined fabric? There must be a way to do it. He’s going to just use black and white.

Tim time! Mondo shows Tim his sequins, and Tim supports his decision to ditch them. Michael interviews something nice about someone for a change, and says he’s never seen so much creativity. Not that Michael is always a jerk, just that confessionals during Tim Time tend to be negative. April is doing something that is very April, but Mondo fears it is a costume. Also there is no color yet. Michael shows Tim his draping, and Tim thinks he’s not ambitious enough, but his pleats and whatever are overworked. Tim says “don’t lose your voice”. Andy’s dress is executed very well but is also almost too safe. Tim says not to let her look like one of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Gretchen is glad to have a “real” critique with Tim today. She says her “feminine bohemian thing” is very urban. OK. Her dress is red, with black lace overlay, lined in leopard print. Tim tells her not to say she’d wear her clothes herself, but to say her customer would wear them. She makes sure to tell Tim it’s been an honor to know him, as if no one else ever thinks that.

Michael is back to his original design. The models come in. When Andy puts his dress on his model he loves it, because she doesn’t look as much like a prostitute as he feared. Tim brings in the Garnier hair guy to consult with everyone. I’m not recapping the advertisement that follows. Michael loves the dress on his model so much he starts talking about how he would date his model: “Cassie looks absolutely stunning in this dress. I would date her. Without a doubt. I’d take her out, it’d be a cheap date…she’d get some…” Hee. Mondo has nothing to fit so he’s upset about it. Gretchen is making a leather jacket. Michael is weaving a shrug? By hand? I don’t know. Andy and Gretchen worry that it could be horrible, but it might also be genius.

In the morning I think everyone is still freaking out some. No one wants to talk to each other, even though they’re all mostly relieved to be done with all the challenges. April’s model is boobtastic in her top. Michael’s shrug doesn’t work so he scraps it. Gretchen’s model doesn’t like her outfit. Mondo starts freaking out. So…when everyone had their consultations with the hair guy, no one took pictures or wrote anything down, because they’re all having to describe their hair looks to the people there. Everyone talks about how much they want to go to Fashion Week. Only Gretchen cries about it.

Guess who the guest judge is! Christian! Heidi refuses to say how many there will be after tonight, which means there will be four. Michael: long black dress. That’s it. It has a halter top and a high slit, and a low back. But it’s just draped and there’s not even a belt so it doesn’t really have a shape. Gretchen: the red skirt with the black lace overlay has a mullet hem, or at least is longer on the sides than in front. There is a white tank top, and a cropped leather jacket with vertical stripes on the edges. I like the jacket. There are vertical stripes down the back too, and I think they extend past the edge of the jacket. So there is the black jacket, and then cream and tan tabs where the stripes are. Andy: short black dress with a high neck that does look Asian. The sides and shoulders are shiny instead of matte black so they stand out. The shoulders are kind of pointy, but not shoulder-pad pointy. The back is cut out with strips of fabric across it in a random pattern which looks really cool. Mondo: a short dress with long sleeves. Down the center of the dress is black, then black and white checked tweed, and then for the sleeves and the sides, a sort of shiny herringbone pattern. It looks good. In the back, the back is mostly the shiny, with a horizontal panel of the checks. April: the top has a high collar but also is low cut enough that her boobs are on display. I think one side has a cap sleeve, kind of pointy, but the other side is sleeveless, but with a cuff on her upper arm that is attached to the bodice. The skirt is very voluminous and down past her knees, and also lined in purple. I think there are also leggings. On the back you can see the cuff better, I think there is a strip running down her shoulder to hold it on, and a cutout on the back so her shoulder blade is exposed. It looks cool and very April.

Mondo explains how he was inspired by the Brooklyn Bridge and went op-art. Kors knows he proved he doesn’t depend on color. Kors also pretty much giggles at the patent leather. Nina loves it too, but Heidi is all “I would have loved to see something completely different”. Because she’s seen the houndstooth? So? Nina just said he showed a range! Whatever. Christian likes it. Andy was inspired by Central Park, but it doesn’t show at all. It’s sewn perfectly and fits perfectly, though. Nina likes the shiny “wet” look. Basically everyone likes it but Kors. Gretchen pretends she was inspired by the Lower East Side, when we know she just made something she liked. She talks about how she wanted to “replicate the essence of the customer that would be walking down the street there.” The way they edit it makes it look like it was an effort to say “customer” and not “me”. Kors tells her she lost her steam, it looks Midtown and “rock and roll secretarial”. They don’t think it looks like her, but I think that jacket looks like her and also the mullet hem. She breaks down and says that she’s tired and wants to get back to how she designs but she’s sick of the challenges and they got the best of her. Heidi arrows in on that statement, of course. Gretchen says the challenges are crazy, and you have to edit yourself to fit in. But Heidi points out that this challenge, they were free to do whatever they wanted. Christian wonders if this is her collection. He’s too nice today. They tell her she’s better than that. April wanted fluidity in her dress, as well as structure, but Kors hates it. He hates that apparently it’s the same dress she’s made every time. I get that the judges get tired of seeing the same thing all the time, but wouldn’t it make more sense if they gradually got tired of it? It always seems like they love love LOVE whatever a designer does, and then all of a sudden one week that same designer is “repetitive” and “boring” and they hate all of it. It’s just so sudden. Kors says there’s never any joy in her clothes. OK, they did say that the other day. April likes the drama and elegance of black. Heidi tells her she should have done a color to surprise them. Nina thinks this is a missed opportunity, because she hasn’t shown them range. Michael is up last, even though he doesn’t know what fabric he’s made his dress out of (chiffon jersey, I guess). Of course as usually happens when everyone is like “WTF is that” the judges fall over themselves praising it. I don’t know.

Now is the time where everyone has to say why they should go to Fashion Week and who should go with them. Michael has shown them a range, and he would take Andy and Mondo. Gretchen uses big words, wants to surprise them, and would take Mondo and April. April because she’s young. It’s just so condescending! Gah! Sorry. Andy’s taken risks, and would take Mondo, and April over Gretchen. Mondo has fun creating, and thinks Michael and April should come with him. But not before he says everyone hates Michael and he used to as well but Michael is actually pretty cool. April promises not to use all black, and wants to bring Mondo and Gretchen. So…every single person thinks Mondo should go to Fashion Week. Nice.

Back in the Scrap Bin, April is still upset about the judges, and Michael tells her not to let it get to her. Andy is like, no one take anything personally because we don’t want you to go to Fashion Week. Whatever. Mondo says he wishes all five of them could go, which would be more touching if they DIDN’T ALL GO PLUS THE LAST FIVE PEOPLE ELIMINATED. Mondo gets really worked up over having to pick two people, as if the judges really listen to what they say about that. It’s just for drama.

Judging time. Mondo stepped up to the plate, and loves colors and prints and combining them. His clothes are good enough to be in a show, but also wearable. Christian says something weird that I do not understand. Heidi laughs and contributes to the conversation but I still don’t know what is going on. Something about styling. Andy knows how to craft complicated pieces, but Kors worries they’ll be stuck in “super bitch warrior mode”. His dress was safe for him. Nina believes in his fabric manipulation and his ability to put on a show. Now Michael is up, and Kors says that was the best dress tonight. Seriously? Crack smoking! He claims it was exciting, and now I know he’s on drugs, because a loose black long dress is not exciting. Christian points out that he didn’t even know what fabric he used, so maybe he made a great dress by accident, and I am just now remembering when Anthony made that dress out of polyester and didn’t really know it and they tore him to shreds over it. Why are they up Michael’s butt about everything!? Now suddenly if you like the dress it totally doesn’t matter if you know what fabric you bought. It’s not that great. Let’s move on to April. Kors sticks to his assessment of “pregnant witch”. She hasn’t taken any chances and has made the same thing over and over. Christian likes the idea of it though. Gretchen’s clothes look like you could get them in a store. She previously knew exactly who she was designing for, but this outfit doesn’t match. Christian points out that she’s so different from what everyone else made (which is all black) that maybe it will be interesting.

When they all come out, Gretchen stops on the runway and forces everyone into a group hug, which is just nauseating and would be nauseating no matter who prompted it. Nina looks at Christian who I’m sure was making faces. Oh, only one of them will be out tonight. Just admit you want a final four. Admit the last elimination will be right before the runway shows. Don’t come to us season after season with your “Oh, everyone is so good we couldn’t decide!” because we all know it’s bullshit. Michael is in. No one is happy for him but Mondo. Mondo is in, like there was any question of that. Andy “deserves a chance” to surprise them so he’s in. Now we’re down to April and Gretchen. Heidi says a lot of harsh things to them, and then tells Gretchen she is in. Aww. Now I have to listen to her more. April is really upset. Tim comes in and says he’s proud of her and she’s going to have a great career. She’s proud too, but sad she didn’t quite make it. Tim clarifies that they’re all competing for those three spaces, instead of having two people confirmed and two people fight it out for the last space.

Next week: home visits, hot mess, the velvet bag.
Clicky clicky

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Top Chef:Just Desserts 10/13/10--"Edible Fashion"

Previously on “Top Chef: Just Desserts”: Seth had a nervous breakdown, basically, and passed out. When he came to, the producers kicked him off the show. Everyone seemed pretty pleased about it, or at least, not sad. So they bring Heather C. back, and then throw her right into a group challenge to mess with her. Oh, well first they have to make ice cream sundaes, which Morgan wins, or at least does the best at. Then for elimination everyone has to make “sexy” desserts to go with Lucent Dossier, which is like Cirque du Soliel with fire. Morgan wins again, which pisses off Heather H. because she says he didn’t do any work but make his own stuff, even though she volunteered to make the showpiece so it’s her own fault. Yigit’s team neglects to actually flambé their flambé dessert for the judges, but it doesn’t matter because Malika asks to quit. (click for more)

Hey, Bravo heard me and made a normal hour show!

Yigit, Zac, and Heather H. have made a clique. Yigit doesn’t want to call it a “clique”, of course, because “clique” means “group of people who exclude everyone else and think they are superior”. However they have labeled themselves “Team Go Diva”. Yigit thinks that everyone else hates them because they are so talented and are such good friends. Yeah, that must be it. Oh, Yigit. You were my best chance for eye candy after Seth lost it but you’re such a mean girl.

Gail introduces Sherry Yard, who is Wolfgang Puck’s pastry chef. Today’s Quickfire involves soufflés. Heh. They have one hour to make their soufflés. There is some talk about how tricky soufflés are, and then Zac says “Team Go Diva!” when they start, which I can see would be very annoying to people not in their clique. Zac doesn’t like soufflés because they are too light, so he’s making “soufflé glace” which is frozen. He sniffs at all the chocolate soufflés he sees. Morgan seems fairly confident but he doesn’t want to jinx it.

Danielle: lemon and lavender soufflé with blueberry ginger compote and honey ice cream. Zac: apple crisp soufflé glace. It’s “deconstructed” which means there is the frozen soufflé, which I guess is like ice cream, and then sautéed apples, and streusel topping. He sells his dessert (and himself) as Danielle makes fun of him. Erika: lemon basil soufflé with white chocolate raspberry sauce. She can tell when she pokes it to put the sauce in that it’s not quite done. Heather H.: chocolate raspberry soufflé, grand Marnier and Godiva cream. Yigit: chocolate soufflé with passion fruit and vanilla bean ice cream. He talks about his boyfriend. Sigh. (Kmanpat: “Yay!”) He then flirts with Gail who flirts right back. Morgan: gianduia soufflé with burnt sugar ice cream and raspberry coulis. Gianduia is apparently the generic name for Nutella.

Sherry didn’t like Erika’s soufflé because it was too sweet, and Zac’s was too dense. Heather H. also didn’t have enough flavor. Danielle gloats that 2/3 of Team Go Diva is in the bottom. The best soufflés were Morgan, with great height and flavor, Yigit, same things, and Danielle who had good flavor layering. The winner is Yigit. He says this is what should have been happening from the beginning. Has he always been this smug? I don’t remember him being so cocky. I might not have noticed.

Elimination challenge. Gail starts talking about Fashion Week, because they are making edible fashion. Zac is very excited, because he makes chocolate dresses for that show in New York. Gail promises help, and some woman wheels in a cart full of shoes. Apparently the clique has an obsession with Gail’s shoes. They will each get a pair of shoes to be inspired by. So we know why the clique likes shoes, but then Morgan loves shoes too. Especially women’s shoes. They are fab shoes, to be fair. Everyone gets to pick out some shoes. Danielle gets some awesome orange shoes, that I kind of want but I don’t know what I would wear them with. Zac makes fun of her, but I bet it’s just because he wanted them. Zac of course ends up with some black strappy zippered shoes. Like gladiator sandals where the straps are zippers. In addition to the outfit, they must each make two “couture” petits fours for some party. They get $200 for shopping (at Albertson’s! Not Whole Foods!), 8 hours for prep today, and 2 hours tomorrow.

Zac wants a whip theme. And plungers. Morgan is buying spices for his hot shoes. They are hot, they’re like, red and black platforms. Heather C. thinks her peach ruffley shoes scream “garden party” so she’s buying produce and Bubble Tape. I’m very impressed that people are buying things other than chocolate.

Back at the kitchen we have dress forms, underwear, fabric…I think sewing materials. Poor Eric is so lost. He knows what he wants it to look like, but has no idea what to do. Morgan is making circles out of chocolate to look like sequins. Danielle is modern and retro, and she’s using beet juice to dye her skirt. Plus the greens will become a shawl. Yigit is making white chocolate because he needs it to be blue like the shoes and regular chocolate won‘t take the color as well. Heather H. says her mom used to sew, and how she was adopted, and this editing doesn’t bode well for her. Zac puts chocolate over the plungers, I think, and then giggles. He is making a “burlesque showgirl warrior”.

Johnny busts in and makes them stop working. He has to announce that the winner of this challenge will get $20,000. Yigit says he creamed his pants. Oh, no, he did not say “peed”. Then Johnny leaves. OK then. Heather H. thinks Morgan’s plan of sticking chocolate circles on a slip is too simple. She sneers at it, as Yigit is over near her pretty much doing the same thing: sticking pieces of chocolate on the dress form. It looks like she’s molding chocolate to her form, and aren’t women going to be wearing these? How are they going to put her outfit on? Heather justifies her mean girl-ness by saying Morgan degrades women and is trashy. I don’t know if it’s trashy to be overly excited about your chocolate dress. Weird, but not necessarily trashy. Oh, he calls everyone “babe” or “darlin’” or “honey”. Eh…I don’t know. He’s kind of a jerk but I don’t know if “degrading” is the label I would use. Heather C. also talks about her past, so who knows who is going home. She seems to be making her dress out of lettuce and turnips, which is odd for a pastry competition but Gail didn’t specify the materials. However I am not sure how she’s going to make petits fours with lettuce and turnips. Morgan finishes early and then brags about it, which does not make any friends. His dress actually looks pretty good; it’s covered in shiny chocolate circles, with a red stripe down the side. He wishes he could put it on. Erika is making a “vixen” dress. Eric is flailing and has almost nothing done.

In the morning everyone runs back in for their last two hours to finish. Heather C.’s turnip slices have dried out and wrinkled, and while they do look sort of like an old vintage lacy skirt, they also look like dried up turnip slices, so she’s freaking out. She borrows modeling chocolate from Zac, who wonders if her accessories are ranch dressing or maybe croutons? That wasn’t as funny as you thought it was. Eric is trying to mold chocolate onto the top of the dress, but I think he’s using giant pieces that are too heavy, and the cookies are cracking, and it’s totally not working. Morgan is making a purse for his dress, which matches his shoes exactly. No no no, you can’t match exactly! He was done yesterday with everything, so he’s got the time. Everyone carries their clothes into the dining room, and sadly it looks like the dresses will stay on the dress forms, which is no fun at all. They should have had to put those clothes on real women. Morgan helps Heather C. with her belt, because it doesn’t hurt him and she’s not a threat.

People wander in and look around. Zac makes enemies by saying there are real fashion reporters there, not, like, “bloggers” (oh he made the air quotes). Look, think whatever you want to about bloggers, but pissing them off usually doesn’t help you out at all. A ton of people get all their information from blogs. Plus, bloggers are not inherently ignorant. Zac also sneers at people’s petits fours, because they are too big. Much like amuse bouches, petits fours are supposed to be bite sized.

Erika: her dress is a short chocolate dress, with one of those collars that is basically an actual collar, with a strip down the front of her chest. From far away, it almost looks like the top is made of feathers. At the bottom of the skirt is popcorn dusted with cocoa. The skirt itself is strips of chocolate, and there is a little gold leaf on the top chocolate pieces. The petits fours are her “earrings”, raspberry jelly and mousse in a circular shape, and also a “purse“, made of lemon and milk chocolate ganache and apricot jam. Her earrings aren’t really bite sized and the chocolate is melting. Zac: well… I guess it’s a good thing they aren’t really having models. Zac has neglected to put a bottom on his outfit. There’s just some chocolate coins on strings. It looks sort of like a warrior, with the silver colored plungers. Also in the back it seems to have tall spikes. He swears it is wearable, and he can have it on Gail in 10 minutes. She says they’ll save that for later. Why is Gail flirting with all the gay men? The petits fours are passion fruit and lemongrass “pasties” (they look like Hershey’s Kisses) and coconut black tea “makeup bags” with pineapple gelee. The makeup bags have little handles. Johnny is embarrassed by the pasties. They like his dress and flavors, but the ganache is slightly gritty.

Eric: poor Eric. There are square cookies on the skirt, which kind of look sloppy, and the top is raggedy chocolate. He has a cherry cheesecake “pendant” and a chocolate cake and banana “clutch”. They look sad too. It tastes good though. Heather C.: lettuce skirt, a belt with pink peppercorns, leeks and lemon thyme for the bodice. It actually turned out pretty well, and not very wilted at all. The petits fours are a chocolate caramel “clutch” and chocolate fleur de lys “hair pin”. I think they’re just molded chocolate, and they have nothing to do with the dress itself. They like the caramel, but the only pastry technique in the whole dress is the royal icing that is holding the peppercorns onto the belt. Well, you should have specified you wanted a dessert dress, then.

Yigit: a very short dress with “feathers” of white chocolate. Most of the dress is white, except for a row of blue at the neckline and a row of green at the hem. I guess it’s different from Morgan’s in that it’s not circles but ovals of chocolate…but I don’t understand why they feel so superior when it’s pretty much the same thing. It does look good though. Yigit also serves raspberry pinot noir ice cream “hair pin” lollipops, and an olive oil and citrus cake “brooch”. The ice cream is flat, although it looks pretty. Morgan: short shiny dress covered in chocolate coins, with a stripe of red up one side. And he made the clutch to match. And he made a Ring Pop! Not really, it’s a spiced raspberry and milk chocolate ganache bon bon in the shape of a ring, and a red hot cinnamon macaron “earring”. The clutch he made also looks pretty good. They love his dishes too.

Heather H.: one-shouldered dress made out of chocolate. She’s managed to drape the chocolate, so it has folds like cloth, which is pretty cool. There is a row of flower cut-outs along the neckline, and a gold sash made of pasta on the side. The dress seems to have a circular pattern. Lemon curd French macaron “purse”, and almond cake with raspberry cream and passion fruit caviar “brooch”. Her brooch is basically a square petit four. At least Yigit’s brooch was round and flat. Sadly her macarons are not as good as Morgan’s. Danielle: the skirt is leeks, and the top has roasted beet juice as a dye, but I’m not sure what it’s made out of. Along the bodice and over one shoulder there are the beet tops, and carrot slices strung together to make a necklace. The clique snickers at her. Red velvet whoopie pie “purse” which actually looks like a purse, and roasted banana ice cream bonbon “watch” which is a bonbon with a tiny chocolate watch on top. They again whine about the vegetables, and also that her petits fours are too sweet. Eric knows his dress sucks. Heather H. has decided Eric deserves her pity, I guess, because she’s telling him his flavors are good and trying to reassure him.

Commercial interlude: everyone has nicknames for each other. They are not funny. The end.

Gail collects Yigit, Zac, and Morgan as the winners. Morgan is limping for some reason. Don’t forget the winner gets $20,000. Yigit’s outfit was chic and fantastic. Morgan’s dress was hot and the ring was gorgeous. He jokes that his inspiration was spending the last two weeks alone. Zac’s pasties were delicious, says Sherry. Hee. Johnny tells him he is “a silly little bastard” and he loved his dress. The winner is Morgan! He’s thrilled and thinks people see him as more of a threat now.

Heather C., Eric, and Danielle are the bottom. Zac proclaims loudly that a straight man from Texas kicked his ass. He says “Fuck you” to Morgan, who chooses to pretend it’s just two friends joking around, as Zac is pretending, rather than a real “fuck you” because Zac is pissed he lost, which is what is really going on. Good for Morgan. Eric admits he had a serious problem with making the dress, but Johnny tells him he makes cookies every day and they shouldn’t have been misshapen and cracked. Eric is very honest that he panicked and it was rough. Heather C. knew people were doing chocolate, so she wanted to bring some color. Johnny brings up the pastry thing again, which, if it matters so much THEN PUT IT IN THE RULES. Gail says there was no “garden party” in her petits fours, which gives me hope that if she had made petits fours with pink peppercorns and lemon thyme they wouldn’t have minded as much. Danielle liked her dress, which had texture and color, which she didn’t think she could do in chocolate. However, she had a lot of inedible products, as the whole bodice was fabric. Her “watch” bonbon was too big, but they loved her red velvet whoopie pie. Johnny wishes she’d applied that much detail to the rest of her stuff. Gail sends them back to the Stew Room, proving that the judges call it that too.

Johnny bitches about non-pastry techniques. They didn’t like Danielle’s dress because it didn’t look like it took a long time, and her bonbon failed. However Heather C.’s dress “looks like a drunken sorority girl made it”. She took a chance and nailed the caramel, but the chocolate on her petits fours was too thick. Eric’s dress was a disaster. While his petits fours were too big, the flavors were great.

Johnny attacks people some more, and then Gail sends Heather C. home. Again. She’s glad she stepped outside her comfort zone again. When she goes back into the Stew Room, Heather H. pretends to be sad. She’s proud of what she’s done.

Next week: Morgan elbows Heather and splits her lip, but basically says she should know better than to challenge him for ingredients. It seems to be Morgan vs. Team Go Diva.
Clicky clicky